Return of a Man Named PAMB and its Quotes

Bubastes said:

I think we need more chairs to prepare for the potential flood of new PA people visiting AW.

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The new wing should be just about finished. Plenty of room and coffee for everybody.

Uh-oh, there's a problem:

For some reason when I try to do the 9.95 PAperback order the cart is not applying my coupon code into the price when I hit recalculate. Is there an error in the ordering page or am I just forgetting to do something? Can someone from infocenter help me on this? Thanks.

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Wonder how many are having this problem?

And another newbie on another thread:

it never occured to me that PA would do absolutely NO, zero, nada editing at all. They still want my book like NOW but, and I may be in default on my contract but I will not authorize it to print until it's a clean manuscript I can be proud of and market knowing it was my best effort.

Thanks everyone for advise on marketing. My webistes up, I'vesent out the e-mail address' to PA and have mass alerted everyone about my book on Facebook. This is fun!

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How long before the fun is over?

PVish said:

And another newbie on another thread:

How long before the fun is over?

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She makes me really sad. I checked out the excerpt on her website and it's quite good; she has a strong, likable voice, a good sense of pace, and the basics down. That book probably could have really gone somewhere if she hadn't fallen into PA's trap. Now no one aside from her friends and family will ever read it.

This message is from a PA author's guestbook, and it was posted by a cheerleader who recently started a "Let's take a moment to thank PA for all it has given us" thread on the PAMB. But anyway...

it bothers me a lot also, the fact PA is only lowering prices for PAperbacks and bargain hardcovers if the author pulls money out of their own pocket to buy. It's not right, it's just a means to make money from the author.

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And back on the PAMB...

After recent purchases to stock up on softcovers (which apparently won't be discontinued now) and to activate one of my three books to PAperback, I now don't have the money to lower the PAperback price to $7.95. Sounds silly to not be able to afford making something cheaper, but my checkbook is pretty insistent about it. Oh, well.

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There's also a new thread called "Not a Full Book".

My friend ordered my new book and when she recieved it, it was only part of my book. What should she do? She was disappointed and so was I. Please help

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I'll bet they charged her full price for it, though. This thread won't stay.

Infomonster's reply:

Oh, come on, no reason for helplessness. Simply call 301 695 1707 first thing Monday morning, and we'll send a new copy right away.

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"Oh, come on??" If you ordered a product online from any legitimate company, and it came broken and you called to complain, do you think the customer service person who spoke to you would say, "Oh, come on, quit acting helpless?"

My friend ordered my new book and when she recieved it, it was only part of my book. What should she do? She was disappointed and so was I. Please help.

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Infomonster's reply:

Oh, come on, no reason for helplessness. Simply call 301 695 1707 first thing Monday morning, and we'll send a new copy right away.

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No one will answer the phone. You've wasted your money. Sorry.

Sure, it's no big deal.

All publishers send out half a book to their customers, don't they?

Stacia Kane said:

She makes me really sad. I checked out the excerpt on her website and it's quite good; she has a strong, likable voice, a good sense of pace, and the basics down. That book probably could have really gone somewhere if she hadn't fallen into PA's trap. Now no one aside from her friends and family will ever read it.

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You're right, it's definitely far and away better than the usual PA stuff. I'd read on, even with the little grammar and punctuation mistakes.

That's a shame. It's ones like that I wish I could take by the hand and lead to the other side, where they have a chance at making their work mean something.

Stacia Kane said:

Infomonster's reply:



"Oh, come on??" If you ordered a product online from any legitimate company, and it came broken and you called to complain, do you think the customer service person who spoke to you would say, "Oh, come on, quit acting helpless?"

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Almost as bad as the "hush, baby" reply that was given a few months ago.

Well, at least the thread wasn't deleted. But that makes it the seventh locked thread on the first page of the Authors' Lounge.

Over ten years ago when I first bought a computer of my own, I was so clueless that I plugged the modem into itself and then couldn't figure out why it wasn't connecting to the Internet. So I called Bell's customer service and they explained the problem. Maybe they groaned or laughed when I was off the line, but when I was on it, they were never less than professional and polite.

I wish I'd grabbed it. Did you see the one where the newbie is asking, "When will my book be available in stores so my friends can buy it? They're asking me and I don't know the answer. It's kind of embarrassing!" He thinks that PA is distributing thousands of copies to bookstores nationwide and that his friends will be able to buy it soon in stores. Really sad. I wonder if he thinks all publishers work that way?

I really wonder how many PA authors are unaware that their publisher is unique -- and not in a good way?

Oh, come on, no reason for helplessness.

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Yo! PA Lurkers!

I've asked my toughest, most in-your-face editors some pretty lame questions, and was never treated with any sort of condescending attitude. They were pros all the way.

Professionalism and respect--you won't find it at PA. Those don't cost a cent and they can't even get that right.

