View Full Version : The Old Neverending PublishAmerica Thread (Publish America)
NancyMehl
03-21-2005, 10:54 PM
ah, but then we'll know the answer to the ultimate question:
boxers or briefs?
:banana:
:ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL:
there are some things in this world that should always remain a mystery.... :Huh:
Nancy
Ed Williams
03-21-2005, 11:07 PM
....12,000 posts for this thread, which should be duly noted and solemnly appreciated.
For all you ladies speculating on whether it's boxers or briefs for Uncle Jim, let me add a third category that maybe y'all haven't thought about: neither. :Wha:
On a much more serious note, I just got an email from someone who is currently connected with PA who says there is a pretty serious rumor going around that Larry and Curlem may be considering putting PA up for sale before, in her words, "...it's too late to get anything substantial out of it." Got no more details than that, and my source must be kept secret, but that be the scoop....
Canada James
03-21-2005, 11:14 PM
Good gracious, I remember.
That kerfluffle was what inspired your "disclaimer", yes?
Ha, ha, yes it was. It was also what got me a "Raspberry Award" by some obscure Internet site for "most useless thread on the 'Net".
By the way, if anyone *wants* the spell checker (it tacks onto your web browser) PM me. (I can also link you to a better browser than Firefox/Explorer. Mine doesn't have any pop-us ... ever. Not even on the old board when y'all were complaining about them.)
C. James
For all you ladies speculating on whether it's boxers or briefs for Uncle Jim, let me add a third category that maybe y'all haven't thought about: neither.
Aye, laddies (and ladies), w' a name like "Macdonald," p'rhaps he'll attend the next PA convention wearin' a kilt to allow you to check?
Savannah Blue
03-21-2005, 11:21 PM
Sheryl is from PA! Go, Sheryl!!! Sheryl, email Jenna ASAP!
Susan G.
All riiiiiight! Go Sheryl, go Sheryl, go Sheryl! :hooray:
Sheryl Nantus
03-21-2005, 11:22 PM
For all you ladies speculating on whether it's boxers or briefs for Uncle Jim, let me add a third category that maybe y'all haven't thought about: neither. :Wha:
*swoons*
tease...
Eowen
03-21-2005, 11:23 PM
Aye, laddies (and ladies), w' a name like "Macdonald," p'rhaps he'll attend the next PA convention wearin' a kilt to allow you to check?
**Digs out the shoes with mirrors on the toes**
Good Morning All,
I just got a confirmation from the mail service that my letter was signed for at PA. Now what I would like to know and maybe you can answer this Jaws if they don’t respond after accepting the letter for termination and continue to ignore me are they breaking the contract in anyway? It is really going to PMO me if they can just get away with ignoring people but it will just give me more grounds to make a public nuisance of myself.
I'm sorry, I can't answer that. You're not my client; and this isn't the right forum, even if you were.
An attorney who offers no-kidding-specific-to-the-situation legal advice in a public forum is risking disbarment. Commentary adapted to a general set of facts is about as far as one can go in public. Legal advice is, in that sense, kind of like sex: You need to know your partner, and you need to do it in private.
And if the speculation on Yog's choice of undergarments hasn't turned your stomach, that image certainly should.
Sheryl Nantus
03-21-2005, 11:28 PM
All riiiiiight! Go Sheryl, go Sheryl, go Sheryl! :hooray:
:scared:
*hides under bed*
there has GOT to be someone here from Pennsylvania more versed than I am in such things as public relations...
*sound of crickets chirping*
anyone?
anyone?
Bueller?
:faint:
Kevin Yarbrough
03-21-2005, 11:38 PM
Imagine the reaction if your "bannable" post had included a glamour shot of James D. Macdonald in his skivvies.
*Anne ducks and runs *
Can we get "I'm with the banned" skivvies? I would like a pair of those. I would also want it to say "PA, kiss these" on the front.
Savannah Blue
03-21-2005, 11:44 PM
:scared:
*hides under bed*
there has GOT to be someone here from Pennsylvania more versed than I am in such things as public relations...
*sound of crickets chirping*
anyone?
anyone?
Bueller?
:faint:
You get out from under that bed this minute young lady and march yourself to that computer and write to Jenna. And don't you even think about doing anything else until that letter is done, you hear me? <Okay?>
Seriously, I do think you'd be a fine spokesperson for all of us, Sheryl. (Don't make me turn this into a love fest now, lol.) I trust you to tell the absolute truth about Pimp America and what they have done to all of us.
KellyS.
03-21-2005, 11:51 PM
Anyone recall what happened when I suggested a spell checker on the PA boards?
Good times .... good times.
C. James
I think I remember you now. Did you start a post about it that turned into a huge argument? I'm racking my brain as to who was your main opponent. Did Kevin jump in on it?
KellyS.
DaveKuzminski
03-21-2005, 11:52 PM
The important thing to remember is that PA can do nothing to you for telling the truth. They can dispute it, but the truth will not change.
So, stand your ground. Face them and tell PA and the world just what PA is.
Kevin Yarbrough
03-21-2005, 11:57 PM
I think I remember you now. Did you start a post about it that turned into a huge argument? I'm racking my brain as to who was your main opponent. Did Kevin jump in on it?
KellyS.
Yeah I did jump in on it Kelly. *Shakes head in shame* I know, now, where James was coming from. We've all learned some things since then.
I'm sorry, I can't answer that. You're not my client; and this isn't the right forum, even if you were.
An attorney who offers no-kidding-specific-to-the-situation legal advice in a public forum is risking disbarment. Commentary adapted to a general set of facts is about as far as one can go in public. Legal advice is, in that sense, kind of like sex: You need to know your partner, and you need to do it in private.
And if the speculation on Yog's choice of undergarments hasn't turned your stomach, that image certainly should.
Thank you Jaws for getting back to me and I appreciate the honesty, especially about the sex :Thumbs: Okay, you all have a great day...it's nap time :sleepy:
Sher2
03-21-2005, 11:59 PM
Thank you Jaws for getting back to me and I appreciate the honesty, especially about the sex :Thumbs: Okay, you all have a great day...it's nap time :sleepy:
Dang, Mem, does everybody have sex on the brain today? I know it's the second day of spring. Did somebody do some kind of fertility rites?
JennaGlatzer
03-22-2005, 12:01 AM
Phooey. I trust Sheryl to be a faboo spokesperson, too, but I just heard from the reporter and she's not in the right area.
"We cover the entire Delaware Valley which includes not only the Philadelphia, PA area, but also South Jersey and the Wilmington, Delaware region."
PLEASE write to me if you're in any of those areas! My e-mail is jg @ jennaglatzer.com (remove spaces).
Kevin Yarbrough
03-22-2005, 12:03 AM
Legal advice is, in that sense, kind of like sex: You need to know your partner, and you need to do it in private.
What fun is that Jaws? I have sex in public all the time. It's more thrilling. Every time I go to a bookstore and try and get them to stock my book I have sex, cause I know I will get it in the patootie because of PA's policies.
PA- master literary sodomists
Jenna, Dianna is in Jersey. She's my Jersey girl and I'm her Ben (insert Afflac goose here).
Through The Looking Glass
03-22-2005, 12:04 AM
(Woah! Please don't ever do that again. This has nothing to do with PublishAmerica.)
KellyS.
03-22-2005, 12:04 AM
Yeah I did jump in on it Kelly. *Shakes head in shame* I know, now, where James was coming from. We've all learned some things since then.
I didn't mean anything by it. I was just trying to figure out if I had the right one. I think I posted in it as well. I was just coming to erase that out of my post as I didn't want you to take it wrong. I got distracted. Sorry about that.
Kelly
NancyMehl
03-22-2005, 12:04 AM
Aye, laddies (and ladies), w' a name like "Macdonald," p'rhaps he'll attend the next PA convention wearin' a kilt to allow you to check?
Who said lawyers had no sense of humor????? :eek:
Nancy
Kevin Yarbrough
03-22-2005, 12:08 AM
No need to Kelly. I should have appologized to James about that long ago. No worries.
Galoot
03-22-2005, 12:10 AM
Imagine the reaction if your "bannable" post had included a glamour shot of James D. Macdonald in his skivvies.
http://i154.exs.cx/img154/492/moddown6ex.gif
CaoPaux
03-22-2005, 12:11 AM
Er, Through The Looking Glass, I hope you are not implying we should call the school board. That is NOT professional behavior, by any stretch of the imagination. :Lecture:
Kevin Yarbrough
03-22-2005, 12:14 AM
Not sure why this was posted here...but I hope no one thinks we're supposed to do anything about it.
This reminds me of the attack on C.E. Winterland from the Mindsight board. Posting someone's work info is way out of line.
I would like to see this removed.
Nancy
Me too. I know Paula and even though she is a, somewhat, supporter of PA she is still a nice person. Posting someones work info is not a good thing to do.
KellyS.
03-22-2005, 12:16 AM
Thanks for pulling that.
NancyMehl
03-22-2005, 12:17 AM
Thank you, Jenna. I was trying to delete my post at the same time you were deleting it. I shouldn't have quoted the original post. I didn't think about it at the time.
Posting someone's personal info is highly inappropriate. I'm glad it was removed.
Nancy
CaoPaux
03-22-2005, 12:19 AM
Thanks for pulling that.Jenna: Fastest arbiter of taste on the Cooler. :guns:
Ed Williams
03-22-2005, 12:23 AM
...and move on. This thread is used to detail information about PublishAmerica, the most bottom feeding publisher in the entire world. And sure, in the process of producing that information we have fun at times, horse around, and there's nothing wrong with that. A little levity can actually help sell the point sometimes better than recitations of facts can - it takes both to effectively get the word out. On the other hand, there's lots wrong about detailing out someone's work information here. Paula did nothing to warrant that - think what you will about the pic she's posting on the PA boards, it still doesn't warrant us displaying her work information. That's plain wrong, and does nothing to help the cause we're championing...
