...speaking of "spades," perhaps it is time to bury the hatchet here for today and resume tomorrow. No point discussing methods of critique if we ain't writing ;-)
*now where's that ice pack*
*now where's that ice pack*
tone is not about content. It is solely about delivery. It is not something extra you put into a critique and costs no extra effort to do, once you've done it several times. It's really not much different than modulating ones voice when speaking to someone in meatspace. That's all. Why make a critique harder on a writer than it already is if all that needs to be done is a simple adjustment in tone. I am not refering to anyone specific in this thread or site, but just in general, to be clear.
...speaking of "spades," perhaps it is time to bury the hatchet here for today and resume tomorrow. No point discussing methods of critique if we ain't writing ;-)
*now where's that ice pack*
Yeah. And if I told Neuro I liked his pants he'd say, Thank ye. But if I told Scarlet I liked her pants she'd rip my face off.Tone is indeed subjective in this context. What you find offensive I find to be absolutely not so. There is not table or experimental test we can do to find out what is offensive or not. There is no common agreement on what words or word combinations are offensive.
As an example that geography can be one factor in this:
If I say I want to pat Caro's fanny, I'll probably get my face flapped.
If I say I want to pat Scarlet's fanny, I'll likely get my face ripped off.
fanny in the U.S. = butt
fanny in the U.K. (at least the parts I've lived in) = women's genitalia
Originally Posted by Karen Duvall View Post
Branded with a gargoyle's curse, a modern day knight is forced to steal enchanted artifacts for her master, or else become a monster like the one tattooed on her neck. Freedom is hers if she kills the gargoyle that cursed her, unless it kills her first.
Why do I care that she's been stealing artifacts if killing the gargoyle is the solution to her problem? For that matter, what makes her a knight --there's nothing particularly knightly, modern or otherwise, about stealing artifacts.
My point is, it looks like you've got about sixteen words of story and the rest is backstory. I don't care (or even understand) her tattoo. I don't care about her career in larceny. I get her story goal in the last sentence...so what's standing in her way? What's the conflict?
Hope this helps!
Wee hee! I found it! Check out this awesome crit:
That was my sucky hook above, which has since been fixed. Here's the critters remarks:
Pretty great, huh? No nonsense, to the point, extremely helpful. Tone? Meh. It works for me.
before closing off,
I just wanted to say that though I disagree with you on the subject of tone, and a number of other things, and personally wouldn't mind sticking a match under some of your feet and lighting it, at this point in time, I do have a lot of respect for you as writers, having read some of your posted stuff, and you're insightful critiques, and remarks in other forums on this site, just to let you know. (Not kissing up here, I swear, well maybe just a little ;-) But honestly, I do feel as such. Yer a motely group of thugs, but likeable, odd to say. Cheers.