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EriRae
05-13-2012, 02:03 AM
I am not a fan of "weeping," as in, "weeping slit," or "rosebud." Something that can squick me right out of a scene: a character saying, "Breed my ass." This makes me think of injecting a female donkey with semen. I also dislike the word, "globes," to describe either ass cheeks or breasts. Globes are 360 degrees, so maybe I could handle "half-globes," if the word didn't draw me so far out of the story. Who wants to think about geography when they're reading erotica? Is he gripping Australia or South America?

silent_count
05-14-2012, 12:22 AM
I also dislike the word, "globes," to describe either ass cheeks or breasts. Globes are 360 degrees, so maybe I could handle "half-globes," if the word didn't draw me so far out of the story. Who wants to think about geography when they're reading erotica? Is he gripping Australia or South America?
I've always been mildly curious about why they call Australia, "down under". I confess that, "it came about because some erotica writers incorrectly use the word 'globe'", had hitherto not occurred to me. :)

Tally
05-14-2012, 12:12 PM
I recently read a story where it was a dagger and sheath every time. Every time. It was dagger and sheath so much that eventually I couldn't help but imagine an actual dagger, and suddenly the whole story became oh so painful to read.

WriterDude
05-16-2012, 04:28 AM
Can I add the word clout?

I was using the word in two different contexts long before the third meaning was brought to my attention.

What does clout mean to you?

Silver-Midnight
05-16-2012, 12:43 PM
Can I add the word clout?

I was using the word in two different contexts long before the third meaning was brought to my attention.

What does clout mean to you?
I'm afraid to ask what's the definition that put it in this thread.

WriterDude
05-17-2012, 12:46 AM
I'm afraid to ask what's the definition that put it in this thread.

When I was a child, a clout was something you'd receive if you were naughty.
Then, I learned that if anything needed to get done, I would have to speak to someone with clout down the council.
Now, having moved to the other side of the hill, clout is more exclusively used with reference to the most desirable of all things. The front bottom.

It may just be a Lancashire thing, but following the uniform expressions of speechless horror when I used the term in a planning meeting many years ago, I thought the latter use was universal.

Maryn
05-17-2012, 01:46 AM
I've only heard the word 'clout' used to mean power and connections ("The police commissioner has the clout to make these tickets disappear."), never a blow and certainly never any aspect of female anatomy.

Language. Amazing stuff, isn't it?

Maryn, big language fan

CaseyMack
07-07-2012, 11:27 AM
Moist and damp are awful words.

When I hear "moist," I think cake.

When I hear "damp," I think mildew.

In neither case do I think "sex"...

M.Macabre
07-07-2012, 09:29 PM
Echoing the whole clout mystery. As in a target? When I hear clout I think of clot, some sort of bloody, bundled medical nightmare of a mess.


When I hear "moist," I think cake.



Moist is my least favorite word. Just say it- it makes me want to gargle. But for some reason, that makes it more salacious because I hate it so much.

WriterDude
07-08-2012, 01:08 AM
But moist is such a promising word.

I have a line in my wip "...her knickers were sodden" Good or bad?

Don't want to start a new thread for this one either, but I have thoroughly bored myself with the word Twitch and I'm looking for replacement.

M.Macabre
07-08-2012, 05:35 AM
But moist is such a promising word.

I have a line in my wip "...her knickers were sodden" Good or bad?

Don't want to start a new thread for this one either, but I have thoroughly bored myself with the word Twitch and I'm looking for replacement.

When I hear sodden I think lumpy :/ Which makes it sound like she's sick,
but that's probably just me.

GiantRampagingPencil
07-11-2012, 05:10 AM
"Vulva." Ugliest. Word. Ever. Closely followed by "scrotum."

WildScribe
07-11-2012, 07:21 AM
When I hear sodden I think lumpy :/ Which makes it sound like she's sick,
but that's probably just me.

