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View Full Version : It's a good thing my MIL is leaving tomorrow.


writerterri
05-03-2007, 02:29 AM
She is getting on my cotton pickin' nerves.

She's baking cookies for the kids and I told her not to wash the cookie sheets. She's washing the cookie sheets! Then when I busted her she asked me why I don't wash them. Duh! You ruin the surface of these type and everything sticks. Now she's complaining that the cookies are sticking! And she has a comment about everything I have done and said today.

Get OUT!

Haggis
05-03-2007, 02:36 AM
Want me to see if I can get Carmine from Jay's Comedy Cabaret to...uh...take care of her?

writerterri
05-03-2007, 02:38 AM
Want me to see if I can get Carmine from Jay's Comedy Cabaret to...uh...take care of her?


No, just meet me in the mayo isle at 3:30. That'll take care of me.

robeiae
05-03-2007, 02:40 AM
You don't wash your sheets? That's just gross. I don't care what kind of patterns they have.

writerterri
05-03-2007, 02:45 AM
You don't wash your sheets? That's just gross. I don't care what kind of patterns they have.


Butter patterns. Wanna a cookie? I have a nice cookie for you.

Writer2011
05-03-2007, 03:33 AM
Sheesh... sounds like she's rough.. You don't wash cookie sheets...duh :)

Sorry it's been, well, "interesting" to say the least...:)

clockwork
05-03-2007, 03:46 AM
Mother I'd Like to...

...come on, don't leave me in suspense here.



(Seriously, what's a MIL?)

ETA - Nevermind. I got it.

Rolling Thunder
05-03-2007, 03:51 AM
Ask her to help you make a pie. Include her as an ingredient. Problem solved.

SpookyWriter
05-03-2007, 05:47 AM
You don't wash your sheets? That's just gross. I don't care what kind of patterns they have.ewwww....sticky stuff on the patterns.

CatSlave
05-03-2007, 05:48 AM
Put the dirty dinner dishes on the floor, let the dog lick them clean, then pick them up and put them back in the cabinet. When she freaks out, pretend like you always clean dishes this way. Plus it saves on buying dog food.

She'll leave.

stormie
05-03-2007, 06:15 AM
Put the dirty dinner dishes on the floor, let the dog lick them clean, then pick them up and put them back in the cabinet. When she freaks out, pretend like you always clean dishes this way. Plus it saves on buying dog food.

She'll leave.
Oh, good one!

writerterri
05-03-2007, 06:59 AM
Sheesh... sounds like she's rough.. You don't wash cookie sheets...duh :)

Sorry it's been, well, "interesting" to say the least...:)


She scrubbed them three times.

writerterri
05-03-2007, 07:02 AM
Put the dirty dinner dishes on the floor, let the dog lick them clean, then pick them up and put them back in the cabinet. When she freaks out, pretend like you always clean dishes this way. Plus it saves on buying dog food.

She'll leave.


That would send her to an early grave. heh. *grin*

writerterri
05-03-2007, 07:05 AM
I got her back. I didn't feel good so I went to bed for a while and my hubby will cook if I don't feel well but she hates it when he does "my" job. He called me to dinner and she wouldn't even look at me. I asked her to pass things to me in a very sweet voice. :D Now Im going to eat one of her cookies and smack my lips and say mmmm really loud.

akiwiguy
05-03-2007, 07:30 AM
My mother in law is quite a sweety really. But I remember once she was staying and I'd just won a couple of bottles of a really nice Semillon Chardonnay. Anyway, the effect of this wine was for some reason to throw my wife and I into a frenzy of unusual passion, of the quite experimental type. It might have been that we'd had it pretty boring for some time up till then or something, I can't remember, but anyway.

But the next morning at breakfast my MIL says (she is really naive, I can't even start to understand how she conceived children) "What on earth was all that racket up there last night?"

Ewwww... it just made me feel really weird to picture her down there listening to us.. you know? Sheeesh, it just took me ages to get over it, kind of disturbing. I mean, what was she doing... was she perched on things trying to get her ear to the ceiling or what. Yyyyyick.

Sorry, meaningless MIL story most likely, but I'm probably trying to exorcise the demons or something. Shhheeesh, eww... God. Still feel strange.

thethinker42
05-03-2007, 07:37 AM
Mother I'd Like to...

...come on, don't leave me in suspense here.



(Seriously, what's a MIL?)

