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Thread: Scenes from a hat!

  1. #6651
    Add Salt to Taste HistoryLvr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
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    California
    Posts
    346
    1.) What is ​that?
    The Voice of the Inka
    YA Historical Fiction w/Time Travel
    Done @ 74k words
    Still needs some work but coming along

  2. #6652
    "The Moving Finger writes..." M.S. Wiggins's Avatar
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    May 2014
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    Charleston, SC
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    2,551
    2) I'll measure yours if you measure mine.
    "...and, having writ; Moves on..."


    Our ticking seconds are antiquity somewhere and somewhen else.


    Write,
    Always.
    Even if it's shit.
    Shit on a page is organic.
    A blank page is
    Inert.
    MSusanneWiggins.com
    Twit Me

  3. #6653
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    3) Dude, you should really see a doctor about that. <points vaguely at other man's crotch, zips up and walks away before he can respond>


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  4. #6654
    4. Here. Let me help you with that.
    "If it took lying on one's back and making sounds like a panther in the desert, then one did it . . . " Pretty Maggie Moneyeyes - H. Ellison

    Fallen
    . Ok, it's been a long while since I've written any poetry, so be gentle.

    That place where posts dream of electric sheep.

  5. #6655
    5. Wow! Two! I was thinking of getting that modification as well.



    Reasons why 'bring your zoo animal to work day' never caught on.
    "If it took lying on one's back and making sounds like a panther in the desert, then one did it . . . " Pretty Maggie Moneyeyes - H. Ellison

    Fallen
    . Ok, it's been a long while since I've written any poetry, so be gentle.

    That place where posts dream of electric sheep.

  6. #6656
    nutruring tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Moose Creek, Maine
    Posts
    31,801
    1. Not enough bread
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/

    http://absolutelyunofficialpac12spor....blogspot.com/



    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown
    some people have a hard time keeping up with the vanguard ... of course most of those are called survivors - PSB

  7. #6657
    2. "Mr. Bubbles is usually such a gentle panther. I don't know what happened. I think maybe John looked at him funny."
    "If it took lying on one's back and making sounds like a panther in the desert, then one did it . . . " Pretty Maggie Moneyeyes - H. Ellison

    Fallen
    . Ok, it's been a long while since I've written any poetry, so be gentle.

    That place where posts dream of electric sheep.

  8. #6658
    "The Moving Finger writes..." M.S. Wiggins's Avatar
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    May 2014
    Location
    Charleston, SC
    Posts
    2,551
    3) Unbagged elephant poop.
    "...and, having writ; Moves on..."


    Our ticking seconds are antiquity somewhere and somewhen else.


    Write,
    Always.
    Even if it's shit.
    Shit on a page is organic.
    A blank page is
    Inert.
    MSusanneWiggins.com
    Twit Me

  9. #6659
    4) "Nooo! Cornish pixies do not count as zoo animals ... and tell them to leave the aquarium alone." *A crash followed by a rush of water and tittering can be heard.*
    "If it took lying on one's back and making sounds like a panther in the desert, then one did it . . . " Pretty Maggie Moneyeyes - H. Ellison

    Fallen
    . Ok, it's been a long while since I've written any poetry, so be gentle.

    That place where posts dream of electric sheep.

  10. #6660
    practical experience, FTW Asterism's Avatar
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    Dec 2015
    Posts
    107
    5. It's just as hard getting the giraffe out of the elevator as it was to get in.

    Signs your dealer might have sold you fake goods

  11. #6661
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Vancouver
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    1) The instructions on the side of your baggie read, "just add milk and fry in butter".


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  12. #6662
    2) The instructions for your new furniture is written in a language you've never heard of and the picture on the box is a Big Mac.
    Last edited by NathanBrazil; 10-06-2017 at 07:55 AM.
    "If it took lying on one's back and making sounds like a panther in the desert, then one did it . . . " Pretty Maggie Moneyeyes - H. Ellison

    Fallen
    . Ok, it's been a long while since I've written any poetry, so be gentle.

    That place where posts dream of electric sheep.

  13. #6663
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    3) Mixed in with the greens are scented wood chips and dried cranberries.


