Idol Audition Rules **Please Read Before Posting**

[three seven]

Please please please understand the following before submitting your entries...

1) The word limit is 700 (seven hundred) words. Counts will be checked in MS Word and all entries falling outside this limit will be deemed invalid.

2) Entries will be judged in the form in which they are submitted. Edits performed immediately* after submission will generally be overlooked, provided they are intended to correct posting errors, e.g. incomplete pasting or missing titles.

Once entries have been read and their general content noted, further edits will be ignored.

3) Ignorance of these rules will not constitute a defence!

4) Entries posted in this or any thread other than that entitled 'Welcome to Absolute Write Idol! Auditions thread (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9083)' will be ignored.

5) Your submission does not have to be a stand-alone piece. It can be a novel excerpt, a short story, an essay, an article, a poem... whatever you like. Each submission at audition stage will be judged on its own merit, and no one format will be at a disadvantage.

6) Do your best!


Good luck everyone!



*By 'immediately' we mean immediately. Like within 5 minutes.

[JennaGlatzer]

Hey folks,

There are still a bunch of entries clocking in over word count.

If I may be a wisebutt, following guidelines is an important part of being a professional writer.

The judges really are double-checking, and your entry really will be disqualified if it's not within the limits.

This is the last reminder. I'll keep it pinned.

Other rules:

One entry per writer.

You may submit a previously-published piece.

You don't have to use your real name.

Totally enjoying the entries posted so far! :)

[egracey]

Hey folks,

There are still a bunch of entries clocking in over word count.

If I may be a wisebutt, following guidelines is an important part of being a professional writer.

The judges really are double-checking, and your entry really will be disqualified if it's not within the limits.

This is the last reminder. I'll keep it pinned.

Oh, and someone asked earlier, so I'll state it definitively here: one entry per writer.

Totally enjoying the entries posted so far! :)

Book title: From Freight Trains to Airplanes (This book has been picked up by a movie producer and written into a movie script, I am now holding my breath waiting.)

A true story: Disgusted and fearing the terrible abuse from his mother using a horsewhip, confused without leadership from schools or guidance from his parents, he dropped out of school at age thirteen to go out into the world to be a “cowboy.” He traveled around the western part of the United States from early 1935 through 1939 riding freight trains, looking for any type of work for a good meal. Regardless of handicaps put on an individual early in life, with a lot of determination, a person can overcome his early life handicaps.

An excerpt from the true story: I was sitting on top of a boxcar, somewhere in California. I was fourteen years old at the time. It was getting dark, and as the train was slowly going by a town, I looked across to the houses. I saw Christmas tree lights and decorations around the eaves and in windows. I could see children playing. Tears ran down my cheeks, as I always wanted a happy Christmas Day when I was the age of those children.

Toward 11:00 a.m. the next day I could hear my stomach growling. The longer I sat there, the hungrier I got. I looked to some houses near the tracks. I'm going to ask for work so that I could earn some food, I thought. A woman came to the door. She looked me up and down. I was aware of the dirty condition of my clothes and shoes. I wanted to run, but my hunger was stronger than my shame. 'Lady, I’m awfully hungry do you have some work that I can do so that I may earn some food? She looked me up and down again. She said how does some scrambled eggs and ham sandwich sound? I said, Wow that would be great! She said wait here. She went back into the house for a short while and came out with two sandwiches, I thanked her very much for her kindness and left. I ate one and put the other in my pocket for a later time.

Some people were very kind to me and others were very mean. This taught me a lesson, treat people, as you would like to be treated.

[three seven]

Is this an addition to the rules?

[SquarePeg]

She spent the afternoon getting ready. Hair, make-up, clothes…a new French perfume with undertones of fig. Stan Bozutto, Private Detective, was taking her out. They'd met the previous week at the Mayor’s office and the sparks flew. Instant chemistry. He was tall, dark…bit of a big nose – but handsome in a goofy sort of way.

She sat on the edge of the tub painting her toenails, thinking dreamily of being taken into those big, muscular arms, the scent of his cologne, the kisses that were sure to follow.

The doorbell rang. A shiver of excitement ran through her. She fluffed her hair and licked her lips. When the door was halfway open a streaky brown blur raced past her into the house. Startled, she turned to see a tail disappearing into the living room. A dog. "Where did?"…She looked outside. Stan was on the steps holding an empty leash and a bouquet of pink carnations. He smiled that goofy smile. "I hope you don’t mind I brought DT along. We’ve been partners for so long, I figured if he likes you…"

She blinked a couple of times quick… "Okay, um, well, come on in.…What’s DT stand for?"

"Uh, Dick Tracy?"

She barked out a laugh – "Oh, right..," and led him into the living room where DT had already made himself at home on the couch. He’d rifled an expensive cracker from the display she had spent about an hour arranging and was intently licking the salt from it as he held it between his huge paws. "Oh, and these are for you!" Stan held out the flowers. Her face frozen into a smile, she murmured "How nice, let me just get a vase. Can I get you a drink?" "Beer’s good," he answered, gazing softly at DT.

She stormed into the kitchen. "Carnations!" her mind roared, "I hate carnations! How cheesy can you get? Might as well be wadded up toilet paper on sticks!" She shoved them into a vase, opened a beer and poured herself a glass of wine.

Rounding the corner to the living room, she caught Stan on his knees in front of the dog. Each of them had opposite ends of the same cracker in their mouths. Stan spotted her, gave a sheepish shrug, and releasing his end of the cracker, stood up to accept the beer. "A new trick we’re working on, huh buddy…"

DT demolished the cracker in a drooling shower of crumbs, thumped his tail, and proceeded to lap loudly at his balls. "Oh my God," she thought, "Stan has to say something. This cannot be happening. We should have just met for coffee…"

She glanced at Stan. He was troweling a huge wad of goat cheese onto a cracker. The cracker snapped in half and he crammed it into his mouth. He began to chew and talk at the same time. She was momentarily hynotized by the glistening lumps of cracker and cheese tumbling as he spoke. Some fell out, ricocheted off his chest and into the gaping maw of DT. Stan kept talking.

"Excuse me," she burst, " you've gotta go. I...this has been a mistake. I’m really sorry, but you have go now. Please don’t call me, I won’t be around."

[three seven]

DO NOT POST HERE. ALL AUDITION PIECES POSTED HERE ARE AND WILL BE DISQUALIFIED.

[SquarePeg]

Okay, I'm new and stumped. How do I post in the proper IDOL thread?

[Duncan J Macdonald]

Okay, I'm new and stumped. How do I post in the proper IDOL thread?

Moderators can move things. Mere mortals can't. I'd recommend the following:
1) Open your post with the "Edit" button
2) Highlight your text
3) Right click on the text and choose "Copy"
4) Open the Entry Thread entitled 'Welcome to Absolute Write Idol! Auditions thread (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9083)'.
5) Open a new post with the "Reply to Thread" button.
6) Right click in the text box and choose "Paste"

The above instructions assume a Windows Operating system. No gerbils were harmed in the writing of this post. Offer void in Lake Champlain, Oswego, and Hassabamtacook County. I could be wrong. I'm Not a Lawyer, But I Do Resemble A Large Panda Bear, If The Light Is Right