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Jaycinth
03-18-2008, 03:32 AM
This always comes up.

At a family gathering this weekend, we were discussing hubbys'. All the women were discussing the fact that their hubs had no clue on how to do laundry.

My story:

A year before it was 'get out or die', my ex began complaining about how I did laundry.

It wasn't right. Not like his mother used to do it. (We were going on year 18 at that point). So he told me I was inadequate, and said he'd do it himself.

I took him up on it.

And weekly, I scraped his clothes up off his dresser and put them in a 33 gallon heavy duty black trash bag, sprayed it with lysol and shut it with a rubber band.

a bit over a year later, when he left, he took three laden trash bags with him. I told them about that.

**rueful laughter**

When I took his boxes of books over to his 'place' the three bags were still there. two were duct taped closed, one was open.

"Damn you, my clothes f******* mildewed, I can hardly wear them.

"you do realize those hadn't been washed?"
"yeah, but I figured they'd air out by now."

Ok.........

....now we are at the gathering.
My MIL chimes in. "he brought them all over to my place and just left them them there. So I had his brother take them to his new place."

Daughter: "Yeah, mom, like dad still has those bags of dirty clothes you threw him out with. I saw them at his new place."

I so love my new life.

Anyone else????

Devil Ledbetter
03-18-2008, 04:05 AM
My first husband and I lived in a tall Victorian with a widow's walk (flat top above the roofing gables). It leaked, and he decided he could fix it himself. He put the household ladder (6', I guess) on the back porch roof, climbed up a couple of levels, did whatever roof sealing job he deemed appropriate and decided to climb back down. Unfortunately, the roofing shingles felt a lot slipperier from that angle.

He got nervous.

I was in the house, making dinner or something. I came out to check on him. He was up there on the widow's walk, afraid to come down. Shaking.

I climbed up onto the back porch roof and offered to hold the ladder for him. He started to come down the hipped portion of the roof, but got even more nervous. He realized it wouldn't work. He couldn't control himself from sliding down once he got started let go of the lip of the widow's walk at that angle. He climbed back up and said he couldn't do it.

"Look," I said. "Just hang on. I'll call my dad."

"No!" Boy, he was pissed at the mere suggestion. "You just stay there. I'll slide down and you can break my fall."

As if! We'd have both been killed.

"I'm going in," I said. "If I can't get my dad, I'm calling the fire department."

"If you do that, I'm never speaking to you again."

"Sorry, hon. But I really have to. You can't stay out here all night."

So I ended up calling the fire department. They brought out a ladder truck and managed to get a ladder over to the widow's walk. They went up there and put a harness or something on him. He wouldn't budge. He was scared out of his wits (not that he really had many). They ended up with a couple of firemen up there, and just before dark they finally talked him down.

By then, the entire neighborhood was crowded around our house, sure he was suicidal.

I know the fire department saved his life, and there really wasn't any other choice as far as getting him down safely, but he never forgave me for "humiliating" him.

dolores haze
03-18-2008, 04:40 AM
A year or so after I divorced my ex I decided it was time to think about buying a house. So I ordered all my credit reports. I nearly had a stroke when they arrived. I knew that he was financially irresponsible, but I had no idea as to the extent. It took me three years to pay off all his bounced checks, unpaid taxes, and credit cards that he'd applied for in my name.

There wasn't anything I could do. Everything he'd done had been done in both our names while we were still legally married. I had to pay everything if I wanted a squeaky clean credit rating. But every check I wrote had a little message on it. In that little bit where you write what the check is for I wrote full sentences in the smallest possible writing.

For: "that loser bastard I should never have married. His name is.........."
For: "that useless waste of space - his name is............"
For: "the worst mistake I ever made. His name is..........."

Each and every check I wrote was personalized. It made me feel just the tiniest little bit better about the whole mess. I got a call the other day from the IRS - guess who they were looking for? I sure hope his next wife is wealthy enough to afford him.

Kerr
03-18-2008, 04:53 AM
I don't think this thread is long enough for me, so...
:popcorn:

Queen of Swords
03-18-2008, 05:08 AM
This guy wasn't really an ex - more of a boyfriend. It was my first and last long distance relationship - I was in Georgia and he was in Texas, but I was applying to a college in Texas so I knew it wouldn't be an LDR for too long. We'd email every day and talk every now and then, and once he visited me. What I only found out when I got to Texas was that he had another girl over there.

