Show Dont tell...

Black pants was the only item in her closet that would go with her chartruse shirt decorated with red sequined cardinals. The shirt was a gift from her ex-boyfriend's mother.

Next tell: A man in love.

The very sight of her was enough to turn his heart to mush. The way her eyes sparkled when she laughed at one of his dumb jokes, the way her hair curled around her fingers when she was nervous, the way she had to hit "snooze" at least three times before getting up; how had he lived before he knew her?

Next tell: The train left.

The silver El sat chugging on the elevated track, doors open, the stench of diesel heavy in the gray air. The conductor popped his head out of the engine's window. He turned, looking up and down the long platform.

"Wait!" I yelled, racing up the stairway with a sense of doom as the doors banged shut and the train began to inch away.


The house was by a lake.

Rusted leaves floated on the surface, bobbing up and down like tiny sail boats on wind-blown waves. I watched them from the front porch, wondering how cold the water felt on her porcelain skin as she sank for the last time and whether the dying leaves remembered.


Next: Spring sprang.

Like an iguana, he lounged in the midday sun, allowing his body temperature to approach a livable level. Winter just couldn't do that.

Next: The coffee tasted terrible.

Bitter dregs were all that were left in the pot by the time he rousted himself from bed and dragged himself into the kitchen. She'd left without saying goodbye again. He added cream to his cup, hoping it would cut the taste, but after two agonizing mouthfuls he poured the cup out into the sink and headed for the shower.

Nextel:Gail was attractive.

When the tall redhead walked into the room, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. Apparently, I wasn't alone. Bill, who sat next to me down at the end, was damn near drooling and Vick, behind the bar, was in danger of wearing a hole in the glass he was drying. By the time she reached the middle of the bar, the song on the jukebox ended and the place was silent as a tomb. All eyes watched the redhead, even the women, and I could tell their appreciation wasn't just for her outfit.

She stopped by the bar-maid's station and put both hands on the bar. "Hi," she said. "I'm Gail."

"Gail." Vick wasn't one for many words but I knew he had been affected worse than any of the rest of us. He put down the glass, missed the bar and he didn't even flinch when it shattered on the floor. "Can I have you--ah, help you?"

Gail grinned, flashing a set of teeth that cosmetic dentists only dreamed about creating. "I'm looking for a guy named Herb. Seen him?"

Vick just stared. After a minute, Bill came to his rescue. "Nobody by that name been in here in a long time," he said, trying really hard to keep his eyes locked with hers--and failing. "We don't get much but regulars in here. Hardly ever, except--well, ah, no. No Herb."

Gail's eyes twinkled. "Except--?"

"Except what?" Bill had no idea what she meant. Vick came to.

"He means except you, Miss Gail. Sorry. Don't know anyone by the name of Herb."

Gail thanked him, flashed a smile at the rest of us, and went out. That was a month ago and none of us has seen her again. But we still talk about how her hips swayed when she walked, the sound of her laughter, the depth of her green eyes. And I swear, when we do, Bill still drools.

Next: It was raining and almost as dark as night when the troop of five girl scouts got out of the van to sell cookies to the retirement village.

"OK, girls, does everyone have a carton? Tie your hood, Jackie, it's still coming down." Barbara herded her daughter Jenny's Girl Scout troop out of her Town & Country and into the evening's nasty drizzle at Shelton Estates. Whose idea was this, anyway? These people were on fixed incomes, they had no money for cookies. But Jackie's mom's parents lived here, and she swore they'd buy a dozen boxes. So here they were, five undersized salespersons, ready to hock their wares to people who had picked this place to live on purpose to get away from kids. With a sigh, Barbara led the girls towards the first of the identical residences in the Estates, trying not to trip over a Jazzy in the dark, and trying not to think of the irony of selling cookies in cookie-cutter houses.

Next: I saw a small dog.

I was seated on my customary park bench enjoying the daily paper when something attached itself to my pants leg. I looked down and found myself confronting a horrible little mongrel, barely six inches from muddy paw to slavering jaw and growling hideously through a mouthful of fiine wool. Its matted fur might have been white once, and it had a patch of brown around one eye, giving it the look of a small and determined bandit. Fearing it had less than savoury intentions towards my leg, I rolled up the paper and swatted at the little demon, whereupon it sat down meekly and cocked its head.

lfraser? How about something "telly" for us to work on?

I'll give another: The bottle was empty.

Pthom said:

lfraser? How about something "telly" for us to work on?

Click to expand...

Oops! I forgot. I was already half asleep when I posted last night.


It was dark.

She came back to herself out of a red, sticky darkness. Her eyes didn't want to obey her; she felt pressure on them, like someone had closed them with pennies already. As she crept slowly to full awareness, she became acquainted with the pain that skyrocketed through every sinew in her body. She moaned, and a voice commanded silence, enforcing its law with a sharp blow. She found it easy to slip back into the safety of the darkness.

Next: The bottle was empty.

