Worst/most bizarre/useless/tacky "White Elephant" gifts...

Just be glad you're not the guy who ended up with Hello Kitty in a pink tutu after a Secret Santa gift exchange at work. (He swapped me for a pen and pencil set, though, so all was good.)

I'm just glad I didn't end up with a Chia Pet...

An ex of mine won the "worst gift of all time" award.

On a visit home to see his parents, he'd heard that a neighbor couple, not at all tech-savvy, were having trouble setting up the computer they'd bought for their son. R realized this would be simple for him and so volunteered to do it. He proceeded to handle all this in about 20 minutes, with the couple thanking him profusely the whole time. While this was going on, R happened to notice one of the decorations in their son's room -- carved wooden bears that seemed to be in a marching band -- and said something like, "Hey, that's cute." It was an idle comment, no more.

Well, two months later, he comes back to his parents' for Christmas and is told that the neighbor couple bought him something for the holidays as a way of saying thanks for setting up the computer. R said they didn't need to do that but went over to graciously accept it. They handed him a box and said, "We LOOKED and LOOKED until we found EXACTLY the right thing!" They were so psyched. So he opened it up right there to find --

A mariachi band of frogs. Real, dead, taxidermied frogs, which had been posed with tiny musical instruments and little serapes and sombreros, so that forever in death they would appear to sing the songs of old Mexico.

When he told me this story, I asked him what he managed to say when he opened the box. R apparently managed to go, "Wow!" I think that is about the best save possible in that situation.

He kept them at his house but would not touch them except with a paper towel.

I got a bottle of wine and a loaf of bread at a housewarming. I don't drink wine nor do I eat regular bread.

And every year my MIL gets me and/ or Hubby a pocket sized calender. Neither of us use them nor have we any interest in them. We keep telling her...

ClaudiaGray said:

A mariachi band of frogs. Real, dead, taxidermied frogs, which had been posed with tiny musical instruments and little serapes and sombreros, so that forever in death they would appear to sing the songs of old Mexico.....

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That's one of those "Oh, thank you, but you shouldn't have - no, you really, REALLY shouldn't have!" kind of moments....

I got a regifted orniment from my husband's sister. At least change the bag if you regift.

It's not actually a White Elephant gift, but a friend's mother in law once gave him one of those refillable "souvenir" plastic cups you get when you buy a drink at the stadium as a Christmas gift. It still had remnants of her drink in the bottom, but it was wrapped and ribboned.

ClaudiaGray said:

They handed him a box and said, "We LOOKED and LOOKED until we found EXACTLY the right thing!" They were so psyched. So he opened it up right there to find --

A mariachi band of frogs. Real, dead, taxidermied frogs, which had been posed with tiny musical instruments and little serapes and sombreros, so that forever in death they would appear to sing the songs of old Mexico.

Click to expand...

BTW, Claudia, you owe me a new monitor...

When I first read the Harry Potter, series, I thought that JK was writing fiction when she described some of the gifts the Dursleys gave Harry for Christmas. Way, way out there fiction.

Now I'm not so sure...

I can honestly say that while I've been given (and given) gifts that haven't quite hit the mark, I've never had any experiences of taxidermied frogs or mugs with the remains of the drink still in the bottom.

My brother used to give family members packs of toothpicks and Q-tips at Christmas.

ClaudiaGray said:

A mariachi band of frogs. Real, dead, taxidermied frogs, which had been posed with tiny musical instruments and little serapes and sombreros, so that forever in death they would appear to sing the songs of old Mexico.

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That is so coooool! I want one! That's got to be so cute. Where do I get it? I'd love it sitting behind my bar.

My old office had a couple things that kept getting recycled. Among them:

- a teddy bear cookie jar - he's wearing overalls
- a broken Tickle Me Elmo doll (doesn't... ugh... tickle)
- a 3-pack of men's thongs
- old CDs someone grabbed of their shelf

Good times.

Candles.
It seems like people will give a candle if they don't know what else to give, and I sure do hate getting candles. I would rather a bar of soap, a pack of napkins, a pack of pens, a can opener, etc. Give me something that I can use, something that has a real purpose other than wafting its smell into the air while being a fire hazard.

My former step family would have a "Cajun Xmas" party where they would trade gifts, soft of like the white elephant thing. The lamest gift, I always felt, was the scratch-off lottery tickets, because they never materialized into anything other than a piece of trash.


An old toothbrush would be a pretty bad gift...

The worst present I personally bought to give another was one for my younger brother. It was a stuffed baby alligator, standing up on a tiny surfboard, arms out to his side and wearing flowered trunks. To make him uber-cool I hung a small Maltese cross from his neck before wrapping him up. It was 1966, I was fourteen and my brother was nine. He thought it was the coolest thing ever and I was quite proud of myself.

Years later, of course, we both came to our senses.

Sadly, this was after the little gator had quite literally fallen to pieces, due to somebody's poor, mad taxidermy skilz.

A used clock that didn't work.

Over the years my MIL has given me: a pink towel with my husband's (not my) initials on it (after 30 years' marriage, doesn't she know my name yet?), an alabaster bunch of grapes, a ceramic birdcage that would only have prevented a large vulture from esaping; and once, pulling out all the stops, a dishcloth!

maestrowork said:

Or the African fertility woman statue.

Or the pair of fruity boxers, size XL.

I need new friends.

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It wasn't a gift to ME, but my boss at my previous office received an African fertility statue (about 3 feet tall with a huge pregnant belly & a very scary looking face) from her brother since he had vacationed in Africa that year. I made the mistake of saying it was neat and at least he supported the local economy since it was made by villagers in a very tiny community... so they put it by my desk. The kicker was, I was pregnant so every person who came in had to comment about it and asked if it had worked for me! Nice

The worst gift you have received. ever

What is it?

What is the worst one you've gotten- seasonal or non. What's the worst?


For me, a tube of toothpaste when I was 12. Not a stocking stuffer or anything like that. One of 4 wrapped gifts for me under the tree. This was compounded by my step-sibling's gifts of new bicycles and stereos.

And I got toothpaste.


What's your worst gift?

Um...don't think I can top getting toothpaste wrapped, under the tree.

But...anything that was a 'kit'. I remember getting a soap making kit recently. Uh, yeah. I can buy a damned bar at the store.

ETA: I.Don't.Do.Crafts.

To me, a trinket is the worst kind of gift. I would rather not get a present than get a piece of crap, like a trinket.

If I want a soap-on-a-rope, tray of cheap, chalky make-up, or pack of Bic pens, trust me, I'll buy it myself.

There are so many other types of things that can be given. I don't understand why someone would pick a trinket as a gift. What's wrong with a card, a box of candy, or a scarf?