Show, don't tell..blah blah. Well, what's OK to tell?

[Optimus]

Just wondering what you guys think. I'm referring mainly to character descriptions here.

Sometimes, I think it's perfectly fine to "tell" the reader something about a character that won't necessarily be overtly "shown" on screen. Nothing big, but something that gives the reader just a bit more of an understanding of the character without having to wade through 50 pages to figure it out.

I can't really think of any examples.

Ya got any?

[Joe Calabrese]

From "Bull Durham:"

ANNIE SAVOY, mid 30's, touches up her face. Very pretty,
knowing, outwardly confident. Words flow from her Southern
lips with ease, but her view of the world crosses Southern,
National and International borders. She's cosmic.

From "The Green Mile"

JOHN COFFEY
is a huge black man, nearly 7 feet tall and 300 pounds, his
massive head shiny and bald, his skin a tapestry of old
scars, his prison overalls (the biggest size they had) ending
at mid-calf. He looks dull and confused, as if wondering
where he is and how he got there.

or

BRUTUS HOWELL(nicknamed "Brutal" for his intimidating size,
but he's actually rather thoughtful by nature) stands at the
entry door of the cellblock, peering out through a viewing
slot. He sees the prison truck arrive at the main gate.

From Good Will Hunting

CHUCKIE SULLIVAN, 20, and the largest
of the bunch. He is loud, boisterous, a born entertainer.
Next to him is WILL HUNTING, 20, handsome and confident, a
soft-spoken leader. On Will's right sits BILLY MCBRIDE, 22,
heavy, quiet, someone you definitely wouldn't want to tangle
with. Finally there is MORGAN O'MALLY, 19, smaller than the
other guys. Wiry and anxious, Morgan listens to Chuckie's
horror stories with eager disgust.

Saving Private Ryan

CAPTAIN JOHN MILLER. Early thirties. By far
the oldest man on the craft. Relaxed, battle-hardened,
powerful, ignoring the hell around them. He smiles, puts a
cigar in his mouth, strikes a match on the front of DeLancey's
helmet and lights the cigar.

[vig]

from the wild bunch

PIKE BISHOP, wearing lieutnants bars rides slightly ahead of the others. Pike is not unhandsome , leather faced man in his early forties. a thoughful, self educated top gun with a penchant for violence who is afraid of nothing -except the chains in himself and those around him.

the bottom line is if you read scripts, there are the answers, and i've read more scripts than anyone of my peers. writing is like cooking, very much... you try a little of this, little of that, see what tastes good, do others like how it tastes....

i'm going to say something, know, this might turn peoples stomachs, but it's something that made me want it.... a year and a half ago when i was struggling with my partner in writing, my voice, my style, and i coudn't decide what i wanted to do, we got a call from three diffferent people all interested in our indie, feeling good script. what they said, all three of them was you have a great voice, and you'll work in this business, but getting this script made is nearly impossible.... then they proceeded to to rip apart the script they said they liked so much...... i mean they wanted a dolphin instead of a knife... i mean who brings a dolphin to a gun fight.....

you know what that taught me, it taught me to shutup about things that aen't for sure, and try to write something highconcept. so, i started reading, and reading and reading.... and what struck me was that all the bullshaite you here from people on message boards is crap.

you can do almost anything you want, and you if you read you will find a script that did the same thing......... not only that, they basically described their character almost like you described yours.

writing for most is about colletive fear, fear that your doing it wrong. i read 'infinitive jest' 8 years ago, and that book had nothing that resembled what i've read before and much of that style can be seen in my work.

you have to get the reader invested, and sometimes that calls for bringing a little bit of backstory to his description. there are things you shouldn't use, like we see, when you don't have to, and there are times when you use we see, when it sounds good, or is appropriate.

here is a couple more things, you know why it's so hard to read hundreds of scripts, cause even if they are great, you have to feed the kids, go to the bathroom, get the kids to somewhere, work, do something, so people go into writing with maybe 2 hours a day to actually write.... how can you do all the things you need to do to be great if you don' t have the time.