I didn't like being strung along. I'd been very sheltered and naive when I first met him and he'd taken as much advantage of that as he could. When he publicly proposed to this girl at a party to which we'd all been invited, I toyed with a fantasy of sending her copies of his steamy emails, but in the end I decided to take the high road.

And I'm very glad I did, because his wife made his life miserable all by herself. She

1. refused to let him go to happy hour with his co-workers.
2. told him to move his desk away from those of his female co-workers.
3. called up one of said co-workers and told her to "stay away from my man!"
4. had a panic attack just to emphasize how important it was that he not interact with the females.
5. made him give away his cats (they were female too).
6. made him move to Houston so they could be closer to her family.

The justice, it was poetic.

Devil Ledbetter
03-18-2008, 05:36 AM
And I'm very glad I did, because his wife made his life miserable all by herself. She

1. refused to let him go to happy hour with his co-workers.
2. told him to move his desk away from those of his female co-workers.
3. called up one of said co-workers and told her to "stay away from my man!"
4. had a panic attack just to emphasize how important it was that he not interact with the females.
5. made him give away his cats (they were female too).
6. made him move to Houston so they could be closer to her family.

The justice, it was poetic.Well, personally I'd dump an untrustworthy guy before I'd bother trying to control him - even if we were married. But his behavior with you certainly proves he didn't deserve an iota more trust than she gave him.

So yes, that is justice.

joyce
03-18-2008, 06:11 AM
I don't think this thread is long enough for me, so...
:popcorn:

I know this feeling! The laundry thing made me remember things I thought I'd forgotten. My ex and I were together for ten years when months before I left he too started complaining about how I did laundry. I told him to do his own. I just piled all his dirty clothes up in a corner of the bedroom and didn't touch them. Soon he had nothing left that was clean and started pulling dirty crap out of the pile and wearing it. Every time I saw him digging through the pile it made it that much easier to leave. The funniest thing was weeks after the clothes war he stormed out of the house after I told him where to go. He'd never driven a motorcycle before, so the bright man decides to jump on his friends and storm off. Ten minutes later he walks back in the house, weeds in his hair, dirt all over him and a bloody mess, almost in tears. He'd wrecked the thing in our parking lot doing 10 mph. I just wanted to laugh. Karma is a good thing!:D

SpookyWriter
03-18-2008, 06:13 AM
Just saying, but why haven't the guys participated? Hmmm...

joyce
03-18-2008, 06:18 AM
Just saying, but why haven't the guys participated? Hmmm...

Now's your chance.....tell us your ex tales. I'm sure there must be a few good stories about women ex's out there. Not all women folk are as wonderful as us women on AW.:D

The_Grand_Duchess
03-18-2008, 06:19 AM
My ex left like all his stuff in my house when he decided he was done with me. So one day after like three months of staring at it I decided that I wasn't going to live like that anymore, surrounded by his trash. SO I gathered it all up and put it outside.

Fast forward two weeks later and he says, "Can you do me a favor?"

Ok, what the hell? You left me with two kids, lied to me for months about our relationship, and treat me like I'm nothing. No I can't do you any f*&^ing favors! But what I said was "What the hell do you want?"

He said, "I left some papers here. Some tax stuff in that drawer where you keep all the imporatant papers. Can you get it for me?"

I burst out laughing. "Pssh, I threw all that stuff out two weeks ago!"

Him: "What do you mean you threw it out? That was important!"

Me: "I'm sorry. Does it say Public Storage on my forehead? Is there a sign over my door? If it was so important you should have taken it with you!"

Him: "Yeah whatever."

I still smile about it.

SpookyWriter
03-18-2008, 06:21 AM
Now's your chance.....tell us your ex tales. I'm sure there must be a few good stories about women ex's out there. Not all women folk are as wonderful as us women on AW.:DI don't have much to tell. I send my $2000 a month into the court and I'm happy.

joyce
03-18-2008, 06:29 AM
I don't have much to tell. I send my $2000 a month into the court and I'm happy.

Wow, good man to send all that money. My friends thought I was crazed. I left with a two year old and what I could fit into my car and left the rest behind. When the judge asked me what I wanted for child support I responded, nothing just my sanity. I figured if he didn't want her, why pay for her. I'd be happy to take full responsibility. I'm always impressed with people like you who stand up to the plate. :)

SpookyWriter
03-18-2008, 06:33 AM
My kids, why wouldn't I take care of them. I'm helping my three kids, mother, and may have to help my dad at some point in the future. I don't have any issues with my ex-wife. Our marriage ended after eighteen years, for the best. We went out separate ways. I'm happy and I hope she is too.

