Hiatus

[Akai D'amour O'Keefe]

As you may have already noticed, I have not been on in awhile. I have a lot going on in my life right now, with the new job and still being a full time student(going for that networking degree). Full time job + full time school = very little free time. Couple that with the fact that I'm also working on my novel. But I do get my new notebook pc in about 3 weeks. I'll be on a bit more then, and I'll be on my personal website a lot too. Love You All. ((HUGS)).

[louiscypher]

Hmmmm... doesn't even rhyme this?

[LimeyDawg]

I agree LC. It reads as a little bit prosy. I see a weak metaphor with the writer and life as a roadblock to the love that, incidentally, will lead to a newer life. The meter wavers in places and I find little by way of alliteration.

LOL

Joking, Akai. We'll be here when you get back.

[davids]

I agree LC. It reads as a little bit prosy. I see a weak metaphor with the writer and life as a roadblock to the love that, incidentally, will lead to a newer life. The meter wavers in places and I find little by way of alliteration.

LOL

Joking, Akai. We'll be here when you get back.


It is quite obvious that neither you nor louis have even the faintest idea what should make a good work of poetry-when Akai returns I hope that he ignores your stumblingatory comments and listens to a real poet such as Mr. Jerome-or one of the other drunks-HIC!

[LimeyDawg]

OH YEAH, and jus whooo are yoooo callink sober, fish breff,:poke:

[louiscypher]

Hey hang on, me crabapple sweet cheeks!
Think about Switch..lol

J

PS: I always remove my stuff as not clutter forums not out voice others!
And besides, am shy in real life ... you'd be flat out getting a word out of me, actually ... even on a Rack!

[louiscypher]

Fish breff roflmao

[davids]

OH YEAH, and jus whooo are yoooo callink sober, fish breff,:poke:


Just wrote a marginally alkeehol constructed nasty pushy crit-Christ that felt good-HIC. Lobsters aint fish-goofus tremendous!!!!

[LimeyDawg]

As you may have already noticed,
I have not been on in awhile.
I have a lot going on in
my life right now, with the new job
still being a full time student
(after that networking degree).
Full time job + full time school = <---sub "plus" for "+" and "means" for "="
very little free time. Couple <---the enjambment here is weak
that with the fact that I'm also
working on my novel. But I
do get my new notebook pc
in about 3 weeks. I'll be on
a bit more then, and I'll be on<---don't like the repetition of "on"
my personal website a lot
too. Love You All. ((HUGS)).

See, tetrameter except for the last line. I'd suggest adding more hugs.

[davids]

Hey hang on, me crabapple sweet cheeks!
Think about Switch..lol

J

PS: I always remove my stuff as not clutter forums not out voice others!
And besides, am shy in real life ... you'd be flat out getting a word out of me, actually ... even on a Rack!


Whatever the hell you just said louis-BTHOOM and lemon drops and candle wax dripped on yer pecker!!!! I'd make ya cough up words like a mule with crawdaddys in its long yeller neck thing!!!!

[davids]

See, tetrameter except for the last line. I'd suggest adding more hugs.


Stop it Me. Dawg yer killin' me for Christ sake!!!! It is hard enough as it is at my age not to piss my pantaloonys and you aint helpin' none-now cut it the hell out-that by the way is one of your best crits I must say-at least one that is making me look for another drink!

[louiscypher]

LOL ... be the day U's get a short memory, CA

as for me pecker ...yes please!

*touches himself while arching back, licking lips and thinking ... fish breff*

[louiscypher]

HUGS?... Hum Bugs and crawdads- me tinks

[davids]

LOL ... be the day U's get a short memory, CA

as for me pecker ...yes please!

*touches himself while arching back, licking lips and thinking ... fish breff*

I think the thing I luv about you most Louis is that you are such a sick bastard!!!!

[louiscypher]

I get sic - err ...trust me rofl

[davids]

Like in sic em spot or just err? I have always trusted you dear heart!

[louiscypher]

Trust moi...strewth!

Of all the things I know of life, I know myself the least of all!

[davids]

Trust moi...strewth!

Of all the things I know of life, I know myself the least of all!


Ah-the joy of discovery continues-strewth-shit I have not heard that in a very long time-cor blimey

[louiscypher]

ditto

*smile*

but I'm not that old, nor old to this genre? Me muse simply take'th over and I simply surrender my mind to it's flying flux.

[davids]

Jesus I have not had a flying flux since that last time-I think she was a DC three and I had me paratrooper gear on-ah the lost times of youth!!!

[LimeyDawg]

Whoa, and here's me thinking flying flux was that itchy thing you caught off a toilet seat when joining the mile high club. You sillymus goosiflux

[louiscypher]

Nahhh, just built like a brick shithouse actually ... but not like Python's biggusdickus neither

[louiscypher]

nor heraclitus either *smile*

you'll get it

[poetinahat]

You buncha nuts.

All the best, Akai; be well, and we'll leave the light on, mate.