The Good: You are a liberated woman.
The Bad: You're married to the world's biggest chauvinist.
The Ugly: Now you want a divorce, but you live in California, and HE'S asking for half.
The Good: You have a big shot attorney.
The Bad: Who was just videotaped propositioning a hooker.
The Ugly: Turns out the chauvinism was just an act to hide the transvestite hobby, and now you know how he could afford that flashy new car he came home with last week.
The Good: I have the day off tomorrow.
The Bad: My cousin Charlie and his wife will arrive from out of town and expect me to spend the day taking care of their ten kids.
The Good: I have the day off tomorrow.
The Bad: My cousin Charlie and his wife will arrive from out of town and expect me to spend the day taking care of their ten kids.
The Ugly: My six kids will love the company.
The Good: I'm going to see the new Bond movie Quantum of Solace
The Good: I'm going to see the new Bond movie Quantum of Solace
The Bad: The only date you can get is with Creepy Eddie down the street.
The Ugly: You're desperate so you go with him.
The Good: You won a trip to Alaska on Norwegian Cruise Lines.
The Good: You won a trip to Alaska on Norwegian Cruise Lines.
The Bad: ....in January.
The Ugly: Your host Sara Palin is waiting with her Moose Chili. It would be rude not to partake.
The Good: I'm going to be an airline pilot when I grow up
The Good: I'm going to be an airline pilot when I grow up
The Bad: You're already more than 60, the airlines' retirement age.
The Ugly: You still want to fly so you decide to become a flight attendant instead but you don't fit into the uniforms.
The Good: Your little kitten is so sweet and cute!
The Good: Your little kitten is so sweet and cute!
The Bad: It has rabies.
The Ugly: At this moment, it's hanging from your ass by its needle-sharp teeth.
The Good: I love beef stew!
The Bad: Your cholesterol is through the roof and your doctor says you can no longer have red meat, in any form.
The Ugly: You turn over a new leaf and now you really enjoy tofu stew.
The Good: Thanksgiving is just around the corner
The Bad: Your sister and her family are coming for dinner, and you can't stand your brother-in-law.
The Ugly: He doesn't like turkey
The Good: My new dog has won Best in Show
The Bad: It has really gone to his head and he's decided to run for office.
The Ugly: He and his friends are on the way to the White House in the Million Dog March.
The Good: It's time to go home!
The Bad: Home is 4,000 miles away
The Ugly: You're in Alaska, and to get home you have to get past dozens of hunters who think you're a moose.
The Good: It's Christmas morning, and you're about to see what Santa brought!
The Good: It's Christmas morning, and you're about to see what Santa brought!
The Bad: You were robbed last night, they even took the Christmas tree.
The Ugly: The thieves left a note under the now empty cookie plate you left on the mantle for Santa, 'See you next year!'
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