When I hear the word sodden I think of a heavy blanket that was left out in the rain. *shudder*

GiantRampagingPencil
07-11-2012, 08:34 AM
I actually knew a dog named Scrotum. He was a terrier/mutt who was a falconer's dog... nothing like watching a grown man yell "Scrotum!" in the middle of a blackberry bush while this ugly little dog flushes out a rabbit for a hawk. Totally not sexy (okay, the falconer was... something about men wearing leather chaps)



"Nether hole." Cunt. Asshole. "Channel". I guess there's a fine line between too crude or too flowery.

Nether hole? Jesus.

Kit Walker
07-12-2012, 04:52 AM
I have a line in my wip "...her knickers were sodden" Good or bad?



I dunno -- "sodden" always makes me think not just "wet" but "wet and dirty/soiled". Would "her knickers were soaked" work for you?

Paul
07-12-2012, 05:18 AM
ticklestick.

(i think it was Ken Dodd who coined it, not sure. oh, and 'up the wazooo'. )

Julie Ambrose
07-16-2012, 07:01 AM
Actually, I quite like vulva. It reminds me of velvet. I use it a fair bit, but always among a range of softer descriptions. I reckon it's all about context.

This is a great thread. I find it so hard to be both accurate and sensual without cliché (or, worse, over-reaching). Almost impossible, actually. I agree with many of the gag words... Purple helmeted warrior is gasp-inducing.

Having said that, I hate to think how many individual terms I've included that make the vision blur... 'Manhood' is one I've relied on a little too often (but then I'm working in an old-fashioned context).

But really, the lexicon is limited... I'd love to hear someone invent a new and delightful word for each body part.

I used 'pestle' once... Now that could make people laugh, or in the right context they might go with it. :)

Feral_Sophisticate
07-25-2012, 12:31 PM
Actually, I quite like vulva. It reminds me of velvet. I use it a fair bit, but always among a range of softer descriptions. I reckon it's all about context.

I like the comparison with velvet, too, and I get the same connection when I hear "vulva", too.

Of course, I'm also an unabashed fan of performing cunnilingus, and quite enjoy the fact that the Victorian slang for eating at the Y was "tipping the velvet".

So yes, more velvet for me, please.

Tezzirax
08-06-2012, 12:05 AM
Cooch - lowers my pulsrate immediately. If I am ever going into de-fib just lovingly whisper "cooch" in my ear.

WildScribe
08-07-2012, 03:18 AM
Hehe, Cooch makes me giggle.

Goblynmarket
08-26-2012, 01:50 PM
I'm a big fan of vulva. The word too, but I can't think of it without thinking of the chocolate vulva-pops they sold at the Vagina Monologes.

The worst, not really disgusting or a turn-off, but just down right confusing was 'bilobate', having two lobes. It was used for a woman's chest. I read the line ten times, and even googled it to be sure. To date I'm still don't exacting know what the author was trying to say about her breast. That she did in fact have two of them?

Hoo-haa is fun too.

Hunter S Johnson
09-10-2014, 04:54 PM
"Vulva." Ugliest. Word. Ever. Closely followed by "scrotum."

I know I'm new here and I hope it isn't bad form to resurrect a thread that is two years dead, but I spent an hour reading this thread laughing my ass off, and I just had to add something. If you joined AW after this thread, it is worth going through from the beginning... LOL

I'm right there with GRP... "Scrotum" is a terrible word, but there are few substitutes. I default to "balls" or "sac" or even "nuts", if need be... Don't know why, but even as much as I like it in real life, typing the phrase "she nuzzled his scrotum" but makes me feel skeevy...

"Vulva" makes me think of an unreliable and ugly European car with replacement parts that are difficult to come by.

"Honey pot" makes me giggle every time, because I have only seen those words written, but never heard them spoken. "Spunk" also makes me laugh, don't ask me why... I could swear that "Spunky" was one of the Lil' Rascals. "Plunge" gets a poor review amongst the posters here, but I like that one, too, ie, you plunge into a pool, or plunge into a pussy... I like the image of "diving in"... Just me?

