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- Aug 7, 2005
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As most of you know by now, I work part-time in a department store. Most of the guys I work with are great; one or two are...well, chumps. So, being a mature, loving Christian woman, I've decided...
...to bite back, by writing a sexually-deviant, explicit, bonkbusting tell-all expose of life as a sales adviser. Obviously not based on my own experience, of course, being a mild-mannered, moral, celibate, teetotal innocent. I mean, based on my observances while working in this place.
Two and a half weeks until my contract runs out and I don't have a plot. Well, I don't outline anyway so that's no matter. All I usually need is an inciting incident or situation, and some characters. Characters I have plenty! Characters? I've got them coming out of my ears! I just don't have an inciting incident. Or a destination/conclusion to aim for.
Or a title.
So.
I'm thinking Jilly Cooper. Jackie Collins. A dash of Anita Shreve to make it appear literary and the cache of a Penny Vincenzi.
Can anyone think of a suggestive, fruity title that would make Borders-browsers think, "Ooh - I must read this book; it sounds entertaining!"?
Just think department store, lots of staff, plenty of opportunity for socialising outside of hours...hilarity, I think you'll agree, will prevail.
What? What? There's no point in being a writer if you can't use your God-given talent to be vindictive!
And yet...the only titles I can come up with so far have been a bit pants.
So I need help.
Don't say it.
No, really...I have a list of words and phrases that sound like titles, and nothing suits. So over to you!
...to bite back, by writing a sexually-deviant, explicit, bonkbusting tell-all expose of life as a sales adviser. Obviously not based on my own experience, of course, being a mild-mannered, moral, celibate, teetotal innocent. I mean, based on my observances while working in this place.
Two and a half weeks until my contract runs out and I don't have a plot. Well, I don't outline anyway so that's no matter. All I usually need is an inciting incident or situation, and some characters. Characters I have plenty! Characters? I've got them coming out of my ears! I just don't have an inciting incident. Or a destination/conclusion to aim for.
Or a title.
So.
I'm thinking Jilly Cooper. Jackie Collins. A dash of Anita Shreve to make it appear literary and the cache of a Penny Vincenzi.
Can anyone think of a suggestive, fruity title that would make Borders-browsers think, "Ooh - I must read this book; it sounds entertaining!"?
Just think department store, lots of staff, plenty of opportunity for socialising outside of hours...hilarity, I think you'll agree, will prevail.
What? What? There's no point in being a writer if you can't use your God-given talent to be vindictive!
And yet...the only titles I can come up with so far have been a bit pants.
So I need help.
Don't say it.
No, really...I have a list of words and phrases that sound like titles, and nothing suits. So over to you!