ETA: My two oldest girls are in college and my son will be seventeen this year. But they need me, and I'm more than happy to help.

SpookyWriter
03-18-2008, 06:51 AM
Wow, good man to send all that money. My friends thought I was crazed. I left with a two year old and what I could fit into my car and left the rest behind. When the judge asked me what I wanted for child support I responded, nothing just my sanity. I figured if he didn't want her, why pay for her. I'd be happy to take full responsibility. I'm always impressed with people like you who stand up to the plate. :)Hi Joyce, I'm not special by any straight of the imagination. I don't have horror stories of my ex-wife. She is the mother of our children. We had differences, and divorced after eighteen years of marriage.

I never harbored hard feelings toward her. She was my best friend for so many years. But sometimes even best friends have issues.

I think dads sometimes take a bad beat. There are really good dads out there who do take care of their kids after the divorce.

I just don't hear a lot of dads bashing the ex-wife in public.

joyce
03-18-2008, 07:06 AM
Hi Joyce, I'm not special by any straight of the imagination. I don't have horror stories of my ex-wife. She is the mother of our children. We had differences, and divorced after eighteen years of marriage.

I never harbored hard feelings toward her. She was my best friend for so many years. But sometimes even best friends have issues.

I think dads sometimes take a bad beat. There are really good dads out there who do take care of their kids after the divorce.

I just don't hear a lot of dads bashing the ex-wife in public.

I agree with the dads taking a bad rap sometimes. I have three friends who have been single dads for years. Each one has raised their kids alone with no female assistance. The courts don't always see it this way, but sometimes the kids are better with their father. As far as my ex.....well I guess looking back I married into the horror story. Nobody forced me. Not all exs are jerks.:)

SpookyWriter
03-18-2008, 07:29 AM
Not all exs are jerks.:)Thank you. This goes both ways. Take care, and I'm happy to learn of your second most success.

Sonneillon
03-18-2008, 07:33 AM
I am a woman with a sex drive comparable to the hornier males of the species. Post-baby, I don't think I'm all that hot anymore, but pre-baby, I most definately had a knock-out figure. I started going out with a guy in high school, and four years later we were engaged, but I left him for a good number of reasons:

- he was more interested in online gaming than he was in sex with me, even when his computer died every five minutes

- He was more interested in porn than sex with me

- He refused to get a job, thus making it impossible for us to move out of his mother's house

- He didn't wash his own clothes, control his own finances, or even read his own bank statements... and when he asked to see them, his mother burst into tears.

- He'd been in college four years and changed his major five times

- He whined. A LOT.

PattiTheWicked
03-18-2008, 07:36 AM
I wish I had some really horrible stories to tell about my ex, but I don't. He did some dumb stuff, but nothing really rotten, and he's not a bad guy. Wasn't a great husband, but he's a decent person.

Actually, I should rephrase that -- he wasn't a great husband for ME, but seems to be doing a terriffic job with Wife #2, and that makes me happy for both of them.

I wanna be part of the Lousy Ex Club!! :::sobs, feels left out:::

SpookyWriter
03-18-2008, 07:41 AM
I wanna be part of the Lousy Ex Club!! :::sobs, feels left out:::Don't feel left out. There are enough bitter people in the world, and it's a society I choose not to become a member.

kristie911
03-18-2008, 09:58 AM
I'm not particularly bitter...actually, I'm not bitter at all. My life now is 900% better than it was when I was married. I spent a lot of years unhappy...I'm not unhappy anymore. He is though...and that's partially what makes me happy now.

oswann
03-18-2008, 02:25 PM
This thread should bring rays of hope to all the losers out there who think they will never meet anyone. You girls have certainly proved them wrong.


Os.

dpaterso
03-18-2008, 03:09 PM
A particularly positive and uplifting message there, oswann. :D

-Derek

Devil Ledbetter
03-18-2008, 03:25 PM
I'm not particularly bitter...actually, I'm not bitter at all. My life now is 900% better than it was when I was married. I spent a lot of years unhappy...I'm not unhappy anymore. He is though...and that's partially what makes me happy now.I'm not bitter either. Jaycinth asks us to tell an amusing story about an ex, and if we participate, we're bitter?:rolleyes:

I've been happily remarried almost 13 years. There's no room in my life for bitterness toward my ex, and there hasn't been for a very long time.

poetinahat
03-18-2008, 03:33 PM
A particularly positive and uplifting message there, oswann. :D

-Derek
There's only one Os... and we, thank the stars, have got him. God bless 'im.

