Classics Redux

PattiTheWicked

Unleashing Hell.
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So I'm trapped in the car with my teen for six hours yesterday, and we were talking about the merits of reading classic literature in addition to enjoying contemporary stuff. She's reading Meg Cabot, I'm going through my Jane Austen library. Thus spawned an idea, a la Bridget Jones.

Here's your assignment: take a piece of classic or well-known literature, and re-write it in a way that would be appealing to a more commercial, contemporary audience. Present a brief summary. I'll start.

Sex and Sensibility

Marrie Dashwood loves living in the Hamptons with her sisters Ellie and Marge, but when their father dies, they're left with nothing. Marrie's mother is forced to give up the family home and move to a flat on the lower East side. Mrs. Dashwood spends a lot of time selling her jewelry on e-bay and trying to marry off her girls to appropriate suitors. Marrie is in love with the dashing club owner Willoughby, while Ellie pines away for a man promised to another -- shoe designer Eddie "Mr. Big" Ferrars. Eventually, when Willoughby rejects Marrie during an art gallery opening, she realizes that she's far better off with an investment broker named Brandon.

Your turn.