Yes, I know how thrilling it is when someone says they like your book, but PA is hoping to score at least a 300.00 profit from every writer they say that to--which is about 100 of you every week. Do the math.

If you are so needy that you're willing to blow 300.00 (by buying your own book) on praise from a stranger with ulterior motives, send your book to me; I'll praise you twice as much for only a hundred and I won't bother you with those buy-buy-buy mails.

I'll go Gil one better. You can pay me $50 and I'll praise you and your book!!!

I'll tell you you have pretty eyes for a buck.

And I'll give you nice foot massage (ladies only).

Quote:

My friend ordered my new book and when she recieved it, it was only part of my book. What should she do? She was disappointed and so was I. Please help.

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I'm surprised the answer wasn't a new special, "For today only, we will send the other half of you book for only "9.95! Use special code 1/2baked."

Miss Plum said:

. . . I really wonder how many PA authors are unaware that their publisher is unique -- and not in a good way?

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Not at all unique (meaning one-of-a-kind). Certainly not regarding bookstore distribution (in which they are typical of subsidy & vanity publishers and not unlike countless small commercial publishers with little or no trade distribution). But PA is certainly not a trade-oriented commercial publisher. It is not just that they have little (read: essentially no) success in getting books into bookstores. It is that doing so is not part of their method of operation, never has been, and never will be. If it were, they'd be doing business in a totally different way.

--Ken

My friend ordered my new book and when she recieved it, it was only part of my book. What should she do? She was disappointed and so was I. Please help.

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I found this on Janet Evanovich's wesbite in the FAQ section:

I have a mis-printed book / I'm missing pages / Someone else's book has taken over a chapter of your book. What do I do?

You can take the bad book to any large chain (Barnes and Noble, Borders, Books-A-Millions, etc.) and they will exchange it for you. You do not need a receipt to exchange a misprinted book.


Oh, wait. PA books AREN'T IN STORES so you have to mail them back to PA on your own dime. Too bad. I bet they send you a bill for the shipping on the replacement book.

Gravity said:

And I'll give you nice foot massage (ladies only).

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Sexist pig.
( )

Gillhoughly said:

I found this on Janet Evanovich's wesbite in the FAQ section:

I have a mis-printed book / I'm missing pages / Someone else's book has taken over a chapter of your book. What do I do?

You can take the bad book to any large chain (Barnes and Noble, Borders, Books-A-Millions, etc.) and they will exchange it for you. You do not need a receipt to exchange a misprinted book.


Oh, wait. PA books AREN'T IN STORES so you have to mail them back to PA on your own dime. Too bad. I bet they send you a bill for the shipping on the replacement book.

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And you'll also note the answer didn't start with "Hush, baby" or "Oh, come on". The answer was professional, concise, and helpful. Three things Infomonster never really is.

PA lurkers: isn't this what you'd expect your printer/publisher to be? Ask yourselves why they aren't. Why don't you receive helpful advice and answers to your questions? Why are your questions met with scorn and derision, outright ignored, or zapped to the cornfield if they don't feel like answering? Do you happen to notice members are getting banned for simply asking questions? Are you asking for too much? Are you asking too many questions? Is there a feeling of dread when you post a question that it could be your turn next to be sent to the cornfield or you'll be chided by Infomonster? Is this really how you'd expected to be treated when you signed your contract? Would you accept this sort of behavior from your credit card company or cell phone service provider if you contacted them? Is it really your fault Infomonster is being so shi...crappy with you?

BenPanced said:

PA lurkers: isn't this what you'd expect your printer/publisher to be?

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Some of them know what to expect by now.

We are doomed to wait and wait and hope our publisher throws us a bone. I noticed my book as well on amazon with the high price of 24 dollars and is out of stock. If they really wanted to make both of us some money they would have quickly solved this issue but instead we can only buy books from thier site. I have been in contact with two different barnes and nobles and niether of them are able to order it. Even when they contact PA to obtain copies of my book they get a voicemail with no return phonecall. I would love to have a comment from the infocenter on the issue but I only look for this post to be deleted.

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Bolding mine.

Unimportant said:

I'm more confused than ever.

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I bet the InfoMonster is, too.

Yo--Miranda, better have that job at the call center of a debt collection agency nailed down.

You'll get paid to be just as horrible to people as you are now, but with a lot less stress. More time for the horses, too!

Another brave soul dares question the PAperback/softcover confusion:

Was there a reason that those of us, whose softcovers were not going to be discontinued, were led to believe they would be, through the emails we received? I realize that the emails said things like "almost all" softcovers were being discontinued, but was there a reason we were not informed we wouldn't have to stock up on softcovers, or even that the PAperbacks were coming? Just curious.

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To which Infocenter replies:

Simple question, simple answer. The decision which softcovers to continue was not made until the morning we announced them.

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. . . and the thread is now locked.

In other words, we decided based on how many copies you bought.