Stupid things non-writers say

Stacia Kane said:

She said she just laughs and says, "Well, I have two children, so guess what else I do."

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Haha xD

Stacia Kane said:

She said she just laughs and says, "Well, I have two children, so guess what else I do."

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Best. Response. EVER.

Annette Funicello: comeback queen.

Rhoda Nightingale said:

Best. Response. EVER.

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+1

You ever have the writing conversation with your grandparents? Mine thought you had to pay hundreds of dollars to get a book published and didn't understand why I'd love to have a publisher pick up my book. They were amazed when I told them how it really works .

But just a side-note here. A lot of you are seriously condescending and snobby about anyone that doesn't understand what you do. I mean some of these comments are to the point of absolute ass-hattery. Maybe some of you should think before you speak so rudely? No offense intended, but it's food for thought.

Del said:

My mom won't read my work because I call it horror. She says she thinks I'll be too gorey. So I asked her "who's your favorite author?" She said Jonathan Kellerman. So I go find a book by JK. The first chapter has a series of mutilations and same gender sex.

"MOTHER! Why do you read this crap?"

"He uses short paragraphs."

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So this is 6 years late, but I've never read this thread before... To this, I say:

Darkshore said:

You ever have the writing conversation with your grandparents? Mine thought you had to pay hundreds of dollars to get a book published and didn't understand why I'd love to have a publisher pick up my book. They were amazed when I told them how it really works .

But just a side-note here. A lot of you are seriously condescending and snobby about anyone that doesn't understand what you do. I mean some of these comments are to the point of absolute ass-hattery. Maybe some of you should think before you speak so rudely? No offense intended, but it's food for thought.

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This is a venting thread. Sometimes, I know it is with me, I've explained how getting published worked to the same person multiple times and they just don't believe me. Worse, they keep asking me over and over again.

Since I'm with a small press a lot of my marketing and promoting is on me. And I'm okay with that, and sort of learning as I go... my family however is right in there "helping" me... the latest...

"Why don't you see if that JK girl wants to be your mentor and show you the ropes."

"There's this bookreviewer in (enter large newspaper here) you should send them an e-mail and see if they will read your book."

"So an agent is what you want, so why don't you go and get one?" (as if it's that easy)

Speaking of great comebacks, a friend of mine just had a literary-ish novel come out, from a big 6 publisher. She was posting on Facebook inviting friends to her book signing events. One obnoxious friend commented "Am I in this book?" and I thought her response had the perfect amount of sass and grace: "Yes, Joe, you're the main character." Cracked me up.

Kitty Pryde said:

Speaking of great comebacks, a friend of mine just had a literary-ish novel come out, from a big 6 publisher. She was posting on Facebook inviting friends to her book signing events. One obnoxious friend commented "Am I in this book?" and I thought her response had the perfect amount of sass and grace: "Yes, Joe, you're the main character." Cracked me up.

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She should have added, "You die at the end."

Just found this thread and I have to say the things that have been bothering me lately.

Me: "I'm writing a book."
My mom: "Oh! Are you writing about your family?"

(later, when my sister reads the first chapter)
sister: "So, is the main character really supposed to be you?"

other sister: "Who cares if you don't have writing experience! Just look at what happened to Stephenie Meyer."

Alessandra Kelley said:

Not a writer, but I get a lot of that about my paintings. People tend to assume they're self-portraits, even things like this. Um ... no?

Although my own father assumed I was the model for a taciturn Spartan Cherokee warrior woman in my husband's first published novel. It was surreal.

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Ha! This last part made me laugh out loud. Parents are so funny! I just know that when the rest of my family reads my book, they will start psychoanalyzing it and assuming more outrageous things.

Yesterday I was told to see one of my uni lecturer because he was "looking for someone who can write to be assisted in publishing". I was unsure because my book was not ready, but the informer bugged me to see him right away.

