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Plot Device
01-25-2008, 04:23 PM
I just keep deleting them. I do have Spam Guard, but a few sometimes slip through. I've had THREE offers so far this week to enhance my penis size (even though I haven't got a penis), and my ninth request to temporarilly steward $20 million dollars for some small African nation that's currently suffering a military coup.

But then I got a NEW one today:


FROM: "MICROSOFT LOTTERY" <mslotto@microcamp.com.br>
Subject: CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE WON THE MICROSOFT EMAIL LOTTERY.
Date: Fri, 25 Jan 2008 00:54:51 -0800

CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE WON THE MICROSOFT EMAIL LOTTERY.
ATTACHMENTS BELOW IS YOUR WINNER PRIZE INFORMATION VIEW THE PROCEDURES ON HOW TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE.

YOURS SINCERELY,

MICROSOFT CO-OPERATION MANAGEMENT



Me thinks Bill Gates would take issue with this one.

Jersey Chick
01-25-2008, 04:49 PM
In the past two weeks, aside from the penis enhancements, which I also really don't need, I've won two European lotteries and one London lottery. Nigeria's given up on me, it seems.

Oh, and I've gotten spams for all sorts of Canadian drugs as well. It's been a busy week.

My gmail spam filter is great, but my website email doesn't have a filter - so that's where all the garbage collects. I go in a few times a week, chuckle, roll my eyes, and clean it out.

DaddyCat
01-25-2008, 06:19 PM
Thanks to the mad-dog approach of both Comcast and Outlook 2007, I rarely get spam anymore, but the last ones I actually saw had to do with Rolex watches (or in their words, r0leX watches.) My favorites were the phishing emails "from" eBay or PayPal, complete with no logo graphics, numerous misspellings, "Engrish" grammar and links to an IP address instead of their domains.

RumpleTumbler
01-25-2008, 06:27 PM
As popular as the penis enlargement ad is there must be lots of guys with itty bitty dongs.

It would be wildly entertaining for them to all publish their client lists. ;)

CaroGirl
01-25-2008, 06:41 PM
I just refreshed my email and received two pretty representative spam emails:

Subject: Teach your woman obediency!
Easy to get male package <URL>

Subject: auhelos
greeting
Strong man power. Prepare for winter!
<URL>

Hmm. Which looks the most promising?

Jersey Chick
01-25-2008, 08:26 PM
I got one of those eBay emails regarding my account - they needed to update their info on me and I better update it ASAP.

Trouble is, not only don't I have an eBay account, I have never actually even been on the eBay site.

Williebee
01-25-2008, 08:36 PM
I maintain mail servers and filtering for a number of schools.

We block right at 98% of all SPAM these days. (knock wood)

Along with the usual body part and virility enhancement ads, and the "you've just wons" we are recently seeing a rise in emails that are written in foreign languages (Japanese, Cyrillic and other character forms.)

They probably tell me that I can have 90% of some guys bank account if I'll just give them my social and bank account info.

Williebee
01-25-2008, 08:38 PM
Here's my favorite "soapbox" (http://info.org.il/irrelevant/may02-smilepop-soapbox4.swf) on email

JoNightshade
01-25-2008, 08:56 PM
Aw, I should have saved the one I got the other day. Mostly it's just the usual penis enlargement (uh, don't have one, don't want one...) and what have you, but this one was really creative. It was from this Russian woman who was really quite poetic about how lonely she was and how she was dreaming of her soulmate. Apparently she had gotten the idea that I was the person to quench her longing. Too bad I'm female and married, but the letter was really quite eloquent. :)

benbradley
01-25-2008, 09:05 PM
Firstly, I am of the opinion that there is no "good" spam email.

I got one of those eBay emails regarding my account - they needed to update their info on me and I better update it ASAP.

Trouble is, not only don't I have an eBay account, I have never actually even been on the eBay site.
It's the economics. Sending 90 million emails costs no more than sending one email (especially the way spammers do it, they don't send them all directly from their own computers - they hack into and take over OTHER computers to help disguise the origin as well as distribute the load), so these things are shotgunned to every address they can scrape knowing that only a moderate percentage will have ebay accounts, and only a small percentage of those will click on the link and "log in" (giving the spammer their ebay password) without realizing it's a scam.

Most people probably know by now most of the answers to these questios about spam (such as "should I hit remove?"), but it may still be interesting to review it. Like the Boulder Pledge link, this webpage is basically unchanged from when I first saw it ten years ago:

http://spam.abuse.net/overview/

Here's my favorite "soapbox" (http://info.org.il/irrelevant/may02-smilepop-soapbox4.swf) on email
Cute. And this one (an article from the now-years-defunct print magazine "Yahoo! Internet Life"), Roger Ebert's Boulder Pledge, is over ten years old (that's MILLENIA in the life of the Internet!). If you have relatives and friends that pass on various crap/chain letter emails to you, answer them back with THIS link (perhaps even copy/paste the text into the email, in case they all of a sudden hear "Don't click on links in emails"):
http://www.panix.com/~tbetz/boulder.shtml

CaroGirl
01-25-2008, 09:05 PM
Aw, I should have saved the one I got the other day. Mostly it's just the usual penis enlargement (uh, don't have one, don't want one...) and what have you, but this one was really creative. It was from this Russian woman who was really quite poetic about how lonely she was and how she was dreaming of her soulmate. Apparently she had gotten the idea that I was the person to quench her longing. Too bad I'm female and married, but the letter was really quite eloquent. :)
I got that one too! It was so beautiful I very nearly clicked the link.

Storm Dream
01-25-2008, 10:15 PM
I just refreshed my email and received two pretty representative spam emails:

Subject: Teach your woman obediency!
Easy to get male package <URL>

Subject: auhelos
greeting
Strong man power. Prepare for winter!
<URL>

Hmm. Which looks the most promising?

Wow! Is auhelos a fan of the Martin series?

"Strong man power" is going to be my quote of the day.

I once got one suggesting I was the heir to some long-lost throne in Asia, and if I would just give them some personal information they could arrange for a flight to the country in question. While I was all for re-enacting my "Princess Diaries" fantasy of becoming a glamorous leader, I...deleted it.

Gravity
01-26-2008, 01:30 AM
For some reason my yahoo bulk mail account keeps getting ads from strangely-named women for "Canadian medications" (no, not those kind; real meds, evidently). WHY do I get these? Do I look sick? C'mon, you can tell me...

SouthernFriedJulie
01-26-2008, 03:48 AM
I don't know, but the AARP has been after me since I turned 30. First email on my 30th birthday.

Talk about a downer.

imagoodgurl4
01-29-2008, 02:42 PM
I got two in one day. First, I got a Nigerian Scam letter asking me to please help out some man and his business associates in transferring money to my bank account and then I could take my 15% commission while they kept the rest. And it had to remain a secret because they didn't want to get in trouble. I checked the email headers and forwarded it to their email provider requesting they shut this person's account down. I think they gave them a hefty fine for spamming, lol.

And then I got an African Lottery Scam Letter that said I'd won a bunch of money and tickets to the Soccer Cup Finals in Africa next year. I had to keep it quiet thought until I received my winnings. You know how anxious people are to win an international lottery. ;) Only thing? I had to provide my name, address, place of employment, SS#, my yearly salary, birthdate, and my driver's license number. Now I try not to knock people who get taken in by scams, but if you have to give out all that information for a contest, you're asking for identity theft.

I was quite tempted to respond with a rather wordy email that gave my thoughts on the subject as well as something along the lines of, "Get a real job, a-hole, and earn your money and stop thinking you're entitled to mine." But again, I just reported it. Not sure what happened with that one, though.

cletus
01-29-2008, 06:05 PM
I just received one with the title:

Works So Good, You will Poke Your Eye out...guarenteed

I don't really need it that big.

Dawno
01-29-2008, 06:59 PM
My spammer has discovered the secret to time travel:

WARNING !!
You must update
Your Account Immediately Please Click Here


*Important*
Please update your records on or before 48 hours, a failure to update your records will result in a temporal hold on your funds.

Plot Device
01-31-2008, 07:58 PM
My spammer has discovered the secret to time travel:


That "temporal hold" will get you every time! :D

Plot Device
01-31-2008, 08:01 PM
Here's the latest. :D The spelling is outrageous! The words utterly incomprehensible!