No, Os, you still can't ban us all, but thanks for the thought. *tips hat*

Jaycinth
03-18-2008, 04:21 PM
Hey. I'm not bitter. I got the bitter out on the 'Hate' thread in late 2005.

No. I just thought it was funny that the 5 married ladies were all complaining about the laundry, and my MIL and I actually had the same laundry horror story. If you count the fact that dear daughter knows the now...continuing tale....

seriously...it is 2008 folks...those bags of laundry have been in existance since early 2004.

...early 2004. GROK??????


and like Spookey...I had a bunch of nice years. He was a pretty good dad til the end...and was...still is an incredible musician. It is just sad that he had to do things to distract him from his life.

But we all do...things. Like I had that 'accident' with my cat ..6 weeks ago.

But the laundry... come on...that's funny. That's priceslessly funny.

nerds
03-18-2008, 04:41 PM
. . . "No! . . . You just stay there. I'll slide down and you can break my fall."


:roll:


omg. Ain't love grand.

joyce
03-18-2008, 05:17 PM
My first husband and I lived in a tall Victorian with a widow's walk (flat top above the roofing gables). It leaked, and he decided he could fix it himself. He put the household ladder (6', I guess) on the back porch roof, climbed up a couple of levels, did whatever roof sealing job he deemed appropriate and decided to climb back down. Unfortunately, the roofing shingles felt a lot slipperier from that angle.

He got nervous.

I was in the house, making dinner or something. I came out to check on him. He was up there on the widow's walk, afraid to come down. Shaking.

I climbed up onto the back porch roof and offered to hold the ladder for him. He started to come down the hipped portion of the roof, but got even more nervous. He realized it wouldn't work. He couldn't control himself from sliding down once he got started let go of the lip of the widow's walk at that angle. He climbed back up and said he couldn't do it.

"Look," I said. "Just hang on. I'll call my dad."

"No!" Boy, he was pissed at the mere suggestion. "You just stay there. I'll slide down and you can break my fall."

As if! We'd have both been killed.

"I'm going in," I said. "If I can't get my dad, I'm calling the fire department."

"If you do that, I'm never speaking to you again."

"Sorry, hon. But I really have to. You can't stay out here all night."

So I ended up calling the fire department. They brought out a ladder truck and managed to get a ladder over to the widow's walk. They went up there and put a harness or something on him. He wouldn't budge. He was scared out of his wits (not that he really had many). They ended up with a couple of firemen up there, and just before dark they finally talked him down.

By then, the entire neighborhood was crowded around our house, sure he was suicidal.

I know the fire department saved his life, and there really wasn't any other choice as far as getting him down safely, but he never forgave me for "humiliating" him.

:roll:This was soooo funny! I'm not bitter either and never was. If I hadn't married him I'd never had my wonderful daughter. I will always be thankful of that. I was young and foolish and thought love could change the world. I always wished him the best. I'm just so much happier with my now husband (18 yrs.). I even have funny tales about him.:D

oswann
03-18-2008, 05:37 PM
No, Os, you still can't ban us all, but thanks for the thought. *tips hat*

There goes my next question.

Os.

James81
03-18-2008, 06:15 PM
When I hear about men who don't know how to do laundry, I scratch my head. lol

Granted, there are probably some tips/tricks that I as a man don't know, but I can at least get my clothes sort of clean.

BenPanced
03-18-2008, 06:47 PM
Oh, what can I say about my first ex?

Pull up a chair, kids. We're gonna be here for a while.

He truly, desperately wanted to be part of the leather crowd. Admirable in retrospect, yes, but execution left too much to be desired. He used to work for Uniroyal, the company that makes/made Naugahyde. He could get scrap ends by the pound for dirt cheap. A lot of it was really nice, too. In fact, one scrap roll he'd gotten was a commission from Samsonite for their luggage. Anyway, he tried to impress me by acting like he could tell when leather was fake and he'd be wrong. He also thought he could get away with making stuff from the Naugahyde because he thought nobody'd tell the difference (trust me – leather folk KNOW). Thankfully, I was gone before he'd gotten the chaps made. Did I mention he always bought brown Naugahyde and pretty much all leather folk wear black leather?

He used to sell lightbulbs for a sell-at-home scheme full time, but never really let it go. In fact, he cornered a friend of mine with his sales speech. Scot said it bordered on cultish behavior. I'm still apologizing to this day, even though it wasn't my fault and this happened nearly 22 years ago.

