Title that made no sense.

[ZannaPerry]

Okay, a while ago I asked whether you thought my current title would catch your eye.

That whole, Kill for me, Cry for me.

Well, since my story has been progressing over the last few weeks, I was thinking that title does not fit the story at all. It's all about control, and controlling others.

So, I need to come up with creative ways with the word "Control" in it. This is what I've come up with so far:

Control
Control Me
Control Issues --ick!
I Control You

or...

Mine
Only Mine

I see those aren't the best, but could you all let me know what you think? I'm leaning towards "Only Mine" and "Control Me."

THANKS! :hooray:

[maxmordon]

What about "Only me, Control you"?

[Serena Casey]

The word "control" doesn't work for me. But then, I didn't see your previous thread. What about "Mine Alone"?

[ZannaPerry]

Control is a hard word to work with. Not many choices you can get with it.

[a_sharp]

Try playing around with "power" and see what happens.

Just make sure you're grounded.

[ZannaPerry]

and not go crazy? Gotcha! :)

[benbradley]

I'd say you need something that indirectly implies control, or the desire to control, without using the word.

Your avatar reminds me of that Police song "Every Breath You Take" (most think of it as a "love" song but the writer says it's about stalking) and the line in it that you might use for the title: "I'll be watching you."

[Enzo]

That song is setting me thinking here.

What about 'Every Move You Make'?
It's about control, and it sounds rather ominous. If that is the tone of your novel, it could work. Just don't use the word 'control' itself, only imply it.

[J. R. Tomlin]

I'd say you need something that indirectly implies control, or the desire to control, without using the word.

Your avatar reminds me of that Police song "Every Breath You Take" (most think of it as a "love" song but the writer says it's about stalking) and the line in it that you might use for the title: "I'll be watching you."I have always had a hard time seeing how anyone could consider that song a love song. It is SERIOUSLY creepy.

I think "Watching You" might be a good choice or something along that line.

[ZannaPerry]

Watching you, and every move you make are really good titles to consider. The story is about control, and I'm not really getting the meaning behind those titles that would go along with what I'm trying to write. Not necessarily looking or watching.

Power. Control. Triumph. Fail.

It's not a stalker kind of book, but I will think on "Watching You" because it does and doesn't feel right.

I think just one word could mean a lot. "Control" but that word is kind of blah to me.

[triceretops]

If sombody is doing the controlling, then somebody is being possessed. Is it possible that you have a female MC in a controling relationship?

Possessed/possession are good words to work with. Which might lead to:

Nine tenths of the Law

The Possession of (MC character) Actually kind of common.

The Possessor

Suffocation

This is kind of hard. Perhaps if we read your synopsis, we could get a feel of the tone and theme.

Tri

[Shadow_Ferret]

I'm wondering if "every move you make" might be considered a Police song lyric and thus a place you don't want to go.

How about:

Control for me, Death for you

?

Just came to me, but I have no idea if you're writing a thriller or not.

[benbradley]

How about combine it with another word, as in: Desire and Control

[Jo]

If your MC was named William, it could be Will Power.

[Wolvel]

How about DOMINANCE?

[Voyager]

Did you ever consider taking a snippet from a quote about control? Here, as an example, is a bit from a speech by Napolean about mind over matter.

"The strong man is the one who is able to intercept at will the communication between the senses and the mind."

Then call the book, Between the Senses and the Mind, or shorten even more down to, The Senses and the Mind.

Not that this fits your story, but try googling 'control quotes' and playing with them. Then you can insert the actual quote anywhere from the title page to within the body of the text.

ETA: Oh yeah, go for something in the public domain and save yourself a lot of grief.

just a suggestion.

[WittyandorIronic]

As someone mentioned, it is kind of difficult not knowing what genre your book, or having read a synopsis. But, I assume if one person is controlling, than they are controlling someone else. You could write the title with several different terms for surrender (submit, defer, prostrate) or the obedience that is required when one is controlling (obey, conform, execute).
Or if you really like the term control, Embrace My Control kinda sounds good.
Sorry if someone already mentioned that one.

[PeeDee]

Honestly, I wasn't crazy about any of the titles you suggested in the original post. I like Every Move You Make as a title, though.

Or something equally creepy/sinister.

You Only Have Eyes For Me. Or...um...

None Before Me. Or...Er....