Sheryl Nantus
03-22-2005, 12:23 AM
Phooey. I trust Sheryl to be a faboo spokesperson, too, but I just heard from the reporter and she's not in the right area.
"We cover the entire Delaware Valley which includes not only the Philadelphia, PA area, but also South Jersey and the Wilmington, Delaware region."
PLEASE write to me if you're in any of those areas! My e-mail is jg @ jennaglatzer.com (remove spaces).
dang... and I'm just south of Pittsburgh.
can't really do THAT commute, ya know?
come on, folks... there's got to be someone else in that area...
:hi:
JennaGlatzer
03-22-2005, 12:24 AM
No prob. That was way over the line.
And now I'm closing this thread for 10 minutes so people will read my post before it gets lost in the hyper-speed posting!
I am looking for PA authors, ex-PA authors, and author advocates who are willing to be interviewed to speak out against PA on-camera for TV stations.
Currently, I am looking for people in the following areas:
- Delaware Valley, which includes the Philadelphia, PA area, South Jersey and the Wilmington, Delaware region.
- All of Washington state
PLEASE write to me if you're in any of those areas! Pass this message to others you think might be interested. My e-mail is jg @ jennaglatzer.com (remove spaces).
ALSO...
No matter where you live (as long as it's in the US), if you are a PA or ex-PA author willing to speak out about your experiences, please e-mail me. All I need from you is your e-mail address and where you live. Include your phone number or website address if you like, but it's not necessary.
I'm going to make a list so I can refer to it every time a media outlet contacts me. This way, I'll know exactly where I have "spokespeople" and where I don't.
JennaGlatzer
03-22-2005, 12:56 AM
OK, ya buffoons, I opened it back up. ;) But that doesn't mean it's time to stop contacting me! I've heard from very few people. Please don't be shy. Don't think that you're not a "good enough" example... if you're unhappy with PA, you're a good enough example! All I'm looking for is people who can speak about their own experiences and talk about what PA does that's harmful, or different from what you expected (like-- they don't get books into bookstores, they overprice the books, they don't edit, etc.).
Write to me, tell me where you're from, and become a hero. :)
Kevin Yarbrough
03-22-2005, 01:06 AM
[QUOTE=Ed WilliamsOn a much more serious note, I just got an email from someone who is currently connected with PA who says there is a pretty serious rumor going around that Larry and Curlem may be considering putting PA up for sale before, in her words, "...it's too late to get anything substantial out of it."[/QUOTE]
Maybe they will sell PA to Travis Tea. I saw him again today. He was getting gas in front of me and Elvis was the gas jockey. When I got out and walked over to them I heard something about writing a biography. I think Travis is going to write Elvis's biography.
On a serious note. I think we should all get together and buy PA if they sell it. Just think how rich we could become.:ROFL: Show them how a real publisher should do things.
CaoPaux
03-22-2005, 01:08 AM
*pant, pant* We can post again? Whew, that was close. I was starting to get withdrawal symptoms: sweaty palms and thoughts of Jaws wearing Jim's undies. Yeesh! *shudder*
victoriastrauss
03-22-2005, 01:15 AM
I know of authors (published by major NYC prseses) who often give away copies of their own books to fans. Most of them see it as a form of marketing. For example, they'll run a contest, announcing it on various and sundry lists, give away free copies of their books (and sometimes other things as well, such as gift baskets) to the winners, announce the winners on-line, and then maybe even ask the fans who entered if they want to get their newsletter.I run a regular contest on my website with book giveaways. For The Burning Land I'm still working off the publisher's freebies, but once those run out I'll buy a case at my author discount (50%, I think). It's a form of self-promotion, and also lets me get/keep in touch with readers. I also like to have copies on hand to give away to family and friends and nice people I meet who express an interest.
Another difference between commercially published authors who occasionally buy their own books and PA authors: The commercially published authors don't re-sell the books. In fact, they're forbidden to do so by their contracts. Commercial publishers usually have clauses in their contracts specifically prohibiting authors from re-selling books.
- Victoria
Kevin Yarbrough
03-22-2005, 01:15 AM
*pant, pant* We can post again? Whew, that was close. I was starting to get withdrawal symptoms: sweaty palms and thoughts of Jaws wearing Jim's undies. Yeesh! *shudder*
I know Cao. I let Jenna know this as well.
Jenna, if I didn't like you so much I would send the cops to your house. Cruel and unusual punishment is illegal you know. I think I will print off this page and circle the spot where you said you were shutting us down for ten minutes. I will then circle the post where you opened it back up. That was longer than ten minutes. I will keep it just in case I need to send it to the police. Maybe they can come by in the middle of the night with the evidence in hand like they did with me, tell you to "get things right" with me in a week or they will arrest you for deceptive practice.
I'm watching you girlie.:Wha: :wag:
Savannah Blue
03-22-2005, 01:18 AM
dang... and I'm just south of Pittsburgh.
can't really do THAT commute, ya know?
come on, folks... there's got to be someone else in that area...
:hi:
So, I guess asking you to move would be taking it too far, huh? :gone:
Moondancer
03-22-2005, 01:18 AM
On a serious note. I think we should all get together and buy PA if they sell it. Just think how rich we could become.:ROFL: Show them how a real publisher should do things.
They'll overprice it by at least 5,000,000... they seem to like overpricing things by 5s, you know.
Galoot
03-22-2005, 01:18 AM
I run a regular contest on my website with book giveaways.I entered last week. You know you don't have to choose the winner at random, right?
Christine N.
03-22-2005, 01:21 AM
:scared:
*hides under bed*
there has GOT to be someone here from Pennsylvania more versed than I am in such things as public relations...
*sound of crickets chirping*
anyone?
anyone?
Bueller?
:faint:
Hey, Diana, where are you?? You'd be great for this. Me, I live in this market, but a) I'm not a PA author, and b) I'm still not all that mobile.
The whole Uncle Jim underwear thing - reminds me of a Barq's commercial. The guy who says he's clairvoyant?
Boxers? Briefs? Commando?
Kevin Yarbrough
03-22-2005, 01:21 AM
They'll overprice it by at least 5,000,000... they seem to like overpricing things by 5s, you know.
That's all right. We can just charge an extra $50 bucks on each book.
Moondancer
03-22-2005, 01:23 AM
That's all right. We can just charge an extra $50 bucks on each book.
True... *puts on a thoughtful look while crunching numbers in her head*
KellyS.
03-22-2005, 01:31 AM
If we buy it, I will not be the new Moe-randa! lol
JennaGlatzer
03-22-2005, 01:31 AM
I think I will print off this page and circle the spot where you said you were shutting us down for ten minutes. I will then circle the post where you opened it back up.
:D Sorry. The power got to my head. I kind of enjoyed thinking about all the people trembling and sweating, waiting for me to reopen the thread.
I'm still amazed that so few people have written to me. Why, people, why? Is it a fear of PA? A fear of going on camera? Still thinking you're not a good enough example? 'Splain this to me so I can tell you how silly you are and that you should write to me immediately.
Canada James
03-22-2005, 01:32 AM
I think I remember you now. Did you start a post about it that turned into a huge argument? I'm racking my brain as to who was your main opponent. Did Kevin jump in on it?
KellyS.
Hopefully Jenna won't shut things down before I repost this.
Yes, that was me. My main opponents were Amo, Kevin and HB. Funny thing was, none of us were on the same side on that two-sided argument. It was really quite funny.
And Kevin, no need to apologize. I think you and I have paid penance for our past mistakes.
C. James
bluwinteryfox
03-22-2005, 01:48 AM
I'm still amazed that so few people have written to me. Why, people, why? Is it a fear of PA? A fear of going on camera? Still thinking you're not a good enough example? 'Splain this to me so I can tell you how silly you are and that you should write to me immediately.
To show everyone I'm not afraid, I sent Jenna an email. I'm afraid to speak out in front of 10 or more people :faint:, I'm willing to talk to a reporter about my experience. So come on, send her an email and tell her you'll help out.
Let's send Jenna so many emails that her server shuts down due to too many emails.
:D Sorry. The power got to my head. I kind of enjoyed thinking about all the people trembling and sweating, waiting for me to reopen the thread.
I'm still amazed that so few people have written to me. Why, people, why? Is it a fear of PA? A fear of going on camera? Still thinking you're not a good enough example? 'Splain this to me so I can tell you how silly you are and that you should write to me immediately.Jenna, I think it's just finding someone who lives in the area. If you would do it in Texas I think you would have plenty of willing people...location, location, location... :Sun: :wag:
James D. Macdonald
03-22-2005, 01:59 AM
It's still early, Jenna. Give the folks who log on after supper a chance to reply.
(Guys -- if you've never dealt with the media -- they're really good at making talking with them a painless experience. They put you at ease. The consumer advocates are friendly, compassionate, charismatic, and professional.)
Sher2
03-22-2005, 02:04 AM
If we buy it, I will not be the new Moe-randa! lol
Who will be the new Moe-randa? And for that matter, the new Larry and, God forbid, Curlem? Should we hold elections, with promises to the winners that we'll change their names and won't do evil things to them? ;)
JennaGlatzer
03-22-2005, 02:07 AM
Ah! But Mem, there was this part of my post:
No matter where you live (as long as it's in the US), if you are a PA or ex-PA author willing to speak out about your experiences, please e-mail me. All I need from you is your e-mail address and where you live. Include your phone number or website address if you like, but it's not necessary.
I'm going to make a list so I can refer to it every time a media outlet contacts me. This way, I'll know exactly where I have "spokespeople" and where I don't.
--
When I did this with my NBC affiliate, it was quick, painless, and even fun. Low-key. Just the reporter and a cameraman, and they came to my house.
I plan to continue contacting media sources, and it'll help me if I know I have a few good "spokespeople" in an area to recommend to the reporters. Otherwise I run into situations like the one we're in right now: two reporters ready to do the story, but they can't do it unless we find them some local people to interview.
