Agent wants manuscript ASAP: do I shorten?

Patrick L · Feb 15, 2008

I need some quick help! After ten rejections, agent number eleven, with a large agency in NYC, asked me for my full manuscript. Of course after the champagne popping and calls to those close to me, reality set in. The manuscript is complete, and has been through multiple drafts, but there’s one little thing nagging me: two of my six readers raved over it, but said it drags in the first third of the book. The book is 135k words, and the agent knows this—a typical, if not shorter than average, length in this genre. Both of the readers remarked that if someone reads it long enough to get hooked, it’ll be a winner. It’s definitely a novel with building suspense—and characters—that takes a fast pace on the downhill slope.

FYI—it’s a military crime/suspense novel, somewhat comparable to the types of books written by Ken Follett.

Should I go in and use the delete button, early in the story, in the areas that aren’t critical? Would you if you were me? They asked me to email the entire manuscript after filling out a release, so I would like to get it off this weekend.

Your advice is most appreciated!

p.s. I don't want to say who he is for fear that I may jinx the deal. He is with a large agency and reps several well-known authors in the genre, so I'm certainly hopeful, albeit guarded.

dreamsofnever · Feb 15, 2008

If the majority of your readers said it drags, then I say yes, you do some quick editing. If the story can do without the first third, then cut it out. Most agents will not read past the first pages to see if it gets better.

But at the end of the day, it's your story. Go with your gut!

ORION · Feb 15, 2008

If I were you I would take the weekend and carefully go through the WHOLE manuscript and yes being prudent and see if you can prune. Your book will only be the better for it. This is why I don't query until I get my feedback from my beta readers. REMEMBER- No one will read it over the weekend at the agent - even if they say they want it fast there will be a pile ahead of you.
The large agencies have the assistants who print it out - you are better off sending it off Monday. TRUST me on this. DO NOT BE IN A HURRY. Take your time and go through one last time...

Soccer Mom · Feb 15, 2008

Just echoing Patricia. If this is the agent of your dreams, isn't it worth the extra time and effort to make your ms as wonderful as possible? Go through your ms very carefully over the weekend before you send it to the agent on monday.

Provrb1810meggy · Feb 15, 2008

I'm guessing that he didn't explicity say ASAP. Big Agent probably has a lot of manuscripts to read, and even if you sent the manuscript now, Big Agent might not get to it for a week, a month, or maybe even more. Sending the manuscript a week or two later (yet much improved) will probably be unnoticed by Big Agent while also giving you a better shot at representation.

kristie911 · Feb 15, 2008

Take the time to go over at least the first part again. Look for parts that drag and trim them up. Agents are busy and if he's not hooked right away, he may not finish reading to the good part...and you don't want that to happen!

Good luck!

MMWyrm · Feb 15, 2008

Well, I certainly have no experience with this, and I do agree that you should quickly fix anything you think is wrong, but doesn't the agent already have a partial? Wouldn't that be a bit from the beginning of the novel? Maybe he likes it the way it is?

Just wondering.

bluntforcetrauma · Feb 15, 2008

First congrats. Just start reading. If you feel like skipping ahead, give the chop to what drags you down. Good luck.

Smiling Ted · Feb 15, 2008

Remember Chayefsky's Law:

If it should occur to you to cut, do so.

That's Paddy Chayefsky, author of Network and Altered States, among other things.

birdfeeder · Feb 15, 2008

Beer,
Congrats on the request! It's very exciting and you might feel like you want to strike while the iron is hot, BUT I also echo what Patricia said. You have a little time to respond. Take that time and carefully look at your manuscript.

You said these comments from your readers have been nagging you--that's usually how I feel when someone's comment resonates with me but I haven't quite dealt with it yet. Definitely look over your manuscript with a critical eye; you know it best, and you know what's necessary or not.

Good luck!

icerose · Feb 15, 2008

I say go for the cuts, but don't strike bone. I just cut the first chapter of my novel because it kept on saying "This isn't working, cut it, cut it."

Provrb1810meggy · Feb 15, 2008

MMWyrm said:
Well, I certainly have no experience with this, and I do agree that you should quickly fix anything you think is wrong, but doesn't the agent already have a partial? Wouldn't that be a bit from the beginning of the novel? Maybe he likes it the way it is?

Just wondering.

Sometimes agents request full manuscripts right off the bat. For some this is the standard practice, and for some this could mean they're especiaclly enthusiastic about your query/idea; it's best not to overanlyze for the most part.

roskoebaby · Feb 15, 2008

I will echo what everyone here has said. So I hope you've decided to chop. I bet you'll be happier with the overall effect. Good luck to you!

maestrowork · Feb 15, 2008

That's why it's a good idea to query only after you've done all the pruning, etc. to make the ms. the best that it can be.

loiterer · Feb 15, 2008

Beer is Yummy said:
two of my six readers raved over it, but said it drags in the first third of the book...[snip]... Both of the readers remarked that if someone reads it long enough to get hooked, it’ll be a winner.

I repeat advice that I see given time and time again: DO NOT rely on the agent reading the book 'long enough to get hooked'.

An agent doesn't read a manuscript until he is hooked. He/she is looking for reasons to say no. If you do not hook your agent within the first chapter, they probably won't read any further.

