The Closer I Get, the Less I Seem to Want It

Elaine Margarett · May 28, 2008

Universal problem? A common hurdle to jump before selling? Or am I running out of steam?

I've been working (Ha, that's a laugh!) on my WIP for an obscene amount of time. I know the story. It's in my head. I'm at the 3/4 mark. I can't get myself excited about it. I did the unthinkable and wrote a query and sent out a few submissions hoping it would light a fire under me. I should mention I've had no problem finishing both novellas and 110k novels in the past, to the point I was writing five to ten pages a day. Now, pffft.

I've gotten requests, and a request for revisions, so I stopped submitting (I know, I shouldn't have done that; I'm sorry. But I only sent a few out.) Now I can't get in gear!

Before, I blamed my job for sucking the soul out of my creativity; but I've been layed off (between contracts) since January, and nothing. My mom passed away (after a long illness so it was a blessing) in January, and my husband's grandmother, who was truly a mother to him passed away in February, so these events may be a factor. I don't have to go back to my job if I don't want to; and I probably won't so it shouldn't be the issue.

I thought it was ADD so I saw my doctor and she prescribed something. She also thought it could be PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) but I already had addressed my issues with work by going part-time and no longer photographing personal PE; only shipments of crates and containers which makes a big difference; not so "up close and personal."

I've never been this close. I know what I'm working on has real market potential. But where's my fire? Could it be my (ahem) age? I've been starting with those fun hormonal changes; but I think I'm handling that pretty well. <g!>

So what's my problem?

Elaine,
who really does want this!

Namatu · May 28, 2008

Elaine Margarett said:
Before, I blamed my job for sucking the soul out of my creativity; but I've been layed off (between contracts) since January, and nothing. My mom passed away (after a long illness so it was a blessing) in January, and my husband's grandmother, who was truly a mother to him passed away in February, so these events may be a factor.

They are a factor. I wrote through many difficult and long-term crappy life situations, but I took no joy in what I wrote. I had no motivation. It was rote discipline. Then everything changed. It's made a huge difference in my writing. Even if you didn't like your creativity-sucking job, getting layed off is not pleasant and leaves a mark.

Give yourself some time. Maybe take up a nice, stress-relieving hobby. Find ways to reconnect with yourself and your life so that you get back to a place suitable for writing what you want to finish. In the meantime, try writing something else.

Irysangel · May 28, 2008

Also, the book you're writing might be bogging you down. I've raced through some books, and sludged through others. Sometimes if it's hard to write (or you're not enjoying it), it'll seem like a chore to return to.

Could it be something like that?

Elwolf · May 28, 2008

I think that you might need a break. Have you been working every day, or for a very long time on the same book? Maybe you need to let your mind relax a little for a while. Take a break and watch a good movie or something, maybe read a book. This helps me even when I suffer a loss.

I lost someone very dear to me recently, and it took me a while to get over it(honestly, I think I never will) and books got me distracted from it long enough to where I could actually handle it reasonably well.

I'm sorry for your loss!

Angela_785 · May 28, 2008

I have a question for you...do you have a fear of success? Many writers do. It's one thing to want something, another to achieve it and then have the pressure on you from all fronts. Will the readers like it? Will it do well enough to make the publisher happy? How will I promote it, and how will I find the time to do so? How much will my life change because of this?

And then there's the biggest question of all: can I do it again? Because that's the expectation, to keep going.

It's pretty natural to have some fear of success, when it brings so much change.

Robin Bayne · May 28, 2008

Angela_785 said:
I
And then there's the biggest question of all: can I do it again? Because that's the expectation, to keep going.

It's pretty natural to have some fear of success, when it brings so much change.

Not only the fear of success and change, but the fear of not being able to make the next project better than your last. I have that all the time.

Phaeal · May 28, 2008

Yes, I've heard about this fear of success. I myself know nothing of it -- it's success that's afraid of me.

inkkognito · May 28, 2008

I'm a cognitive therapist and see variations of this all the time. Hormones do play a role, but I suspect there are also thoughts behind this. We tend to think that people WANT to take power in their lives, but often the opposite is true. Taking power also means taking responsibility, and that part scares 'em to death. You need to think about what it would mean if you plunged forward with this...both the best and worst outcome scenarios and how you would handle them. What feelings crop up as you think about each side? Make a note of those specific feelings because therein lies the key.

Okay, I'll get off my therapist soapbox now, but I just couldn't help it because I've had so many clients with a similar situation.

NicoleMD · May 28, 2008

Back up your work somewhere safe, then delete the last ten pages you wrote and start up again. Usually when I get stuck/unmotivated it's when I've started taking the story where it doesn't want to go. If that doesn't work, you might try deleting 20 or 30 pages.

Good luck!

Nicole

Elaine Margarett · May 28, 2008

inkkognito said:
I'm a cognitive therapist and see variations of this all the time. Hormones do play a role, but I suspect there are also thoughts behind this. We tend to think that people WANT to take power in their lives, but often the opposite is true. Taking power also means taking responsibility, and that part scares 'em to death. You need to think about what it would mean if you plunged forward with this...both the best and worst outcome scenarios and how you would handle them. What feelings crop up as you think about each side? Make a note of those specific feelings because therein lies the key.

Okay, I'll get off my therapist soapbox now, but I just couldn't help it because I've had so many clients with a similar situation.

Interesting, and possibly true! But I also think I'm inhertantly lazy and now that I know how much work it is, I'm rethinking the whole writing thing. lol

Still, I'm giving this some weight~

The Closer I Get, the Less I Seem to Want It

Elaine Margarett

High and Dry

Namatu

Lost in mental space.

Irysangel

She of Many Names

Elwolf

Rabbit! Hunting Mode.

Angela_785

Robin Bayne

~writes for Him~

Phaeal

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.

inkkognito

Onlyifyouwanttowillyoufin daway-Enya

NicoleMD

Onomatopotamus

Elaine Margarett

High and Dry