Remember that it's not live TV, so you don't have to worry about saying anything "stupid." It all gets edited (unlike PA books. Ba dum bum, ching!).
Who will be the new Moe-randa? And for that matter, the new Larry and, God forbid, Curlem? Should we hold elections, with promises to the winners that we'll change their names and won't do evil things to them? ;) :hooray: Pick Me! :hooray: Pick Me! :Hail: Please Pick Me! Hey Sheri girl you came in just in time to say goodbye...okay :hi: :gone:
Oh, I'm sorry I missed that one Jenna. I am having a hard time keeping up with this post:( You shall have my letter tomorrow.
Sher2
03-22-2005, 02:16 AM
:hooray: Pick Me! :hooray: Pick Me! :Hail: Please Pick Me! Hey Sheri girl you came in just in time to say goodbye...okay :hi: :gone:
Goodbye? What, are you going somewhere or are you kicking me out? Listen, I think that if we're going to do things right, we have to do them right. That means there has to be a primary first. Get your name on the ballot and then we'll talk. Hint: I can be bribed. :ROFL:
Goodbye? What, are you going somewhere or are you kicking me out? Listen, I think that if we're going to do things right, we have to do them right. That means there has to be a primary first. Get your name on the ballot and then we'll talk. Hint: I can be bribed. :ROFL: I'll give you my one and only green square! How did you get two little missy? Did you bribe Jenna? Now I really have to go....and I am not putting my name on any list!:crazy:
akaa1a
03-22-2005, 02:24 AM
Quote From Ed Williams post:
"there is a pretty serious rumor going around that Larry and Curlem may be considering putting PA up for sale before, in her words, "...it's too late to get anything substantial out of it." Got no more details than that, and my source must be kept secret, but that be the scoop....
Here's a riddle for you all...
So, how many publishing house owners does it take to book one-way passage to the Caymans?
3...
One to make the reservations
One to pack the "spline" and music for "prancing"
And one to open the off-shore bank accounts with undisclosed royalties.
I crack myself up!
Ed Williams
03-22-2005, 02:25 AM
...y'all have it all wrong on the selection of the new Moe-randa, Larry, and Curlem. We'll simply go by who has the least experience running a publishing company, it worked for them, it can work for us. With that in mind, Kev and I are naturals for two of the slots, and for the one remaining, Sherry, we can talk bribes with you whenever you like. After all, with ethics like that you'll fit right in there with "The Kevster" (this is an officially trademarked name, contact me for rights leasing privileges) and I....
http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/natur/nature-smiley-015.gif
...y'all have it all wrong on the selection of the new Moe-randa, Larry, and Curlem. We'll simply go by who has the least experience running a publishing company, it worked for them, it can work for us. With that in mind, Kev and I are naturals for two of the slots, and for the one remaining, Sherry, we can talk bribes with you whenever you like. After all, with ethics like that you'll fit right in there with "The Kevster" (this is an officially trademarked name, contact me for rights leasing privileges) and I....
http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/natur/nature-smiley-015.gifButt Kissers...I'm really outa here!
Kevin Yarbrough
03-22-2005, 02:44 AM
...y'all have it all wrong on the selection of the new Moe-randa, Larry, and Curlem. We'll simply go by who has the least experience running a publishing company, it worked for them, it can work for us. With that in mind, Kev and I are naturals for two of the slots, and for the one remaining, Sherry, we can talk bribes with you whenever you like. After all, with ethics like that you'll fit right in there with "The Kevster" (this is an officially trademarked name, contact me for rights leasing privileges) and I....
http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/natur/nature-smiley-015.gif
All right Ed, if you are goingto make me I will be Miranda....but I WILL NOT WEAR ANY DRESSES, GARTER HOSES, HIGH HEELS, OR THONGS. Sherry, guess that makes you Meiners. You will have to shave your head of course.
As for the trademark Ed, you can use it as long as I get my eight percent. I would like the money bianually in the months of Feb and August. Plus, I don't want to hear no dang 30-90 day grace payment period either.
Don't worry Mem. You can be one of the 30 or so editors runing around the townhouse.
Canada James, you are right. We have paid our dues. Just felt I needed to say that though.
AnneMarble
03-22-2005, 02:45 AM
Who will be the new Moe-randa?
Maybe the winner of the first annual Absolute Write Idol Competition? Or maybe that would be the prize for the person who comes in last place. ;)
To truly connect this with PA, Jamie Farr can give away the prize.
Kevin Yarbrough
03-22-2005, 02:54 AM
:D Sorry. The power got to my head. I kind of enjoyed thinking about all the people trembling and sweating, waiting for me to reopen the thread.
I'm still amazed that so few people have written to me. Why, people, why? Is it a fear of PA? A fear of going on camera? Still thinking you're not a good enough example? 'Splain this to me so I can tell you how silly you are and that you should write to me immediately.
Like Jenna said, "Why, people, why? Is it a fear of PA?"
Don't fear PA people. They went after me, and it was bogus. Just as bogus as they are. They can't do anything to you. If it's PA you are worried about, don't.
Jenna, on the other hand. I think people are scared of going on tv. It probably wouldn't be easy for the ones that have never done it before to just sit there and talk to a reporter knowing that they will be on tv. I know my biggest fear would be saying or doing something that makes me look stupid and all those people seeing it. I mean, come on, how would you feel if you are sittng there and all of a sudden you break wind? Not a small, left cheek sneak that just smells, but a loud, goose honking fart that resonates (love that word) throughout the room?
writerjenn
03-22-2005, 02:56 AM
Okay, I realize that this is the definition of a spline, but it sounds just plain ol' smutty in a horizontal bop sorta way. OTOH, it may just be my sick mind. I think Publish Anything actually produces splines, not spines because they managed to get the shafting part down to a science.
I love it when you talk dirty.
:roll:
Sher2
03-22-2005, 02:57 AM
I'll give you my one and only green square! How did you get two little missy? Did you bribe Jenna? Now I really have to go....and I am not putting my name on any list!:crazy:
Mem, you have to be patient. These things take time -- one box at a time. And I'm not telling you whether I bribed Jenna. I'm about to become a politician, after all. I'm entitled to my secrets. Oh, FYI, I'm not mean, either, and I will expect your apology immediately for taking that surly tone with me. I'd do it fast, too, if I were you. I'm about to shave my head. I will own you and your pretty little dog, too, soon. :roll:
You know what, I think I need some of that special tea you have in your bag of tricks.
Kevin Yarbrough
03-22-2005, 03:01 AM
Better yet Mem, since you got the tone down to a science you can be the AST. Any takers on the Infocenter?
Sher2
03-22-2005, 03:04 AM
...y'all have it all wrong on the selection of the new Moe-randa, Larry, and Curlem. We'll simply go by who has the least experience running a publishing company, it worked for them, it can work for us. With that in mind, Kev and I are naturals for two of the slots, and for the one remaining, Sherry, we can talk bribes with you whenever you like. After all, with ethics like that you'll fit right in there with "The Kevster" (this is an officially trademarked name, contact me for rights leasing privileges) and I....
http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/natur/nature-smiley-015.gif
By jove, I think we've got a plan. Just what kind of bribe did you have in mind? Because I have to tell you, if The Kevster wants me to shave my head, it's going to take some extra perks. I don't really think I need to go to that extreme -- as far as I know, The Moe-randa has hair. Then again, if I shave my head, I could quite possibly enjoy an extreme power trip and practice some psychology. Lord, Lord, my head is already swelling up. Maybe I'd better just be the girl.;)
Sher2
03-22-2005, 03:06 AM
Better yet Mem, since you got the tone down to a science you can be the AST. Any takers on the Infocenter?
I vote for Mem to be the new LogoHead! She might delete posts and talk nasty to us, but she'll force us to enjoy it. :partyguy:
DeadlyAccurate
03-22-2005, 03:10 AM
Message:
Today, I got my $1.00
I showed my daughter, who giggled a bit. Until I explained that the $1.00 is symbolic.
It is the symbol for future book sales...it is the symbol of my personal ability to turn a dream into a reality.
It is also a symbol of my publisher's confidence that my book will sell.
I am looking forward to the rest of this process, and I am working on book #2.
Reading this made me sadder than the rejection letter I got today did.
Sher2
03-22-2005, 03:11 AM
I think people are scared of going on tv. It probably wouldn't be easy for the ones that have never done it before to just sit there and talk to a reporter knowing that they will be on tv. I know my biggest fear would be saying or doing something that makes me look stupid and all those people seeing it. I mean, come on, how would you feel if you are sittng there and all of a sudden you break wind? Not a small, left cheek sneak that just smells, but a loud, goose honking fart that resonates (love that word) throughout the room?
Kevin, just tell me when your gig is and I'll go on and pretend to be you. I've been on TV before, didn't barf, break wind, black out or anything. After it's over, the reporter will send you a nice little note telling you what a well-mannered person you are. They might not even remember that "you" were wearing a dress and had an unusually high voice. :tongue
Sher2
03-22-2005, 03:14 AM
Maybe the winner of the first annual Absolute Write Idol Competition? Or maybe that would be the prize for the person who comes in last place. ;)
To truly connect this with PA, Jamie Farr can give away the prize.
Anne, do you think he'd do it for a dollar? If we can even scrape up one -- I think most of us have already blown them.