Turned out this lecturer of mine had a writer circle (some kind of a critic circle, perhaps? He wasn't too clear about it) and he was recruiting new members from students because students have fresh minds but little opportunity (<--- his words, unless I mistakenly understood). He also bragged that he had "published" his own book. That book was self-published, and by that I mean from the university printer (not a press. Printer). He gave me one book for free and as unprofessional as a book can look... Well. He told me that the book would look good in his curriculum vitae. When I mentioned that self-published book doesn't really count as a publishing credit, he wouldn't believe me. When I said that I don't have a wide enough contacts to go self-publishing, he said I can arrange with the big publishers about contacts (I'm not kidding. I was like at this point).

Not only that, I also found out that Mr. Lecturer has little to no understanding about fiction and non-fiction. He kept referring to his book, which was an "analysis about the problem and potency of ---" as fiction and Happy Botter (Harry Potter) as non-fiction. He said they are basically the same. All right. I took off ASAP, not looking back.

After that brief meeting, I encountered a few friends in the waiting room. We chatted and I showed them the book the lecturer gave me. They went "aah", "ooh", so impressed that their eyes couldn't get any wider... and I stood there, feeling stupid.

No no no, you shouldn't feel stupid. Maybe feel embarrassed for them, but not stupid.

Darkshore said:

You ever have the writing conversation with your grandparents? Mine thought you had to pay hundreds of dollars to get a book published and didn't understand why I'd love to have a publisher pick up my book. They were amazed when I told them how it really works .

But just a side-note here. A lot of you are seriously condescending and snobby about anyone that doesn't understand what you do. I mean some of these comments are to the point of absolute ass-hattery. Maybe some of you should think before you speak so rudely? No offense intended, but it's food for thought.

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well this is a thread for venting. there are also a threads called "Smart things non-writers say" and "Stupid things writers say."

My hubby works a helpdesk and complains about the callers ignorance of computers even though it is his job. People need a place to vent.

sassandgroove said:

well this is a thread for venting. there are also a threads called "Smart things non-writers say" and "Stupid things writers say."

My hubby works a helpdesk and complains about the callers ignorance of computers even though it is his job. People need a place to vent.

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But, sometimes the venting makes so little sense I have to think the writer is really mad about something else. (E.g., earlier in the thread somebody apparently considered "What do you write?" a stupid question, worthy of contemptuous sarcasm rather than an answer.)

Yet part of me wants somebody, a non-writer, to say something so stupid about writing, or what I'm doing specifically, that I feel wise by comparison and justified in my frustration and resentment. And, sometimes it's funny. Can't get through life without a sense of humor.

Intelligent Things Non-Writers Say

Stupid Things Writers Say

I just got an email from my cousin's husband, a retired diplomat, very sweet. Verbatim:

By the way,I have got the beginning and some ideas of a Children's Fiction Novel, along the lines of a female Harry Potter, and would like to offer it to you to write as the author, if you have no objection.

Rhoda officially flipped her lid on Twilight comparisons yesterday:

Coworker: "Hey my friend's writing this book. It's kind of like Twilight--there's magic and the girl knows how to do things with fire and all her friends have powers, etc, etc."

Rhoda: "...that sounds in no way, shape or form even a little bit like Twilight."

Coworker: "Oh, I just meant, because it's a fantasy--"

Rhoda: "NO. Many things are fantasy, and not all of them are Twilight. In fact only ONE of them is Twilight. Never say that shit again or I might have to hurt you."

(Exact words. I'm not exactly proud of this, but...)

I think I was too nice to my cousin's husband. I pretended that I had to turn down the favour he was "offering" me, as I have never written a children's book before. "I'm sure you could do it better," I said, "as it's your story."

Aruna--good response. If it were ol' stormie me, I'd probably type back: "DO NOT CALL IT A FICTION NOVEL!"

Since the last book I had published was nine years ago and I left my agent three years ago, non-writers now don't even bother asking how the writing is going. In many non-writer's minds, it doesn't count if you only have short stories or essays published recently.

"What's your book about?"
"Well, it's a young adult book, and-"
"Oh, is it about vampires?!"

AmyJay said:

"What's your book about?"
"Well, it's a young adult book, and-"
"Oh, is it about vampires?!"

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lol lol So sad.

I've decided that the worst thing a non-writer can say is... nothing.

As in:

"What have you been up to?"

"Oh. I'm writing a book."

*crickets* or a polite, knowing smile (like you REALLY think YOU can get published) then change the subject.

Gurg!