PDA

View Full Version : Should others care to laugh at my pain...


Del
06-12-2007, 11:47 PM
...feel free. I did.

I moved this from the Whatever thread.


Cats...I like cats ok. They can be amusing. We have one that is a long and lanky orange tabby teenager that POURS herself over ledges. She gets in these moods we call "love fests" and just can't get enough attention. We call her O, or Ohzy (Oh zee).

We have four cats. All rescuees. Max is quite a large male, very fuzzy and looks like a Himalayan. Min (Max and Min, get it? :D) is a small, declawed female version of Max. She is a perpetual kitten that looks as sweet as a sugar pie. We affectionately refer to her as "the bitch". Growly, hissy all the while seeking attention. She is a cat in conflict.

The last is B (BEE zee, O for orange, B for black...I know, not very imaginative) She is about the same age as O but very different, tight small body that is always spring loaded and she is FAST as lightning.

Well, we have mini blinds all over the house that the two teens have destroyed by chewing doors at both ends exposing the threads that hold the horizontal vanes.

My wife and I were set for a quiet Saturday morning while the kid spent the weekend with friends. O slinks into the room and glides to the sill. She spends only a moment and turns to leave. In her extreme flexibility she managed to wrap herself around the threads.

She jumped.

A foot from the window, she was hauled back and dangled with her hind leg tied by the cord. She instantly spit-hiss-roared as if tangling with a pack of dogs. I leaped from my bed clad only in my briefs and attempted to rescue the feline in distress. She clawed and bit my hands while making a ruckus uncommon to her gentle demeanor. While I danced about her teeth, trying to protect myself as I relieved the tension of the rope, the other cats that had been lounging take up the red alert alarm.

Max growls like a lynx while B rockets from the room to the top of a distant wall-desk. Sweet looking, clawless Min charges my calf and proceeds to shred it with her teeth. My hand is bleeding. My leg is bleeding. There is a cacophony of wild animal cries. My wife grabs a towel and rushes to hold poor dangling O (who dawns an expression like "Oh! Thanks!" and relaxes unworried). I'm kicking at the monster that is still chewing on my leg while trying to untie the cat in the window.

Release.

Ohzy walks a few steps, licks her leg and casually goes to eat.

Min runs from room to room looking for something else to attack.

B came down from the hutch later that day but was on high alert for the next two days.

Max came out from behind the dryer yesterday but refused to leave the laundry room. He keeps looking at the window.

Min has apologized to me, rubbing, purring and gazing into my eyes (it's an act. I've seen it before). She seems to know that she is responsible for the bandages covering most of my right calf.

We have vertical blinds now. No need for chewing. The vanes brush aside easily when O, the only cat to sit in the window since, slithers through.

I think I'll survive. I'll keep the cats for now, because my wife would toss me out before the cats went (something that is becoming more appealing with every cat I trip over) but I swear there will be no replacements. If the average life of a cat is 15 years, I should be pet free by the time I'm 65. I shall start counting the minutes.

Jaycinth
06-12-2007, 11:53 PM
I had a cat that lived to 18. My friend has a cat that is 19. I met a cat that was 20 once..but the owner told us we had to tell the cat it was only 10.

What I'm saying is.....

My cat chewed apart a section of aluminum mini blinds because he was trapped in the house while he was waiting for his 'proceedure' to heal.

What is it with cats and mini-blinds?

Del
06-13-2007, 12:14 AM
Hmmm... Moving this post cost me the rep points that inspired me to move it in the first place. Sheeze...over half a century old and I still don't understand to leave well enough alone.

Oh well. There is still lots of time left in the day to screw something else up. But if I don't get started I'll miss opportunities.

Stew21
06-13-2007, 12:14 AM
haha!


^ that is me, laughing at your pain, del. :D

Stew21
06-13-2007, 12:16 AM
about the rep points, yes, deleting posts takes the rp's with it. (wonder if that works on negative reps too?) Shoot all this time tourdeforce could have gotten out of the negative if he would have just deleted the posts that earned the neg reps.

Del
06-13-2007, 12:22 AM
Naw, he only needs to move them! He can get all new neg reps that way.

janetbellinger
06-13-2007, 12:25 AM
My condolences. We have five cats, ages ten - fourteen and all going strong. I sometimes wonder what I was thinking of, getting so many cats considering I seem to be developing allergies but then I remember what Hemingway said: If you want to write, keep cats. Our three dogs disagree.