I am not surprised that "cunt" gets such a negative response, but I personally like it. I used to have a girl that hated the word in the abstract, but loved it when I called her "my little cunt". Brits I have met use this all the time, and it doesn't have the stigma it does in America. I used to work with a dozen Brits, and it almost didn't have a sexual connotation, in the way they used it.

The lesson I have learned from this thread is that you should use slang and terminology that suits the tone and characters you are writing about. If your setting is Victorian, "cooch" doesn't fit, but some of these silly euphemisms work just fine. If your main character is a contemporary rapper and you can't bring yourself to type "dick" and "pussy", you may be in the wrong line of work. Many of the words that people hate here I have used in my WIP, because they "fit". I work around people of all ages that often speak sexually, and I have a good thermometer of what both men and women say when speaking about sex, and I think that writing realistically is what will work best.

And just because I pride myself on being unique, let me throw one out there not mentioned yet... can't remember where I heard this, but when I was dating the woman that would later become my wife, we were talking about a previous girlfriend my woman was a jealous of, and I referred to my ex as a "Steak-Umm babe"...

She said, "What is that?"

I replied, "That's a woman whose genitalia has the meaty appearance and mottled pink and brown coloration one associates with an underdone Steak-Umm...."

She never let me forget that.

I don't think I will every write that in a story, because it isnt even remotely "erotic"...but I got that in my back pocket, if that metaphor ever works... LOL

CharleeBeck
09-10-2014, 08:52 PM
Heehee, I'm with you, but it's "purple-helmeted warrior" that does it for me.:flag:

If I saw that in a story I don't even know what I'd do. I'd feel so lost and like... violated and stuff.

HannahWing
10-03-2014, 11:24 AM
Someone told me that they read a lot of MM erotica where the characters "butthole flutters" when they get aroused.

I died laughing. I would feel so bad for anyone that actually experienced that. Imagine the anxiety you would feel if every time you saw someone you were attracted to, your sphincter became unreliable.

RosalynGlas
10-21-2014, 12:36 AM
I LOVE "laved." I USE laved. :D It just sounds so "Roman Empire," but only when it's used in contemporary romance.

Thomas Vail
10-24-2014, 06:43 AM
Nether hole? Jesus.
I think Jesus would be about neither hole.

Chris P
10-24-2014, 07:19 AM
Nether hole? Sorry, makes me think of a tunnel to the London sewers.

Not so much a gag me/turn off word, but I get annoyed with the term "vanilla sex." It's bandied around as if it's a wasted opportunity ("It was so vanilla I just couldn't stand it."). Now, I agree with this when the scene is much tamer than the tone set by the situation, but why does every sex scene have to be over-the-top screamers? If the scene calls for that then fine, but not every scene needs to be that to make the point the scene needs to make. Sometimes the story calls for vanilla.

ViridianChick
10-24-2014, 08:53 AM
Nether hole? Sorry, makes me think of a tunnel to the London sewers.

Not so much a gag me/turn off word, but I get annoyed with the term "vanilla sex." It's bandied around as if it's a wasted opportunity ("It was so vanilla I just couldn't stand it.").

I imagine that's because the people who think of it as "vanilla sex" generally don't enjoy it much.

gambit924
11-04-2014, 07:02 AM
One thing I hate is when people use the word cum. What the hell is that? It's not even a damn word. Then again, I hear it most often in fanfiction and at places like fiction press, so...Yeah. Is it so hard to write the word come, or came? and it should not be used as the name of the fluid of ejaculation. That just isn't right either. Guess I need to find some better erotic, somewhere off fan fic and those types of websites. Anyway, just my opinion. Cum is not a word. Just made me think of something gross, but it wouldn't make me cum. :P

Chris P
11-04-2014, 07:39 AM
One thing I hate is when people use the word cum. What the hell is that? It's not even a damn word. Then again, I hear it most often in fanfiction and at places like fiction press, so...Yeah. Is it so hard to write the word come, or came? and it should not be used as the name of the fluid of ejaculation. That just isn't right either. Guess I need to find some better erotic, somewhere off fan fic and those types of websites. Anyway, just my opinion. Cum is not a word. Just made me think of something gross, but it wouldn't make me cum. :P

Strangely, the Oxford English Dictionary does not have this word, by either spelling, listed in this way. I have no idea how it came to be (har! har!). All I can guess is that in butter churning, when the butter clumps and becomes butter, some older references say that "the butter has come," in the sense of "the butter has arrived." Not a large mental leap from butter churning to sex.

