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...feel free. I did.
I moved this from the Whatever thread.
Cats...I like cats ok. They can be amusing. We have one that is a long and lanky orange tabby teenager that POURS herself over ledges. She gets in these moods we call "love fests" and just can't get enough attention. We call her O, or Ohzy (Oh zee).
We have four cats. All rescuees. Max is quite a large male, very fuzzy and looks like a Himalayan. Min (Max and Min, get it?
) is a small, declawed female version of Max. She is a perpetual kitten that looks as sweet as a sugar pie. We affectionately refer to her as "the bitch". Growly, hissy all the while seeking attention. She is a cat in conflict.
The last is B (BEE zee, O for orange, B for black...I know, not very imaginative) She is about the same age as O but very different, tight small body that is always spring loaded and she is FAST as lightning.
Well, we have mini blinds all over the house that the two teens have destroyed by chewing doors at both ends exposing the threads that hold the horizontal vanes.
My wife and I were set for a quiet Saturday morning while the kid spent the weekend with friends. O slinks into the room and glides to the sill. She spends only a moment and turns to leave. In her extreme flexibility she managed to wrap herself around the threads.
She jumped.
A foot from the window, she was hauled back and dangled with her hind leg tied by the cord. She instantly spit-hiss-roared as if tangling with a pack of dogs. I leaped from my bed clad only in my briefs and attempted to rescue the feline in distress. She clawed and bit my hands while making a ruckus uncommon to her gentle demeanor. While I danced about her teeth, trying to protect myself as I relieved the tension of the rope, the other cats that had been lounging take up the red alert alarm.
Max growls like a lynx while B rockets from the room to the top of a distant wall-desk. Sweet looking, clawless Min charges my calf and proceeds to shred it with her teeth. My hand is bleeding. My leg is bleeding. There is a cacophony of wild animal cries. My wife grabs a towel and rushes to hold poor dangling O (who dawns an expression like "Oh! Thanks!" and relaxes unworried). I'm kicking at the monster that is still chewing on my leg while trying to untie the cat in the window.
Release.
Ohzy walks a few steps, licks her leg and casually goes to eat.
Min runs from room to room looking for something else to attack.
B came down from the hutch later that day but was on high alert for the next two days.
Max came out from behind the dryer yesterday but refused to leave the laundry room. He keeps looking at the window.
Min has apologized to me, rubbing, purring and gazing into my eyes (it's an act. I've seen it before). She seems to know that she is responsible for the bandages covering most of my right calf.
We have vertical blinds now. No need for chewing. The vanes brush aside easily when O, the only cat to sit in the window since, slithers through.
I think I'll survive. I'll keep the cats for now, because my wife would toss me out before the cats went (something that is becoming more appealing with every cat I trip over) but I swear there will be no replacements. If the average life of a cat is 15 years, I should be pet free by the time I'm 65. I shall start counting the minutes.
I moved this from the Whatever thread.
Cats...I like cats ok. They can be amusing. We have one that is a long and lanky orange tabby teenager that POURS herself over ledges. She gets in these moods we call "love fests" and just can't get enough attention. We call her O, or Ohzy (Oh zee).
We have four cats. All rescuees. Max is quite a large male, very fuzzy and looks like a Himalayan. Min (Max and Min, get it?
) is a small, declawed female version of Max. She is a perpetual kitten that looks as sweet as a sugar pie. We affectionately refer to her as "the bitch". Growly, hissy all the while seeking attention. She is a cat in conflict.The last is B (BEE zee, O for orange, B for black...I know, not very imaginative) She is about the same age as O but very different, tight small body that is always spring loaded and she is FAST as lightning.
Well, we have mini blinds all over the house that the two teens have destroyed by chewing doors at both ends exposing the threads that hold the horizontal vanes.
My wife and I were set for a quiet Saturday morning while the kid spent the weekend with friends. O slinks into the room and glides to the sill. She spends only a moment and turns to leave. In her extreme flexibility she managed to wrap herself around the threads.
She jumped.
A foot from the window, she was hauled back and dangled with her hind leg tied by the cord. She instantly spit-hiss-roared as if tangling with a pack of dogs. I leaped from my bed clad only in my briefs and attempted to rescue the feline in distress. She clawed and bit my hands while making a ruckus uncommon to her gentle demeanor. While I danced about her teeth, trying to protect myself as I relieved the tension of the rope, the other cats that had been lounging take up the red alert alarm.
Max growls like a lynx while B rockets from the room to the top of a distant wall-desk. Sweet looking, clawless Min charges my calf and proceeds to shred it with her teeth. My hand is bleeding. My leg is bleeding. There is a cacophony of wild animal cries. My wife grabs a towel and rushes to hold poor dangling O (who dawns an expression like "Oh! Thanks!" and relaxes unworried). I'm kicking at the monster that is still chewing on my leg while trying to untie the cat in the window.
Release.
Ohzy walks a few steps, licks her leg and casually goes to eat.
Min runs from room to room looking for something else to attack.
B came down from the hutch later that day but was on high alert for the next two days.
Max came out from behind the dryer yesterday but refused to leave the laundry room. He keeps looking at the window.
Min has apologized to me, rubbing, purring and gazing into my eyes (it's an act. I've seen it before). She seems to know that she is responsible for the bandages covering most of my right calf.
We have vertical blinds now. No need for chewing. The vanes brush aside easily when O, the only cat to sit in the window since, slithers through.
I think I'll survive. I'll keep the cats for now, because my wife would toss me out before the cats went (something that is becoming more appealing with every cat I trip over) but I swear there will be no replacements. If the average life of a cat is 15 years, I should be pet free by the time I'm 65. I shall start counting the minutes.