It's early and I'm groggy. Those are my only suggestions. :)

[Stew21]

i really like voyager's suggestion of using part of a quote about control. I'd also suggest waiting until you get to the end of the book, maybe something one of your characters says will jump out at you and become the title.

[PeeDee]

i really like voyager's suggestion of using part of a quote about control. I'd also suggest waiting until you get to the end of the book, maybe something one of your characters says will jump out at you and become the title.

Yeah, I think waiting until the end of the book is a good idea too. Heck, I'm nearly at the end of my book now and it spent the first 100k being called "Rome Novel." A title didn't appear for it until just a week or so ago. Some books are like that.

[Wraith]

Yeah, I think waiting until the end of the book is a good idea too. Heck, I'm nearly at the end of my book now and it spent the first 100k being called "Rome Novel." A title didn't appear for it until just a week or so ago. Some books are like that.
Really? And here was I thinking that I was gonna read "The Rome Novel" by Pete Tzinski one day. *shakes head*

I'm not fond of the word control in the title either. It tells a bit too much, especially if that's the main theme in your book. I agree that going with something implied might be better. And maybe something more specific - all that we can suggest is general stuff. Every Move You Make is a good title, but it might fit to a lot of different books.

I like the pronouns in the title, though. You, I...even Her/His. But I can't think of any suggestion now (I have a hard time with titles myself).

[Prawn]

Mission Control
Out of Control
Impulse Control
Control Freak
Control and Conduct

Bladder Control?

[ZannaPerry]

Thanks for all the suggestions and help!

I believe I will go what Voyager and Stew1 says. I'll look up control quotes and/or wait until a character of mine says something that could be the title. I will look at similar words of control. I like Possession, and power.

BTW: My story is a romantic suspense. And the mother-in-law is the control freak possessing her son to kill for her. She has to be in control of everything. She thinks she's God, basically. If she can kill once and get away with it, then she'll keep doing it to get what she wants. Neither mother nor son are the main characters, but very big-deal supporting ones, and the mother is the villain.

[Jo]

Thanks for all the suggestions and help!

I believe I will go what Voyager and Stew1 says. I'll look up control quotes and/or wait until a character of mine says something that could be the title. I will look at similar words of control. I like Possession, and power.

BTW: My story is a romantic suspense. And the mother-in-law is the control freak possessing her son to kill for her. She has to be in control of everything. She thinks she's God, basically. If she can kill once and get away with it, then she'll keep doing it to get what she wants. Neither mother nor son are the main characters, but very big-deal supporting ones, and the mother is the villain.

The first thing to pop into my head? Mother-In-Law's Tongue (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sansevieria_trifasciata) (hard to kill, aka snake plant (http://www.flowers.org.uk/plants/plantfacts/motherinlawstongue.htm)). :tongue

Good luck with your title search.

[jannawrites]

What about Controlled? That sounds less blunt than just Control, and I like that it would lead the reader to the book, since they'd wonder what/who's being controlled. Might add to the mystery.

Or, since the mother uses the son for her dirty work, and he's got to be somewhat submissive... Tamed?

I just went with synonyms or related-to words for control. Don't know if they'll work with your overall theme.

She's In Control or Her Power

[PeeDee]

The reason I wasn't keen on the word 'control' in the title was that it just seemed cliche and boring to me. Like a Lifetime Network movie of some sort. That's why I tried to find alternate options for the same thing.

[mikeland]

Riffing off song titles, what about The One I Love (R.E.M). Fits well with the Police under the category of creepy-but-catchy not-really-love songs from the eighties. Dig a little deeper into the lyrics and you get "a simple prop to occupy my time." What about A Simple Prop?

Then again, my favorite so far has to be Bladder Control from prawn. Depending on the age of the mother-in-law and the family's medical history, it might just work!

[virtue_summer]

BTW: My story is a romantic suspense. And the mother-in-law is the control freak possessing her son to kill for her. She has to be in control of everything. She thinks she's God, basically. If she can kill once and get away with it, then she'll keep doing it to get what she wants. Neither mother nor son are the main characters, but very big-deal supporting ones, and the mother is the villain.

Mama's Boy

Family Dynamics

If you really want to use control in the title why not just something like "Taking Control" or "Losing Control" ? Losing it might be better if the story's from the point of view of the daughter in law, which is actually why the suggestions about using terms like surrender might work well if the daughter in law is the main character and she's being forced into that position.

