Critique group woes

Karen, I'm in a similar boat, and I really don't know what to do, either.

I've been in a critique group for the last two years, and they've been very helpful. I couldn't have gotten better without them, and I know that they've helped me grow as a writer. But...

There are a couple of people in the group that have started to criticize grammar issues that I know for a fact are wrong. (I kinda tend to be the group grammar Nazi, without trying to....they're advocating for "said-bookisms" and all kinds of things that all of us should know better about). They've started arguing with me on whether I can mention name brands in a contemporary fantasy (um, I'm a lawyer. I went to a law school with a speciality in intellectual property, which includes trademark and copyright law. I know this stuff.) And now they've started ignoring critiques with the response that Tolkkien and Jordan have done it so it's okay for them to do it. I'm not saying I'm perfect, or that I'm better, but I've started to dread hearing them critique my stuff, and even dreading reading theirs.

I'm ready to pull out my hair. Or stab myself in the eyes with sharpened chopsticks.

I'm the only one submitting material professionally in the group right now. I've been reading their critique notes like you do...sometimes they do have a nugget of something that no one else has caught, so I hate to ignore their suggestions when they do spend considerable time reading and making notes, and the rest of the group doesn't make me as nuts as these members. I want feedback, but I don't want to spend my time for critique explaining case law and trademark issues, or pulling out Strunk and White all the time to defend myself.

On the other hand, the other members really do give insightful feedback.

So let me turn the question around and continue with the discussion...how do you know when it's time to find a new critique group and move on?

In the writing group I attend (which is mostly genre-based - SF, fantasy, horror, crime) there is someone who very clearly cannot stand my writing. In nearly six years I don't think he's said a kind word about anything I've workshopped there. It's not a dislike of me personally (I don't think), but some combination of subject matter, writing style and sensibility clearly rubs him up the wrong way. Oh and he did describe my writing as being like that of "a mad lesbian feminist" once.

I am a published short-fiction writer so I don't think it's just because I'm a crap writer. It's just that there are people in that group who are obviously far more in tune with what I'm doing than he is. (One of them is a perfectly sane bisexual feminist, by the way. )

My advice is to be polite, listen to what she says (as anyone can point out an inconsistency or a factual error) but basically ignore it unless other people say the same thing.

My group is strongly fantasy oriented; there's only one person writing anything other than fantasy, but no one is writing the same type of fantasy. We're all over the board. I'm thinking you're right; hang on with these guys and look around for another group in the meantime.

I'm pressed for time, so I didn't have a chance to read through all the comments, but maybe you could get the moderator of the group to go over the rules and etiquette in a general sense, so maybe she can glean some hints from there. Yanno, sort of a "Please don't feel obligated to read a genre you have no interest in" comment.