The "I'm sorry" thread

Komnena

In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah
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but you won't have to worry about the salt shortage for some time.
I'm sorry your teachers taught you the world is flat but
 

primewriter

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ignorance is bliss and I thought you'd laugh when I suggested we take our inner tubes to the horizon's edge.
I'm sorry that I fed your parrot pop-rocks when I was in the 6th grade but...
 
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Komnena

In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah
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but the trip you'll be going on soon will be interesting enough to make up for it.
I'm sorry I stole the sword from the stone.
 

Nightfly

Ruby Ruby when will you be mine?
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Here. Accept this large wooden badger.

I'm sorry about hitting on your mom at the wedding.
 

kct webber

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at least rats taste good with ginger and soy sauce.

I'm sorry your period is late, but...
 

flyingtart

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it was that or let him shit on the floor.

I'm sorry I called you a dipshit but...
 

kct webber

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...shit being cookies and dip being chocolate, I meant you were delicious.

I'm sorry that I left a flaming bag of cookies and dip on your porch, but...
 

kct webber

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...that parrot talked way too much. It had a big mouth. And it told all my dirty, dirty secrets. The ones it saw in my bedroom. And bathroom. And kitchen table. And on the roof. And that time I went to the alley with all the crack-whores.

I'm sorry I smashed your computer with a frozen chicken. Fourteen times. By accident. But...
 

Woof

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I'm sorry I invited your crack whore to your kid's birthday party, but she wanted to see if any of the kids were hers.

I'm sorry that I bought you a snarling, rabid pit bull, but...
 

Woof

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I'm sorry that i ever married Max de Winter, but I could never resist living in a beautiful country estate with a psychotic housekeeper.

I'm sorry that I got indelible ink stains on your white wedding dress, but...
 

Woof

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I'm sorry that i left your raisin and sour cream pie out all night but since someone already left the cake out in the rain and I didn't think that I could take it 'cause it took so long to bake it and I'd never have that recipe again, I figured I'd leave the pie out as well.

I'm sorry that your voice reminds me of fingernails on a chalkboard, but...
 

Nightfly

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Shatner made me do it. He's kind of a competitive dick. And weird. I don't, know I still kind of like him though.

Sorry I stole your invention and made a fortune with it but...