Diana Hignutt
03-22-2005, 03:21 AM
Jenna,
You have mail!
diana
Mem, you have to be patient. These things take time -- one box at a time. And I'm not telling you whether I bribed Jenna. I'm about to become a politician, after all. I'm entitled to my secrets. Oh, FYI, I'm not mean, either, and I will expect your apology immediately for taking that surly tone with me. I'd do it fast, too, if I were you. I'm about to shave my head. I will own you and your pretty little dog, too, soon. :roll:
You know what, I think I need some of that special tea you have in your bag of tricks. Kevin and Miss Sheri, I decided I am nominating myself for Moe-Randa.:idea: I think that I spell worse then you, my grammar stinks and I am more then willing to share my royalties with the others. I’m not sure that you would. I am also willing to put the authors dollar in a savings account for them with no interest. I think that I am more suitable for the job, clothes wise. (Then Kev)Kevin, I know that I gave you a rep point saying okay, but I take it back. :wag: That makes me even more qualified for the job because I can lie too….Speaking of rep points I am probably the only person on this board with a negative. That makes me a strong candidate. (I shouldn’t have gotten it though because the person brought me a box of Kleenex to my pity party and I already had my own!):cry: I’m also TONE deaf and I never apologize! Sheri, I have some Tea:Coffee: that will make your hair grow back when you shave it and we already have the picture of you below so your ready to go. So if your gonna go....git! Now, I have to go find the brownies and take a nap. Really!:sleepy:
CaoPaux
03-22-2005, 03:28 AM
Reading this made me sadder than the rejection letter I got today did.Aye. That dollar is a symbol of precisely the opposite of what s/he thinks it is. :(
I vote for Mem to be the new LogoHead! She might delete posts and talk nasty to us, but she'll force us to enjoy it. :partyguy:I insist on a paper hat then! Make it out of dollar bills please!:roll:
Sher2
03-22-2005, 03:38 AM
Kevin and Miss Sheri, I decided I am nominating myself for Moe-Randa.:idea:
Well, if you're going to take THAT tone...
I think that I spell worse then you
How do you know? I can spell bad when I have to. And no, I'm not telling you just when that would be.
I am more then willing to share my royalties with the others. I’m not sure that you would. I am also willing to put the authors dollar in a savings account for them with no interest.
So you say now, but you'll be a politician by the time they come in again. You'll have to hand over some little token of good faith, Miss. And I want to be copied on the savings account statements.I think that I am more suitable for the job, clothes wise.
Why? What does a Moe-randa wear? I have some cute things. Oh -- are you saying Moe-randas don't do cute? Hmmm.Sheri, I have some Tea:Coffee: that will make your hair grow back when you shave it and we already have the picture of you below so your ready to go. So if your gonna go....git!
You're doing that tone thing again. Tone-deaf ain't no excuse. Just give me the tea. I know you have some of that herbal stuff that has all kinds of weird effects. That's the one I want. Oh, and I don't know who you're trying to fool -- that's YOUR picture.
Now, I have to go find the brownies and take a nap. Really!:sleepy:
The hell, you say! You get back here. If I can stay awake past dark, so can you.
robeiae
03-22-2005, 03:43 AM
What I don't get is this: reviewing the PA boards, it seems clear that some of these folks have got a clue... right now, there is a thread about a "marketing opportunity" that some authors believe to be a scam
http://www.publishamerica.com/cgi-bin/pamessageboard/data/lounge/8377.htm
They have even identified (rightly) some red flags indicating this fact. Yet they don't see the red flags all around them! Is it wholly a matter of pride? It's like saying "all polliticians are crooks, except for the ones I voted for." Are these people as unreachable as PA authors? Then again... considering some of the boneheads that have been elected into Congress, I may have answered my own question.
If the majority of PA authors are unreachable :Headbang: , perhaps even Jennna's efforts will be in vain. Nothing will bring them down, short of a court order.
Rob
DaveKuzminski
03-22-2005, 03:46 AM
Sorry, but you're all over-qualified to become the new Larry, Curlem, or even Moe-randa. Secondly, none of you are evil enough, although I am. However, I'm over-qualified, too. Consequently, that means the only individuals who could possibly replace Larry, Curlem, and Moe-randa are (drum rollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll). H.B. Marcus, F.E. Mazur, and Joyce Rapier! ;)
JennaGlatzer
03-22-2005, 04:00 AM
Hey Rob!
Well, the media stuff isn't meant to target current PA authors. It's meant to serve as a warning to new authors who may be considering going with PA. If it helps some current PA authors wake up, that's great, but I know that many of them will just look for ways to discredit it.
Sher2
03-22-2005, 04:02 AM
Sorry, but you're all over-qualified to become the new Larry, Curlem, or even Moe-randa. Secondly, none of you are evil enough, although I am. However, I'm over-qualified, too. Consequently, that means the only individuals who could possibly replace Larry, Curlem, and Moe-randa are (drum rollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll). H.B. Marcus, F.E. Mazur, and Joyce Rapier! ;)
But Dave, the whole idea is to CLEAN IT UP. I don't know about you, but I'm willing to take evil lessons from Moe-randa before they haul her off to Camp Cupcake. Which I'd have to learn if I'm going to work with -- gulp -- the above-named. The whole rationale for CLEANING IT UP is, of course, so nobody has to. Give the new regime a chance. Shoot, it's just PA -- nobody has to be qualified. :banana:
pepperlandgirl
03-22-2005, 04:11 AM
Reading this made me sadder than the rejection letter I got today did.
Me too :( Poor woman.
victoriastrauss
03-22-2005, 04:16 AM
Posting this again at Ann's request:
-----------------------------------------------
Several months ago I started a project with PA authors who were currently on the Absolute Write boards. It involved doing nothing illegal, immoral or fattening. (Ask Victoria Strauss, my partner in running Writer Beware.)
I asked PA authors who are unhappy to write to me. I organized the project, and there are some signs that it has a beneficial effect in getting the news out about PublishAmerica.
I'm now going to start phase two of the The Project.
So...if you are a brand-new PA author who has just joined the AW this year, or if you are one of the "old faithful" who doesn't mind wading back in for Round Two, OR if you are a writers' advocate who doesn't like seeing his or her fellow writers scammed and jerked around, please write to me.
I will be collecting email addresses for about two weeks, then you will be hearing from me, approximately April 1st. I'll write you a detailed letter describing just what to do.
It's your choice then whether you want to be part of the The Project, Phase Two.
My email address is: anncrispin@aol.com (anncrispin@aol.com)
Also, please cc Writer Beware, because aol can be wonky! beware@sfwa.org (beware@sfwa.org)
I learned a lot from Phase One. I have a few new wrinkles for Phase Two.
If you want to be part of this, write to me. Feel free to copy and past this post in other writer forums.
Thank you for your attention.
-Ann C. Crispin
Chair, SFWA Committee on Writing Scams
Writer Beware
Author: Storms of Destiny/HarperEos
www.accrispin.com (http://www.accrispin.com/)
Dolan
03-22-2005, 04:22 AM
Anyone notice that little tattoo on Miss ?s left thigh? PA RULES That is an example of the new advertising campaign. They paid a dollar for that.
But on the other hand, if the negative was reversed, the tattoo is actually on her right thigh and was printed backward. So it really can not be read.
Gives me a great idea for marketing my book. I will tattoo the cover of my book on my face. Bookstore mangers will jump at the chance to stock it. They will even pay me to hang around the store showing off my face. Folks, now this will work!
JennaGlatzer
03-22-2005, 04:29 AM
Thank you, thank you!
Brave people coming out of the woodwork now.
Keep it coming.
The more people I have who are willing to speak, the more I can do to make sure that stories warning people about PA appear on "every TV set across America, from sea to shining sea."
KellyS.
03-22-2005, 04:29 AM
Who will be the new Moe-randa? And for that matter, the new Larry and, God forbid, Curlem? Should we hold elections, with promises to the winners that we'll change their names and won't do evil things to them? ;)
Since I don't want to be Moe-moe, who can I be?
Ooooh, we need armed guards too.
Moondancer
03-22-2005, 04:31 AM
Er, Through The Looking Glass, I hope you are not implying we should call the school board. That is NOT professional behavior, by any stretch of the imagination. :Lecture:
Not only unprofessional it could land the person in jail. There's no saying that's really the person in that photo. She may have posted it to impress someone or for a dare or any number of reasons but it may not even be her in the pic.
I've seen worse. I guess being an internet fossil has some perks.
DaveKuzminski
03-22-2005, 04:32 AM
Anyone notice that little tattoo on Miss P's left thigh? PA RULES That is an example of the new advertising campaign. They paid a dollar for that.
Like I stated before only to be deleted, if anyone finds that photo in bad taste, complain to her, not to her employer.
For her sake, I hope it's temporary. It could be very expensive getting it off later if it isn't. :(
KellyS.
03-22-2005, 04:33 AM
Better yet Mem, since you got the tone down to a science you can be the AST. Any takers on the Infocenter?
I think you mean InfoHelmet, don't you?
KellyS.
03-22-2005, 04:35 AM
By jove, I think we've got a plan. Just what kind of bribe did you have in mind? Because I have to tell you, if The Kevster wants me to shave my head, it's going to take some extra perks. I don't really think I need to go to that extreme -- as far as I know, The Moe-randa has hair. Then again, if I shave my head, I could quite possibly enjoy an extreme power trip and practice some psychology. Lord, Lord, my head is already swelling up. Maybe I'd better just be the girl.;)
Susan Powder of PA? Wait, I think she had some hair. Sinead of PA?
Moondancer
03-22-2005, 04:39 AM
Better yet Mem, since you got the tone down to a science you can be the AST. Any takers on the Infocenter?
I can't do the Infocenter... the logic that is used boggles me to the point I would never be able to emulate it.
Literary Lola
03-22-2005, 04:45 AM
Message:
Today, I got my $1.00
I showed my daughter, who giggled a bit. Until I explained that the $1.00 is symbolic.
It is the symbol for future book sales...it is the symbol of my personal ability to turn a dream into a reality.
It is also a symbol of my publisher's confidence that my book will sell.
I am looking forward to the rest of this process, and I am working on book #2.
Screw symbolism, give me the friggin' bucks. If a buck is a symbol of her publisher's confidence her book will sell, she must be planning on selling half a book. Pass the PA bong, please...
