What's the worst song ever?

Another one that bugs me is "One Tin Soldier" by Coven. It just such a hit you over the head message. At least to me.

Another thread reminded me of "Dance Me to the End of Love" by Leonard Cohen. My pancreas goes into overdrive whenever I hear it.

Anything by Donnie and Marie?
How about Vanilla Ice?
Or Zamfir? Or Billy Ray Cyrus???

In terms of very recent top 40, I submit that that guy bawling about how once he was seven years old is the very worst song of the summer, if not one of the worst songs ever.

Photograph by Nickelback?

("Reports show that since 1991, the number of cases people have been diagnosed with depression has increased by 50%. Also, Nickelback released their first album in 1991. Just sayin'.")

Anything by Styx. The lead singer's voice could cut cheese at fifty paces.

FEELINGS by Morris Albert, hands down, baby

Feelings, nothing more than feelings,
Trying to forget my feelings of love.
Teardrops rolling down on my face,
Trying to forget my feelings of love.

Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it.
I wish I've never met you, girl; you'll never come again.

Feelings, wo-o-o feelings,
Wo-o-o, feel you again in my arms.

Feelings, feelings like I've never lost you
And feelings like I've never have you again in my heart.

Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it.
I wish I've never met you, girl; you'll never come again.

Feelings, feelings like I've never lost you
And feelings like I've never have you again in my life.

Feelings...

Feelings, wo-o-o feelings,
Wo-o-o, feelings again in my arms.
Feelings

Feelings, wo-o-o feelings,
Wo-o-o, feelings again in my arms.
Feelings...

Julie Andrews said that song is too difficult to sing since it has no meaning behind it.

*meow!*

Objectively, the Worst Song Ever is Macarthur Park

But personally, ABBA's Dancing Queen is the worst thing I've ever heard. it's on my work's playlist. lethally bad.

That diarrhea song they kept repeating when I was in the 4th grade. I broke up with someone just for uttering the first line of it with the intention of making me laugh.

It has to be MTC - S3RL..

MTC stands for Masturbate To Cartoons.
Nuff' said, enjoy the listen on your own risk.
it's utter garbage.

slcboston said:

"It's a small world, after all" ...

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Yep. That's it. My entire body just shook in terror.

any song that uses the storyline.... "i went to my lovers house....i saw her/his shadow on the shade in the window (or someone elses car in their driveway)...i got so jealous and heartbroken. oh wait....i'm on the wrong street and that's the wrong house. so i rushed right over to the right street/house and all was ok. now i'm the shadow in the window with my lover!" it just really....annoys me....LOL

or there's another song...an oldies tune... about how the guy sings about how he used to eat bread and butter or toast and jam with his lover. but then one day he found his lover eating chicken and dumplings with another man....LOL so no more bread/butter or toast/jam

The Crazy Frog song.

Seriously. I would take Eiffel 65's "Blue", along with the Venga Boys "Up and Down" and Cognoscenti vs. Intelligentsia's "The Hamster Song", and listen to them interspersed with Justin Bieber's greatest hits, over that stupid Crazy Frog rubbish.

CindyGirl said:

Another one that bugs me is "One Tin Soldier" by Coven. It just such a hit you over the head message. At least to me.

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Given that it was initially created as an anti-war song (Coven's version is a cover), I think the hit-over-the-head message is understandable, and no less in-your-face than Lennon's "Imagine" or Band-Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas?" I actually quite like the lyrics in One Tin Soldier; Me First and the Gimme Gimmes do a pretty charged punk-pop cover, too.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and nominate...

American Pie by Don McLean.

I hear that intro and I can't break the radio fast enough. Look. I don't mind long songs. One of my favorite dance remixes of Don't Leave Me This Way by Communards is 13 minutes long. It has four distinct sections. Another is the album version of the classic Autobahn by Kraftwerk. It clocks in at around 22 minutes but this is a symphonic suite, also having at least four different variations on the theme. American Pie has a verse and a chorus. That's. IT. For almost five minutes, there's very little variation in the tune. Verse, chorus, verse, chorus, verse, chorus, verse, chorus, repeat until dead. And the lyrics...are poo. I thought they were poo before I found out the story behind the song and I still think they're poo.

And don't get me started on Billy Joel's Piano Man. I'm having enough issues with my blood pressure tonight as it is. (HINT: WORSE THAN POO)

Cobalt Jade said:

Anything by Styx. The lead singer's voice could cut cheese at fifty paces.

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I know this is a quote from an old post, but I just could not resist agreeing. The moment I hear Dennis DeYoung's voice I want to flatten the radio with my forehead. And that doesn't really say anything about the songs themselves from Styx, which are universally atrocious.

caw

BenPanced said:

I'm going to go out on a limb here and nominate...

