First person, present tense revisted (The Time Traveler's Wife)

[SheliaRudesill]

Okay, friends. We've talked at length about first person present tense and many of you suggested that "The Time Traveler's Wife" was an "excellent" example.

Well.... Almost right off the bat (p.4) Clare is speaking and she says, "Henry is glancing around us, worring that readers, co-workers are noticing us...."

Should Clare know this? She can assume why he's glancing around but she's certain of it! To me, this is bad writing.

Tell me what you think.

[Medievalist]

Keep reading, but remember that this is about The Time Traveller's wife.

[katiemac]

I read that book when it was new in hardcover, so it's been awhile.

Personally, I wasn't a fan of that novel grammatically. While I thought it was an interesting premise, I found myself editing in my head when I was reading through it, wondering why the publishing editor hadn't done the same thing. In the end, it was the grammar and things in this case that reminds me more negatively of the novel than positively.

Anyway, in the case you pointed out -- well, yes. I don't remember the buildup or premise behind that particular scene, but from the snippet you posted Claire shouldn't know what Henry's thinking. It's something I catch myself writing in my own WIP and fix immediately.

[maestrowork]

Niffenegger has a good style and personal voice, but she's not the best writer technically. Her POVs are all over the place sometimes, and she committed the novice crime of "let me describe my 1st person attributes by using a mirror." There are other tech niggles I can pick on. Some of her writing is strong, however -- her two main characters are strong. But her minor characters suffer -- I never really believe her minor characters such as Gomez.

Here's a best seller when the premise and the story trump the technical aspects. I did enjoy the book, even the 1st person/present tense, but only after I allowed myself to read it WITHOUT the writer's eye and ear. At the end, I wasn't too moved because I already knew where it was going by the early chapters.

As for the POV, like on Page 4 where you think "how could Claire know?" Remember, Henry time travels. The first time Henry met Claire was when she was a little girl, but he already knew her for years, and over the years he's told her many things, including what he was thinking... so by the time Henry meets Claire for the first time (from his perspective), Claire would know what he's really thinking....

So in this case, her time traveling premise helps her with these POV issues that would otherwise marr a book.

That's what I think, anyway.

[Zane Curtis]

Well.... Almost right off the bat (p.4) Clare is speaking and she says, "Henry is glancing around us, worring that readers, co-workers are noticing us...."

Should Clare know this? She can assume why he's glancing around but she's certain of it! To me, this is bad writing.

Tell me what you think.

Haven't you ever been able to tell what someone was thinking by watching them and the way they're behaving? I know I have, especially with people I know well. And even when I'm wrong, my internal monologue still sounds pretty much like this sentence as it's written.

In fact, my understanding is that people form first impressions, then cling to those first impressions until long after they become completely untenable. People don't qualify and doubt themselves all the time when they're interpreting social situations, unless they're neurotic, or unless the situation is new to them.

[SheliaRudesill]

I can understand some of your interpretations. But I'm constantly reminded by editors and writing buddies that you can't qualify what looks like an error in the begining of a book until you reach the end. Of course I got it right off that Clare knew what Henry was thinking, but the way it's stated gives Clare an omniscient POV in my opinion. Besides she could have been wrong -- he could have been thinking, "Oh, no! Another woman from my past. I hate it when this happens."

How can writing like this (Niffenegger's poor grammar) make it to "National Bestseller" status? I take it the story is good and "the average reader" wouldn't notice the mistakes. So, why does my writing have to be so perfect?

We all go over and over our grammer, POV, voice, tense, etc., ect. until we finally please our editors. I have 16 grammar and style manuals that are dog-eared sitting on my desk. I'm feeling a little frustrated by the success of Niffenegger's book. (And, yes, jealous!)

[maestrowork]

We writers are very critical. That's why when I read for pleasure, I try to put on the blinders for my writer's eye. When I first read the Da Vinci Code, I wanted to throw it out after the first two chapters. But eventually I let my writer self go and tried to enjoy myself.

Why Niffenegger's book became a best seller? Word of mouth. It didn't become a best seller right away. But she has a unique take on a love story -- quasi-sci-fi romantic novel. It's an interesting niche. And people liked that story, and they told others about it, etc. I first heard about the book when it was not yet a best seller -- they thought the story was neat and moving. And soon words spread.

Most casual readers are not going to know the difference -- POVs, voice, grammar, etc. They want a good story with good characters. While I don't particularly like the peripheral characters in TTW, I do like Claire and Henry... they are the reasons why the somewhat convoluted plot/time-line works. Personally, I think every writer should strive to be the best, and learn the skills well. However, at the end of the day, I think it really does boils down to story and characters. If they are good, the readers will forgive you for certain things, such as POV issues.

[Maryn]

But how do you put the blinders on your writer's eye? After I reached a certain level of good--not all that high, actually--a great deal of best-selling fiction became unreadable to me because I can't turn off the error-detector.

At least when I own the book, I feel no guilt over inking my stronger objections into the margins. ("He pulled a gun, after passing through security on p. 130? Right!") Some day, someone else will read that book, perhaps, and realize its previous owner was some kind of crazy person.

Maryn

[Zane Curtis]

But how do you put the blinders on your writer's eye? After I reached a certain level of good--not all that high, actually--a great deal of best-selling fiction became unreadable to me because I can't turn off the error-detector.

It's because you're still trying to write your own book. Personally, I find I'm most productive as a writer when I set aside a time for writing and for thinking about writing, and outside of that time, put it completely from my mind. It's actually not easy, because your book wants to consume your every waking thought. But you have to have a life outside of writing. Otherwise, what would you write about?