The reason they request a full manuscript is so that, if they ARE hooked early on, they can keep reading to see if they remain hooked, or whether the novel fails to live up to early promise.

As everyone else has said, if you feel your readers are correct, then you must edit your manuscript. If you send your manuscript too hastily, you will get a hasty rejection. Take a couple of weeks, at least. There is no rush. Make your manuscript the best it can be.

Patrick L · Feb 16, 2008

Excellent responses. Thanks to all.

This project has been gone over, very carefully. Until I received the request for manuscript, I was confident that it was ready, but the words haunted me (like Vincent Price.) This is why the second thoughts.

Again, thanks to each of you.

James D. Macdonald · Feb 16, 2008

Beer is Yummy said:
I need some quick help! After ten rejections, agent number eleven, with a large agency in NYC, asked me for my full manuscript.

Did the agent request the full based on three-and-an-outline? If so, the agent has already seen the "slow" opening and something about it appealed to him.

I wouldn't hit the delete button unless/until the agent says "Oh, and could you speed up the opening a bit?"

Julie Worth · Feb 16, 2008

Beer is Yummy said:
I need some quick help! After ten rejections, agent number eleven, with a large agency in NYC, asked me for my full manuscript. Of course after the champagne popping and calls to those close to me, reality set in...

I wouldn't get all excited here, as this is just the next step in the process. It could take a number of reads of the full before you snag an agent. There's also the common psychological effect, that anytime anyone is about to read your work, all the problems become glaring. This happens to me all the time. If you can fix these things in a week or two, great. But even so, that doesn't mean the agent won't find other (and even more severe) problems that never occurred to you.

Beer is Yummy said:
The book is 135k words, and the agent knows this—a typical, if not shorter than average, length in this genre. Both of the readers remarked that if someone reads it long enough to get hooked, it’ll be a winner. It’s definitely a novel with building suspense—and characters—that takes a fast pace on the downhill slope.

FYI—it’s a military crime/suspense novel, somewhat comparable to the types of books written by Ken Follett.

What's average isn't important. An unpublished writer should keep the length down to the lower limit for any genre. And Ken Follett has written some very short novels. My advice is to go back to these two people who said it dragged (which is what they're really saying) and ask them for particulars. Most likely you have ten or twenty thousand words you could cut there without effecting the story, and get things moving faster. A novel of this type cannot drag, particularly in the opening.

Edit: Or maybe it doesn't drag, maybe you have a huge cast of characters, so that the reader doesn't connect with anyone right away, and wonders where things are going.

Twizzle · Feb 16, 2008

Beer is Yummy said:
I
Should I go in and use the delete button, early in the story, in the areas that aren’t critical?

Yes. And then yes some more.

Straka · Feb 16, 2008

My current WIP is in a similar place, after the first 50 pages (single spaced) my betas have both said the story really catches them. So I'm working on shorting that first 1/5 by shortening it, really compacting the information. I might just to a rewrite one some sections because I find pruning to much can really cut the legs out from under a section or a scene and for me it sounds better if I just focus on what the second needs and rewrite it.

good luck!

Patrick L · Feb 16, 2008

Again, THANKS for the responses. I'm new here and grateful for this tremendous "support group".

Last night I reached out to all of my readers, and just finished talking to the last one. Four were emphatic that I not start cutting, and one--a newsaper columnist--reread the first hundred pages last night and recommended only about two pages worth of cuts. She feels that it paces nicely and builds the characters and conflict steadily.

The fifth echoed the no cutting, saying that she didn't think it dragged, but that the last half moved so quickly, the first half seemed slower in comparison.

The sixth--ironically a lawyer who laughed at himself for his long legal briefs--suggested to move one climax point (not the main one) to the beginning to set the stage of what's to come. I'm going to play with this today, but am not committing to it.

All in all, I've cut out several thousand words thus far and am still at work. Thanks for the quick help--really.

Cheers!

johnzakour · Feb 16, 2008

Uncle Jim makes a good point that I don't think you ever addressed, has the agent seen the first three chapters already?

ishtar'sgate · Feb 16, 2008

James D. Macdonald said:
Did the agent request the full based on three-and-an-outline? If so, the agent has already seen the "slow" opening and something about it appealed to him.

I wouldn't hit the delete button unless/until the agent says "Oh, and could you speed up the opening a bit?"

This is exactly what I thought. I would not touch it unless the agent asks you to do some pruning.
Linnea

Patrick L · Feb 16, 2008

Sorry...I never answered that. The agent saw my query and a four page synopsis. He then asked for the full manuscript based on that.

Thanks again!

timewaster · Feb 16, 2008

Beer is Yummy said:
Excellent responses. Thanks to all.

This project has been gone over, very carefully. Until I received the request for manuscript, I was confident that it was ready, but the words haunted me (like Vincent Price.) This is why the second thoughts.

Again, thanks to each of you.

Try reading it aloud, preferably in front of an audience. Rework all the sentences that are hard to read. If you read at proper public speaking pace anything that is too slow moving drags very noticeably when read aloud and you will know exactly which paragraphs doen't work (They are the ones which you cannot make exciting and which break the pace.)

It works for me YMMV

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