Using Empathy

[IdiotsRUs]

OK, so I have this character who is learning to use empathy. And the problem I'm having is I'm using 'she felt' far, far, far too much. But while some are reasonably easy to cut, for the life of me, 90% of the time I simple can't see any other way to describe it, while being clear that it's someone else's emotions, not hers. Or as she 'feels' around her, etc.

It's driving me batty, and I think I'm going word blind on it.

Any ideas?

[Appalachian Writer]

Just show. That's my advice. Example: Her brain began to tremble with the fear that echoed from his body. or Every nerve ending stood on end, scraping at her insides as she watched him writhe in pain. That's the only way I'd know how to avoid the words "she felt." I'm no expert, of course, but something like this should really help you flex that writing muscle.

[DeleyanLee]

I agree--show what she's feeling. Not only the emotion she's experiencing but some of the things she's doing to use the empathy. That way when you say "she *blanked*" or "she *did this*" the reader understands that she's using empathy and not just having the sensation herself.

[sheadakota]

I agree with Appalchain Writer- show it- I have an empathic character in my wip, so I know what you mean- what I do is show what affect the feelings have on him- "he inhaled sharply as the other man's anger impaled him almost physically..."

That is right off the top of my head, but you can see what I mean- It gets a little challenging after 200 pages or so:tongue- but it is possible!

[IdiotsRUs]

That's what I've been trying, but I'm finding it impossible to keep it up! She uses it quite a lot, so it's difficult having to come up with a new way of doing it every time.

Sigh. Wish I'd never given her this now!

Thanks guys.

[ink wench]

Agree with the others. If you want to take it one step further, to make it very clear it's not her emotions she's feeling, you could italicize them. Something like:

She pushed open the door and discovered the source of her trouble. A punishing heat spread from her gut through her limbs. Every nerve seemed aflame. Unable to help herself, she cried out and looked down at the old man writhing on the floor. Nothing appeared wrong with him, certainly no gut wound.

Ok, terrible example, but that's what I meant.

[Melisande]

This might be way off, but if she is feeling the other person's pain, then why not center on that other person? I don't really know how to explain... Maybe as in;

As she entered the room the man on the floor suddenly felt (noticed, observed, sensed) a relief in his pain, as if she had absorbed parts of it. He sensed her empathy... (understanding, sympathy, compassion, responsiveness). And then move back to her as in;

... and as she noticed how the pain slowly left his eyes, she...

Guess this doesn't make sense at all. Make it into an interaction, rather than describing a feeling, is what what I'm trying to say.

[Cranky]

OK, so I have this character who is learning to use empathy. And the problem I'm having is I'm using 'she felt' far, far, far too much. But while some are reasonably easy to cut, for the life of me, 90% of the time I simple can't see any other way to describe it, while being clear that it's someone else's emotions, not hers. Or as she 'feels' around her, etc.

It's driving me batty, and I think I'm going word blind on it.

Any ideas?

This might sound like stupid advice, so feel free to disregard. :)

OK, with that out of the way...in the fifth Harry Potter book, The Order of the Phoenix, Harry is feeling a lot of things Voldemort feels because of the scar connection. He's stuck feeling anger when he's not angry, and wildly happy when he's not. It might be worth a read to see how Rowling pulls this off.

Good luck!

[Smiling Ted]

If you're using a first-person voice, or a third-person voice that's sufficiently close to your empathic character, just describe what the subject of the empathy is feeling.

Sharon spun around. The man behind her was tense, suspicious. But it was a clear day in Central Park - what was frightening him so badly?

[IdiotsRUs]

Ohh lots to work with now - I think you've kick started me so I can do something!

And I used my trusty Find button - and found I hadn't used it anywhere near as much as I thought, or not with respect to her empathy anyway.

Thanks.

[Sonneillon]

hey, idiots, if you want a list of alternative words, I figured I'd chime in... it seemed like that was what you were asking for. Try 'sensed', or possibly 'detected'.

As an additional note, Empathy is considered a 'passive' psychic power, which means that the empath is acted upon by their environment instead of sending their power 'out', so to speak, to act upon the environment. So it's appropriate (unless you're using it differently) to use passive terms to describe it. "She was overwhelmed by", "she was invaded by", etc. Trust me, real telepaths and empaths would be quick to tell you that "invasion" is precisely the correct word to use.

[IdiotsRUs]

Well her empathy is kind of more active, but hey this is fantasy ( she uses it quite effectively to tell if there are people round the corner, and if they feel like they might want to kill anyone today :)). And yeah 'invaded' is a good way of describing it too. *adds words to list*


It's coming up with a different way of saying it each time that's the killer.

I shall now shamelessly steal all the ideas in this thread, if no one minds:D

[Sonneillon]

Well her empathy is kind of more active, but hey this is fantasy ( she uses it quite effectively to tell if there are people round the corner, and if they feel like they might want to kill anyone today :)). And yeah 'invaded' is a good way of describing it too. *adds words to list*


It's coming up with a different way of saying it each time that's the killer.

I shall now shamelessly steal all the ideas in this thread, if no one minds:D

Be my guest, and best of luck!

[crrazyjane]

I don't know how much this would help with your word-picking problem, but it's a fun bit of food for thought if you're working with empathy - there's a lot of recent research that indicates that our physiological "symptoms" of an emotion aren't actually symptoms - they ARE the emotion. To put it in less cog-psy nerd terms - what they're saying is that the reaction in your body is the first thing that happens, and then your brain picks up the signals and goes - oh, wow. I'm crying. Check it out - I guess I'm sad. You smile, and then you realize you're happy. Your blood pressure rises, and your muscles tense, and THEN you realize you're mad. So with your empath, it might be interesting to work with the notion that the way she recieves the emotions she picks up from other people is actually with her body - her pulse goes up, her breathing changes, that sort of thing.

Anthony DiMasio has written a lot of really cool stuff about this, if you find it at all worth checking out. And good luck with your character!

[WildScribe]

I don't know how much this would help with your word-picking problem, but it's a fun bit of food for thought if you're working with empathy - there's a lot of recent research that indicates that our physiological "symptoms" of an emotion aren't actually symptoms - they ARE the emotion. To put it in less cog-psy nerd terms - what they're saying is that the reaction in your body is the first thing that happens, and then your brain picks up the signals and goes - oh, wow. I'm crying. Check it out - I guess I'm sad. You smile, and then you realize you're happy. Your blood pressure rises, and your muscles tense, and THEN you realize you're mad. So with your empath, it might be interesting to work with the notion that the way she recieves the emotions she picks up from other people is actually with her body - her pulse goes up, her breathing changes, that sort of thing.

Anthony DiMasio has written a lot of really cool stuff about this, if you find it at all worth checking out. And good luck with your character!

Neat! Thanks for the info, it's fascinating!

[IdiotsRUs]

ooh thanks for the heads up! *runs off to look*