Scenes from a hat!
- Thread starter Kaiser-Kun
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- Where the Moon can see me.
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- www.etsy.com
4) At least you're not in North Dakota with that drought. That's like, the opposite of a flood, did you know that? - Donald Trump (paraphrased (but not as much as you'd think!))
- Joined
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5. Hey, you mind if I grab A few loose boards from ... what's left of your house. Me and a few friends are making a bonfire, and it's not like you'll be needing these anymore.
Things you can say to your snake but not to your wife, husband, SO, ... or your favorite pet turtle.
Things you can say to your snake but not to your wife, husband, SO, ... or your favorite pet turtle.
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Nerdilydone
Banned
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1. Whoze zat. Woah - stop moving. I tole you - zere was a fire - no, wait - it was a woman and we were ... working *titters*
*Trips over the couch and lands face forward on the floor and immediately starts snoring.*
*Trips over the couch and lands face forward on the floor and immediately starts snoring.*
3. When your mother asked if I wanted a threesome with her daughter. I thought she meant you, but when I found out it was your sister, I couldn't say no, right?
4. Did you know the road is lava? I had to make my way home over rooftops and along telephone wires.
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5. I know this is going to be hard to believe, but a bear got loose in the office and I got mauled ... almost got mauled. He chased me into the janitor's closet where I hid, while he peeled open the vending machine and ate all the Twinkies.
Lies we should never tell our children.
Lies we should never tell our children.
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1) So you see, Suzie, on Christmas eve, Krampus comes around to all the bad boys and girls houses with his whips. He drags them into the snow and forces them to pull his sleigh from house to house until their feet are black and the skin starts to fall off their toes, so they know to be good next year.
But... you've been mostly good this year... right? He probably won't come here. Well, g'night, sleep well, kiddo.
But... you've been mostly good this year... right? He probably won't come here. Well, g'night, sleep well, kiddo.
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5. Whiskers went to live on a farm upstate. Yes, where Muffin went. And Smokey. And Lady...
Words you'd never hear spoken by the Queen of England
Words you'd never hear spoken by the Queen of England
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5) "The mexicans... they’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people."
Things you should never say to the guy next to you at the urinal.
Things you should never say to the guy next to you at the urinal.