Sher2
03-22-2005, 04:53 AM
Screw symbolism, give me the friggin' bucks. If a buck is a symbol of her publisher's confidence her book will sell, she must be planning on selling half a book. Pass the PA bong, please...
Yeah, the whole happy-happy idea of doing a Snoopy dance over that silly dollar is getting old. The only thing it's symbolic of is a good old-fashioned screwing.
Lola, we lost the bong the other night. Remember? ;)
Sheryl Nantus
03-22-2005, 04:56 AM
Thank you, thank you!
Brave people coming out of the woodwork now.
Keep it coming.
The more people I have who are willing to speak, the more I can do to make sure that stories warning people about PA appear on "every TV set across America, from sea to shining sea."
just poking this to keep it fresh.
come on, folks... if *I* can get up the courage to go on TV, you can.
Pennsylvanians, unite! You have nothing to lose but your... er... dollar?
:ROFL:
and I promise personal security if you need it... and pay my travelling expenses... and at least one brekka at IHOP or Eat'n'Park...
DaveKuzminski
03-22-2005, 05:05 AM
I'm three green reps from having a double green box. I'm just sweating bullets here.
Can't work, can't sleep, can't eat. Well, actually, I can sleep and eat.
Now, now, Dolan. Let's not get too excited. Remember, there are all these Moe-randa wannabes out here just itching to prove they can be evil. Next thing you know, you'll be at a minus 3. Bwahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa! ;)
Larry creep. Larry creep.
James D. Macdonald
03-22-2005, 05:16 AM
First, I want to be InfoCenter. You want to know what I'm wearing? InfoCenter can tell you.
If I can't be InfoCenter, can I head the Author Insult Team?
(Personal for Ed and Kevin: How come all the chicks are wondering about my skivvies, but they're sending y'all the photos of themselves in their skivvies? It ain't fair!)
Next -- you know what? If one buck symbolizes your publisher's confidence that your book will sell, they don't have a whole lot of confidence.
Ed Williams
03-22-2005, 05:19 AM
....over on the PA boards, just like a stack of wax sandwiches over there. Think about it, there are no:
1. Multi-author signings scheduled. I guess the Holiday Inn extravaganza got nuked, sure no mention of it at all these days.
2. More titillating pics, the one in question earlier today has been removed.
3. Declarations that PA is the greatest thing since sliced bread, even better than all the free ICEEs a person could drink.
4. More major postings from any of the most ardent PA backers.
5. Conventions or conferences scheduled, remember the infamous one from last year? Or their attempt to fleece their followers at Key West?
6. Mentions of the Independence Books imprint.
7. More counters to just about anything we say or do here.
Pretty interesting, doncha think?
Can I be Corporal Klinger?
Canada James
03-22-2005, 05:21 AM
Well, the media stuff isn't meant to target current PA authors. It's meant to serve as a warning to new authors who may be considering going with PA. If it helps some current PA authors wake up, that's great, but I know that many of them will just look for ways to discredit it.
Jenna, if I can come around anyone can. The problem with those in PA is that for them to "wake up" is for them to have their dream crushed.
It's not easy starting again.
(Or accepting that you don't know even a smidgen of what you thought you did.)
C. James
Ed Williams
03-22-2005, 05:24 AM
...the man! No one makes me laugh out loud anymore than you do, I can just look at that avatar and know that something of quality is about to leap out before me eyes....
:roll: :ROFL: :snoopy:
P.S. Uncle Jim, just be glad there's all that curiousity, last time so many people wondered about what kind of underwear a guy was wearin' he got elected President!
DaveKuzminski
03-22-2005, 05:27 AM
Jenna, if I can come around anyone can. The problem with those in PA is that for them to "wake up" is for them to have their dream crushed.
It's not easy starting again.
(Or accepting that you don't know even a smidgen of what you thought you did.)
C. James
You're quite correct. However, the good news is that there are several fine places such as AW where they can recover, learn, and start over with correct information and folks who are truly supportive. So, it's better that the dreams get broken now while there's still time to heal.
Sher2
03-22-2005, 05:29 AM
Pretty interesting, doncha think?
It's probably the calm before the storm, the time just before critical mass when everything goes pale gray and all the air is sucked out of the atmosphere. Or maybe they're just bored.
What I don't get is this: reviewing the PA boards, it seems clear that some of these folks have got a clue... right now, there is a thread about a "marketing opportunity" that some authors believe to be a scam... They have even identified (rightly) some red flags indicating this fact. Yet they don't see the red flags all around them!
Possibly some PA authors have learned that obvious complaints about PA will be removed and the writers banned. They're speaking subtly to stay under the radar and hoping some listeners will get the message.
Uncle Jim, just be glad there's all that curiousity, last time so many people wondered about what kind of underwear a guy was wearin' he got elected President!
Not so fast, there. Remember what happened after that: the nation's attention turned to his intern's underwear.
As a parody (not by me) goes, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."
JennaGlatzer
03-22-2005, 06:20 AM
I would like to be the new PA accountant, Janet Morrisey.
My qualifications: I know absolutely nothing about accounting. Or math.
Sher2
03-22-2005, 06:25 AM
I would like to be the new PA accountant, Janet Morrisey.
My qualifications: I know absolutely nothing about accounting. Or math.
Impeccable qualifications! You're hired. You do realize that you also have to be the office manager? :banana:
Sassenach
03-22-2005, 06:27 AM
Just call me 'Vice President, Resonance'
Uncarved
03-22-2005, 06:28 AM
I'd like to be the executive translator.... on the platform that I am fluent in no other languages and barely fluent in my native tongue.
Speaking of tongue, Ed where's the piccy of you in Your skivvies:)?
akaa1a
03-22-2005, 06:33 AM
May I be the Hospitality Director? I promise that peanut butter and brocolli sandwiches with a side of emaciated prime rib will be served at every convention with lukewam coffee and melted ice cream!
Should be a hoot...and a challenge that I am up for!
Please..please...please!
Ed Williams
03-22-2005, 06:48 AM
I would like to be the new PA accountant, Janet Morrisey.
My qualifications: I know absolutely nothing about accounting. Or math.That's the very thing that would disqualify you, you're admitting you have no knowledge of the field. From what I've seen over at PA, you literally have to be oozing ignorance of knowledge, you have to flaunt it and resonate it all over the company. You have to take a certain tone with everyone that reports to you directly, or who writes for you, whether they write drama, romantic fiction, or whatever their literary escapade is. It's the only way to be successful running a traditional publishing house, and dear, sweet Jenna, you are just too knowledgeable of your lack of knowledge for this particular position.
And for those of you wanting shots of me in swimsuits, underwear, or even in the buff, it's too late. There was such a demand for the specifics on Uncle Jim's underwear usage habits earlier today that it's obvious that I am but a mere second choice, an underling to the true sex symbol of this thread. I'm going to defer any future potential posing in briefs or worse to Uncle Jim, the true Fabio, now and in the future, for this thread...
JennaGlatzer
03-22-2005, 07:09 AM
Too late, Ed! Sherry already hired me!
But if I really must know all about a position, I'll be Leah Baird, assistant acquistions editor, because I know ALL ABOUT acquiring stuff and assisting. I've been acquiring pewter fairies for a very long time, which can't be very different from acquiring books, and I have assisted old ladies who were crossing streets. I'm very assistful.
Dawno
03-22-2005, 07:15 AM
If by chance you're looking for a Human Resources person I have extensive background in HR, including every Catbert cartoon Scott Adams ever drew in a nice scrapbook organized by appropriate HR topic.
NancyMehl
03-22-2005, 07:23 AM
First of all, I covet the real power job at PA. I want to control the delete button on the forum!!!! If someone complains about Jim's underwear...POOF! They're gone! One word about Jenna's lack of accounting qualifications....WHOOSH! They disappear! And any negative comments about Ed in general (I mean, there are so many things to choose from) and BOFFO! They're deleted!
Wow. I feel drunk with power! :banana:
As far as the TV thing....I am a little burned out by the whole idea. First of all, I'm in Kansas. We barely have TV here. (Grin) Recently, I was contacted by the producer of the Aaron Brown Show on CNN. They wanted to interview me about the BTK serial killer. Since I lived in Wichita in the 70's when he terrorized the city - and I am an author - they thought I would be someone good to interview. Frank Buckley called me and asked if he could come over to my house on a Sunday night. I sat and waited for several hours. Finally, he called and said that it was just getting too late. He asked if he could come the next afternoon. I said okay. The next day I waited and waited. One of the guys who worked with him called late in the afternoon to tell me the show had "gone another way" and wanted to know if I knew anyone who had purchased a security system in the 70's because of BTK. (Like I was supposed to do their investigative work!) Long before he called, I'd had enough. So, I'm not real big on being interviewed by TV people at this point.
I used to do on air book reviews for the local NBC affiliate in Wichita - and to be honest, I like doing reviews for the newspaper a lot more. TV is not my favorite medium.
That being said, if I, as a "former" PA author can ever do anything to help, Jenna, I'll do whatever I can, but I have to admit that I'm not overly excited about doing anything on air. :(
Nancy
Galoot
03-22-2005, 08:07 AM
I wan't to be one of teh PA editers okay? Im really good, at speling, adn grammer, and stuuf.
lindylou45
03-22-2005, 08:14 AM
[QUOTE=robeiae?
Seriously though, I become depressed now whenever I visit the PA boards.
The question is: when will we see it actually be criminal?:confused:
Rob[/QUOTE]
I don't ever go to the PA boards anymore. I haven't for a long time. I know if anything interesting is said I'll hear about either here or from some of my friends. Why put yourself through it if it depresses you? Just leave it alone for a while.
You don't think it's criminal now? Withholding royalties, selling books after they have released the author, harassment? To some it is actually criminal, it seems, however, that those in power (MDAG, MD Gov, etc.) just don't care.
lindylou45
03-22-2005, 08:18 AM
....the New Three Stooges, Moe-randa, Larry, and Curlem, want their authors to feel good about themselves while they themselves want their wallets to feel good. That's the definition of true happiness in the Merry Olde Land of Poz...
