Purgatory's Pit of Doom

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Branwyn

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Purgatory's Pit of Doom
I thought I'd start a thread for those of us who have sunk below Purgatory. Those who are not waiting to sub, and don't have 3 or more fulls out there. For us groupies whose Rockstar agents have left us out in the cold without a second glance, while we hang on...by a thread. The flames of the Pit are burning our soles and our souls as we try to hold on to a glimmer of hope.
 
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SteveCordero

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In other words, we're in a place where we look up and say:

"Those guys in Purgatory up there really have it good."



EDITED TO ADD (9/2/11):

THE PIT LEXICON

PURGATORY’S PIT OF DOOM

Discovered by Branwyn in February 2009, Purgatory’s Pit of Doom (“The Pit”) is the Realm of Wallowing, the Dungeon of Purgatory. As Branwyn has said, “The flames of the Pit burn the soles and the souls of The Pit’s residents (“Pitizens”) as they try to hold on to a glimmer of Hope," symbolized by the Gutter Fly.

It is the place to vent, rant, and cry about everything, even while being catty, green-eyed or otherwise, but without being mean-spirited. A Pitizen will not criticize you for it, but someone from the sunshiny outside world above might. So be warned!!!

THE PANTHEON

Doom, Despair, and Hope are three immortal siblings. Doom and Despair are twin brothers who hate their sister Hope, who is a haughty bitch that thinks every cloud has a silver lining and every frown should be turned upside down. She is the ruling Queen of Purgatory. Her older brother Doom is the ruling King of The Pit and his brother Despair is the Hand of the King. Doom and Despair are in an eternal struggle with Hope for supremacy of the hearts and minds of writers everywhere.

GUTTER FLY

The symbol of Hope. The Gutter Fly appears like a Butterfly to Pitizens beguiled by Hope while in The Pit. Unfortunately, this leads a Pitizen to chase after the Gutter Fly and fall off a cliff.

MAGGOTS

The Pit’s only indigenous population. They blanket the floor of The Pit and are edible. Consumption in drink, liquid, powder, or tobacco-like form is quite soothing, by Pit standards. They can be made into Maggotinis (Pitizens’ drink of choice) and Maggoccinos, the Pitizen's choice of breakfast beverage. When times are particularly rough, they can be clumped into the tobacco-like form for the Maggot Bong, into powder form as Maggotcaine or purer form, Maggotcrack, or taken intravenously in liquid form as Maggotheroin. It’s not addictive, however, and acts as a self sedative.

HELLHOUNDS

Doom’s lupine pets. When something good happens to a Pitizen or she gets too sunshiny, Doom sends the Hellhounds after her. The Hellhounds hate sunshine and good news. When riled up it’s possible for another Pitizen to sacrifice herself and distract the hounds from attacking a happy Pitizen.

THE SOFA

Besides the Bar (where Maggots are turned into consumable form), the Sofa is the only other known furniture in The Pit. It’s where Pitizens hide under when times are particularly rough.

THE SUBBASEMENT/SUB-SUB-SUB PIT/HOLE

When hiding under the Sofa just ain’t good enough, Pitizens dig a hole in The Pit floor euphemistically called the “Subbasement” or the "Sub-sub-sub Pit."

THE WALLOWING HOUR

The Pit’s version of Happy Hour.

SUNSHINE ALLERGY

Due to residency in The Pit, Pitizens are generally allergic to sunshine. Sunshine hurts Pitizens’ eyes. They often slink back into The Pit after a foray into the outside world because the sunshine blinds them. Hope tells Pitizens that they can be rehabilitated and return to normal society, but Doom scoffs at that.

PITIZEN MOTTOS AND SAYINGS

“You may leave The Pit, but The Pit never leaves you” – a Pit truism.

“Why not my crap?” – The Pitizen’s lament, wondering that with so much crap in the world why isn’t their crap good enough?

“FU I ain’t done yet” – Typical Pitizen battle cry/response when the wallowing is temporarily over. Pitizens tend to be never-say-die pessimists.

“Welcome, but sorry to see you down here” – Standard Pitizen greeting to newcomers. Variations along these same lines is common.

“Powers that Shush™” – Those that advocate the censorship of criticism. Their actions may take the form of "BFFing™”, acting as the best friend forever in defense of someone, even a total stranger, for a perceived slight.

“Gonads of Insanity™” – A mythical Pitizen quality to daringly attempt something which the Pitizen knows there is a 99% chance it will cause her unspeakable pain.

“Enter The Pit at your own risk” – The warning to non Pitizens who enter The Pit without understanding the dark forces at work. Outsiders tend to come to The Pit thinking they can “cheer up” a Pitizien with notions such as “It only takes one!,” but it always backfires.