Draining her glass, she sighed. Which one of his lovers was he with right now? The German blonde who could have been his daughter, or the green-yed brunette who was just after his money? Or maybe that other one, who remained faceless. Holding back the tears that threatened to undermine the equanimity she was determined to cultivate, she reached for a refill but was brought up with a shock on realising that, yet again, she'd drunk an entire bottle over the evening.
Throwing the empty bottle in the pile on top of the others, she walked slowly to her bedroom, where she curled up in bed, alone, the tears her only companion.

...

The sun was shining.

Sun.

Nothing but unrelenting sun. It seared his eyes and his flesh until he wanted to claw himself to shreds. All around him was nothing, nothing but the sun reflecting off the endless universe of sand.

Next: My cat is pretty.

Accompanying herself with melodic purring, Kitty preens herself with meticulous care. She knows she is stunning, white fur contrasting with black spotches, giving the world the impression that she spent her time cavorting with careless but famous artists.


The food was good.

He inhaled deeply, savouring the scents that hung around him. "How could I have put myself through this torture".

He paid the blonde behind the counter and with a cheery "Thanks!" walked swiftly out into the frosty night air. He was eager but still he reverently peeled open the paper package.

"Next time", he said to anyone who would listen "Fish and chips are included in the diet."

Next: The clock struck one

Jake flinched at the sound of a gong, just once, then the chilly hall was again filled by the almost silence of the pendulum's hollow tock, tock, tock. He cursed the old grandfather clock. In the dark, if he hadn't heard the clock chime midnight, he could never tell what time it was. The gong sounded just once on the half-hour too. To know for sure, Jake would have to turn on the light and that might awaken Helen. But he had to know. He flicked the light on briefly. The minute hand was just about to cover the hour hand.

"Jake?" Helen's voice, sleepy. "Is that you?"

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Next:

It was so cold that the river froze.

His nose was frost-bitten, of that he was sure. The frigid wind howled, threatening to kill even more pieces of his body. If only he could find shelter.

There...across that clearing...a light. Maybe a cabin. Maybe a fire. But it had to be warmth! On painful feet, he left whatever shelter the trees had been giving. Fifty yards across the barren expanse, he clearly heard a crack. The ground beneath him shuddered.



Next: She said, "Hi, Bill"

There was a slight lift of one eyebrow, then her eyes moved languorously over Bill's body, his welcoming grin, well-defined pecks and six-pack abs, arms he could not help but flex. Then with slow deliberation, she continued on below the belt.

Bill stood before her feeling every bit as naked as the day he was born.

"Helllo, Bill," she said.


Next: The new day has begun.

The alarm clock buzzed. Robert opened his eyes, and turned away from the bright sunlight reflected from his bedroom window. He pushed his blanket off of him and sat up, slowly rubbing his eyes. He checked his clock, 7:14 am. After placing on his blue mouse slippers, he sauntered out the bedroom door, looking forward to yet another typical day at work.

I walked over to get a better look. Years ago, the stone carving had stood high on the cathedral, looking over the thriving town. The town was now a village and the cathedral now a ruin, drawing fewer tourists every year. Instead of the town it once protected, the stone angel's eye saw only weeds and moss.


Next: The mouse was unafraid.

Sweat poured off my nose in salty drops as the gray, hideous rodent bared it's needle-sharp teeth. I stamped my right foot on the floor hoping the thing would back down. The mouse answered with a loud hiss, arching it's back until it seemed the spine would snap into a thousand bony shards. I was cornered and trembling from the heat and the hellish creature's threatenings. With little sustenance to be had, the situation was coming down to one thing- it was going to be either him or me.

Next: Joe blew up a balloon

The boy's face reddened as he attempted to push his lungs to expel the last of his air. He held on tightly to the little rubber neck of the balloon, and watched his father over the red horizon that seemed to only be doing anything but growing.

"Attaboy," his father cheered him on. "You can do it. I got faith in you, boy." However, even for all of the faith, Joey did not seem to be doing so well.

"Joey, do you need some help with that?" His mother leaned forward to take the task over.

"No, Magg," Joey's father said. "It's his birthday! He wants to prove that he's a man, right, Joe? You're a big man now, right?"

Joey tried to nod, sucking air in through his nose, but less each time. In any case, it still seemed utterly useless. His mind was fuzzy, and his legs were wobbly.

"George, I think maybe we could just, even...stretch it out a bit for him. Ya know, loosen the rubber? Even a big man needs a little help some time."

"Maggie, listen to me," said George. "I know what I'm talking about." George turned to face his wife. He needed to have a talk with her, but it just wasn't right to do it here in front of the kid. The kid, however, was turned slightly away with his eyes barely open.

"Maggs, I remember when I was his age. I had the mouth of a shark, and the lungs of a bull. The first thing that I did on my tenth birthday was prove that I could blow balloons up just like a big man." He leaned in closer to his wife, almost lovingly. "Trust me, this is what's right."

They both turned around. Looked down. "Ooh, you know..." George said, eyeing his red-faced son as he rolled slightly on the ground. "Maybe we should get him some help."

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NEXT:

The glass was half full.

-giusti