Date: Thu, 31 Jan 2008 01:22:57 +0000
From: "Gbur Kipple" <adoptianism@cheerforum.com>
To:
Subject: bushing

Aloha,

Downloadabble Softwaare<clikc link>


Gown, than you were the last time i saw you? The have it?
there was nobody there to say anything rachel was always
right, rachel always knew best, say. Major blunt. There
is something that glitters then: ^yes dazzled' — cover her
face. . .. Mine bears oil take of good sweet lard oil,quart
bergamot,ounce from friend, foe, or faction. Footnote: governor
great stroke was a programme for harmonizing all yellow
antimonic acidparts, subsulphate of ironpart, threatens,
my number is up, and incidentally richard's.

Project nachonaco
02-03-2008, 08:46 PM
It's from a guy named Portman Friedberg...Who apparently speaks Mandarin (I think it's Mandarin dialect?)

Ni hao,


DDownloadable Softwarre


The younger one married an actress and then smashed kind,
remarked poirot. Though they can sometimes forming almost
a circle round the central isle. Achieved. Johanna (quickly).
come, let us fly! Of the garment in her lap and reaching
for a spool standing upright upon them. Then to the s.s.w.
away smiling from the keen scrutiny of those wonderful that
in the name of the people he accepted the like good japanese
citizens, remain in our lofty done. Theerbody must not be
moved, steward. Yes,.

-

There has to be a way to fit that in my novel.

xhouseboy
02-03-2008, 09:14 PM
It was from this Russian woman who was really quite poetic about how lonely she was and how she was dreaming of her soulmate. Apparently she had gotten the idea that I was the person to quench her longing. Too bad I'm female and married, but the letter was really quite eloquent. :)

She must have got our email addresses mixed up.

That was actually meant for me, and I finally received it. She met me on a dating site, or saw my profile on it, or something like that. Apparently she loved how sensitive and caring I was, and I was nothing like the Russian guys she was used to. And could we perhaps start corresponding with a view to getting together at some point in the future.

I didn't take her up on her offer. But that was a wake-up call for me, and I'll be forever in her debt.

I'm now being treated for the early onset of dementia. And I'm hoping I've caught it in time. It could have been much much worse.

Alexandra Little
02-04-2008, 05:01 AM
This isn't spam, but one of the google adds on this site--

"Local Silnges"

You think they'd check, so that the company would be getting their money's worth.

threedogpeople
02-05-2008, 07:40 AM
This isn't spam, but one of the google adds on this site--

"Local Silnges"

You think they'd check, so that the company would be getting their money's worth.

Google 'adds' snicker....


I think the funniest spam are the ones offering to "cleanse my colon". As if some marketing bozo knows whether my colon needs cleaning.

Alexandra Little
02-06-2008, 10:32 PM
Google 'adds' snicker....

extra letters courtesy of Alexandra's Ad Placement--"You Pay Us for a Service No One Takes Seriously"

kathyhermy123
02-12-2008, 04:45 AM
Insane people, spammers. Look at this:

Dear sir/mrs.
I am Mrs Aminata Sheriff an Iraqi Woman, We are a
family of three,
My husband and one of my sister are dead in the city
as a result of the cold war going on in my country.
Before the death of my husband , he deposited huge
amount
of money with a Bank in Burkina Faso where he had
wanted us to go and live till the war is over.

Now that my husband is dead ,I need a business partner
who can help me to claim and use the fund he
deposited in Africa for business purposes any where .
I will like you to keep this proposal as a top secret
because of the fear that I might be killed if my
Government happens to know about this ,
based on the reason that my late husband was among
the
Government officials in Iraq. I am away from the city
where there no
electricity and telephone communication ,you can
only reach me through E-mail.aminata_sher@myway.com

I will be expecting to receive your positive response
to my proposal
Thanks for your anticipated help
Mrs Aminata Sheriff.

What's the bet that her oh-so-wise 'husband' invested all his money in Nigeria?

Someone saw Iraq, and saw an opportunity to get money from someone else's pity. How sad is that.

~Kathy

imagoodgurl4
02-12-2008, 06:36 AM
Here's one I got yesterday.

Hello.

This letter may come to you as a surprise due to the fact that we have not yet met. I have to say that I have no intentions of causing you any pains so i decided to contact you through this medium.

As you read this, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because, I believe everyone will die someday. My name is Bala Sade, a merchant in Dubai, in the U.A.E. I have been diagnosed with prostate and esophageal Cancer that was discovered very late due to my laxity in caring for my health. It has defiled all form of medicine and right now, I have only about a few months to live according to medical experts.

I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone not even myself but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focus on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe if i have a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it. Now that I know my time is near, I have willed and given most of my properties and assets to my immediate and extended family members and as well as a few close friends and Schools in the UAE. I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E, England and Ireland. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this my self any more. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and donate the money, which I have there to charity organization in Bulgaria, they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them. The last of my money which is the huge cash that I deposit in a bank in England Uk.

I want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatched it to charity organizations and let them know that it is I Bala Sade that is making this generous donation.

I am writing this from my laptop computer in my hospital bed in England where I wait for my time to come. If you are interested to help me i will give you more information about this like the amount that i deposited in the bank and Contact of the bank so you can contact them. I will also send you pictures of my self when in the hospital.

Note that you will take 20% out of the funds and give 80% to the charity organizations. I pray that God uses you to support and assist me with good heart God be with you.

If you can help respond back to me on my private email: balasade17@strompost.com
Bala Sade

He might not have intentions of causing me pain...but he does have intentions of stealing my money. Seriously, does this guy expect me to believe he'd trust a total stranger with all his money over his own family? I bet this is what the PublishAmerica executives do in their spare time to get extra money.

xhouseboy
02-12-2008, 09:17 PM
I am writing this from my laptop computer in my hospital bed in England where I wait for my time to come. If you are interested to help me i will give you more information about this like the amount that i deposited in the bank and Contact of the bank so you can contact them. I will also send you pictures of my self when in the hospital.



Find out what hospital he's in, and I'll motor on down there and pick it up on your behalf.

And if he's not got his cheque book handy, I'll even run him to his bank if he's fit enough to crawl out his death bed.

imagoodgurl4
02-14-2008, 02:58 AM
Sounds good....I'll even give you a cut of my cut..how's that sound? Of course, it'll take too long to clear from England here in the U.S., so you just deposit it in your bank, keep your cut, and send the rest of the cash to me. Sound good? Okay. I'm j/k. :D

I mean, really, they have wills in England. If he's so rich, why not hire a lawyer to write his will leaving all his money to charity? What does he need to involve me for? People must really think I'm stupid. I mean, I can almost solve a Rubick's cube...how dumb can I be? :tongue

Daehota
02-17-2008, 01:19 AM
My Spam filter works pretty well, too, but this last week I found one waiting for me in my "Junk Mail" file. It was for a "Jackrabbit Vibrator"

How'd they know I was lonely?

Plot Device
03-21-2008, 04:25 AM
Okay, here's the latest. Good old Hans Becker from The World Bank dropped me a line today. But don't tell anyone I told you --poor Hans insists that I need to keep all of this confidential:

Hello,

Greetings to you and your household, with due respect, I apologies for intrusion into your privacy, as I wish this does not constitute any sort of embarrassment to you. I am Hans Becker, a staff of The World Bank. I am seeking your assistance in a legitimate business transaction running into $14.8 million USD. For further details as to the work ability of this transaction.

Please provide me with your:
name:
address:
telephone and fax numbers
Age & Occupation.

And I will provide further details and instructions. Please keep this confidential as we can't afford any political problems arising during the course of execution of this transaction. I shall however leave out the final details of this transaction until I receive an affirmation of your desire to participate. Please do not overlook this email.

Sincerely,

Hans Becker.

giusti
03-23-2008, 09:13 AM
ATTN: Your computer has been infected with the Polish Virus. Please manually delete your hard drive.

Plot Device
04-04-2008, 06:13 PM
Ah. Here's the latest. This one has a much more poignant back-story to it (a family died in a plane crash).

BTW -- Why is it ALWAYS an AFRICAN bank????

Dear friend,

I am mr. Colins morgan, the auditing and accountant manager of (b.o.a)
bank of africa inb ouagadougou republic of burkina faso. I am
contacting you on a business transfer of a huge sum of money from a deceased
account. Though i know that a transaction of this magnitude will make any
one apprehensive and worried, but i am assuring you that all will be
well at the end of the day. I decided to contact you due to the urgency
of this transaction.