ETA - Nevermind. I got it.

The fact that you didn't IMMEDIATELY know what a MIL is, and why someone would be glad a MIL is leaving tomorrow, indicates you are sorely lacking. Is your life not complete without in-laws? What ever do you do without them? How can you ever identify your personal shortcomings without a MIL to itemize them for you?

*pathetic whimper* And can I come over and hide at your place next time my MIL/FIL/SIL are in town? Please? Please?

SpookyWriter
05-03-2007, 07:39 AM
The fact that you didn't IMMEDIATELY know what a MIL is, and why someone would be glad a MIL is leaving tomorrow, indicates you are sorely lacking. Is your life not complete without in-laws? What ever do you do without them? How can you ever identify your personal shortcomings without a MIL to itemize them for you?

*pathetic whimper* And can I come over and hide at your place next time my MIL/FIL/SIL are in town? Please? Please?
Upon divorce, rich MIL buys expensive Scottsdale lawyer and I spent the next eight years wearing a diaper while gladly paying my ex-wife $20,000 + a year.

Yep...

thethinker42
05-03-2007, 07:46 AM
Ewwww... it just made me feel really weird to picture her down there listening to us.. you know? Sheeesh, it just took me ages to get over it, kind of disturbing. I mean, what was she doing... was she perched on things trying to get her ear to the ceiling or what. Yyyyyick.

Where your MIL is totally naive, mine is the exact opposite, and is in fact almost as crude as I am. An actual conversation that took place during my husband's last deployment (when I was still on speaking terms with my MIL):

(I was staying the night, so my MIL was kicking my youngest BIL, then 16, out of his bedroom so I could sleep there. She was putting sheets on the bed, and he was gathering his video game stuff to go into the other room).

BIL: I sleep naked in that bed.
Me: I've had sex with your brother in that bed.
BIL: So have I.

Most MIL's would have been disgusted and offended, mine rolled her eyes and laughed her ass off. Never thought there existed a mother-in-law in front of whom you could have such a conversation WITH one of her sons and ABOUT one of her sons.

A few months later, I was going to go to Guam to visit my husband midway through his deployment. I was rather surprised that my boss gave me the time off.

My FIL said, and I quote: "He probably wants you to go get laid so you stop being such a bitch."

*sigh* Almost makes me miss having a good relationship with them like I did then. Ah well, they're evil. *shrug*

thethinker42
05-03-2007, 07:48 AM
Upon divorce, rich MIL buys expensive Scottsdale lawyer and I spent the next eight years wearing a diaper while gladly paying my ex-wife $20,000 + a year.

Yep...

Guess it's a good thing my in-laws are poor...(not that I have any intentions of divorcing my husband...but the only thing I can think of worse than evil in-laws is RICH evil in-laws...)

writerterri
05-03-2007, 08:05 AM
My mother in law is quite a sweety really. But I remember once she was staying and I'd just won a couple of bottles of a really nice Semillon Chardonnay. Anyway, the effect of this wine was for some reason to throw my wife and I into a frenzy of unusual passion, of the quite experimental type. It might have been that we'd had it pretty boring for some time up till then or something, I can't remember, but anyway.

But the next morning at breakfast my MIL says (she is really naive, I can't even start to understand how she conceived children) "What on earth was all that racket up there last night?"

Ewwww... it just made me feel really weird to picture her down there listening to us.. you know? Sheeesh, it just took me ages to get over it, kind of disturbing. I mean, what was she doing... was she perched on things trying to get her ear to the ceiling or what. Yyyyyick.

Sorry, meaningless MIL story most likely, but I'm probably trying to exorcise the demons or something. Shhheeesh, eww... God. Still feel strange.

~giggle~

My husband doesn't care who's in the house. I hate it when he makes it quite obvious...shuts door and locks it. I say, eww your mom's here. You know I can't be quiet. There's something about sneaking that makes it more exciting for him. I dunno. He's a freak.

SpookyWriter
05-03-2007, 08:06 AM
Guess it's a good thing my in-laws are poor...(not that I have any intentions of divorcing my husband...but the only thing I can think of worse than evil in-laws is RICH evil in-laws...)What really sucks is that when she dies, my ex-wife will inherit a shit load of money to use for new attorneys. :cry: I need to find a rich sugar-mommie.

thethinker42
05-03-2007, 08:19 AM
What really sucks is that when she dies, my ex-wife will inherit a shit load of money to use for new attorneys. :cry: I need to find a rich sugar-mommie.

