Beginning with Dying: Too Cliché?

Is it cliché or unwise to open my novel up with the death of the MC's mother? It's where the story truly begins as she is telling her daughter she is sorry for all the secrets she's kept from her regarding the identity of her father.

Of course, I'm making sure she's not saying all of this as she's taking her last breath because I know that is cliché and unrealistic (most people do not engage in such conversations as they are struggling in their last moments). When she does tell her daughter of the "secrets" it's very vague and it comes some hours or so before her death (I don't actually detail the death itself).

Anyway, should I stick with this or try and come up with another beginning? I want to jump right into the story and this is the only thing that's coming to mind.

RobJ said:

Just curious. What's the chronology of your story? Does it go forward from here, or do you end up with a lot of flashbacks?

Cheers,
Rob

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Forward. I don't believe I have any flashbacks. I don't like focusing too much on backstory; if part of the backstory needs to come out, I'll put it in a brief conversation.

maestrowork said:

Plenty of stories open with a death or funeral, etc. But yeah, it's a bit cliched.

But still, I ask this: Does your story really happen then? Is it the inciting incident to set your MC in motion to the point of no return?

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Hmm, well I'd say it's the start of the point of no return.

I could nix this chapter, but the next one that would be telling wouldn't even have the MC in it (chapter 2 introduces her father and him deciding that his daughter must leave town). But I was hesitant to start with that because it's not the MC.

I could also think about starting it when she arrives home to two strangers in her house, claiming her life is in danger. Perhaps that would be the better place to start it?

Devil Ledbetter said:

It isn't just that it's cliche, but the death of a character, or of a character's loved one is a lot less affecting in the first chapter when we don't know or care about any of them yet.

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I thought of that too.

Anyway, I always had questions about the beginning and the fact that it lacked the momentum it needs to start the rest of the book. Beginnings are always so difficult for me

I've got a few other ideas on how to start it.

One more thing: I know I can do anything as the author, but what about starting the book off with a secondary character--the character that pretty much sets the rest of the events in the book in motion? I'm sure other novels have started this way, but I can't think of any off the top of my head.

dawinsor said:

Beginnings are fiendishly hard to write.

Re starting with a secondary character, all I can give you is my reaction as a reader. When I start reading a new book, I'm like a newly hatched duckling, looking for someone to imprint on so I can follow them through the book. So if the first person I see or have as my POV turns out to be secondary, I'm usually a little disappointed. I've taken the trouble and made the effort to attach to them and now I have to change. I'm not saying it's impossible, just that I always feel a little hitch in doing it.

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That makes sense, too.

ARGH. I was then thinking I could make it a prologue, but eh...I know many agents and readers don't like prologues either.

Bah.

I think I'm not gonna stress on this yet until revision process. But it's going to keep haunting me, trying to think of a better beginning.

MumblingSage said:

I think this opening would hook me a lot more than the dying mother, no matter how important the mother might be. Could you start with this scene and then 'seed in' backstory (not through flashbacks, necessarily) as maestrowork did?

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I've pretty much nixed the death scene--it was already questionable anyway--and I'm thinking the arrival to the two strangers is a lot more of an attention grabber. It's not set in stone, but I now know that I'm getting rid of the death scene.

I'll probably put a momentary flashback here in when she's remembering what her mother said before she died. But even that's not certain.

leenakincaid said:

No. One of my novels opens up with a person being stabbed to death.

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Yes, that's definitely different, at least from mine.

The conflict would be more imminent if I made my current third chapter the beginning. The more I'm looking at it, the more it seems like that's the point of no return.

ellisnation said:

This is just an idea -
My own grandmother did not have the identity of her father revealed until after her mother died... it was in a letter. That might sound cliche, but its a true story! My point is you could just think of another way for your MC to aquire this information. Maybe even by rummaging through her just-deceased mother's paperwork or albums.

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Thanks, but her father's identity remains a secret from her for most of the book. He's in a position of power and he has purposely kept his distance from her and her mother to protect them.

However, at this point (the beginning of the story) he's decided to send her into hiding because the politcal climate has become volatile (and he's obviously an influential figure) and he doesn't want to chance her discovery (as the antagonists are looking for some way to gain leverage over him). So, the "new" beginning would be my MC coming home to two strangers sent by her father to take her into hiding--and she has no choice but to go with them.

But now I've come up with another question: should the reader also be unaware of his identity or not? This is told in third person subjective, with multiple POVs throughout the book, split into chapters (my MC for the bulk of it, but there's also the antagonist POV and her father's POV). I'm now thinking that if the reader knows his identity, it wouldn't be as compelling.