Who do the police call when monsters attack?

[Tornadoboy]

Ok here's a fun question to ponder:

What exactly would the procedure be if some small town cops found their town under attack by monsters? Not Godzilla-sized creatures mind you, just some nice, blood thirsty dog or bear-sized things that of course are never actually seen by law enforcement until much later, but who's malicious intents are all too apparent.

In the world of the B-movie no doubt the local Barney Fife would just call the nearest National Guard base from a pay phone and have an air strike in 15 minutes, but I'm looking for what would happen in the REAL world if something that strange actually happened? Who would they try to call first?

I've got a couple of story ideas simmering in small sauce pans at the back of the stove which may someday need me to answer that question, but I'm basically asking because years of contaminating my brain with cheap B-movies has made me curious.

[DWSTXS]

Ghostbusters! (who you gonna call?) LOL

[Jersey Chick]

What about state police? (My first thought was National Guard - I'm not very original, eh? Of course, we don't have all that many monsters here, either. ;))

[Ziljon]

Of course they would call the most eminent scientist from the local university.


/

[Jersey Chick]

Who would be a 20-year old blonde in dynamite shape, right?

[DWSTXS]

Who would be a 20-year old blonde in dynamite shape, right?
__________________
Biscuit Brigadier


either that, or it would be local geeksters...........

[Tornadoboy]

What about state police? (My first thought was National Guard - I'm not very original, eh? Of course, we don't have all that many monsters here, either. ;))

That's my first thought, but I guess then the question becomes who do they bring in?

Ok, my story (what there is of it) has about a dozen people from multiple houses going missing in a single night, with nothing left but signs of violence, lots of blood and an occasional leftover piece. The local police are of course dumbfounded, and then the state police have no better explanations either. Who gets called in next? I mean, besides Ghostbusters?

Of course they would call the most eminent scientist from the local university./

No doubt smoking a pipe and complaining that the creatures should be studied and not killed. :D

[Ziljon]

These are the scientists I had in mind:
http://www.wetcircuit.com/wp-content/myfotos/thisislandearth/ThisIslandEarth01.jpg

[Jersey Chick]

Who would be a 20-year old blonde in dynamite shape, right?
__________________
Biscuit Brigadier


either that, or it would be local geeksters...........


The brilliant scientist. ;)

[Ziljon]

But seriously, I think the nearest zoo might be called. They would have all the equipment needed for tranquilizing or killing the beast, assuming it wasn't much bigger that an elephant.

[DWSTXS]

maybe, before they call anyone........maybe they should look around for movie cameras and equipment......just in case it's just a movie being filmed.............LOL


wait........maybe the 'mosters' are Britney, Lindsey and Paris.......all on the prowl....looking for drugs, parties, .......(and their panties.....)

[althrasher]

I would think some kind of Animal Control. After that? Picture the end scene of Blues Brothers. Same kind of deal.

[johnnysannie]

In most of small town America there won't be a zoo any where within a hundred miles or often more. Most likely, the chain of response would begin with the local police department and might include the animal control officer. If they could not handle the situation or contain it, the county (sheriff's department) might be called in followed by the state police and finally the national guard if the situation was not under control.

Of course, the initial report of monsters to a small town PD would probably be taken with a grain of salt, i.e. they would not be very likely to believe the initial reports!

[brokenfingers]

Obviously they'd use the bat-signal.

[J. Weiland]

What exactly would the procedure be if some small town cops found their town under attack by monsters?

The procedure would be TO FRIGGIN RUN!





... Or possibly use a vehicle which unlike your feet aren't momentarily paralyzed.

[FinbarReilly]

Although I would like to think the local group of teen heroes, the most likely REAL response would depend on the monster; it would be either for the police to take it down themselves, or animal control. In extreme cases, they may deputize some locals, but otherwise the police would be the most likely people to respond.

I still like the idea of teen heroes, however...

FR

[C.bronco]

I'd yell for my mommy.

[Tornadoboy]

I still like the idea of teen heroes, however...FR

That would be when the monsters pulled off their masks and said "And we would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for these meddling kids!"

Actually if I write the story I ought to kill off a lot of teen heroes just on general principles, along with obnoxious comic relief characters, the old man who walks around saying "You're all dooooooomed!", and lots of annoyingly cute pets!

Ok, thinking out loud here, my guess would be that it would go this way:

The local police would be very quick in figuring out that the situation is WAY over their heads, so they would of course call the state police. After a quick assessment of the scene to confirm that the locals are not smoking crack, they in turn would bring in detectives, forensic experts, the FBI because of the number of people missing and perhaps a wildlife expert or two.

Having concluded the obvious, which is that this is NOT the work of humans, they would evacuate all civilians within a comfortable distance and close the area to all but authorized persons.