Proposition;

I discovered an abandoned sum of us$10,500,000.00 (ten million five
hundred thousand united states dollars) in an account that belongs to one
of our foreign customers who died in a plane crash along with his
entire family. Since his death, none of his next-of-kin or relations has
come forward to lay claims for this money as the heir. We cannot release
the fund from his account unless someone applies for claim as the
next-of-kin to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines. Upon
this discovery, i now seek your permission to have you stand as a next of
kin to the deceased as all cumentations will be carefully worked out
by us for the funds (us$10,500,000.00) to be released in your favour
as the beneficiary's next of kin. It may interest you to know that we
have secured from the probate an order of mandamus to locate any of
deceased beneficiaries.

Please acknowledge the receipt of this message in acceptance of our
mutual business endeavour by furnishing me with the following;

1. Beneficiary name and address
2. Direct telephone and fax numbers

These requirements will enable us file letter of claim to the
appropriate departments for necessary approvals in your favour before the
transfer can be made. I shall be compensating you with 30% of the total fund
on final conclusion of this project, while the rest shall be for us
for investment purposes in your country that you will propose to us.

Please reply as soon as possible.( mrcomorgan101@yahoo.fr ) tel
+226-76334818

Yours sincerely
Mr.colins morgan.

dobiwon
04-04-2008, 06:52 PM
I assume I'm not the only one, but I got several emails three days ago (on April 1) with the title: APRIL FOOL'S DAY, where the message was just:
"Happy April Fool's Day", followed by a link.

I just couldn't wait to see what was at that link! RIGHT!

icerose
04-04-2008, 07:20 PM
The funniest (ie pathetic) one I ever recieved, but didn't keep, was a spam letter that had a page of a person's novel. And it was REALLY bad. But it was obviously a story. Then they had an order now link, it was a PA book, but I never checked. Man it was awful and it was back in the day when they were suggesting to spam people.

benbradley
04-04-2008, 08:56 PM
The funniest (ie pathetic) one I ever recieved, but didn't keep, was a spam letter that had a page of a person's novel. And it was REALLY bad. But it was obviously a story. Then they had an order now link, it was a PA book, but I never checked. Man it was awful and it was back in the day when they were suggesting to spam people.
Some of my earliest spams, circa 1996, were "Joe and Tom" stories (maybe not Joe and Tom, but two guys' names). They weren't selling anything, there was no contact info (maybe the From: address actually got back to the author, but of course I didn't check that or even think of doing that), each spam was just a couple pages' worth of some adventure story the two guys went through. Seems like I got maybe four of them over a period of several months. Apparently some guy saw spamming as a form of self-publishing...

icerose
04-04-2008, 09:31 PM
Some of my earliest spams, circa 1996, were "Joe and Tom" stories (maybe not Joe and Tom, but two guys' names). They weren't selling anything, there was no contact info (maybe the From: address actually got back to the author, but of course I didn't check that or even think of doing that), each spam was just a couple pages' worth of some adventure story the two guys went through. Seems like I got maybe four of them over a period of several months. Apparently some guy saw spamming as a form of self-publishing...

The worst part about it is the writing sucks so bad it's painful and near hard impossible to follow. I think I got those as well a few times. Nothing like people hand delivering their stories for free and calling them published and read.

ACEnders
04-04-2008, 09:49 PM
My gmail spam filter is great, .

Yup, mine too. I love gmail! I never get any email in my inbox unless it's from someone viable, someone I know.

I am a proponant for gmail.

Google and Apple are conspiring to take over the world.

Higgins
04-08-2008, 05:10 PM
I just keep deleting them. I do have Spam Guard, but a few sometimes slip through. I've had THREE offers so far this week to enhance my penis size (even though I haven't got a penis), and my ninth request to temporarilly steward $20 million dollars for some small African nation that's currently suffering a military coup.

But then I got a NEW one today:




Me thinks Bill Gates would take issue with this one.

Don't be looser increase the size of your big dady.

chevbrock
04-13-2008, 05:19 PM
I got one today from Dicko Dicko Dickinson, or some person of that nature. Poor fella must've had a hard time growing up...

StoryMonkey
04-16-2008, 04:55 PM
I feel so bad that you people are such doubting Thomas'. I collected millions from African people who were just trying to protect their family fortune by converting it to dollars and putting it in the bank account of someone they have never met (but is clearly trustworthy, with a name like 'StoryMonkey').

It didn't turn out that well though, since the American dollar is now worth less than the original currency. Too bad about that. I would sent it back to them, but the postage is worth more than the dollars in the envelope...

... thats a complete dramatization of course...

Plot Device
08-13-2008, 10:13 PM
Here's another gem. These guys really need to run their spelling and grammar check before sending them out.

I love how "my e-mail have emerged me a winner."


From: "Google Online Promo © 2008" <anniversarydraw@googlemail.com>

To: undisclosed-recipients

Attn: Googler,

GOOGLE ANNIVERSARY GIVE-AWAY WINNING NOTIFICATION!!!

This E-mail is to inform you that your e-mail have emerged you a winner of
£500,000.00 GBP (Five Hundred Thousand British Pounds) in our online Give-away
1Oth year Anniversary draws.

GoogleUK has successfully organized for the second time a Cash Give-Away
marking 2008 10th Anniversary in the UK. Over £20,000,000.00 (Twenty Million
British pounds) is to be given out for this Anniversary Draws.

No purchases of tickets were required. Participants for the draws were
randomly selected from a world wide range of web searchers who use the Google
search engine (Googler) and other Google ancillary services. Google is now the
biggest search engine worldwide and in an effort to make sure that it remains
the most widely used search engine, Google is running an e-mail beta test.
Your email address was linked with our Computer Generated Profile Numbers
(CGPN) and attached to the

following details: Ticket number: 008695733664 / Serial numbers: /
BTD/8070447706/06 / Lucky numbers: 12-12-23-35-40-41(12) / (CGPN)
7-22-71-00-66-12 was picked among our lucky winners to receive £500, 000.00
British pounds.

Winners were selected randomly through a computer ballot system from worldwide
users of the Google search engine.

YOUR WINNING DETAILS ARE AS FOLLOW:
Computer Generated Profile Numbers (CGPN):7-22-71-00-66-12
Ticket number: 00869575733664
Serial numbers: / BTD/8070447706/06
Lucky numbers: 12-12-23-35-40-41(12)

To claim your give-away prize, send the following
Your full names................. ,
sex...............................,
Location............................
Alternate e-mail address..................
Your winning details.................
To your processing agent (Mr. Francis Henson) who have been assigned to handle
your winning file and payment processing.

Your Processing Agent contact:
Mr. Francis Henson,
Email: promotion.winners@googlemail.com
We wish you the best of luck as you spend your good fortune. Thank you for
using Google.
Sincerely,
Mrs Jessi Squier

regdog
08-13-2008, 11:13 PM
I hardly ever get spam. Reading all that I'm missing, i'm starting to feel left out. :e2bummed:

regdog
08-13-2008, 11:18 PM
My Spam filter works pretty well, too, but this last week I found one waiting for me in my "Junk Mail" file. It was for a "Jackrabbit Vibrator"

How'd they know I was lonely?



:roll::roll::roll::roll::roll::roll::roll::roll::r oll::roll::roll:

:ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::R OFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROF L:

kristi26
08-13-2008, 11:22 PM
I get tons of spam every single day. It's so bad that if I didn't delete it, I would have close to 1,000 spam emails by the end of 24 hours. My favorites are these:

1) First prize has to go to Panda Research. I'm not sure what it entails, but it sure is intriguing.

2) Advertisements for black singles, Christian singles, senior singles, and crushmail. I'm apparently very popular. I had no idea. But shucks, I'm married. :D

3) I've also won all sorts of gift cards: Walmart, Victoria's Secret, Lowes, Kmart, Target, JC Penney, Sears, Blockbuster...the list goes on and on.

SunriseSunset
08-14-2008, 04:25 PM
I LOVE the bank ones that say that I must update my records immediately/there's been a security breach. HELLO Mr. Spammer, I'm not even with that bank!

My other favourite was one from a man in Nigeria who was begging for me to send him money otherwise he would be forced to strap a bomb to his chest...of course all his problems would be solved if I sent him hundreds of pounds. I "accidentally" deleted the email and never heard from him again.

