Should I revise my query letter?

onipar · Aug 3, 2009

Here's the deal. Recently I entered a query contest. In the contest, other writers (also looking for agents) and one agent assistant, critique the query. 90% of the comments for my query were negative, and the agent's assistant stated that she was "not hooked," and gave some feedback.

Here's where it gets complicated.

Thus far, I have only sent out 8 query letters. My stats are as follows:

4 rejections
2 pending
1 partial request
1 full manuscript request

My problem is, I'm not sure if I should revise my query. On the one hand, I've been given a lot of critical advice. On the other hand I've gotten 2 requests for materials out of 8 submissions.

Are these stats good? Or are two requests merely flukes, and I should be shooting for a higher percentage of requests?

My worry is that if I mess with the query, I might make it worse. And since I've had requests, my thinking was that it must be okay.

Thoughts? Advice?

Thanks so much.

ChaosTitan · Aug 3, 2009

A twenty-five percent request rate is very good. How do you feel about the feedback you received from the query contest? If it's advice you agree with and feel will help improve your query, go ahead and revise it. Not all agents will be hooked by the same query, so it's really a personal decision, and as you say, you have been getting requests.

And if you haven't yet posted it for critique in this board's Share Your Work section, I also advise you try that. We have some great query critters here.

suki · Aug 3, 2009

onipar said:
Here's the deal. Recently I entered a query contest. In the contest, other writers (also looking for agents) and one agent assistant, critique the query. 90% of the comments for my query were negative, and the agent's assistant stated that she was "not hooked," and gave some feedback.

Here's where it gets complicated.

Thus far, I have only sent out 8 query letters. My stats are as follows:

4 rejections
2 pending
1 partial request
1 full manuscript request

My problem is, I'm not sure if I should revise my query. On the one hand, I've been given a lot of critical advice. On the other hand I've gotten 2 requests for materials out of 8 submissions.

Are these stats good? Or are two requests merely flukes, and I should be shooting for a higher percentage of requests?

My worry is that if I mess with the query, I might make it worse. And since I've had requests, my thinking was that it must be okay.

Thoughts? Advice?

Thanks so much.

The request rate suggests the query isn't awful, but it's always good to consider the critiques of knowledgeable people.

Forget the other writers for now and focus on the agent's assistance. Did she just say she wasn't hooked? or did she point out defects or issues with the query?

If she just wasn't hooked, might be the story didn't appeal to her or the genre. But it might not be an indication the query needs revision.

But if she pointed out specific issues in the query that made it less effective, then you might want to post it in the SYW forum for some additional critique.

~suki

onipar · Aug 3, 2009

Thanks!

Yes, the agent's assistant went into detail about why she was not hooked.

Basically, she said that I didn't have enough plot summary, and I had too much bio/reasons the agent should pick it up. She said since the query lacked detail, she had no reason to care about the characters, and therefore was not hooked.

I don't necessarily disagree with her either. I thought she had good points. And really, it wouldn't be too hard to delete some of the other stuff and add more plot details.

I was just worried that messing with a query that has garnered some positive attention might be pushing my luck.

Thanks for the advice. I might post it in the thread you mentioned.

onipar · Aug 3, 2009

If you're interested, I posted the query for review:

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=3880255#post3880255

Danthia · Aug 3, 2009

It's not pushing your luck. If you got feedback that you agree with, go ahead and tweak it. There's something about your story that's appealing top people since you got some bites, but you might get even more if you tightened your query.

Go with your gut. If you think you should, do it. If not, don't. In the end yo have to do what feels right for you. You don't want to be second guessing yourself later, thinking "Oh if only I'd (rewritten/didn't rewrite) my query I could have sold my novel."

onipar · Aug 3, 2009

Thanks, Danthia. That's good advice.

scope · Aug 3, 2009

No one can argue with a 25% request for a full from a query. Frankly, I think you could improve your query a lot, but right now, except for a few obvious things pointed out by suki, why not basically leave it alone -- remember a 25% return thus far. You could send the same query to another group of 8 or more and see what it brings. If nothing, or if some negative responses, then you might want to consider an overhaul.

the addster · Aug 3, 2009

If seems pretty simple to me, do you care about having a query that 100% writers and one agents assistant find interesting or one that 25% of agents find interesting?

I know which one I'd pick.

onipar · Aug 4, 2009

Thanks, scope and addster. I've gotten some great comments over in the "share your work" thread about what changes I can make.

There seems to be some consensus on a few ideas, so I'll probably make those changes. thanks again everyone.

romancewriter · Aug 9, 2009

I have this theory about queries. I've just recently in the past month started querying agents. I queried only 2 in the first batch and got one rejection and one partial request. I've then queried about 6 or 7 over the past few weeks. I'm still waiting to hear from 4 of them and the other 2 or 3 were rejections. I'm really excited about this project so plan to keep going with it whatever the replies are, but as to my theory . . .

I've decided that instead of querying 20 or 30 agents right off the bat I'd wait to see what I kind of response I got from the initial query. If I don't get any more positive replies it's likely my query may need a little more work. Fixing a query is a whole lot easier than revising an entire ms, and it's not like the query is the one that's getting published.

It sounds like you've got a handle on where you're going with your query, Onipar so best of luck. I'd just thought I'd add my two cents.

onipar · Aug 12, 2009

Thank you, Romancewriter.

I agree with your theory, and though it's similar to what I did, I can't really take credit for doing it purposely. But I am glad I only sent a total of 8 out so far.

Like I've said, I'm pretty happy with the response so far, but I have that weird tickly feeling telling me that I shouldn't rest on my laurels with the hope that one of the two requests will lead to an offer. They probably won't.

And that means I have to send out more queries, so why not make them even better than the first batch.

Should I revise my query letter?

onipar

Horror Writer

ChaosTitan

Around

suki

Opinionated

onipar

Horror Writer

onipar

Horror Writer

Danthia

onipar

Horror Writer

scope

Commonsensical Maverick

the addster

onipar

Horror Writer

romancewriter

onipar

Horror Writer