There is even an old nursery rhyme I found online:

Come, butter, come,
Come, butter, come!
Peter stands at the gate,
Waiting for a buttered cake;
Come, butter, come.

gambit924
11-04-2014, 07:41 AM
Hahahahahahaha...Ew...

yosoya
11-04-2014, 09:29 AM
I'm not a fan of the words 'battle' or 'duel'.

I read way too much fanfiction when I was younger in which authors described 'tongues battling for dominance'.

Maryn
11-04-2014, 05:48 PM
On the other hand, using cum as a noun is perfectly clear for the reader. Most of the other nouns are awfully medical-sounding, and the analogies and euphemisms become ridiculous pretty quickly.

Maryn, who uses come when it's a verb

Marian Perera
11-04-2014, 07:57 PM
"Vulva" turns me off. It sounds so clinical, and makes me expect to encounter the vagina and the perineum in short order. At which point I'm in anatomy class, not bed.

Maryn
11-04-2014, 09:52 PM
Seeing the word "uvula" or "vuvuzela" makes me think of "vulva," even. Not cool!

Maryn, like that

Amon Iker
11-05-2014, 01:59 AM
Anything overwrought, or excessively cutesy. E.g. bearded clam, trouser snake, fudge factory, flesh dumplings, and so on. I'd like to think I have a pretty high tolerance for unconventional word choices, but there are limits.

Physical improbabilities can also be troublesome. Someone earlier in the thread mentioned 'butthole flutters,' which sounds like a poor soul who's verging on prolapse.

gambit924
11-05-2014, 04:29 AM
How about "cream filled delicacy"? I read that one once. It was hilarious, hahaha. and cum is still not a word, though I will say that having things too anatomically correct is annoying.

B.G. Dobbins
11-07-2014, 07:21 AM
Anything too scientific or medical to refer to actions or body parts. Raunchy words are much preferable to words like "vagina" or "penis." My gynecologist looks at my vagina. My husband looks at my pussy.

Also, most metaphors annoy me in sex scenes. Female genitals are not flowers, petals, buds, etc. Just like male genitals are not swords, members, or rods. Lips and shafts are okay with me, though.

Let's see...what else? Don't like humping, because all I can think of is what my two males dogs used to do (it was a dominance thing, I think). Mounds are pretty good chocolate candies, so they have no place in my erotica of choice. And "moist" grates my nerves finely, and my husband entertains himself on this fact at times.

Haha, someone said mounted. That one doesn't really bother me that much. Not a deal breaker anyway. I agree with crotch. Sounds dirty, and not in a good way.

TessB
11-15-2014, 05:08 AM
"Flesh dumplings" is killing me.

(Hi, btw! I'm new!)

I write historicals, so the slang I use for parts is going to be different than the contemporary (and a few of my usual favourites have shown up in here, alas!). I tend to come down more on the anatomical side than 'cum' and 'trouser snake,' but I will say that I gave up entirely on one story I read that used the words "seminal emissions." (As in 'he came, spurting his seminal emissions across her abdomen.') I think the only context in which I could cope with that one would be if the POV character was a very dedicated medical professional. :P

The word I absolutely can't stand in any context is 'gobble.' Even typing it out makes me cringe! "Gobbled his cock" ... I just... no. I don't even know what it is about the word, precisely; it's like nails on a chalkboard.

HannahWing
11-20-2014, 07:57 PM
The word I absolutely can't stand in any context is 'gobble.' Even typing it out makes me cringe! "Gobbled his cock" ... I just... no. I don't even know what it is about the word, precisely; it's like nails on a chalkboard.