Hey, why not just use the word Surrender? As a statement it implies a threat, someone trying to take control of another, to force them into submission. I also think it sounds like the title of a romantic suspense novel.

Well, I'm not great at titles but those are my suggestions.

[ZannaPerry]

I should add this also. The mother-in-law actually isn't a mother-in-law at all. I just call her the mother-in-law because let's face it...not everyone digs their inlaws. She and her son (also a killer) have something against the other and they become sort of a team. The son is under oath to protect the woman (MC) he loves from his mother. And it all spills out from there.

So, Mama's Boy wouldn't work because the son absolutely hates his mother but is also doing everything she tells him to do against his own wishes.

[jannawrites]

I was just stewin' on what you've said, SuzyB, and I think you could shorten your original title to just Kill For Me.

[Voyager]

This thread is the longest teaser in the history of evah. Now I want to see this story. Finish, finish, finish :D

I should add this also. The mother-in-law actually isn't a mother-in-law at all. I just call her the mother-in-law because let's face it...not everyone digs their inlaws. She and her son (also a killer) have something against the other and they become sort of a team. The son is under oath to protect the woman (MC) he loves from his mother. And it all spills out from there.

So, Mama's Boy wouldn't work because the son absolutely hates his mother but is also doing everything she tells him to do against his own wishes.

[WittyandorIronic]

Compelled Control
Unwilling Obedience
Parental Power

I adore alliteration :). Yeah, titles can be tough. Hope something pops up!

[jannawrites]

Unwilling Obedience


Or how 'bout just Obedience?

[PeeDee]

Go dig out all your CDs and read the lyrics and song titles. See if something pops out. It works for me when I get really stuck and need something quick... :)

[ZannaPerry]

I will go through my CDs and songs tonight. Again, thanks for all your help!

Voyager, I'm afraid this story won't be complete for some time, but it's coming along yet slowly.

[triceretops]

Wow, SuzyB. This sounds intriguingly like Son of a Grifter, a non-fiction account of a controling mother over her slave son, in where she convinces him to steal and kill. Very interesting premise.

Tri

[ishtar'sgate]

Power Struggle
Linnea

[ishtar'sgate]

Or, as my hubby watches hockey - Power Play:D
Linnea

[ZannaPerry]

new choices to consider:

Breathe Me
(Sweet or Gentle) Sacrifice
One by One
I Dare You...
Taking Over Me
Baby, you're mine
Watching You
Mad World
Surrender to Me

Yay or nay...lemme know!

[TrickyFiction]

Were I wandering through a bookstore and saw all those titles on a shelf together, I would pick up Breathe Me first.

[Voyager]

Breathe Me reminds me of that Breaking Benjamin song, Breathe Into Me. Pretty cool.

[gp101]

Titles are about the only place in a novel where I actually enjoy alliteration. With that in mind, what about:

The Kill Control

[Wraith]

I like Breathe Me. And Kill for Me sounds great too - I like it more than the original longer title.

Hope you figure it out. Sounds like a very interesting story.

[WittyandorIronic]

Titles are about the only place in a novel where I actually enjoy alliteration. With that in mind, what about:

The Kill Control

Or Controlled Kill. Seems simple at first, but could take the reader in many different directions.

[ZannaPerry]

Controlled Kill sounds interesting. When I read your post that title hit me at this god forsaken hour of the day. Has to mean it's powerful. :)

And Kill for Me is still my number one. Breathe Me is still in running.

This is helping! THANK YOU!

[Stew21]

The right one will emerge as you write the rest of the story, Suzy. Keep your favorites in mind while you finish the draft and one will come out the clear winner.

:)

[PeeDee]

"The Kill Control," sounds like a Robert Ludlum book... :)

Controlled Kill, or Breathe Me are the best, in my brain. And between 'em, I prefer Breathe Me.

If the stalker element were stronger than the controlling element -- or either way, really -- then I also think a good title would be Pictures of You. Because it sounds like a nicer title than the book would make it out to be, and after you finish reading the book, you'd go "cripes, pictures of you...creepy..."

Just a thought. :)

[ZannaPerry]

HEY! What do you all think of this title:

Empty Soul.

It could be millions of things that go with my story. The villains (and one turns good and crazy). My hero who is empty until he finds love in the MC, and my MC who lived each day alone and empty and only had love for her child.

Hmmmm...lemme know!