P.S. I have contributed a ditty on the Take It Outside Board, may Don McLean take pity on my wretched soul...
Sorry Ed, I guess I'm just cynical today. :faint:
I know! I've said it once, but I'll say it again -- You, sir, are the GOD of POD! :Hail:
lindylou45
03-22-2005, 08:44 AM
[QUOTE=JDElder] But I guess I'm having a hard time finding the "f-word" in this- fraud.
How about false advertising? Misleading information/implied promises on their website? Or maybe deceptive practices? When I signed with PA their website looked A LOT different than it does now. They promised on their website line-by-line editing. Now Larry Clopper says they only copy edit. Their website said that my book would be "stocked" in brick and mortar bookstores. Now their website says they will be "available" and suddenly there is a cautionary note -- stating that because the book is "available" it doesn't mean it will be "stocked" -- that was not there when I signed. Why should Authors Guild be concerned about the publisher their authors use? Because it's like standing behind that publisher, and in this case, they would be standing behind a fraud -- a scam -- whatever term you want to use.
They are the worst of the worst and I'm hoping they get what's coming to them. A little time at Club Fed! :Lecture:
Okay, I'm off my soapbox now -- lesson learned, don't get her started! :Soapbox:
P. S. Congratulations on your wedding. (Here's snoopy dancing at your wedding). :snoopy:
KellyS.
03-22-2005, 08:56 AM
Yeah, the whole happy-happy idea of doing a Snoopy dance over that silly dollar is getting old. The only thing it's symbolic of is a good old-fashioned screwing.
Lola, we lost the bong the other night. Remember? ;)
Are we insinuating something here, hmmmm..... I do NOT have said bong.
KellyS.
03-22-2005, 09:05 AM
<snip>I'm going to defer any future potential posing in briefs or worse to Uncle Jim, the true Fabio, now and in the future, for this thread...
Fabio??? blech
Hey I saw on a show recently where he was on a rollercoaster and got nailed in the face by a bird. I don't know how old the news was, but how often does that happen?
Back to posts that actually mean something.
KellyS.
03-22-2005, 09:06 AM
May I be the Hospitality Director? I promise that peanut butter and brocolli sandwiches with a side of emaciated prime rib will be served at every convention with lukewam coffee and melted ice cream!
Should be a hoot...and a challenge that I am up for!
Please..please...please!
I think you would have to eat it in front of everyone with nothing to share for it to work. lol Then again, you could always pull the fire alarm.
What does a publisher normally do for you, the author? These excerpts from "Publishing, Except Software" (U.S. Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics, Career Guide to Industries, online) say what. I'll underline selected parts to show what you can expect from a traditional publisher that you won't get from a vanity press.
"Although the content and formats may vary, most publishers follow similar steps to produce their publishable material. First, editorial departments must acquire the content, or material, to be published. Some publishers have a staff of writers, reporters, and editors who research and write articles, stories, and other text for the publications. Photographers and artists are also brought in to supplement the stories with photos and illustrations as needed. Other publishers purchase their material, which may also include photos and artwork, from outside sources, mainly independent “freelance” writers, photographers, or artists. When this is done, the publishers obtain the legal right to publish the material from the content providers prior to publication. After the story or article is written, the manuscript is reviewed to check that the information it contains is accurate and then edited to ensure that it uses correct grammar and a writing style that is clear and interesting. Editors and publishers develop captions and headlines and design the pages and the covers....
"Publishers’ publicity, marketing, and circulation departments are responsible for promoting a publication and increasing sales and circulation. Book publishers, in particular, promote new books by creating elaborate publicity campaigns involving book signings and public appearances by the author.
"Getting the publication to the readers is a function of the distribution department. Major book publishers often have large warehouse operations, where books are stored and from which they are delivered as needed."
The full article is at http://www.bls.gov/oco/cg/cgs013.htm
lindylou45
03-22-2005, 09:24 AM
[QUOTE=Ed Williams
P.S. Susan, if you want to read a true tale of romance, something that resonates, just go right here:
http://www.ed-williams.com/sally.html[/QUOTE]
All righty then! :flag:
JDElder
03-22-2005, 09:46 AM
[QUOTE=JDElder] But I guess I'm having a hard time finding the "f-word" in this- fraud.
How about false advertising? Misleading information/implied promises on their website? Or maybe deceptive practices? When I signed with PA their website looked A LOT different than it does now. They promised on their website line-by-line editing. Now Larry Clopper says they only copy edit. Their website said that my book would be "stocked" in brick and mortar bookstores. Now their website says they will be "available" and suddenly there is a cautionary note -- stating that because the book is "available" it doesn't mean it will be "stocked" -- that was not there when I signed. Why should Authors Guild be concerned about the publisher their authors use? Because it's like standing behind that publisher, and in this case, they would be standing behind a fraud -- a scam -- whatever term you want to use.
They are the worst of the worst and I'm hoping they get what's coming to them. A little time at Club Fed! :Lecture:
Okay, I'm off my soapbox now -- lesson learned, don't get her started! :Soapbox:
P. S. Congratulations on your wedding. (Here's snoopy dancing at your wedding). :snoopy:
Don't worry. I've been known to climb up on a few soapboxes myself.
I'm a big believer in the concept of what comes around, goes around, karmatic justice, or whatever you want to call it. A house of cards will only stay upright for so long before it gets knocked down. At the very least, these guys are guilty of adopting a business model that is very unhealthy and unadvantageous for me, the author, in terms of quality control, editing, gaining widespread exposure, and seeing my book in a bookstore.
I get the whole thing about professionalism and presentation. After the AP article came out, I reread my author copy, nearly had a stroke, and ended up going back and reediting the book myself. And no, I wasn't very happy and I made it transparently clear to PA that I wanted these screw-ups fixed. And they did. If the book is half as good as I hope it is, it's because I stayed up half the night one evening going through it with a fine tooth comb to catch all the mistakes- all 73 of them. And that's why I'd rather see it judged on the merits and not who the publisher is. Because for better for worse, the final product is the result of my efforts and perseverance- not PA's.
That $1 advance did come in handy when I drove to work the next morning and needed the toll money.
I'd do the whole scivvies thing except for the fact that 1) I'm not THAT desperate for attention and 2) it'd just gross everybody out.
When I get back next week, it's back to business and writing novel #2.
lindylou45
03-22-2005, 09:50 AM
UNLESS SHERYL AND I ARE MISTAKEN - the word is SPINE!!!!
Nancy
I'm sure you're right, but the question -- "Is there such a word as spline?" -- was asked and answered.
Alphabeter
03-22-2005, 10:18 AM
I want to be the Acquisitions Editor.
I have loads of time to completely read submissions, reject 80% of them, and issue contracts to those over 18 with the properly edited and formatted manuscripts.
And I will reply to all of my email in a timely manner.
I also have friends with badges should anything fraudulent attempt to occur.
lindylou45
03-22-2005, 10:26 AM
On a serious note. I think we should all get together and buy PA if they sell it. Just think how rich we could become.:ROFL: Show them how a real publisher should do things.
We could all kick in our advance. :partyguy:
lindylou45
03-22-2005, 10:33 AM
[QUOTE=JennaGlatzer]No matter where you live (as long as it's in the US), if you are a PA or ex-PA author willing to speak out about your experiences, please e-mail me. All I need from you is your e-mail address and where you live. Include your phone number or website address if you like, but it's not necessary.
Jenna, I sent you a private message.
I've talked about my experience so much on the internet it certainly won't bother me. I'm in Kansas, very close to Kansas City, Missouri.
lindylou45
03-22-2005, 10:39 AM
Better yet Mem, since you got the tone down to a science you can be the AST. Any takers on the Infocenter?
I want Janet Morrisey's job! :banana:
lindylou45
03-22-2005, 10:53 AM
I would like to be the new PA accountant, Janet Morrisey.
My qualifications: I know absolutely nothing about accounting. Or math.
Oh shoot! I wanted that job! Can we share?
lindylou45
03-22-2005, 11:01 AM
[QUOTE=NancyMehl]I'm in Kansas. We barely have TV here. (Grin)
Why does everybody hate Kansas so much? :Shrug: It's Bob Dole, isn't it? :Ssh:
Diana Hignutt
03-22-2005, 01:40 PM
Hey, I was busy volunteering for the Philly news thing...I missed all the good jobs at our new and improved PA.
Well, I could always be Author Support ... I hear you don't have to do too much to fill that position-I can ignore phone calls and emails like the best of them.
Oh, dear Kevin, yes, I'll always be your jersey girl, just don't do that insurance duck thing again...
diana
Fractured_Chaos
03-22-2005, 02:15 PM
[QUOTE=NancyMehl]I'm in Kansas. We barely have TV here. (Grin)
Why does everybody hate Kansas so much? :Shrug: It's Bob Dole, isn't it? :Ssh:
Nah! It's because it's still in black and white! :wag:
*drgn dives under the couch before she can get swatted with the broom*
(I spent 25 years in Kansas...I figure I'm entitled)
Ed Williams
03-22-2005, 04:28 PM
...we findeth the following quoteth from Mr. Clopper, coming from an article whose link I shall posteth later:
Publishamerica's Clopper said he understands author's frustration when they are trying to publish a book and get rejected.
"I tell them they are in very good company. Mark Twain was rejected, Shakespeare, Dr. Seuss's work was rejected and he was told it was bizarre," he said.
Clopper founded the publishing company in 1999 after he could not get his own work published by any mainstream publishers. "They did not think there was a commercial market for it," he said. "I wrote two books and I could not get them published for a couple of years. I took a course on publishing and self-published, printed and bound one book. I met with Random House and ultimately I had failed."And this beith the man who many have entrusteth their publishing futures to....