After this is done the state police would organize a search of the nearby forest armed with the usual big boy toys, high powered rifles and shotguns, along with some hunting dogs to hopefully track whatever the boogeythings are.

Now if this effort were to say, end badly :D , or that they were to discover the source of the problem but dare not tackle it themselves, the next step would be to bring in the National Guard... but this is where things get fuzzy for me...

Ok, so the Guard would obviously provide the military muscle needed to hopefully contain the problem, but who handles the problems of actually figuring out what the creatures are and how to contain/destroy them? The Center of Disease Control? Department of Defense?? Scooby Doo???

[PastMidnight]

Definitely Scooby Doo.

[HeronW]

Even if the Nat'l Guard is called, would they come? There has to be a damn good reason, and the consent of assorted brass before they're mobilized. Slapping on the Homeland Security threat will get them there quicker, also phoning the local FBI office might help. A quicker backup may be the local Vets Admin to get a bunch of ex-Rangers etc together for a last hoorah beating the monsters.

[Jersey Chick]

No - Not the cute cuddly pets! Anything but that...:cry:

[reigningcatsndogs]

In Canada, we have Fish & Wildlife Officers -- and they would be the ones the police would call first. (FYI -- we used to refer to them as the Fur & Fins Department, unless they made us mad, and then we called them Birds and Bunnies). If we had any calls involving anything living but not human, they were always involved. In Canada they had national jurisdiction so they could go anywhere without an issue.

[frimble3]

Yep, that'd be the Canadian solution: hand the aliens over to the Fisheries Department. Who will proceed to issue a wildly optimistic estimate of their number and then sit quietly while they are wiped out illness, overfishing and human activity. Worked on the cod and the salmon. At the end of the usual government five-year plan, the aliens will be gone, their species decimated and their homeworld a barren waste. Victory!

[Lyra Jean]

My first thoughts would be Scully and Mulder who run the X-Files. But they are FBI so I reckon they covered. If the small town has a couple that look like a version of Scully and Mulder they are bound to show up.

Scully will say it is some genetic mutation or just a pack of wolves while Mulder will claim it's the Jersey's Devil's cousin or aliens.

Sorry I don't have a "real" answer.

[FinbarReilly]

Oh, and just for clarification, "teen heroes" doesn't mean Scooby and the Gang; I'm referring to something like Sailor Moon or Power Ranger...Much better against monsters!

FR

[Tornadoboy]

No - Not the cute cuddly pets! Anything but that...:cry:

Ok, just for you sweety I'll only kill their owners, whom are stupid enough to go running back into the monster infested house to retrieve them, even after they've already reached safety.

Sorry Fluffy, but if the boogeyman comes a'knocking, you're on your own.

[slcboston]

The BPRD (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bureau_for_Paranormal_Research_and_Defense). Or something like them. :guns:

(And don't go telling me there isn't some such agency out there... I don't believe that for a minute.:e2salute: )

[ChaosTitan]

Although I would like to think the local group of teen heroes, the most likely REAL response would depend on the monster; it would be either for the police to take it down themselves, or animal control. In extreme cases, they may deputize some locals, but otherwise the police would be the most likely people to respond.

I still like the idea of teen heroes, however...

FR


Kinda like The Monster Squad (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093560/). :D

Only, you know, if your town is under attack by Dracula and the Wolf Man.... ;)

[Soccer Mom]

In Texas, we could call Parks and Wildlife game wardens or Texas Rangers. I would suspect state police would be more likely to call in their own P&W dept. Evacuate? Not bloody likely without an order from the govenor and short of a hurricane, that's dang hard to get. They don't want to panic anyone.

[Izunya]

Don't forget the park service. I'm not in law enforcement, but I think they're the people who get called in for, say, relocating wayward bears.

Izunya

[JoniBGoode]

Even if the Nat'l Guard is called, would they come? There has to be a damn good reason, and the consent of assorted brass before they're mobilized. Slapping on the Homeland Security threat will get them there quicker, also phoning the local FBI office might help. A quicker backup may be the local Vets Admin to get a bunch of ex-Rangers etc together for a last hoorah beating the monsters.

In natural disasters, it's the Governor who calls out the National Guard, so I'm going to assume that it's the same with monster attacks. But I like the Canadian solution best. As long as everyone is polite, who cares if the aliens eat a few locals?

[FinbarReilly]

If you need some inspiration, there is the "I hate Saturdays" commercial series on Scifi...

FR

[zenwriter]

I'm just guessing here, but how about a cryptozoologist? That seems like someone who might know about unusual animals and the like.

[GeorgeK]

Who gets called in next? I mean, besides Ghostbusters?
. :D

Geraldo Rivera and he can do a show about the occult goings on in East Bodunk.

[Tornadoboy]

Geraldo Rivera and he can do a show about the occult goings on in East Bodunk.

