Guaranteed Response Marketing, LLC

Cyia said:

Incidentally, it looks like the guy who came up with this brainchild made most of his money off books that tell people how easy it is to make money off of books.

Click to expand...

That reminds me of motivational speakers. Their books will start out describing their background: I dropped out of college for being drunk all the time and never going classes; then I went to work for my father, who fired me; then I opened a restaurant, which failed in three months; I tried prospecting for gold, but my burro died; I became a used car salesman, but couldn't sell a single car. Even my dog hated me.

Just when things were at their lowest and I was thinking about jumping from a bridge, I discovered THE WAY. I could become a motivational speaker and book writer! Their philosophy will generally consist of one part Dave Carnegie, one part Zig Ziglar, one part misunderstood religious concepts (Christian, Zen, and Tao seem to be popular), and one part their own cobbled-together theory of life, the universe, and everything.

They will write a 495-page book on THE WAY (most of the book will consist of telling you how great THE WAY is; with eight pages devoted to actually describing THE WAY). Actually, they will write five or six books, all essentially saying the same thing. If they're really successful, PBS will put their infomercials on for free during pledge drives and they can sell even more of their books, tapes, DVDs, and invite you to attend one of their Following THE WAY workshops where you will learn THE WAY. They might even buy TV time themselves to sell copies of What They Don't Want You to Know About THE WAY (available for only $29.97 plus $9.95 s&h).

Cyia said:

Got hit with this one on Twitter. It's more of an advertisement, so this may be the wrong place for it.

http://www.7dayebook.com/?hop=pompey123

According to the site:



Incidentally, it looks like the guy who came up with this brainchild made most of his money off books that tell people how easy it is to make money off of books.

ETA: and for a bonus, when you try to navigate OFF the page, it gives you a pop up prompt asking you to reconsider.

Click to expand...

I googled the domain on twitter (one of my seekrit tekneeks for sussing out crap) and found two tweeties touting this: "on marketing" and "marketer" (not their exact twitter names, but just so you know if you come across them). They're both following 1,900+ people, and amazingly enough they each have over 1,000 followers. And their tweets are all "affiliate" programs, "viral marketing," "quick income" and other things meant to attract the basic greed of anyone who thinks an MLM is a good way to make money.

One of the worst things ever done to "the Web browsing experience" was that brosers run that "javaschrit" and similar programming languages that allow websites to change the basic functions of a program such as "close window."

Yes, ...

The Intarwebz said:

"Your computer IS INFECTED! To fix this you must download and install this colon- virus-cleansing .exe file! If Windows asks you if you really want to run this, CLICK YES!!!"

Click to expand...

The preceding quote is sarcasm. If you ever actually see anything resembling that on your screen, TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER IMMEDIATELY!

alleycat said:

That reminds me of motivational speakers.
...
They might even buy TV time themselves to sell copies of What They Don't Want You to Know About THE WAY (available for only $29.97 plus $9.95 s&h).

Click to expand...

The actual title includes quote-marks as part of the title (see the thread about the site that discusses quote abuse for "more" examples):

What "They" Don't Want You to Know About THE WAY (available for only $29.97 plus $9.95 s&h).

Click to expand...

And I'm sure there's a new-age title out there like "Healing The Poverty That Binds You."

benbradley said:

The actual title includes quote-marks as part of the title (see the thread about the site that discusses quote abuse for "more" examples):
And I'm sure there's a new-age title out there like "Healing The Poverty That Binds You."

Click to expand...

Well, this is my book idea and I didn't use quotes around "they"! I didn't want to steal someone else's idea, you understand.

Actually, this reminds me of those not-a-pyramid pyramid schemes, where the products being sold (to avoid the legal definition of pyramid scheme fraud) are books with titles like "WHY THIS IS NOT A PYRAMID SCHEME!" and "THE EASY WAY TO MAKE MONEY ON THE WEB!"

You're supposed to buy book one from your "upline" and book two from your "upline's upline" and so on. If you get only ten [strike]suckers[/strike] downline salesmen and they get only ten salesmen each, you'll make 10 * $5 selling book one and 100 * $5 selling book two, and 1000 * $5 selling book three...