You may findeth the entire article here:
http://www.gazette.net/200511/gaithersburg/news/264855-1.html
cwgranny
03-22-2005, 04:30 PM
I would like a job in the new PA empire...I want to be Royal High Keeper of the PA Dictionary...the one where we redefine all publishing terms to mean whatever we want to that we can argue the rightness of our cause...
POD -- Petite Orange Ducks, as in "We are in no way POD, and we will never be POD. We wouldn't even eat POD."
tone -- reasonable argument made by ticked off person we screwed, as in "Don't use that tone with us!"
I'll have the dictionary bound at Kinkos and everything. Maybe we can sell one to each new author. We'll call it "promotional material" since one of the new definitions of promote is "way we can separate authors from even more money."
gran
Ed Williams
03-22-2005, 04:37 PM
....in positions with the New PA, here's a position opening anyone here can apply for.
Position Opening: Director of Cigarette Money Investment
Position Description:
Advises authors on where to best invest royalty earnings from the New PA. Special attention is given to penny stocks, lottery tickets, and, in the case of our high earners, $2 dogtrack betting slips.
Position Qualifications:
The ability to Lie On Demand.
The ability to make $1.06 royalty payouts resonate in the author's pocket.
The less education you have, the better, as it gives you more excuses to use when said authors castigate you for such crummy royalties.Please send your resume to this email addy: ed3@ed-williams.com (ed3@ed-williams.com) Bribes and anything a good lookin' woman is willing to offer will count heavily towards our final decision.
Good luck!
underthecity
03-22-2005, 04:40 PM
...we findeth the following quoteth from Mr. Clopper, coming from an article whose link I shall posteth later:
You may findeth the entire article here:
So I checked out this article. The headline says "Author e-publishes book on Bradys."
"E-publishes?" I thought it was POD, not POD. Or was it POD, not POD?
I wasn't aware that PA did e-publishing.
underthecity
Miss Sheri,
You are a VAMP. I come back and you are taking over! Kissing :kiss: Miss Jenna’s butt, just giving her any ol’ job she wants. :eek: Handing out positions like ugly on an ape. This is going to have to stop! Now, I have decided I want the activities directors job! I would like to decorate the townhouse and make it look :Fairydust more like a publishing company. Maybe we could throw up a few fancy printers, :Lecture: make it look like we print those books here. I would like to ad Tea :Coffee: to our breakfast bar so people have a choice and maybe see if Jenna would let us come on her TV show. I figure after words we could have a ho-down :banana: :Guitar: and invite the cute girl flashing her butt :thankyou: whata ya think? You will have to earn my special tea or give me a dollar in advance! :roll:
Is that you underthecity? Your a cutie! You can be our new hostess with the mostess!
realitychuck
03-22-2005, 05:11 PM
I want to be General Sales Manager, overseeing the vast PA salesforce as they tirelessly go to bookstores and buyers with the latest catalog and work to get get PA books stocked, so that the . . .
Oh, heck. My sarcasm generator blew a fuse.
Moondancer
03-22-2005, 05:13 PM
Position Opening: Director of Cigarette Money Investment
Position Description:
Advises authors on where to best invest royalty earnings from the New PA. Special attention is given to penny stocks, lottery tickets, and, in the case of our high earners, $2 dogtrack betting slips.
Position Qualifications:
The ability to Lie On Demand.
The ability to make $1.06 royalty payouts resonate in the author's pocket.
The less education you have, the better, as it gives you more excuses to use when said authors castigate you for such crummy royalties.
Damn, I'm overqualified before I get through the first requirement and it just gets worse from there. :cry:
Sher2
03-22-2005, 05:15 PM
Miss Sheri,
You are a VAMP. I come back and you are taking over! Kissing :kiss: Miss Jenna’s butt, just giving her any ol’ job she wants. :eek: Handing out positions like ugly on an ape. This is going to have to stop! Now, I have decided I want the activities directors job! I would like to decorate the townhouse and make it look :Fairydust more like a publishing company. Maybe we could throw up a few fancy printers, :Lecture: make it look like we print those books here. I would like to ad Tea :Coffee: to our breakfast bar so people have a choice and maybe see if Jenna would let us come on her TV show. I figure after words we could have a ho-down :banana: :Guitar: and invite the cute girl flashing her butt :thankyou: whata ya think? You will have to earn my special tea or give me a dollar in advance! :roll:
VAMP? Damn straight! But don't be callin' me no ho, now. You can decorate the townhouse to your heart's content, but no butt flashing. And don't be mixing up any Kool-Aid -- everybody's wise to that. I'd give you the dollar for some of that tea. Unfortunately, I spent it on fairy dust. Can I pay you next week?
Where the heck are all the leaders when you need them? :Shrug: We got people coming in like flies to honey. Flies....where the heck did the bees go? You all just take a seat and we will have someone delete you asap!:Hammer:
underthecity
03-22-2005, 05:18 PM
Is that you underthecity? Your a cutie! You can be our new hostess with the mostess!
T42, thanks for the compliment, but I'm a "he," so I would technically have to be the "host with the most." :heart:
underthecity
Aconite
03-22-2005, 05:18 PM
If the book is half as good as I hope it is, it's because I stayed up half the night one evening going through it with a fine tooth comb to catch all the mistakes- all 73 of them. And that's why I'd rather see it judged on the merits and not who the publisher is. Because for better for worse, the final product is the result of my efforts and perseverance- not PA's.
But, you see, it still matters who the publisher is. You caught all the mistakes you could identify as mistakes. But authors are notoriously bad about missing things in their manuscripts, either because they're so familiar with them that they don't see them anymore, or because they thought they were correct the first time. (One example of that is in your post: "fine tooth comb." Another: your use of hyphens in place of dashes. See what I mean? If you think something's right, you don't mark it as a mistake.) That's where the publisher's editorial team comes in--editing, copyediting, and proofreading those manuscripts.
Plus, there are a lot of things about book design and layout that people who aren't familiar with the field simply don't think about, but which affect the reader's ability to physically read the book. Good publishers pay attention to the typeface, to the kerning of the letters and words in the books, to avoiding "rivers of white," and a bunch of other things that readers notice, but don't notice they notice, if you know what I mean. Those elements are what let you pick up a commercially published book and one printed directly from Wordperfect in Times New Roman with justified right and left margins and easily tell which is which. Trying to read a book with bad layout can be physically difficult. That doesn't change no matter how engaging the content of the book may be.
VAMP? Damn straight! But don't be callin' me no ho, now. You can decorate the townhouse to your heart's content, but no butt flashing. And don't be mixing up any Kool-Aid -- everybody's wise to that. I'd give you the dollar for some of that tea. Unfortunately, I spent it on fairy dust. Can I pay you next week?It's about time you got to work! We only have room for a couple of Ho's in this company and you didn't get your picture up in time honey!
Yes, pay me next week! I lied....you don't get your dang Tea!
Christine N.
03-22-2005, 05:21 PM
Jenna,
You have mail!
diana
You da woman! Make us S. Jersey girls proud :)
Darn, Joy, I want to be Acquisitions Editor. I can accept all ms's at the speed of a modem! Heck, I can read five pages and pass judgement just as well as the next guy. Good or bad, they all deserve a chance, right?
T42, thanks for the compliment, but I'm a "he," so I would technically have to be the "host with the most." :heart:
underthecityWell sweetie, I know your a HE, that is obvious but since I'm the new activites director Moe-Randa says I can call anybody anything I want so please don't take that tone with me and I will expect an apology!
underthecity
03-22-2005, 05:33 PM
Moe-Randa says I can call anybody anything I want so please don't take that tone with me and I will expect an apology!
Apologize? Apologize this! :guns:
T42, you always make me smile.
utc
Apologize? Apologize this! :guns:
T42, you always make me smile.
utc:o Well, okay...then you can do anything you want! :Hug2: Your hired, I don't care what Miss Sheri says. Just ignore her! If she sends you a letter through the snail mail, ignore her.:Shrug: My advice, :Lecture: ignore her!
I want to be General Sales Manager, overseeing the vast PA salesforce as they tirelessly go to bookstores and buyers with the latest catalog and work to get get PA books stocked, so that the . . .
Oh, heck. My sarcasm generator blew a fuse.:Lecture: Chuck, you do need to work on the sarcasm or you will never get this job! Get the whip out...that should do it!:whip: AND stay out of the PA thread where the "picture" is with that whip.
Sher2
03-22-2005, 05:46 PM
....in positions with the New PA, here's a position opening anyone here can apply for.
[/color]Please send your resume to this email addy: ed3@ed-williams.com (ed3@ed-williams.com) Bribes and anything a good lookin' woman is willing to offer will count heavily towards our final decision.
Good luck!
Since there's obviously going to be rampant sexual harassment in the townhouse anyway, I'd like to hire some winsome cabana boys to hold fans, serve drinks, and whatever else might come up.
Sher2
03-22-2005, 05:48 PM
:o Well, okay...then you can do anything you want! :Hug2: Your hired, I don't care what Miss Sheri says. Just ignore her! If she sends you a letter through the snail mail, ignore her.:Shrug: My advice, :Lecture: ignore her!
UTC, don't listen to Mem. She's just mad because my pic is cuter than hers. As a principal in the New PA, you can send me mail any time -- I'll ignore yours just as quick as I'll ignore anyone else's.
Since there's obviously going to be rampant sexual harassment in the townhouse anyway, I'd like to hire some winsome cabana boys to hold fans, serve drinks, and whatever else might come up.I think that Ed should be in charge of the banana boys. :banana: Oh, cabana boys:confused: . I'm gonna need another brownie..maybe some tea
UTC, don't listen to Mem. She's just mad because my pic is cuter than hers. As a principal in the New PA, you can send me mail any time -- I'll ignore yours just as quick as I'll ignore anyone else's.:box: Lier! I'm not mad about the picture. I'm mad about your TONE! I'm mad because I need to do some packing :snoopy: (were leaving the country):snoopy: and I'm here doing your job little missy.