Finally a snail-mail scam from a psychic who wanted to help my dad win the lottery. I LOVED that one because it was pages and pages of referrals by Susie/Greg from Birmingham/London saying that they'd won it big after getting the psychic's special reading. Of course the psychic didn't sent it to just ANYONE, my dad was specially chosen. Finally at the end of the email she asked for £10 so the reading and numbers could be sent to us. It's sad because there's thousands of people who fell for that and now that old cow, if she even exists, is rolling in cash.

Gravity
08-15-2008, 01:27 AM
A year or so ago I came across a website where some guy actually turned the tables on one of those Nigerian scams. It tooks months, and was brilliant, as well as hilarious. Man, I wish I could recall the link.

benbradley
08-15-2008, 03:34 AM
A year or so ago I came across a website where some guy actually turned the tables on one of those Nigerian scams. It tooks months, and was brilliant, as well as hilarious. Man, I wish I could recall the link.
Was it The P-P-P-Powerbook (http://www.zug.com/pranks/powerbook/)?
Or maybe it was The Church of The Painted Breast (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/3887493.stm)?

These people make doing this a pastime:
http://www.419eater.com/

Jersey Chick
08-15-2008, 08:31 AM
I got one in my Gmail spam folder - the header that I can see is MSNBC alert that says: "Japanese Prime Minister Denies WWII Happened"

Huh?

chevbrock
08-15-2008, 09:03 AM
Gravity, I think there's a link somewhere around here about that scam. The recipient got the scammer to hand-write an entire Harry Potter book. I remember someone here had a link to it. It was pure gold!

benbradley
08-15-2008, 10:08 PM
Gravity, I think there's a link somewhere around here about that scam. The recipient got the scammer to hand-write an entire Harry Potter book. I remember someone here had a link to it. It was pure gold!
Oh, THAT one!
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=108074

JoeEkaitis
08-15-2008, 11:44 PM
I particularly enjoy the current batch of outrageous fake news headlines in the subject line and body:

Subject: Paris Hilton disfigured in crash.

Obama photographed in Iran mosque.

Ciera_
09-04-2008, 06:42 AM
I use hotmail and I swear I NEVER get junk mail. the only thing that ever even goes in my junk folder is stuff I am expecting and WANT. I must be doing something right ^^

euclid
09-05-2008, 02:28 AM
The younger one married an actress and then smashed kind,
remarked poirot. Though they can sometimes forming almost
a circle round the central isle. Achieved. Johanna (quickly).
come, let us fly! Of the garment in her lap and reaching
for a spool standing upright upon them. Then to the s.s.w.
away smiling from the keen scrutiny of those wonderful that
in the name of the people he accepted the like good japanese
citizens, remain in our lofty done. Theerbody must not be
moved, steward. Yes,.

There has to be a way to fit that in my novel.

That whole paragraph has been stolen from my WIP. Word for word! Except the word 'lap' has been spelled wrong, obviously. So don't you ddare put it in yours.
:ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL:

Cathy C
09-05-2008, 05:52 AM
My latest favorite was the subject line of a perfectly legitimate ad from Victoria's Secret. But I couldn't stop laughing. It just SCREAMED "I'm the title of a horror short story! Use me!"

The subject line?

"The Bra You CANNOT Live Without!"

:ROFL:

Troo
09-08-2008, 05:08 PM
I have an email sitting in my spam folder which I'm afraid to open. The subject line is "Thunder fountain!"

Erm... I think I'll pass, thanks...

SunriseSunset
09-16-2008, 04:59 AM
I use hotmail and I swear I NEVER get junk mail. the only thing that ever even goes in my junk folder is stuff I am expecting and WANT. I must be doing something right ^^

Mine is the opposite. I'm always getting free cinema tickets and diet patch offers. :rant:

mario_c
09-25-2008, 09:22 AM
Love the Spam Poetry! Those long passages of what appears to be a badly translated romance novel. I tried to collect some in a word file as a joke once, and had to reformat my HD. Yes I was using Norton. Word to the wise...

As a mid-level drone in the call center, we also answer customer emails. Yep, guess who has to clean out the junk build up?! There is something out there called Synonym Spam, which keeps auto-substituting words of the same definition. Just in case this isn't stupid enough:

Girls laughed at my small penis, until I discovered the Secret.

Why he's walking around with his thing on display, and no one arrests or beats him is beside the point. So I have to look at and delete all of the following:

Girls GIGGLED at my LITTLE MEMBER
Girls TEEHEED at my WEE FRIEND
Girls SNICKERED at my MINISCULE DORK
Girls GUFFAWED at my INSIGNIFICANT PEEPEE
Girls HOHOed at my SLIGHT WEENER

Repeat until brain explodes...

GeorgieB
09-25-2008, 06:31 PM
Before I switched to gmail, I would save the names of the spammer for use as character names. Now, I don't get any more and am running out of names.

(That's NOT a suggestion to spam me, but I do miss the opportunities to: increase my personal size, increase my personal bank account, keep it up for up to 4 hours (just keep your EMT number handy!), and all those other promised goodies.)

Deccydiva
09-26-2008, 04:12 PM
A trick which has appeared recently is that the sender has requested a receipt. Possibly to see if the email address is valid? Luckily, mine is set to ask me first.

Darzian
09-28-2008, 10:09 PM
I was told that my credit card was about to expire, and that I had to send all data about it to them to renew it.


It just so happens that, I don't have a credit card.

Plot Device
09-29-2008, 05:19 AM
I was told that my credit card was about to expire, and that I had to send all data about it to them to renew it.


It just so happens that, I don't have a credit card.


That's even funnier than not having a penis.








::ETA::

*Plot Device suddenly realizes that the oh-so-brief wise-crack in this very post is SOOOOOOO capable of being taken the wrong way.*



What I mean by that is:


On the one hand ... I got a generic e-mail sent as a mass-mailing to ANY male recipient, offering penis enhancement. Said penis enhancement offer made no pretense to be anything other than an impersonal mass-mailing. And yet I am without a penis (because I'm female) so that mass-mailing e-mail was not suitable for me.

But on the other hand ... your e-mail was sent by a "company" feigning the pretense to actually know who you are and to have an established client relationship with you, and therefore pretending to have sent the e-mail as a confidential client communication. But of course that was not the case. No such one-on-one individualized client relationship exists between you and them. So THAT is what is so funny


*Plot Device hopes that was a good enough save.*






.

Darzian
09-29-2008, 06:42 AM
I'm sure someone out of the millions they likely emailed would have done as they asked. And that's what they're after.

shyne
09-30-2008, 01:45 AM
If I offered you a great deal on pharmaceutical grade diuretics, would that be something you'd be interested in?

Ken
09-30-2008, 01:58 AM
I've been getting ones from Apple ever since their new Ipods or whatever came out.
Pretty annoying and I don't even know how I got on their list.

justme
10-10-2008, 12:28 AM
Woo hoo, I won!

Attn Winner.

You won 550,000.00 Euros in an Email Award, held on the 09th October
2008 in Es.We write to officially notify you of this award and to
advise you to Contact your claim agent,

Mr.Jaime Halbert.
Email:infocarfer@netscape.net
Tel:+34 691 955 349

Your full Names:
Fax/Telephone:
Age:


REFERENCE NUMBER: LSLUK/2031/8156/06
BATCH NUMBER: 15/051/IPD/ES
Lucky Number: 10-23-44-72-80


Yours faithfully,
Mrs.Lorna Mellor
Winning Co-ordinator.

MaryMumsy
10-13-2008, 05:42 AM
Got this just now. I guess after I won all that money from Nokia, I'll need a loan to pay the taxes with.:roll:

NOKIA COMMUNICATIONS
1O4TH NOKIA DRIVE.
STAMFORD BRIDGE LONDON
SW1V 3DW UNITED KINGDOM.


THE NOKIA 2008 ONLINE LOTTERY PROMO
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the first online promotion conducted
by Nokia Communications, your email was among the 30 Lucky winners who
won &pound;1,000,000(One Million Great Britain Pound Sterling) each on the NOKIA

CONNECTING PEOPLE PROMOTION.


You were entered as an independent candidate and your email was attached to
ticket number (7PWYZ2006) and ballot number (BT:12052006/20) The online
draws was conducted by a random selection of email addresses from an
exclusive list of 100,000,00 E-mail addresses of individuals and mobile phone
users picked by an advanced automated random computer search from the
internet. However, no tickets were sold but all email addresses were assigned to
different ticket numbers for representation and privacy.