“We/I suck” – The common Pitizen belief.

“Why do I even bother/try/continue to do this?” – A rhetorical Pitizen question.

"Gallow's humor" – The only humor that Doom allows in The Pit

"Brightsiding™" – When a Pitizen brings sunshine, good news, hope, or general joy into The Pit. The Hellhounds tolerate some, but more than a smidgen is too much

"We are not hacks, monkeys, or losers" - Aspirational Pitizen quote.
 
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Calla Lily

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<-- Jonathan Edwards

One of the "best" lines from his famous "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" sermon:

Consider the fearful danger you are in: it is a great fumace of wrath, a wide and bottomless pit, full of the fire of wrath, that you are held over in the hand of that God, whose wrath is provoked and incensed as much against you, as against many of the damned in hell. You hang by a slender thread, with the flames of divine wrath flashing about it, and ready every moment to singe it, and burn it asunder; and you have no interest in any Mediator, and nothing to lay hold of to save yourself, nothing to keep off the flames of wrath, nothing of your own, nothing that you ever have done, nothing that you can do, to induce God to spare you one moment.

I don't have much use for Edwards' sermons, but he was a rockstar in his day. This one was delivered July 8, 1841.

Hmm... yep. Purgatory's Pit of Doom is a lot like this concept of hell. :e2teeth:
 

ink wench

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<-- Jonathan Edwards

One of the "best" lines from his famous "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" sermon:



I don't have much use for Edwards' sermons, but he was a rockstar in his day. This one was delivered July 8, 1841.

Hmm... yep. Purgatory's Pit of Doom is a lot like this concept of hell. :e2teeth:
I had a friend in grad school who loved writing about Jonathan Edwards.

I could get comfy down here. I'm always cold anyway. And if there's devil's food cake and alcohol....
 

firedrake

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Count me in. I was never one for turning away cake and booze.

Not so much as a whisper in my inbox. Will have to take a lighter to the tumbleweeds.

Are UK agents just slower?
 

Branwyn

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I'm beginning to think most are in a coma.

Yes, ink, it's always toasty warm down here. I like to burn all my snail mail rejections here.

Just counted--I have approx 50 + unanswered queries out there.
 
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firedrake

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Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends, we're so glad you can attend come inside, come inside...

oooh, now that brings back some memories!
 

justinai

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Ha, Branwyn, I was just telling my husband there should be a place lower than Purgatory the other day.

Seriously, I have like twenty-five unanswered queries all sent out since Jan.

I'm starting to think every agent has me on filter.
 

czjaba

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Well, I've written 4 books over the last 3 years and sent out literally hundreds and hundreds of queries. (At least a hundred per book and more for a couple of them). I've had 2 partial requests and 1 of those rejected by form, the other turned into a full request, then I found AW and realized the person wasn't even an agent and publishers he was a consultant with had closed up shop.
So, I think I fit right in here. I'd LOVE to have partials and fulls out...And I will soon. But I like to have a place to come and hang my head, cozy up on the couch with a nice big chunk of devil's food cake (no fork or plate necessary) and realize I'm not the only one who goes through various shades of emotion in this process. Some days I love my work. Other days, I wonder why the hell do I waste my time.

Okay, I'm done now. Interruption over, pass the cake, please, and carry on --
 

Branwyn

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Ask and ye shall receive...Justinai.

My 50 + was just for this recent book. Yeah, I'm in the hundreds too, czjaba.

I'm really having a hard time getting motivated. I'm truly stuck in the "why bother," hole.
 

Teriann

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I'm so in...total lack of motivation and in the dumps. But thank goodness for cake.

Stopped in to hand out cold drinks and condolences. I've been there before (thinking why bother). I told my husband not long ago that maybe I should go back to painting (I took a lot of art in college) but then I thought about it and said, "Yeah, but then I'd probably get crazy over painting -- trying to get into certain galleries, etc." He laughed.

One famous writer (forget who) said that he refused to give up long after any normal person would give up. That's how I feel too. Any normal person would have given up a long time ago, but here I am, plugging along . . .

Back to my piles of the kind of work which pays bills . . .
 

Karen Duvall

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I've been there too, guys, and it's not a fun place to hang. I stopped writing for a while and just tinkered with old stuff, kept apprised of what was happening in the publishing industry, and maintained my memberships with a couple of writers' groups. So I still felt like I was a part of things, just not actively involved, you know? And for me, the breather did me good. Not once did I say "I quit!" But I did take a break. And it did me a world of good.
 
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