ignorance is bliss and I thought you'd laugh when I suggested we take our inner tubes to the horizon's edge.
I'm sorry that I fed your parrot pop-rocks when I was in the 6th grade but...
...that parrot talked way too much. It had a big mouth. And it told all my dirty, dirty secrets. The ones it saw in my bedroom. And bathroom. And kitchen table. And on the roof. And that time I went to the alley with all the crack-whores.
I'm sorry I smashed your computer with a frozen chicken. Fourteen times. By accident. But...
I'm sorry that i left your raisin and sour cream pie out all night but since someone already left the cake out in the rain and I didn't think that I could take it 'cause it took so long to bake it and I'd never have that recipe again, I figured I'd leave the pie out as well.
I'm sorry that your voice reminds me of fingernails on a chalkboard, but...
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