American Pie by Don McLean.

I hear that intro and I can't break the radio fast enough. Look. I don't mind long songs. One of my favorite dance remixes of Don't Leave Me This Way by Communards is 13 minutes long. It has four distinct sections. Another is the album version of the classic Autobahn by Kraftwerk. It clocks in at around 22 minutes but this is a symphonic suite, also having at least four different variations on the theme. American Pie has a verse and a chorus. That's. IT. For almost five minutes, there's very little variation in the tune. Verse, chorus, verse, chorus, verse, chorus, verse, chorus, repeat until dead. And the lyrics...are poo. I thought they were poo before I found out the story behind the song and I still think they're poo.

And don't get me started on Billy Joel's Piano Man. I'm having enough issues with my blood pressure tonight as it is. (HINT: WORSE THAN POO)

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Oh my, we might have to not be friends now ever - throwing two of my favorite road trip songs under the bus in one post like that. Yes, they're long, but good sing along songs that help pass the time when driving from:

Ohio - Colorado
SC - Colorado
NY - Colorado
And soon to be Colorado - Alaska - Colorado!

That said, I'd agree with most of this 14 page thread I just now spent 30 minutes sifting through and shuddering at!

The friggin Barney Dinosaur song for sure is an all time cringe for me.

My brother used to listen to a song called 'Shoot the Zombies' (Songs to Wear Pants To.) It's like nails on freaking chalkboard.

Limp Bizkit's cover of George Michael's "Faith" is a real contender, but, I'm of the opinion that all music sounds good if you put in the right context, and there has been a time when I have gone unto such wanton decadence listening to contemporary music that could be characterized as "Baroque" that such a palette cleanser really did do the trick.

They're all good, man. There is no such thing as a bad song.

thewonder said:

They're all good, man. There is no such thing as a bad song.

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Mmmmm - are we sure about that? I'm thinking of an oft-played pop-song back in the 70s that rhymed "conquer" with "bonk her". (It was very sincerely meant and full of teen pain.)

I'm unsure of the song that you're referring to, but, when it comes to songs that are inherently problematic, I am even willing to say that I would prefer for people to invest their energy in music than in whatever it is that they would do otherwise.

I once happened upon a show by a debatably Neo-Fascist Hardcore Punk act who also happened to have been using their band as a kind of informal ratline that was generally detrimental to my person. I watched this guy scream face to face with me in the audience in my Smashing Pumpkins, of all things, t-shirt, and, thought, y'know, if this is all that you're going to do than I'm pretty glad that I haven't been attacked in the street by now. At the time, if I'm really honest with myself, I'd have to say that it sounded pretty good. They sort of organize that way, and, so, it's always kind of a problem, but, if some aggressive male of some sort just so happens to have to either troll or thrash so as to let out whatever latent teenage angst has been left within them, I say that it's better than whatever else they'd find themselves up to, if not occasionally even resultant in somewhat good art.

In a less charged example, I once saw a band play live with a Marshall headstock built to be placed atop a full-sized Marshall amp awkwardly positioned on top of a small Peavy practice amp. That band, though, by their clear hand-me-down equipment, certainly didn't encapsulate any kind of cool, but was also kind of awesome due to their near total disregard for such notions.

thewonder said:

I would prefer for people to invest their energy in music than in whatever it is that they would do otherwise.

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I dunno - he might have turned into an excellent chef, or shadow-boxer, or showman or something, if someone had just had the foresight to hide his guitar.

Perhaps, y'know? It's difficult to say now because of the way in which contemporary music, particularly Punk, has developed. In a way, I feel like it goes back to Surf. Surf was kind of sexist genre, which posed all sorts of predicaments, but I can't help but surmise that, without their stupid cool thing to do, those dudes ended up in gangs, shooting guns, or throwing darts at lude pictures of women.

In a way, Surf was a kind of chauvinist godsend. They didn't say anything at all and played virtuosic music that was thought to have been generally appealing. It's a far cry from Hardcore Punk, that's for sure.

I don't know. If people want to play music, then, they're just going to. Even Tony Wakeford more or less came back around. I don't know. It's just one of those things, I guess.

slcboston said:

wow... this is a tough one. Worst song *ever*? Because that's rather all inclusive. Even worst pop song ever is a tough call (the entire Celine Dion catalogue alone would make for tough choosing). Still...

"It's a small world, after all" which is a close tie with the theme song from "Barney the Purple Dinosaur"

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We were at Disney World waiting to get out of the Small World ride. Hearing that song over and over for at least ten minutes? Yeah, I'll agree with this choice every time!