YOU CAN'T. that's why people aren't good at what they do, cause they don't do it. think about this, if your job was to write 10 hours a day, for ayear, you could do a hell of a lot.

since nov 1. i decided that i would go full bore until may 1st, working as little as possible at the business i own, during the slow tme, to do as much as i could do in writing, i've written two scripts and one getting there.

life is about opportunity cost, what you are willing to give up, to get what you want. what you are sacraficing in order to grab that carrot. and in most cases that carrot will always be uneaten.

so at some point, you have to focus, do what has to be done, and that is write, and take advice and try to be humble. lol. sure, you have to prop yourself up like i do, cause this business is a lonely, self abusing proposition and if you don't do all the things that make you beleive you're on the right track, you're just pissing into the wind.

writing is a state of mind and even with all the talent i THINK, i have i know deep down that i really don't have as much as others do, but what i do have i exploit, and what i don't have i obtain.

knowledge is about fidning in yourself the courage to say to yourself, if you don't suceed, its' because you weren't good enough, and you've failed.

this is a task, not a self esteem course.

failure is limitation, and what is worse than not becoming what you think you are?

vig

vig

[maestrowork]

Just like in a novel, there are character traits you don't need to "show" -- you can jump right out and describe the character when they appear. As we discussed in the Novel forums (and this applies to screenplays as well, I believe), you should gives just enough *relevant* description of the character the first time they appear, and not "surprise" the readers 50 pages later that "you're now telling me he is black, with blond hair, and built like a bulldozer" after they're convinced the guy is white, Italian and skinny like a twig.

Same goes with something that the readers might want to know that helps with his motivation, without having a long backstory to back it up....

Greg, 32, wears a dark suit. His morose expression tells us his parents just died.

(it's a really subjective thing, I suppose. Some of the info should probably come out in dialogue or something later. But like you said, you might want to throw the readers a small piece of bone instead of sprinkling information all over the script. As long as it enhances your story and characters, I'd say go for it)

[Optimus]

All good examples, guys. That's what I was looking for.

Thanks.

[Vipersniper]

:Hug2: Shirley Mahler's perfume entered the room before she did. Red Griffin understood that she was a looker but a woman that wore a perfume with an exoitic heady aroma did things to his brain and his body that he had been warned about.
"Red don't let the organ between your legs overule the organ between your ears. A beautiful woman can be deadly in our line of work." When she stepped into his office Red forgot all about the warning his fellow detective had given him. Shirley was stunning and she was the woman that he had only dreamed of in his wildest wet dreams.

This is how I described my character in a novel that I am working on called I'm No Stranger To The Rain. A fictionalized account of a real murder trial that was held last year in Virginia. What do you think. They say that in writing to hit them with a punch and keep hitting it on the head. Then to end with a hard hitting punch and so I suppose you should build your characters the same way.

[scripter1]

give enough of a description to color and guide the actions of the immediate scene. You want the reader/actor to have some kind of idea how they will behave upon entrance. A frame of reference, a jumping off point for the actions.
We need to know if this person is loud and aggressive or timid and quiet right from the bat.

(hint, if you find yourself writing a whole bunch of parentheticals then you probably need to strengthen your characters and their descriptions.)



The best thing to do is give an interesting one or two line description (as indicated in the excellent examples) and then IMEDIATLY follow it up by a strong action that SHOWS us the character.
If you describe a character as being heroic then have them do something heroic.
If they are submissive then SHOW them submitting.
Don't state it and then wait three or four pages to reveal it.
This is how a character "stays on the page."
You may tell us that they are heroic but if they don't DO anything heroic then that description is only in the writing. It's not filmable.


Character isn't revealed throughout the script, it's only developed.
People are who they are at that exact moment you met them.
You discover the details of their nature layer by layer as they are exposed to conflict.