The selection process was carried out through random selection in our
computerized email selection machine (TOPAZ) from a database of over
250,000,000 email addresses drawn from all the continents of the world.This
Lottery is approved by the British Gaming Board and also Licensed by the The
International Association of Gaming Regulators (IAGR). This lottery is the 1st of
its kind and we intend to sensitize the public.In order to claim your &pound;1,000,000.00
(One Million Great Britain Pound Sterling) prize winning, which has been
deposited in a designated bank. However, You will have to fill the form below and
send it to the Promotion manager of NOKIA CONNECTING PEOPLE 2007 PROMO.
for verification and then you will be directed on how you can claim your winning
funds.


NAME:................................
AGE:.................................
SEX:.................................
ADDRESS:.............................
PHONE:...............................
OCCUPATION:..........................
COMPANY:.............................
STATE................................
COUNTRY:.............................
NATIONALITY..........................
Winning Email Address:...............

Please you are advised to complete the form and send it immediately to our
Promotion manager through email for prompt collection of your fund.

(CONTACT PROMOTION MANAGER)


Name: Dr. Samule Walter
Email:nokiacommunication@nokiacommunication.online .net.tc
Telephone No:+447031904888
Fax: +44706494785

You are to keep all Nokia lottery information away from the general public
especially your ticket number and ballot number. (This is important as a case of
double claims will not be entertained) NOTICE: Verification claims with error or
any misinformation as regards filling for claims payment will be dishonored and
disqualified as abuse to our Policy Terms and Services. This is in accordance
with section 13(1) (n) of theNational Gambling Act as adopted in 1993 and
amended on 3rd July 1996 by the constitutional assembly. Be thus informed.


*Staff of Nokia Communications Worldwide are not to partake in this Lottery.

Accept my hearty congratulations once again!


Yours faithfully,
Mrs. Gracey Anderson.
(Online Coordinator

Dear Customer,
I am Investor William Keith, I am a private loan lender.we give out loans at 3% interest rate and I give out local and international loans to via account transfer AND CERTIFY BANK CHECK to all destination countries in the world. Are you in need of a loan of any purpose?, Do you want to pay your bills?, Are you in a financial predicament?, Do you need a finance for your business? we give out loans to serious clients that are straight forward provided they are willing to take the oath of trust that they will not run away with our money. we give out loans ranging from ($1,000 to 50,000,000) at a consentionary interest rate. We give out loan without any collateral, and no risk involved. If you are interested in getting a loan from my firm, contact me by forwarding the following details.
============================================
* Applicant Full Names:.................
* Applicant Contact Address........................
* Phone No.............................
* Mobile Phone:.......................
* Country:..........................
* Age:...............................
* Gender:...................Married>...........Divorced?..........
* Amount Required As Loan...........................
* Proposed / year interested..........................
* monthly Income in place of work:..........................
* Company owed if any:..........................
* Position in place of work:....................
* Occupation:..........................
* Alternative email:...........................
all reply should be sent via this Email:
investorwilliamkeith@live.com
Regards,
INVESTOR WILLIAMS KEITH (CEO)
(WILLIAMS KEITH INVESTMENT)

MaryMumsy
10-13-2008, 11:52 PM
Man, am I popular! Here is today's offering:

http://www.commonwealth-towns.net/members/nigeria/nigeria_fl_md_clr.gif http://www.greatestcities.com/6272tpic/191/TCP20191.gif/coatofarm-ajongbo.gif http://www.commonwealth-towns.net/members/nigeria/nigeria_fl_md_clr.gif

OFFICE OF THE DIRECTOR OF OPERATION
INTERNATIONAL CREDIT SETTLEMENT.

Attn;

THIS IS TO OFFICIALLY INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR CONTRACT /INHERITANCE FILE AND FOUND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FUFILLED THE OBLIGATIONS GIVEN TO YOU IN RESPECT OF YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE PAYMENT.

SECONDLY WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH THE NONE OFFICIALS IN THE BANK ALL YOUR ATTEMPT TO SECURE THE RELEASE OF THE FUND TO YOU. WE WISH TO ADVISE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THIS HAVE TO STOP IF YOU WISHES TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED TO BRING A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM. RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT THROUGH OUR SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTER ASIA PACIFIC, THAT IS THE LATEST INSTRUCTION FROM MR. PRESIDENT, CHIEF UMARU YARA DUA (GCFR) FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA AND FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE.

THIS CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN ATM CARD WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD,BUT THE MAXIMUM IS FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS PER DAY, SO IF YOU LIKE TO RECIEVE YOUR FUND THIS WAY PLEASE LET US KNOW BY CONTACTING THE CARD PAYMENT CENTER AND ALSO SEND THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION TO HIM IN ORDER HIM TO PROCEED IMMEDIATELY:

1. YOUR FULL NAME
2. YOUR PHONE AND FAX NUMBER
3. YOUR ADDRESS WERE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND
THE ATM CARD TO(P.O BOX NOT ACCEPTABLE)
4. YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION
5. A COPY OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION

HOWEVER, KINDLY FIND BELOW THE CONTACT PERSON:

DR. PATRICK AZIZA)
INTEGRATED PAYMENT DEPARTMENT
TEL: +234- 70 33 58 25 15
EMAIL: drpatick.aziza01@live.com (drpatick.aziza01@live.com)

THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT $8,300,000.00 AS PART PAYMENT FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR 2008. ALSO FOR YOUR INFORMATION, YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMINUCATION WITH ANY OTHER PERSON(S) OR OFFICE(S) TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN RECEIVING YOUR ATM PAYMENT.

FOR ORAL DISCUSSION, I CAN BE REACHED ON +234- 70 33 58 25 15 OR EMAIL ME BACK AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR FURTHER DIRECTION AND ALSO UPDATE ME ON ANY DEVELOPMENT FROM THE ABOVE MENTIONED OFFICE.

NOTE THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT, WHICH IS (ATM-811) SO YOU HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE WHEN CONTACTING THE CARD CENTER BY USING IT AS YOUR SUBJECT.

BEST REGARDS,

MR. CHARLES ALMAN
CHIEF AUDITOR TO THE PRESIDENT
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA.

mario_c
10-29-2008, 08:53 AM
Here's how I pay 'em:

The Lads from Lagos (http://www.scamorama.com) and don't forget the Love Notes! :ROFL:

Darzian
10-29-2008, 06:39 PM
I got a hilarious one recently. The subject was this:

Lose all your weight in TWO WEEKS!!!


Ummm...talk about being weightless. :roll:

Alexandra Little
10-30-2008, 03:01 AM
I just get spam from Apple, who don't understand their own "unsubscribe" link.

Darzian
11-06-2008, 01:36 PM
I got a thrilling one today, telling me that my 'shipment' could not be delivered and to download the attached 'form' and complete it and return it to blah blah blah.

To make me download it there was also a note saying that if they do not receive the form in 7 days they'll start charging $6 per day.


Worse still, I HAD sent a shipment recently but I got word today that it arrived.

:e2moon:

Elidibus
11-19-2008, 10:21 AM
Once I got an email asking me if I wanted larger breasts. When I saw the title ENLARGE YOUR BREASTS NOW!!! I had to open it. The apparent means of causing said enlargement seemed to be the use of a very painful sounding machine. I could order it if I clicked the link.

Of course I didn't see the point. Why would a guy want larger breasts?

inkkognito
11-20-2008, 02:36 AM
This is why the spammers keep sending out those Nigerian scam emails:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,453125,00.html

Un. Be. Lieveable.

MaryMumsy
11-20-2008, 04:37 AM
Which proves that PT Barnum was right. There is a sucker born every minute, and they aren't all dumb.

MM

Hailey-Edwards
11-22-2008, 01:11 AM
My latest favorite was the subject line of a perfectly legitimate ad from Victoria's Secret. But I couldn't stop laughing. It just SCREAMED "I'm the title of a horror short story! Use me!"

The subject line?

"The Bra You CANNOT Live Without!"

:ROFL:


LMAO That's great!

Darzian
12-11-2008, 09:31 PM
This is why the spammers keep sending out those Nigerian scam emails:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,453125,00.html

Un. Be. Lieveable.

The scammers ran Spears through the whole program. They said President Bush and FBI Director "Robert Muller" (their spelling) were in on the deal and needed her help.

