You really want to pizen them gaters?
I might jus' haf t' recuse messef' from any Houndiques fer certain reasons I'll haf t' takes the 5th on...
<takes 5th out from under bar>
<wanders outside and starts sizin' up the front of the saloon for battlements, wanders back inside and pours self a pint of whiskey>
We'll be the only saloon in the west that looks like a castle. Now, if I can figure out how to make it dark and stormy all the time...