How repetitive is too repetitive in a PB?

[jannawrites]

Kids love repetition, this I know. But how much is too much? A ms I wrote a few years ago begs to be revisited, but I think it may fall into the category of redundancy. Like, say the theme is a goat (just in example) and "the silly billy goat named willy" is mentioned on each page. Too much?

It works for Eric Carle, a la Does A Kangaroo Have A Mother, Too? Every page follows the pattern: "...Yes! A kangaroo has a mother. Just like me and you. Does a lion have a mother, too? Yes! A lion has a mother. Just like me and you. Does a giraffe have a mother, too?..."

It gets quite old when reading it aloud (fear not, I still love The Very Hungry Caterpillar), but my kids enjoy it. Your thoughts?

[dolores haze]

How strange! I just logged on to AW after working on a children's story, and I was asking myself exactly the same question.

Children seem to really enjoy those repetitive phrases. The learn them quickly, and soon they are "reading" the story all by themselves. They also ask for their favorite stories to be read over and over again. Although the repetition gets too much for me, it never seems to get too much for them.

Without actually reading your ms it's pretty impossible for me to say if you have too much repetition. As I'm in the same position myself I'd be happy to exchange crits, either in SYW or privately. Let me know.

[wyntermoon]

I find the Biscuit series adorable and perfect starting-reader books for my girls. Lily can easily identify most of the words by now so I think repetition is key to learning at this stage.

However.

I'd keep it in short sentences rather than have them repeat long ones over and over and over and over...

[spike]

Look at successful books that have repetition. Is it one sentence? One phrase? One word?

Read those books aloud. How do they sound?

Try giving your ms to someone who has not read it and ask them to read it aloud. Take note of where they stumble or any awkwardness.

[brainstrains]

I think I was reading THE NAPPING HOUSE by Audrey Wood to my daughter and on the cover it says something about how repetition is soothing and pleasing to children. This particular book is an add-on type, like the 12 Days of Christmas, which incidentally, kids seem to like a lot (though most adults get driven insane by them).

[jannawrites]

Thanks for all the input, gang!

[Bufty]

It's not simply the fact that something is repeated. It's a very careful word choice and a sense of rhythm in the repeated phrase.

The 'silly billy goat' one doesn't do it for me, I'm afraid. It's the 'named willy' which doesn't quite ring right to me, but then it's probably not aimed at me...

[jannawrites]

It was just an example I pulled out of the air while posting. I wouldn't opt for phrasing like that, either.

[Bufty]

I know. :Hug2:

It was just an example I pulled out of the air while posting. I wouldn't opt for phrasing like that, either.

[MsJudy]

It has to do with matching the words and the content to the age, I think. The younger the reader, the more repetition is cool. As the story gets a little more sophisticated, then it can start to sound dorky.

The Napping House is a good example. Yeah, the story builds and repeats (a la The House That Jack Built) but she finds a new way to say "sleeping" on every page. And she knows when to stop, too!