Return of a Man Named PAMB and its Quotes

$900 spent on error-filled books, followed by further hefty fees for PA to correct errors that it should have spotted during editing (or quite likely inserted during editing)? But at least she didn't pay to be published!

There was a thread asking how many authors were making money from book sales. Most of the replies, naturally, focused on the authors not making money, so one of PA's (few remaining) loyalists chimed in.

Don't you authors understand Publish America is here for you to become an author. If you make money in that process you are way ahead of the game.

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So since the authors are not making money... where do they stand in the game?

This company is not set up to publish the Great American Novel but is here to give you a leg up on establishing yourself as a writer. You buy your books and you sell them or give them away.

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That strategy might explain the lack of money.

When you do that you can classify yourself in the company of Hemingway and Grisham.

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Because when you think of Hemingway, you think of a guy who bought his own books and gave them away?

Keep working and keep writing and keep sending your manuscripts to Publish America. Some Day!!!Rudy

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So basically, his recommendation is:

1. Keep writing.
2. Keep sending your manuscripts to PA.
3. Buy your own books from PA.
4. Try to resell them, or give them away once you've run out of people who will buy them.
5. ???
6. Success!

I saw something like that recently but using the Southpark underwear gnomes.


Phase 1: Sign contract with crappy author mill posing as a publisher.


Phase 2: ?



Phase 3: Literary success!

In my favorite cartoon version, "Then a miracle occurs" replaces Step ???.

Willem's Christmas Eve letter to the authors is, er, odd.

PVish said:

Willem's Christmas Eve letter to the authors is, er, odd.

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PVish said:

Willem's Christmas Eve letter to the authors is, er, odd.

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Someone's been reading too much GRRM...

There is "odd" and then there is fucking batshit insane creepy.

I need to take a shower now. I know I picked up a truckload of asstard cooties from reading that.

Ew.

He's on the fiction side, right?

I need another drink. Or three.

WTH!!??

PVish said:

Willem's Christmas Eve letter to the authors is, er, odd.

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He appears to be stark, staring mad.

--Ken

Oh dear.

As an entomologist, I can say that his very first sentence is wrong in many ways. Fleas and lice can only exist on their hosts, none of which are trees, unless you use a VERY liberal definition of "fleas and lice." 30,000 insects isn't hard to believe, but most of those are going to be scale insects that live under little covers on the branches and don't hurt anyone. Any other active critters (mites, aphids, etc) will be killed by the cold.

I also highly doubt the source of his information about the sacred phallus prior to the wedding. Perhaps some of the pagan religions in the area practiced that (I really, really doubt it, though) but the Jews of Jesus' time most certainly didn't. The Old Testament is quite clear that a woman needed to be a virgin on her wedding night. If accused by her husband of not being so, her family needed to produce the nuptial bedsheets (with the blood spots) to prove her innocence.

But my big question is WHY in the WORLD would Willem choose to discuss such a squicky (many of his "customers" are devoutly religious) and poorly researched topic on Christmas?

Wow that was.... Odd. I mean surly they have some younger writers. I would be mad if that email appeared in my kiddos inbox... Wildly inappropriate.

I also question the "God lays clams first." Every bible I have read say NOTHING of the sort. Infact just the opposite. She's to be untouched until the wedding.

PVish said:

Willem's Christmas Eve letter to the authors is, er, odd.

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Oh dear Lord, that was hilarious! I think I need to download that and send it as our family Christmas (or should it be Xmas?) letter to my husband's super-religous family next year. A sure fire way to NEVER receive one of those "Dear Family and Friends" letters ever again.

Oh.My.God.

Wow.

I really don't know what else to say. Even the stuff about the Christmas tree is incorrect. Just a whole page of crap.

Odd doesn't even begin to describe it. I sat and just thought WTF while reading that. The only part I think MAY have been true was the part of the Bible being the orignal besteller. But what does he know about those? I will give him points for creativity

After reading everyone's comments, I'm afraid to go read the actual letter. I don't know that I have enough brainsoap around to clean out my head afterwards .

OMG. LMFAO. That is all.

- Victoria

Oh. My. My innards hurt now. What a great way to say Merry Christmas.