Why do guys have to be such jerks?
*taking a deep breath before plunging in*
We're not. Really.
(Nor do we all discuss cars. If I had to be self-reliant for car maintenance, I'd own a horse.
I try not to comment here bcs this thread is for the girls, and you ought to have your own place. So should the guys. But I'm not starting a "boylie" thread. "Boyo" maybe..)
Up front, let me say this: All prior advice given has been spot-on and correct. This guy is, truly, one of the jerks. But we're hardly all like that.
Nor is this sort of behavior limited to men. I've known women who played variations of this game (yes, with me, but other guy friends have had it happen to them). It's juvenile, it's self-centered, it's often down-right cruel. It's not cause to label an entire gender.
Two things may have happened here, either separately or in combination. First, you just got unlucky and got one of the bad ones. They're out there, they give the rest of us - male or female - a bad name, and lead to conversations like this one, where in mostly single-gender groups we stand around, commiserate with the wounded party, and bash the offender. Rightly so, if that's all that happened.
Everyone seems to date one of these at least once. Take heart that you've filled your quota early. Which brings me to the second scenario:
If this becomes a pattern, where you find yourself consistently in relationships with the wrong kind of guys, then it might be time to sit back and take stock of what it is you look for in a relationship. *
I speak from experience, as someone who did consistently make the wrong choices.* This is not an argument saying you deserved it, because that's not an argument that can be made. No one deserves to be treated like this. But sometimes, for whatever reason, we ignore warning signs, or, worse yet, take what ought to be warning signs as reasons to plunge in.
So if this keeps happening, relationship after relationship, then simply blaming the other gender isn't going to solve anything. Nor, unfortunately, does recognizing the problem always fix it. (Again, speaking from experience.)
And when bad people and bad judgement collide... it makes the Titanic look like a paper boat in a bathtub.
Don't take this guy's call. Don't let him get to you. Ignore him. But take something from this, learn from it. Because we're not all jerks, really, and it would be a shame to let one example color how you see the rest of us.