MidnightMuse
06-13-2007, 12:32 AM
:ROFL:

You'll get no sympathy from this puppy!

Bwhahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Del
06-13-2007, 06:27 AM
My condolences. We have five cats, ages ten - fourteen and all going strong. I sometimes wonder what I was thinking of, getting so many cats considering I seem to be developing allergies but then I remember what Hemingway said: If you want to write, keep cats. Our three dogs disagree.

When I was a kid we had 20 at one time. Fun for the kids but as an adult I think I'd have to cull the heard so to speak.

We didn't get our cats. They got us. I'm just a softy and can't stand to see anything suffer so we took them in. I had intended to give the kittens away (both found in our yard, one one day, the other the next) starving. My son got a Christmas present of them...i.e. to keep them IF (feed em clean em etc.) Well, it didn't work. Mom and Dad take care of them. But they are family members now. It might be easier to give away the kid. :D

Ol' Fashioned Girl
06-13-2007, 06:56 AM
I've always been a cat person. Took me 23 years to convince Ol' Boy that cats are easier to care for than dogs... I didn't tell him about the damage they do to the house, furniture and human body, though...

I'd appreciate it if you'd just keep this little confession between the 12000 of us, ok? :D

poetinahat
06-13-2007, 07:02 AM
Del, I weep for you -- and I heave a giant sigh of satisfaction for myself (see below).

I've always been a cat person. Took me 23 years to convince Ol' Boy that cats are easier to care for than dogs... I didn't tell him about the damage they do to the house, furniture and human body, though...

I'd appreciate it if you'd just keep this little confession between the 12000 of us, ok? :D

Are you sure you're my sis, Sis?

My count so far (lifetime):

West Highland White Terriers: 1
Newfoundlands: 1
English bulldogs: 1
Welsh corgis: 2
Turtles: 3
Snakes: um... 6?
Raccoons: 3
Rabbits: 1
Clams (yes, I caught it in the state park): 1
Fireflies: Umpteen
Cats: 0

My in-laws:
Cats: 2 (pronounced, "ah-choo")

MidnightMuse
06-13-2007, 07:15 AM
English bulldogs: 1


Yay! :D

Ol' Fashioned Girl
06-13-2007, 07:22 AM
Are you sure you're my sis, Sis?

My count so far (lifetime):

West Highland White Terriers: 1
Newfoundlands: 1
English bulldogs: 1
Welsh corgis: 2
Turtles: 3
Snakes: um... 6?
Raccoons: 3
Rabbits: 1
Clams (yes, I caught it in the state park): 1
Fireflies: Umpteen
Cats: 0

I'm sure. See my list:

Schnauzers: 3
Weiner dogs: 3
Heinz 57s: 2
Turtles: At LEAST 2
Fireflies: Umpteen
Hamsters: 1
Parakeets: 4
Fish: Boocoo* (sp?)
Cats: 7

*Untold numbers

You (like a typical brother) had snakes. I countered with cats. We're even. :tongue

Del
06-13-2007, 07:33 AM
I'll see your seven dogs and raise you 5 cats. Call or fold?

Ol' Fashioned Girl
06-13-2007, 07:35 AM
Eight dogs. But I'm lousy at poker! Or... or is this Pitch?

SpookyWriter
06-13-2007, 07:36 AM
My list:

crickets: 500 + and 1 who didn't survive my shoe while I was wearing it
grasshoppers: 45 confirmed kills
scorpions: 8 that I found while lifting rocks for a camp fire in Arizona
snakes: 7 (big) rattlers and 1 that tried to have oral sex with me
rats: 13 in London and 4 in Colorado
pigeons: 4 that still hang around and 1 I ran over by accident
snails: 1 that thought my big toe was a potential mate
cats: 11 stalking me outside and 1 that seems to follow me everywhere

Did I forget anyone? Mother nature likes me, I'm sure.

Del
06-13-2007, 07:57 PM
Spooky, you are just...spooky.

Christine N.
06-13-2007, 08:04 PM
I laugh at you, because I own a cat. I've always had a cat.

The cat I had a few years ago, poor thing had a tumor the size of a grapefruit on her kidney, she fell into the catagory of 'bitch'. She hated everyone but me.