Nah, because he'd turn it into a live, Al Capone's Vault-kind of thing while leading cameras to the scene, and when the time came to show the carnage, he'd find out he's in the wrong town.

[Glen T. Brock]

Hello folks,

If by small town you mean a rural area I would think a veterianarain would top the list for a strange animal attack. If you recall, in George Pal's version of WAR OF THE WORLDS the first warning of the martians arrival came from the forestry department (smoke spotters). Then, going through the bureaucracy from the sheriff's department through the state patrol and finally the state national guard. In THEM! the feds got involved because a vacationing FBI agent was murdered early in the film. The FBI got the scientists involved to identify tracks left at the crime scene when the feds couldn't identify them.

Glen T. Brock

[Jimbo]

Any sensible cop would call the state police if something come up that he can't handle. The Staties would call the governor if they can't handle it and only he can activate the national guard. I'm an ex-cop and never ran into a situation we couldn't handle, but poop happens!

[zahra]

Any sensible cop would call the state police if something come up that he can't handle. The Staties would call the governor if they can't handle it and only he can activate the national guard. I'm an ex-cop and never ran into a situation we couldn't handle, but poop happens!
What if something uncanny happened? If the thing you saw was just not possible? Anthropologically or otherwise? Would you keep it to yourself, or would you risk your colleagues thinking you'd gone snapcracklepop?

There's a well-documented case of some British security guards (or they might have been police, I forget) who had a spooky experinece on the Stocksbride by-pass, and were found crying in terror back at headquarters. Later, they took sanctuary in the local church and the poor vicar couldn't get rid of them!

[Jimbo]

I spent 2 years in Alaska as a Military policeman and also several years as a special agent/special investigator. Most of my friends knew I was nuts and if I told them I saw something strange, they'd come out to see for themselves. I never did see anything weird, or really strange, but if I did, we trusted each other not to say anything to the officers.

[Jimbo]

also, it sounds like those cops in Britain were slipped some kind of hallucinogen.

[zahra]

also, it sounds like those cops in Britain were slipped some kind of hallucinogen.
Entirely possible.

[Rabe]

Actually if I write the story I ought to kill off a lot of teen heroes just on general principles, along with obnoxious comic relief characters, the old man who walks around saying "You're all dooooooomed!", and lots of annoyingly cute pets!


Okay, I'm all for the killing of 'teen heroes' unless that group consists of a buff blonde with a killer sense of wit, a hot red-headed lesbian witch and a bunny hating ancient in years but youthful of face moneygrubbing literal ex-demon turned teen hero.

(you can go ahead an kill the brooding 'immortal' first boyfriend and the drugged up farm boy soldier second boyfriend though - in fact, you do that and I'll consider sending a reward)



The local police would be very quick in figuring out that the situation is WAY over their heads, so they would of course call the state police.


Be sure that they are actual state police. In my state we have 'highway patrol' and while they do have statewide jurisdiction and are sworn police officers, their jurisdiction is mostly traffic in nature and would not be called to take over for these types of calls. They MAY be called in as cannon fodder though. Depending on which higher up in the sheriff department just got their latest speeding ticket. ;>


After a quick assessment of the scene to confirm that the locals are not smoking crack, they in turn would bring in detectives, forensic experts, the FBI because of the number of people missing and perhaps a wildlife expert or two.


Number of bodies does not necessarily involve the FBI. There has to be some federal element to the crime. Such as murders over state lines, kidnapping across state lines and bank robbery. Or some other federal statute.

Ditto for the national guard.

However the FIRST call the police would make would be to the local hospital to see if they have room to involuntarily commit the person reporting the 'monster'.

Rabe...

[Rabe]

I spent 2 years in Alaska as a Military policeman and also several years as a special agent/special investigator. Most of my friends knew I was nuts and if I told them I saw something strange, they'd come out to see for themselves. I never did see anything weird, or really strange, but if I did, we trusted each other not to say anything to the officers.

Uh uh...here's a fish story!

Cops NEVER keep those kinds of secrets! Especially when they can use it to rag on one of their own (which will happen when there isn't an officer from another [and therefore inherently inferior] agency around to rag upon). This will continue *until* someone does something to top the original story.

Even then, the new victim may be clever enough to get his own 'stupid story' downplayed and deflect attention back to the original person. Now, if this story is told to other agencies (who are, again, inherently inferior) then either the officer being ragged on is either really well liked or really disliked. Kind of hard to know which sometimes.

Rabe...
...who has been on the receiving end of the 'ragging' one time too often...

[BlueLucario]

Who you gonna call?

MAROONE!

[wendygoerl]

How 'bout the DNR? One of the members of my local writer's group (which met today) read her story about a swan on their property that stole a Canadian gander's mate and eventuall got shot by the DNR because it had been attacking children at a nearby resort (broke one kid's arm).