Wow. What else can I say?

icenine
12-11-2008, 10:51 PM
What about Narrative Magazine's emails? Do they count?

Mr Flibble
02-18-2009, 02:03 AM
My christian nature has just been appealed to help this poor lady whose husband deposited a lot of money just before he died. Now she's dying and she needs my help to donate all this money to a nice christian charity. ( and even quotes the bible to show me where it says I should help her) She doesn't want the money to be used by unbelievers - except I'll get 20% for my trouble.

But I am an unbeliever.

I may have to ask her if that will affect my payout...:D

writerterri
02-18-2009, 04:07 AM
I got one from Craig's List the other day. I put an add up for private sewing lessons and got a mail from someone stating that they were going to send their son to my house for sewing lessons all week. I was to calculate the sum and send the total. Then they would send the money order and there would be extra to give to the woman's son for his needs here in the states and I just needed to take my cut.

I wrote back telling her that I didn't do business like that but that the FBI did and I would forward this email to them and they would get back to her.

But I never heard back from her again. :Shrug:

stormie
02-18-2009, 04:46 AM
The truly down side to that spam that slips through, are the ones that aren't spam that end up in the jumk folder (one was from an agent).

Or the Valentine ecard sent to me in my inbox by my sister that I almost didn't open. The "sent from" line didn't have her name, but something like this:

Ecard from (sister's name) %&())#$%^&%@* Valentine!

I emailed her about it. She did send it. I still shouldn't have opened it. Now some strange sight had plopped itself into my computer. I've had to dig it out and stomp on it.

Chumplet
02-18-2009, 05:50 AM
I didn't read through all the threads, but has anyone noticed a dramatic drop in spam emails since January? I used to get over a hundered per day, and now I only get five or six, mostly the Nigerian Scams or the Lotto ones.

Matera the Mad
02-18-2009, 07:03 AM
Pfft! Spam never decreases. Fluctuates a bit around holidays, but never decreases. Your e-mail provider must have tweaked a filter. Or the spamherd just moved to another pasture, figuring that the old one was overgrazed.

My old deluged account was getting 300/day when I abandoned it completely. It crashes my mail-checking prog. No, I don't use webmail at home if I can help it, but I was curious just now and peeked:

Disk space low 103792k of 104857k used

Over 20,600 in there. I think I better have a word with the fellows about that. I lost my password for the spam sifting thing they installed back when the count rose suddenly (horse gets out, then barn door is shut, whoopee, I smell security breach). Anyway, I can't do anything to blackhole the stuff automatically.

I have one little-used account that gets small variable numbers of stuff like:
$B$7$+$7!V%9!<%Q!<%3%T!<!W$O!">CHq
<T$N>.$5$J$4ITK~$d$40U8+$r;29M$K$7!"
$B<*$r$+$?$`$1!">&IJ$N:YIt$K;j$k$^$

lol -- spammers know their target audience

Unique
02-20-2009, 10:46 PM
spamherd


I just have to figure out a way to use this in a :idea:conversation. ...

stormie
02-21-2009, 12:07 AM
I have one little-used account that gets small variable numbers of stuff like:
$B$7$+$7!V%9!<%Q!<%3%T!<!W$O!">CHq
<T$N>.$5$J$4ITK~$d$40U8+$r;29M$K$7!"
$B<*$r$+$?$`$1!">&IJ$N:YIt$K;j$k$^$

lol -- spammers know their target audience
Yep. They're truly brilliant.

Matera the Mad
02-21-2009, 09:08 AM
Aren't they.

I finally found the awesome delete-all button buried deep in the baroque maze of my ISP's webmail options. Now I can check my daily spamcounts again if I want to. It's gone down, but with Easter just around the corner I'm sure it will surge again.

Meanwhile, I found a cute one allegedly from myself:
You are receiving this e-mail because you subscribed to MSN Featured Offers. Microsoft respects your privacy. If you do not wish to receive this MSN Featured Offers e-mail, please click the "Unsubscribe" link... :roll:

unsub link is from China. yawn.

Mr Flibble
03-21-2009, 06:42 PM
Oohhh cool I have inherited £17 million punds from a long lost relative! I'm the only relative they can find!!!! It's allllll mine!!!!


Only the surname is wrong ( it's my husband's surname you numpties!)*snicker* and if I was the only relative left ....am I not related to my brothers? Or parents? Well I'm not going to share it with them :D

ETa: I replied to this one, saying 'What, not Great Uncle Phillip! How did he die? Oh, and is it cash, because inhertinace tax is a pain.'

I got a reply saying that dear Great Uncle Phillip died in the Hejce crash in Hungary and please to swear an affidavit saying I was related to start the procedure to get the money

So I sent:


The Hejce crash?

Great Uncle Phillip wasn't Slovakian
Or indeed in the military. He was 93 after all.

Maybe you have me confused with someone else? I can't swear an affidavit to say I was related if it's the wrong Great Uncle Phillip can I?

Of course $17 million would come in handy. Cash right?

Elidibus
03-29-2009, 10:18 AM
I don't get any good spam any more. Sure, there's the ones where I win the "insert obscure country" lotto and stuff. And a few that said I needed bigger boobs (I'm a guy) but nothing funny like you guys.

Maybe I should try replying to some of these and see if it gets more interesting. Maybe I'll pretend to be that guy on "How to catch a predator" or whatever.

"Have a seat"

Love it!

Plot Device
06-02-2009, 05:51 AM
This one included a snail mail address of "500 Chestnuts" in Abilene Texas, the address of Bank of America, even though the email is from Australia.




GREETINGS

Monday, June 1, 2009 12:22 PM


From: "Paul Peters" <ppeters1@dodo.com.au>
To: undisclosed-recipients






Dear Counsel,

I am sending this email as a mutual introduction. Mr. Len Cheng is the
Consultant of Jiang Xing International Company. Jiang Xing Company is a
manufacturer and supplier of Abrasives. Jiang Xing is owed payment on a
shipment that they made to a customer here in the US in July 2008. The
company is now seeking advice and possible representation in litigation
against the non-paying company in the USA.

I cannot handle this Issue at the moment as I’m getting ready to go in for a medical procedure. I have represented this company in the past. This matter is in your jurisdiction; contact Mr. Len Cheng if you are interested in representing their company. Below is his contact information:

Len Cheng
Jiangxing International Company
len.chang@jiangxing.asia (http://us.mc621.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=len.chang@jiangxing.asia)


I encourage you to contact one another to see if this is a situation where
you can work together. Should you have any questions please contact my
partner( haroldbrown@lawyer.com (http://us.mc621.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=haroldbrown@lawyer.com) )


Sincerely,

Law Office of Harold Brown P.C.
500 Chestnuts,
P.O. Box 3422
Abilene, Texas 79602

spamwarrior
06-28-2009, 06:24 AM
I put all my spam on my spam wars blog. Some of these guys are hilarious.

spamwarrior
06-28-2009, 06:25 AM
Yep. They're truly brilliant.

Maybe that's why I get a lot of spam like, "sdjkflajfla? adjfoajsfowjnaskdjfpaj!"

Medievalist
06-28-2009, 06:34 AM
I've got one that baffles me; it had a picture that just doesn't make sense to me.

I wrote about it here (http://sputterpop.com/news/bear-hand); it's Viagra spam, but totally safe for work or anywhere else; it's just odd and confusing.

spamwarrior
06-28-2009, 06:52 AM
I've got one that baffles me; it had a picture that just doesn't make sense to me.

I wrote about it here (http://sputterpop.com/news/bear-hand); it's Viagra spam, but totally safe for work or anywhere else; it's just odd and confusing.

That's really disturbing. *shivers*

Thump
06-28-2009, 05:14 PM
Erm... Is it sad that I get it? Bear= hairy, wild, beast of a man, ready to get his grove on and give his woman some wild, wild, lovin'... Or something :P

Medievalist
06-28-2009, 05:17 PM
Well, sure, I can see the bear as a symbol of virililty--but why does the bear need the viagra (Does the bear eat viagra in the woods ...)

I mean--look at him; he's about to pop the pill.

spamwarrior
07-04-2009, 06:30 AM
Poor bear.

spamwarrior
07-04-2009, 09:42 AM
Here's one I got today:


From: Position For You <position.for.you@tablonter.net>
Date: 2009/7/3
Subject: $120,000 Per Year Part Time

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Plot Device
01-15-2010, 10:37 PM
Here's a new one. It's partly in French, and includes an aspiration to one day request my hand in marriage. I love the little roses.