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  14. #6664
    practical experience, FTW Asterism's Avatar
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    Dec 2015
    Posts
    107
    4. The magic little pills say Zyrtec on one side. As a plus, your allergies have cleared up.

  15. #6665
    5. The tires of your new Lamborghini are FedExed a month after you purchase the car.


    Sure fire ways to get yourself booted during jury selection.
    "If it took lying on one's back and making sounds like a panther in the desert, then one did it . . . " Pretty Maggie Moneyeyes - H. Ellison

    Fallen
    . Ok, it's been a long while since I've written any poetry, so be gentle.

    That place where posts dream of electric sheep.

  16. #6666
    "The Moving Finger writes..." M.S. Wiggins's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Charleston, SC
    Posts
    2,551
    1) Announcing, whether asked or not, “I’m a crime fiction novelist. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of my imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales will be entirely coincidental.”
    "...and, having writ; Moves on..."


    Our ticking seconds are antiquity somewhere and somewhen else.


    Write,
    Always.
    Even if it's shit.
    Shit on a page is organic.
    A blank page is
    Inert.
    MSusanneWiggins.com
    Twit Me

  17. #6667
    2) I've seen a lot of shifty-eyed degenerates in my day and I can tell you that that guy *points to defendant* did the deed.
    - This is a property dispute sir.
    Ohhhh, right.
    "If it took lying on one's back and making sounds like a panther in the desert, then one did it . . . " Pretty Maggie Moneyeyes - H. Ellison

    Fallen
    . Ok, it's been a long while since I've written any poetry, so be gentle.

    That place where posts dream of electric sheep.

  18. #6668
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Vancouver
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    16,316
    3) Start rapping some Jay-Z

    "The year's '94 and my trunk is raw
    In my rear view mirror is the mother fuckin' law
    I got two choices y'all pull over the car or (hmmm)
    Bounce on the double put the pedal to the floor
    Now I ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jay.
    Plus i got a few dollars i can fight the case
    So I...pull over to the side of the road
    I heard "Son do you know why I'm stoppin' you for?"
    Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hats real low?
    Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know
    Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo'?"


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  19. #6669
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    4) In your best Al Pacino impression, "You're out of order! You're out of order! The whole trial is out of order! They're out of order! That man, that sick, crazy, depraved man, raped and beat that woman there, and he'd like to do it again, he told me so! It's just a show! It's a show! It's "Let's Make A Deal"! "Let's Make A Deal"! Hey Frank, you wanna make a deal? I got an insane judge who likes to beat the shit out of women! Whaddya wanna gimme Frank, three weeks probation?"


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  20. #6670
    5) *Raises hand.* Ok. I'm sensing bubbles of hostility surrounding me and that guy has starting at my ankle for the last half hour and that makes me feel very uncomfortable.


    Inappropriate ways for door-to-door salesman to sell their products.
    Last edited by NathanBrazil; 10-12-2017 at 04:24 AM.
    "If it took lying on one's back and making sounds like a panther in the desert, then one did it . . . " Pretty Maggie Moneyeyes - H. Ellison

    Fallen
    . Ok, it's been a long while since I've written any poetry, so be gentle.

    That place where posts dream of electric sheep.

  21. #6671
    practical experience, FTW Asterism's Avatar
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    Dec 2015
    Posts
    107
    1. *Dusting self off in fireplace* "You're door was locked. Glad I found this other way in."

  22. #6672
    practical experience, FTW Asterism's Avatar
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    Dec 2015
    Posts
    107
    2. Do you own a cat? Our tasers may fit in a purse, but just watch what they can do!

  23. #6673
    3. *Drive's Tahoe through the front door.* I know what you're saying - a door-to-door car salesman sounds crazy, but you never responded to any of our mailers, so here I am. Let me tell you, one ride in this baby, and you'll never want to drive another car.
    "If it took lying on one's back and making sounds like a panther in the desert, then one did it . . . " Pretty Maggie Moneyeyes - H. Ellison

    Fallen
    . Ok, it's been a long while since I've written any poetry, so be gentle.

    That place where posts dream of electric sheep.

  24. #6674
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Vancouver
    Posts
    16,316
    4) Sir, I can confirm from first hand experience that these vibrators make your wife squeal like no other.


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

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