The House that AW Built

Annie O · Apr 6, 2007

Okay, this game could be real fun, but everyone has to participate to make it happen.

You know how you have to read between the lines when it comes to real estate descriptions? Well this writing exercise is all about that. AW has a house to sell and we're going to do our darndest to sell it. The house is old with a lot of imperfections but we are going to spice the description up to make it sound beautiful. We won't lie but we'll use our power of words to make it sound like an abode fit for a queen.

I'll start by describing a part of the house honestly and the next participant will spice it up using 'real estate speak'. Then they will choose another part of the house to describe honestly which will lead onto the next participant....and so on. Hey, you may discover a hidden talent for realty writing and decide to pursue your life-long corporate writing dream.

Okay, ready?

The old, elm staircase has woodworm.

Steven Howard · Apr 6, 2007

Annie O said:
The old, elm staircase has woodworm.

Original hardwood fixtures with old-world charm.

Next:

The tiny kitchen was last redecorated in the early 1970s: brown and orange floor tiles and avocado green countertops.

Festus · Apr 6, 2007

The kitchen has charming period decor.

There are many things that need to be repaired.

janetbellinger · Apr 6, 2007

Fabulous retro art kitchen to die for.

Next:

Leaky basement

janetbellinger · Apr 6, 2007

not fast enough. Use Festus's post instead.

Festus · Apr 6, 2007

Naw, use Janet's. It is more specific and her kitchen description has more "oomp!"

Annie O · Apr 6, 2007

Festus said:
There are many things that need to be repaired.

Classic, antique fixtures and fittings. A wonderful restoration project.

Bats in the attic.

dancingandflying · Apr 6, 2007

be part of a spectacular ecosystem that brings nature to the home.

leaky roof.

Chumplet · Apr 6, 2007

A Handyman's dream.

One bedroom with half bath.

Annie O · Apr 6, 2007

An outstanding bijou property.

Is situated close to a major road.

Silver King · Apr 6, 2007

Annie O said:
Is situated close to a major road.

Centrally located, with easy access to shopping.

The landscape is a jungle where animals of unknown origin howl through the night, their yellow eyes visible through the dense undergrowth.

kdnxdr · Apr 6, 2007

Located a little outside the city with a rural feel. Commune with nature.

Small backyard.

arrowqueen · Apr 7, 2007

'Easy-to-maintain garden.'

Dry rot.

janetbellinger · Apr 7, 2007

'handyman's dream.'

dirty house

Silver King · Apr 7, 2007

A little elbow grease is all this gem needs to shine like a diamond.

Termite infested.

janetbellinger · Apr 7, 2007

'Ecologically soud. Surrounded by wildlife.'

Ancient, dangerous wiring.

Writer??? · Apr 7, 2007

Hope I'm not being inappropriate here. I thought you might like to see your ad all together.

HOUSE FOR SALE:
Original hardwood fixtures with old-world charm.
The kitchen has charming period decor. Fabulous retro art kitchen to die for.
Classic, antique fixtures and fittings. A wonderful restoration project.
be part of a spectacular ecosystem that brings nature to the home.
A Handyman's dream.
An outstanding bijou property.
Centrally located, with easy access to shopping.
Located a little outside the city with a rural feel. Commune with nature.
'Easy-to-maintain garden.'
'handyman's dream.'
A little elbow grease is all this gem needs to shine like a diamond.
'Ecologically soud. Surrounded by wildlife.'

(Ancient, dangerous wiring.)

You simply can't overextend this wiring/SAVE on high electric bills!

Melisande · Apr 7, 2007

Writer???
You didn't give a true statement

Annie O · Apr 8, 2007

Okay, as Writer??? didn't give us an honest description, I'll get the ball rolling again by adding one:

The house is built on an old burial ground.

Festus · Apr 8, 2007

Situated on an historical site.

Haunted.

Silver King · Apr 8, 2007

The home's rich heritage can be felt in every room.

Rats the size of Cocker Spaniels roam throughout the place.

eldragon · Apr 8, 2007

Room for all your furry friends.

The floors slope in all directions.

Pthom · Apr 8, 2007

Eclectic architectural style.

Neighbor to the north has a collection of derelict motor homes--Neighbor to the south keeps rotweillers, trains them as attack dogs.

Cath · Apr 8, 2007

Rustic outlook. Unique anti-burglar devices in locality.

Previous owner enjoyed throwing things. Heavy things. Sometimes right through doors and windows.

Silver King · Apr 8, 2007

During nice days, bright sunshine floods the rooms.

There's a lien on the property.

The House that AW Built

...fueled on Cadburys

No limits to imagination

No limits to imagination

...fueled on Cadburys

Is it tea time yet?

This hat is getting too hot

...fueled on Cadburys

Megalops Erectus

One of the most important people in the world

RIP, our sarky besom

Megalops Erectus

Because EYE said so!

...fueled on Cadburys

No limits to imagination

Megalops Erectus

in a van down by the river

Word butcher

The mean one

Megalops Erectus