Hahaha, oh my gosh, I'm picturing something like Cookie Monster when he goes to town on a plate of cookies....

TessB
11-20-2014, 08:01 PM
I know, right? There's nothing sensual, or even remotely appealing, about That Word.

(And of course now I'm having mental images of flying dicks being tossed everywhere... LOL!)

HannahWing
11-21-2014, 05:36 PM
I know, right? There's nothing sensual, or even remotely appealing, about That Word.

(And of course now I'm having mental images of flying dicks being tossed everywhere... LOL!)

hahaha,I'm dying! I got the same image. Like a woman goes to go down on a guy, then when he pulls his pants off, she turns into an erotica version of cookie monster.... I love it! it has the same tragic romance elements as Twilight. They can't be together because one of them is a monster.

TessB
11-21-2014, 05:50 PM
I double-dog dare you to write that. XD (Is there a flash-fiction challenge thread? If not, can we start one?)

Kallithrix
11-23-2014, 03:31 PM
I imagine that's because the people who think of it as "vanilla sex" generally don't enjoy it much.

My lover said he didn't enjoy vanilla sex. He said it was boring and did nothing for him.

Then I showed him he'd just been doing it wrong ;) Or maybe just widened his definition of vanilla. No, it does not mean lights off, socks on missionary :D

A word I can't stand in erotica is pussy. I don't know why, but it just seems so demeaning and derogatory to me, the sort of word that men use in porn films all the time as a way of dehumanising the woman, turning her into an object provided for their sexual fulfillment, not hers. If I hear it during sex it's like throwing a bucket of cold water over me.

On the other hand, c*nt is my turn on word. Again, dunno why, because some people find this utterly offensive, but to me it's dirty in a sexy way.

RDArmstrong
11-25-2014, 07:59 PM
Authors must have been drunk when writing some of these.

Anything dairy related is just bad. Not that I'm much of a fan of anything food related as a metaphor for sexual instruments.

Roxxsmom
11-26-2014, 03:11 AM
The word I absolutely can't stand in any context is 'gobble.' Even typing it out makes me cringe! "Gobbled his cock" ... I just... no. I don't even know what it is about the word, precisely; it's like nails on a chalkboard.

OMG gobble. That makes me think of turkeys.

No, just no. Even when US Thanksgiving isn't just around the corner.

RemaCaracappa
12-03-2014, 01:15 PM
Thinking along these lines....I guess you need to describe the pole. Does he have a river pole, surf pole or the mack daddy deep sea fishing pole. I love this thread. I'm already laughing this morning.

Arright, I know this is an old one but now I really think that a "Mack daddy deep sea fishing pole" is just begging to be written about.

Maryn
12-03-2014, 06:36 PM
And you're just the writer to do it!

unionrdr
12-04-2014, 05:14 AM
Well, since y'all don't like many sex words...how about " the incredible heat seeking moisture missile"...with his one-eyed pilot Mr Happy? Or..." put some beef in yer taco"? Or...roamin' those rounded hills & bushy valleys?...just a suggestion or two...

Chris P
12-04-2014, 05:24 AM
The word I absolutely can't stand in any context is 'gobble.' Even typing it out makes me cringe! "Gobbled his cock" ... I just... no. I don't even know what it is about the word, precisely; it's like nails on a chalkboard.

Haha! The only place I remember reading that was in Stephen King's The Stand. It was oddly descriptive in an ice cream cone kind of way the first time he used it, "yeah, yeah, okay" the second time, then "oh, please" each time after.

Kalli- I agree with you on pussy. I think I've heard too many guys say it with venom to have it mean anything sexy to me.

"Incredible heat seeking moisture missile," however, is literary gold. If you want your character to be 16, horny, drunk and about to get refused, that is.

unionrdr
12-04-2014, 06:14 PM
I couldn't resist a bit humor from my youth. I thought it was funny to look back on...

Jerboa
12-07-2014, 02:14 AM
I was reading something the other day and had to put it down because of the horrible, horrible sex words! I thought of this thread but have since forgotten what the words were. Which is probably just as well.