That's LAME.

You need to hurt yourself in a fast food restaurant, sue them, and become independently wealthy off of your own stupidy.

SpookyWriter
05-03-2007, 08:22 AM
That's LAME.

You need to hurt yourself in a fast food restaurant, sue them, and become independently wealthy off of your own stupidy.Better yet, I can go into a fertility clinic and just yank my wanky off while trying to fill the cup.

The upside is I don't use it anyway and I'll be a millionaire because they weren't keeping a proper eye out for my safety.

:D

writerterri
05-03-2007, 08:46 AM
Yea, that pretty much killed my thread, dork. :tongue

SpookyWriter
05-03-2007, 08:47 AM
Yea, that pretty much killed my thread, dork. :tongueNot so, just send your MIL along to help me hold on to my cookies while I do (paid) business. :D

akiwiguy
05-03-2007, 09:07 AM
~giggle~

My husband doesn't care who's in the house. I hate it when he makes it quite obvious...shuts door and locks it. I say, eww your mom's here. You know I can't be quiet. There's something about sneaking that makes it more exciting for him. I dunno. He's a freak.

Well, yeah I understand the "excitement of possibly getting caught" kink, but not with my MIL around. A bi friend of my wife's sure. ;)

But my MIL... Picture lots of weird religion, a marriage to a vicar that I'm pretty sure consisted of one bonk, a strange obsession with disasters based on the eternal hope that any sniff of them heralds the return of the Lord... etc. She really does ask the most naive questions, and we'll look at each other thinking "OK, whose turn to answer this one?"

Oh, a funny one related to her kind of love of things going wrong in the world, impending apocalypse etc. We were driving along one day and somehow we got into the subject of meanings of names. She says, "David you'll like this, my name means Dismal". Jeeez, I was taking a sip of McDonalds coke and saw my wife grin at me, and I just couldn't contain myself. I ended up with coke running out my nose, coughing and spluttering. MIL laughed, she's a good old stick actually.

aadams73
05-03-2007, 02:28 PM
If my MIL came to stay I'd jump off the roof. My husband would be right next to me.

writerterri
05-03-2007, 09:46 PM
Not so, just send your MIL along to help me hold on to my cookies while I do (paid) business. :D


Eww!!! But sortoffunny.

Foinah
05-03-2007, 10:10 PM
My MIL and I get along just fine. I know I'm one of the lucky ones ;) She's come to stay for three months - sublet a house across town, to watch her granddaughter grow up. It's quite cool. I actually get time during the day to write.

Every once in a while she drives me nuts with her over zealous hygiene issues for my daughter - she insists on washing her hands every five minutes it seems - and she won't listen to me when I say I don't want my daughter to drink anything half an hour before bed because she'll just pee. I'll have to change the soaked diaper and it will take her about an hour to go back to sleep. It's frustrating.

Oh well. Could be worse.

Siddow
05-03-2007, 10:19 PM
Several years ago, I was dating a guy when his mother died suddenly. I married him. Problem solved.

But my FIL...not allowed in the house anymore after he snuck a loaded pistol into the house and stashed it in my 3-year-old daughter's closet. On the same shelf with her toys. I kinda wished I'd shot him, but I just threw him out on his rear.

thethinker42
05-03-2007, 10:39 PM
Several years ago, I was dating a guy when his mother died suddenly. I married him. Problem solved.

But my FIL...not allowed in the house anymore after he snuck a loaded pistol into the house and stashed it in my 3-year-old daughter's closet. On the same shelf with her toys. I kinda wished I'd shot him, but I just threw him out on his rear.

:Jaw:

You win.

tjwriter
05-03-2007, 11:44 PM
I second that, Lori.

My MIL drives me crazy. I'm going to shoot sugar up her ass if she doesn't quit giving my daughter sweets all the time. That'll be a good one. And the husband's had to put her in her place a few times.

writerterri
05-04-2007, 09:43 PM
My brother once got mad at me for letting my kids sleep in his room with my husband and I with a loaded gun in there. Once he got off his high horse I got mad at him for having a loaded gun in his house knowing my kids would be there.


But in a three year olds closet near toys!

WildScribe
05-04-2007, 09:52 PM
My MIL just tells me that I'm going to hell. She wants to save me. I can't handle her for more than a day or two, but she's not a bad person... just not very smart, and super religious.