He'd somehow gotten his license changed to reflect a three year difference, making him younger than he actually was. When we met, he was about to turn 42 and his license said he was 39.

He dyed his hair. Nothing wrong with that, but rather than doing something, oh, SENSIBLE about it and buying a dye that covered grey, he bought the shade he had when he was in high school and bleached it. L'Oreal Light Ash Blonde #1AB. When his hair was growing out, you could see the light brown it had darkened to. And thank ghod he stopped at his chest. Oh, I'm sorry. Did I neglect to mention HE ALSO DYED HIS CHEST HAIR?!

He had half a can of clam chowder for dinner one night, putting the rest in the fridge. Got a severe case of food poisoning later that night. I told him I was going to throw out the rest of the chowder but he had me leave it in the fridge. After all, he hadn't finished eating it yet!

HE. DYED. HIS. CHEST HAIR!

He really had a narrow scope on things. Whenever he was talking about how bad a movie was, it was always compared to "Attack of The Killer Tomatoes". Which, as many people might not know, was a SPOOF of bad movies and DELIBERATELY BAD.

He always added extra an extra "t" where it didn't belong. "Enough" was "enought". Diversey Avenue in Chicago was "Diversity".

Jeebus Crisp, I'm not even going to get into how he danced…

He dyed his chest hair, people!

P.S.) We broke up on Tuesday, April 15, 1986. (For the non-US folks reading this, April 15 is the date tax forms are due.)

WerenCole
03-18-2008, 07:57 PM
I have an ex who is now in jail for attempted murder and assault with a deadly weapon. She didn't go after me, but, hey, still. . . .


On the fair side, bi-polar is a hell of a disease.

III
03-18-2008, 08:21 PM
I think this thread is all a big set-up for the next Horror contest. The toxic bags of Jaycinth's Ex came to life and . . . .

BenPanced
03-19-2008, 01:41 AM
HE DYED HIS CHEST HAIR, PEOPLE...

III
03-19-2008, 01:42 AM
HE DYED HIS CHEST HAIR, PEOPLE...

Then you should have mentioned that in your original story. Oh wait....

Devil Ledbetter
03-19-2008, 02:27 AM
HE DYED HIS CHEST HAIR, PEOPLE...Some people will do anything to impress a priddy laydee.

Jaycinth
03-19-2008, 05:49 AM
the next Horror contest........

The toxic bags of Jaycinth's Ex came to life and . . . .
HE DYED HIS CHEST HAIR, PEOPLE...

and then RllgThunder....

SpookyWriter
03-19-2008, 05:51 AM
and then RllgThunder....Was that a question?

The_Grand_Duchess
03-19-2008, 06:00 AM
HE DYED HIS CHEST HAIR, PEOPLE...

My step dad dyed his hair and shaved his chest hair. My mom divorced his dumb@ss.

SpookyWriter
03-19-2008, 06:08 AM
My step dad dyed his hair and shaved his chest hair. My mom divorced his dumb@ss.Because he shaved?

The_Grand_Duchess
03-19-2008, 06:35 AM
Because he shaved?

No. She was more concerned with the hooker he was seeing.

Which brings me to my next point. The women in my family, we just don't choose well.

SpookyWriter
03-19-2008, 06:36 AM
No. She was more concerned with the hooker he was seeing.

Which brings me to my next point. The women in my family, we just don't choose well.If you want clean water then you need to dig the well deeper.

Haggis
03-19-2008, 06:49 AM
I think this thread is all a big set-up for the next Horror contest. The toxic bags of Jaycinth's Ex came to life and . . . .

HE DYED HIS CHEST HAIR, PEOPLE...

Wait. These could work.

Processing...processing....

ErylRavenwell
03-19-2008, 11:52 AM
One of my exes, out of the blue, once walked straight to me and told me she was pregnant (with another guy's baby. We'd already broken up). Well, I congratulated her and hugged her and let her go. She said nothing but something in her eyes was pleading for my help. I think she might have thought I was her chance for redemption; a redemption that I was to refuse her.

I knew why she came to me; I clearly recalled telling her stuff such as, "I'm too much of a man to get you pregnant", "when hope abandons you, I'll be there for you", etcetera. How full of shit I was back then. Thought too much of myself. Most people would have done exactly what I did, turning my back on her. But how I hated to be "most people"...still hate myself.