When we got Othello, the giant dog (then he was a puppy) she used to beat him up. No claws, thank goodness. One day, Othello wanted to go out, so he started barking at me. This was his new, puppy way of telling me he had to go. So we run to the back door, since he was still being house broken.

Miss Kitty chases us across the house, and at the back door jumps and sinks her teeth into my calf. I looked like I was bit by a short vampire.

Been there dude.

Now, we have Cedric Diggory (yes, too much Harry Potter for my son) who is about seven months old, and a sleek gray bullet. He likes to hide in the bathtub, behind the curtain, and jump out at you as you pass by. Especially if you're sitting on the toilet. We call him the Bathtub Demon.

tjwriter
06-13-2007, 08:17 PM
When I was a kid we had 20 at one time. Fun for the kids but as an adult I think I'd have to cull the heard so to speak.


I currently have:

Cocker spaniel/chow chow mix: 1
Pit pull: 1
Heinz 57: 1
Cats: 20 more or less

The cats culminated from the husband's aunt leaving her female, intact cats whe she moved, and just throwing them outside to be had by the local Toms. Then the neighbors across the way moved, and those cats migrated to our place. Now that most of them are finally fixed, I just feed them as they show up. Sometimes they are roving, and some days they are home.

All the dogs are in the house, and all the cats are outside. It's a zoo, but I'd have more if the husband would let me.

Jaycinth
06-13-2007, 08:33 PM
We call him the Bathtub Demon.


I have to exorcise my demon a couple times a day. I just walk in, and without opening the curtain, I turn on the shower.

The demon flees!

Del
06-13-2007, 09:54 PM
Demon Fleas? Oh my. No wonder your cat hides in the shower.

AceTachyon
06-13-2007, 10:03 PM
what Hemingway said: If you want to write, keep cats.
True.

Our cats will sit on my desk, in front of the monitor, while I'm typing. They want to watch as I create.

If I type fast enough, they want to grab my fingers.

If I ignore them long enough, they will knock something over.

I have to alternate between a bursts of typing and scratching them behind the ears. That keeps them happy and away from my fingers.

Can't use the mouse. I move the mouse and it's "Ooo! New toy!"

Keyboard shortcuts are very useful.

Del
06-13-2007, 10:10 PM
Cats: 20 more or less

It's a zoo, but I'd have more if the husband would let me.

We can get you help. It isn't too late.


Something reminded me of our move from PA to VA. We had an old 1973 International pickup truck. I bought it for $300. It was cheaper than renting a UHaul. The back was loaded with everything we owned. The front was my (new)wife and I. A large tom cat, a birdcage with two doves and a parakeet, a HUGE lop eared bunny and a guinea pig.

With everything in the way, we got a flat tire on the PA turnpike. I had to unload the truck just so the jack could pick it up.

It was quite a trip.

As for me as a bachelor, I had a cat I named Mopar for a few years but that was the only pet I ever got for myself.

Del
06-13-2007, 10:14 PM
I move the mouse and it's "Ooo! New toy!"


This is a given for anyone that owns a cat and a computer. If you own a laptop you have to watch for claws on the LCD screen. I have sat my cats down SOooo many times and tried to explain it to them. They just don't get it.

Christine N.
06-14-2007, 01:13 AM
My demon likes water. Yes, he will jump out of the tub, but only as far as the edge of the tub. Then he sits there, damp, and plays with the spray.

I've also found him napping in both the kitchen and bathroom sinks. IN the bowl.

He used to chase my fingers when I was typing, but he's gotten to big to sit in that spot.

Soccer Mom
06-14-2007, 01:31 AM
My current count:

Dogs
Black Lab/Moose cross: 1
Yellow Lab mix: 1
UFO (Unidentified Furry Object-allegedly Australian Shepard: 1

Cats: 3: including one who can operate the copier and likes to scan her tail

Rabbit: 1

Fish: 3

Goats: 3

Horses: 2

writerterri
06-14-2007, 02:22 AM
I wish you could see my hubby with our cat. I don't know if I should laugh or have him locked up.


Don't worry we wives have a way of replacing cats as soon as one does kick the cat box.


Thanks for the laugh. Hope you heal without antibiotics.

TsukiRyoko
06-14-2007, 02:31 AM
I have a house bursting with animals, so I know how crazy they can get. I sympathize with ya.

*snicker*

Unique
06-14-2007, 04:15 PM
because my wife would toss me out before the cats

Remember this.