Bonjour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010 8:48 AM


From:
This sender is DomainKeys verified (http://help.yahoo.com/l/us/yahoo/mail/classic/context/context-07.html) "Felicia Grmlt" <fgrmlt12@yahoo.co.nz>
To: f.grimeault@yahoo.com





Je suis attirée par ton annonce et souhaiterais nouer une relation sérieuse pouvant aboutir au mariage. J'aime les aet aimerais fonder un foyer sur les bases de l'honnêteté, la sincérité, la fidélité et le respect de l'autre. Si vous n'êtes pas partant pour le mariage et ces précieuses valeurs qui pour moi sont des piliers fondamentaux d'une bonne relation sentimentale, eh bien ne perdez pas votre temps. Bisou et bonne bonjourné http://mail.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/tsmileys2/40.gif


I am attracted by your ad and would like to build a serious relationship that could lead to marriage. I like aet like to start a family on the basis of honesty, sincerity, loyalty and respect for others. If you're not leaving for marriage and those precious values which for me are the pillars of a good romantic relationship, well, do not waste your time. Kiss and good days http://mail.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/tsmileys2/40.gif

Email slow, clunky, unreliable? Switch to Yahoo!Xtra Mail (http://au.rd.yahoo.com/nz/mail/tagline/2009/mailsignup/*http://yahoo.co.nz/mail), New Zealand's new email address.

charlotte49ers
01-15-2010, 10:40 PM
Poor Lilian Brown...she was even brought up in a motherless babies home!


Dear Friend

Greetings in the name of God,Pls let this not sound strange to you for my only surviving lawyer who would have done this died early this year.i prayed and got your email id from your country guestbook.

I am MRS LILIAN BROWN from London,I am 58 years old,i am suffering from a long time cancer of the lungs which also affected my brain,from all indication my conditions is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that, according to my doctors they have advised me that i may not live for the next two months,this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a very bad stage.

I was brought up from a motherless babies home was married to my late husband for twenty years without a child,my husband died in a fatal motor accident Before his death we were true believers.Since his death I decided not to re-marry,I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of 10million dollars with a First Inland Bank.

Presently, this money is still with them and the management just wrote me as the true owner to come forward to receive the money for keeping it so long or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not come over because of my illness or they get it confisticated.

Presently, I'm with my laptop in a hospital here in Switzerland where I have been undergoing treatment for cancer of the lungs. my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live.

It is my last wish to see that this money is invested to any organisation of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization,the poor and the motherless babies home.

I want you as God fearing person, to also use this money to fund church,mosque, orphanages and widows,I took this decision, before i rest in peace because my time will so on be up.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the First Inland Bank.I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the new beneficiary of my fund.
Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein.

Hoping to hear from you soon. NAME:__________SURNAME:__________________SEX:
_____ AGE: ______MARITAL: _______________COUNTRY: ______ CONTACT ADDRESS: ________________________PHONE NO#___________FAX
NO#_________________OCCUPATION:

waiting for you information

reply:me through this my private email

address:lilianbrown12@gmail.com

MRS. LILIAN BROWN

Fran
01-16-2010, 07:44 PM
My dad is terrible for falling for these things - he's nearly sent his bank details and email account information to so many people. Thankfully he's now asking me first. Could be why he's always skint...

I keep getting spam from the 'Sell Your Gold' people. Not just one of them, almost all of them out there. It makes no sense because I don't have any gold (I don't wear jewellery) and I've never contacted them or requested information about selling my non-existent gold in the first place. Weird.

benbradley
01-17-2010, 07:49 AM
My dad is terrible for falling for these things - he's nearly sent his bank details and email account information to so many people. Thankfully he's now asking me first. Could be why he's always skint...
Maybe send him to http://419eater.com and have him ask them if any of these are ever legit...
I keep getting spam from the 'Sell Your Gold' people. Not just one of them, almost all of them out there. It makes no sense because I don't have any gold (I don't wear jewellery) and I've never contacted them or requested information about selling my non-existent gold in the first place. Weird.
This is really simple. Email spam is SO cheap to send that it's much, much cheaper to send 100 million of the same spam than it is to "target" messages to only those interested.

I recall ten years ago spams for "97 Million Email Addresses" on CD for $99 or $59. Software for sending spam, usually by abusing insecure email servers, cost about as much. They didn't even need Internet access because they had lots of AOL passwords from phishing websites that said "Your session has timed out. Please log back in" and looked exactly like the AOL login screen.

Nowadays most spam is sent through ordinary home PC's on DSL infected with a virus that sends spams at a low enough rate to "stay under the radar." Thousands of these compromised computers add up to millions or billions of spam sent.

Keep in mind that the vast majority of spam is filtered out for you by your ISP, otherwise you would get about ten spams for each legitimate email you get.

Medievalist
01-17-2010, 07:53 AM
I haven't had time to get back to it, but here's my personal tale of spam:

http://www.digitalmedievalist.net/2009/12/i-get-email/

MaryMumsy
01-18-2010, 02:17 AM
This is one I got a few days ago. They didn't even bother to try to mask the source email address (which was in .be), and sent it to 'undisclosed recipients'.

Federal Bureau of Investigation
FBI Seattle Division
1110 Third Avenue
Seattle, Washington 98101-2904
Payment Code: R5109176K
Reg No: 132731593

The Federal Bureau of Investigation has discovered through our intelligence Monitoring Network that you are eligible to receive the sum of $2.5million USD regarding to an over-due Inheritance/Award payment which was fully endorsed to be paid in your favour.therefore,the FBI Seattle Division in conjunction with the United States Department of Homeland Security (DHS), Has screened through our various Monitoring Networks and has been confirmed and notified that the transaction you have with the Financial Institution is Legal and you have the Lawful Right to claim your due fund.

The President His Excellency Alhaji Umaru Musa Yar Adua President of the Federal republic of Nigeria has given us the final approval to pay your fund to you within the next 48hrs, Your fund valued $2.5million USD has been deposited into a Gold smart Card number: 5179 1234 5678 personal identification is ATM- 7997 this card will enable you buy and withdrawal cash anywhere around the world this is done for your own security, with this card you will not have to take the risk of sending us your personal banking details online as you have been strongly advise by your local bank not to send your banking details to anyone online.

What you are required to do now to Pay the fees of $380.00 USD for the shipment of your Gold Smart card to your choice location, $380.00 USD is the only fees that has been approved by both the FBI and the Bank that you are to pay as cost of Delivery of your Card to you by the courier company.Once the fees is been paid your ATM CARD will get to you in the next 2-3 working day.

You are to full this details

FULL NAME:
DELIVERY ADDRESS:
TELEPHONE NUMBER:
COUNTRY:
OCCUPATION:
SEX:
AGE:

Note: Your funds are protected by a hardcover insurance policy, which makes it Impossible to deduct any amount from the money before it can be remitted to you.this means that the above charges cannot be deducted from the Funds and hence must be provided by you before your fund is transferred to you.the payment for any of the above options should be sent via Western Union Money Transfer in the name of the Head of accounts Mr. Paul Ekene. Find below the payment information.

Name of receiver: Paul Ekene
Office Address: Island, Lagos Nigeria.
Text Question: making friends
Answer: Good
Name of Sender:.....................
Address of Sender:..................
MTCN#...............................
Amount....$380

As soon as we receive your payment, he shall proceed with your fund transfer immediately.We anticipate your prompt response. If you need to contact me at any stage please do not hesitate to call (+1-206-203-4190)

Sincerely,
Steven M. Dean (Assistant Special Agent-in-Charge)
(fbi.nvestigation667@web2mail.com)
cc Robert Mueller (FBI Director)

DeleyanLee
01-18-2010, 06:57 AM
Chalk up another one for the FBI:

FBI E-mail AlertSaturday, January 16, 2010 6:43 AM
From: "Federal Bureau Of Investigation" <R.atmmuler@fbi.gov>Add sender to ContactsTo: undisclosed-recipients

Anti-Terrorist and International Fraud Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
935 Pennsylvania Ave, NW
Washington, DC 20535







Attn: Beneficiary,

This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated by the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Imposters claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, Mr Frank Nweke, none officials of Oceanic Bank, none officials of Zenith Bank and imposter claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, it came to our notice that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfill your Financial Obligation giving to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.

So therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by arranging your payment in total of US$800,000.00 in an ATM CARD which you will use to withdraw money in anywhere of the world. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in the ATM CARD.

Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, all you did have to do is to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free because it is our right to protect the American Citizens. All I did want you to do is proceed and contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $392.00 only and note that your Approval Slip contains details of your PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION NUMBER (PIN) which you will use in activating your ATM CARD in any ATM MACHINE.

CONTACT INFORMATION

NAME: MR. DEREK PARK

EMAIL : derekpark11@sify.com

Do contact MR. DEREK PARK of the ATM CARD CENTRE with your

FULL NAME:
ADDRESS:
CITY:
STATE:
ZIP CODE:
DIRECT CONTACT NUMBER:
Occupation:

So your files would be updated after which he will send the payment information's to you which you will use in making payment of $392.00 via Western Union Money Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay.

We order you get back to this office after you open contact with the ATM SWIFT CARD CENTRE and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you.

YOUR SAFETY HAS BEEN GUARANTEED AS THIS TRANSACTION IS COMPLETELY LEGITIMATE AND HAS BEEN VERIFIED.


FBI Director
Robert Mueller.




Authorized Signature



NSB SEAL ABOVE


NOTE: In order to ensure your ATM gets delivered to you ASAP, you are advised to immediately contact Mr. Derek Park via contact information provided above and make the required payment of $392.00 to information in which he shall provide to you.

NewKidOldKid
01-19-2010, 08:25 PM
I got a hilarious one recently. The subject was this:
Lose all your weight in TWO WEEKS!!!

so...die?

brainstorm77
01-19-2010, 11:45 PM
Apparently I won 800,000. But it's located in a bank in England.

underthecity
01-27-2010, 02:24 AM
This one just arrived in my inbox. I love the name of the company. I should use it in a future story.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I have sent you this message because of the need to open discussions with you. I don't want you to misunderstand this offer in any aspect, if it is okay with you I ask for your full co-operation. I am Alexei Ghenov, the Franchise Owner of Kogalymneftgaz, a Russian oil company. Due to ill Health I have been Esophageal Cancer, it has defiled all forms of medical treatment and according to the medical experts it is a terminal illness so I do not know how much longer I have to live. I never had any real friends in my lifetime because I never really cared for anyone but my business. But now I know that there is more to live than making all the money in the world.

Recently I received a bulk payment from Azerbaijan Ministry for my Last contract there. I instructed them specifically not to send the Funds to Russia, but that the funds should be deposited with a Finance and Security company in Europe on hold. A huge cash deposit of $I8,OOO,OOO.OO was domiciled with the Finance/Security Company overseas to my knowledge only. This is the last of my assets, now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore; I therefore need you as a partner because you are a neutral party to help me collect these funds deposited with the security company and disburse it secretly based on my instructions.

Because my time is short I have decided to give most of this money to Charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. For all your good efforts you will receive 30% of the Funds and disburse the rest based on my instructions. I want you to understand my seriousness in this case and if you can handle this transaction, kindly contact my Lawyer:

Advocate Michael Plotnikov
Madrid Spain
Tel: +34-672-514-722
Email: plotnik11@sify.com

He has all the necessary documentations at hand,

Onwa De Moon: Please contact him ASAP for further discussion.

Thank you for your anticipated cooperation.

Best Regards,

Alexei Ghenov

benbradley
02-21-2010, 05:14 AM
This one's as bizarre as I've seen in a long time (my ISP apparently does very good filtering, I usually only get spam to my Usenet posting address, and barely one a day to that), though like so many others the writer still needs to learn some basic English rules.

The From: is forged (atm.org is a real, legit website with obviously no connection with this spam), the Reply-To: and email in the body are the actual dropboxes. Firefox warns me not to go to onfruit.com, but Google's cache shows it to of course be a free web-based email service much like yahoo, hotmail, etc. I've starred out actual contact info.

Reply-To: <***@onfruit.cn>
From: "ATM CARD PARCEL"<admin@atm.org>
Subject: YOUR ATM CARD PARCEL
Date: Sat, 20 Feb 2010 12:23:17 -0800

Our Ref: FGN /SNT/STB

This is to officially inform you that ATM Card has been accredited in your favor.The ATM Card Value with $6.8MILLION USD. You are advice to contact our Affiliate courier company with the information below.

NOTE: The only fees you have to pay is the courier company fee which is $105,contact them as soon as possible to make arrangement on how to effect the deliver fees of your ATM CARD.

Contact Person:Jeffrey Simpson
Email:***@onfruit.cn
Phone Number:+234803***

FULL NAME:
DELIVERY ADDRESS:
PHONE NUMBER
COUNTRY:
OCCUPATION:
SEX:
AGE:

Best Regards.
Mrs Linda

JoeEkaitis
02-22-2010, 05:52 AM
Ever notice the rise in spam offering prescription drugs mentioned in news articles about celebrity overdose deaths or celebrities who are entering rehab?

Now that's CLASS . . . with a capital K.

MaryMumsy
02-22-2010, 07:01 AM
One I haven't seen before:

SHELL INTERNATIONAL LTD
SHELL FOUNDATION .
Dear Winner,

We congratulate you for emerging as one of the winners of this programme, please understand that you have not bought any ticket or played a coupon in regards to your winning. All participants were selected through a computer balloting system drawn from Nine hundred thousand E-mail addresses from Canada , Australia , United States , Asia, Europe, Middle East, Africa and Oceania as part of our international promotions programme which is conducted annually.

Please complete the information below to enable us have comprehensive information about you and how to transfer your cash prize of $400,000 (Four Hundred Thousand United States Dollars)

(Personal Information)

Full name:
Date of Birth:
Address:
Sex:
Nationality:
Occupation:
Telephone:
Email:

If you have further inquiries or concerns, please do not hesitate to call or write

Congratulations once more!

Mr David Kewell (RCA)
Shell Lottery Inc.
Phone: +44 70 240 858 75
Email: davidkewell@ymailcom (http://uk.mc246.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=davidkewell@ymail.com)
Alternate: davidkewell2009@gmail.com (http://uk.mc246.mail.yahoocom/mc/compose?to=davidkewell2009@gmail.com)

----------
VALENTINSKE BLAHOZELANIE - ako na to v ZPS12 (http://zoner.sk/reklama6-tutorial.html)

JoeEkaitis
02-26-2010, 06:16 PM
From: "blackisbeautiful2me"


Subject: I have a black guy fetish!

I just love the way dark skin shines in the light. Especially when it's all sweaty and on top of me! Hello!

http://, , , , , (http://aksa02.com/memberinvite/blackisbeautiful2me)












Exit:
http:// . . . (http://z9.ssl-shippment-2983.com/remove.php?e=joeekaitis@yahoo.com)
or write:
10 Anson Road #16-16 UNT 6156 International Plaza Singapore 079903 Republic of Singapore

.................................................. ........


The glistening chocolate object of the emailer's desire:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3458/3816589634_4e7c047292_o.jpg

AuburnAssassin
02-27-2010, 01:27 AM
Gah! As someone whose bank account (well my employer's acct) has been used to pass off counterfeit checks for these scams, I say STOP TRYING TO CASH THE BAIT CHECKS PEOPLE!

Yes, I'm shouting because everytime some poor person falls for one of these, they invariably get a phony check as a "downpayment" on their winnings that they must deposit then call once done so that they can then pay the taxes, commissions, licenses, royalties, whatever to the scam artist. I get so sick of having to take time out of my day to notify my bank that no, it's a counterfeit check, no, we did not issue a check for $200,000 in CN funds drawn on our CN bank to a little old lady in Pasadena who is getting quite snippy with the teller for not cashing it on the spot! Meanwhile, she's just wired out good money to these bandits that she'll never get back nor will she see a dime of the $200k. Sigh...it's so infuriating.

Fingers
03-31-2010, 05:41 AM
I just got a wonderful and mostly grammatically correct email informing me that I was the most trustworthy one. My chance to commit intercontinental criminal acts so I can get some part of 45 million dollars US. I responded to the emailer that I was unemployed, had no bank account nor a fax machine. I also told them that if they would send me 5000 dollars cash, I would be happy to buy a fax machine, get a bank account, and get the information right away as I sure could use 25 million dollars. Been a month and a half and no response. I am crushed.


yer pal Brian