Sher2
03-22-2005, 05:59 PM
:box: Lier! I'm not mad about the picture. I'm mad about your TONE! I'm mad because I need to do some packing :snoopy: (were leaving the country):snoopy: and I'm here doing your job little missy.
What, is the law hot on your butt? I'll bet Curlem gave you the password to one of the off-shore accounts, didn't he? Just so you know, Mem -- I'm taking TONE lessons so I can be even better at my new job.:wag:
Good heavens, so many vastly under-qualified applicants for so few positions. This is going to be one hell of a bold new publishing venture!
Miss Sheri, I am leaving the townhouse now!:gone: Find someone else to do your dirty work!
And don't forget, A true friend never get's in your way unless you happen to be going down...now get the heck outa my way!:poke:
Trapped in amber
03-22-2005, 06:12 PM
Welcome Aconite! :hooray:Cool post. Have you got a canary?
Sheryl Nantus
03-22-2005, 06:18 PM
But, you see, it still matters who the publisher is. You caught all the mistakes you could identify as mistakes. But authors are notoriously bad about missing things in their manuscripts, either because they're so familiar with them that they don't see them anymore, or because they thought they were correct the first time. (One example of that is in your post: "fine tooth comb." Another: your use of hyphens in place of dashes. See what I mean? If you think something's right, you don't mark it as a mistake.) That's where the publisher's editorial team comes in--editing, copyediting, and proofreading those manuscripts.
Plus, there are a lot of things about book design and layout that people who aren't familiar with the field simply don't think about, but which affect the reader's ability to physically read the book. Good publishers pay attention to the typeface, to the kerning of the letters and words in the books, to avoiding "rivers of white," and a bunch of other things that readers notice, but don't notice they notice, if you know what I mean. Those elements are what let you pick up a commercially published book and one printed directly from Wordperfect in Times New Roman with justified right and left margins and easily tell which is which. Trying to read a book with bad layout can be physically difficult. That doesn't change no matter how engaging the content of the book may be.
*waves hello to the new poster*
a great post - and one that all the PA authors should be reading.
folks, it doesn't matter how good your language and grammar skills are, editors are THERE to find the errors you've missed. It's not your JOB to do anything other than deliver the best manuscript you can to your publisher, and that doesn't mean putting out money for a private editor.
and don't give me that "they'll destroy my VOICE!" crap - a good editor will help you to enhance it and increase the potential that you have in telling a good story. PublishAmerica loves to encourage this myth that editors are all about taking all of your personality out of the story, yatta yatta yatta. It's all crap and don't you believe it for a second.
remember... *points down at sig*
peas, out!
Gratian Gasparri
03-22-2005, 06:29 PM
I'll agree that this "fact" is sadly little known, mainly because it's not a fact at all. And the marketing assertion is either simply false or uninformed (probably the latter).
Ed, from my own experience writing niche nonfiction, I would put this in the "fact, but highly distorted" category. Nevertheless, I imagine it would be different for writers in other genres.
So while I put a huge chunk of time into promoting each of my books, a lot of it involved publishing spin-off articles from each of my books. In other words, a lot of my promotion involved other writing projects generated by the book, for which I was appropriately paid.
Which is something else each PA author should ask him-or-herself: Is my book with PA generating additional PAYING opportunities to publish?
NancyMehl
03-22-2005, 06:36 PM
How about false advertising? Misleading information/implied promises on their website? Or maybe deceptive practices? When I signed with PA their website looked A LOT different than it does now. They promised on their website line-by-line editing. Now Larry Clopper says they only copy edit. Their website said that my book would be "stocked" in brick and mortar bookstores. Now their website says they will be "available" and suddenly there is a cautionary note -- stating that because the book is "available" it doesn't mean it will be "stocked" -- that was not there when I signed.
It's because of the efforts of several people - a lot of them on this forum - that PA has been forced to make these changes. If nothing else was ever accomplished, at least Clopper and Meiners have been made to tell the truth about some things. It's a start.
Nancy
NancyMehl
03-22-2005, 06:46 PM
Why does everybody hate Kansas so much? :Shrug: It's Bob Dole, isn't it? :Ssh:
No. It isn't Bob Dole. In fact, I really like Bob Dole.
To tell you the truth, it's the whole Wizard of Oz thing. Ever since someone in Kansas made a comment about "monkeys flying out of my butt" - well, no one wants to come here.
Quite sad, really. :cry:
Nancy
James D. Macdonald
03-22-2005, 07:10 PM
A bit of a roundup:
UTC: At one time, PA also produced e-books. They used the same ISBNs as their physical books (a major no-no -- each version of a book (trade cloth, trade paper, mass market, electronic, whatever) has to have its own ISBN since (in distribution) the ISBN is the book. They dropped the e-books after this problem was brought up in this forum (and their practices were brought to the attention of Bowker).
I expect that e-books weren't selling any better for PA than they were for most anyone else, so dropping them saved them money.
Concerning editing: I wonder if Canada James would comment on the difference between being edited by PA and being edited by someone else? And has his new editor destroyed his style and voice?
Concerning promotion: Yes, authors promote their books, but we don't promote 'em copy-by-copy.
The very best promotion is bringing out another book. (People buy books when they've read and liked something else by the same author.)
Now these job opportunities: Can I write the press releases? I can run a mail merge program with the best of 'em. Resonate with an audience? Hah! Before I'm done, each new book will reflect, vibrate, throb, and sound with an audience! And those books won't just fit our specialty like a glove -- they'll fit our specialty like a pair of jeans on Britney Spears' butt. So hah! (And, I'd like to be the Cruise Director on the pirate ship.)
victoriastrauss
03-22-2005, 07:23 PM
....in positions with the New PA, here's a position opening anyone here can apply for.I want to be the back cover blurb writer. I want to write anything that comes into my head, without worrying whether it has anything to do with the book. And I don't want to have to spellcheck it or use the damn dictionary, either.
- Victoria
realitychuck
03-22-2005, 07:26 PM
and don't give me that "they'll destroy my VOICE!" crap - a good editor will help you to enhance it and increase the potential that you have in telling a good story. PublishAmerica loves to encourage this myth that editors are all about taking all of your personality out of the story, yatta yatta yatta. It's all crap and don't you believe it for a second. That's an important point. I've seen a lot of beginning writers who think that having an editor at a publisher edit their work is a quick way to ruin it. Often from the same people who are submitting their work to writing groups and contemplating a book doctor. :Wha:
In traditional publishing, book editors don't "edit" in the sense of "rewriting the book." If the book needs massive rewriting, it's not purchased; if it needs some small changes, the editor will ask the author to fix them. In addition, a copyeditor will check for consistency, the use of the wrong word, and other errors that are going to detract from the work.
But in both cases, the purpose is to make your book the best it can be. And if the editor gives a suggestion you don't like, you're free to say so. (Joel Rosenberg once said that his editors give him ten suggestions for each of his books. Usually three are things that he should have thought of when writing the book, four don't matter one way or another, and the other three are things he can't accept -- so he tells the editor that.)
PA's claim, "We don't touch style issues, we don't edit the author's voice, tone, or delivery," preys upon the misconceptions of beginning writers. No traditional publisher will edit the author's voice, tone, or delivery -- if there are things they don't like in any of these, they won't buy the book. The copyeditor will handle style issues, but in publishing "style" means "house style" and deals with things like serial commas, how books are referenced, and other technical matters.
Beginning authors are illogically afraid of what a book editor does, and PA (surprise!) feeds this fear.
DeadlyAccurate
03-22-2005, 07:42 PM
Originally Posted by lindylou45
Why does everybody hate Kansas so much? It's Bob Dole, isn't it?
I thought it was Fred Phelps.
I want to be the back cover blurb writer. I want to write anything that comes into my head, without worrying whether it has anything to do with the book. And I don't want to have to spellcheck it or use the damn dictionary, either.
- Victoria;) Victoria dear, just put the disclaimer on the back of everyone’s book and you’ll do fine. Now, Uncle Jim, as cruise director you would kind of be stepping into my territory. I’ve come to the conclusion that some of you are just too :Lecture: intelligent for this job so Miss Sheri is probably going to have to have you all deleted while we look for qualifications more to PA’s liking. I'm stepping back out of the town house for a few moments so don't be sniffing the glue while I'm gone. (although that might get you another consideration for the job) :Clap:
CaoPaux
03-22-2005, 07:51 PM
I want to be Gatekeeper of Review Copies! All shall cower before me, for I shall hold their every chance for public notice hostage to my whim! BWAHAhahahahahaha-ha–hack *cough*.
I want to be Gatekeeper of Review Copies! All shall cower before me, for I shall hold their every chance for public notice hostage to my whim! BWAHAhahahahahaha-ha–hack *cough*.CaoPaux, it is obvious that the people in charge of this whole escapade is not here :Shrug: so please go to the back yard so that you are easier to ignore! I'm sure they will get to you when they can. NOT! :wag:
There will never be a new PA, without a new HB. Someone has to step up here.
Thug DolanOkay Dolan, I will go over Miss Sheri's head. You can be :hat: HB. Just stop begging...:Hail: that's PAthetic!
I'm leaving now and when I come back I want my second green square...dang it!
NancyMehl
03-22-2005, 08:10 PM
I thought it was Fred Phelps.
We have a winner....:(
Nancy
Gratian Gasparri
03-22-2005, 08:11 PM
There will never be a new PA, without a new HB. Someone has to step up here.
I was hoping to be editor for the new PA's inspirational, romance, and horror lines. But you're right in stating we need a new HB. So I will set aside my dreams for the common good.
WhisperingBard
03-22-2005, 08:12 PM
Before I'm done, each new book will reflect, vibrate, throb, and sound with an audience! And those books won't just fit our specialty like a glove -- they'll fit our specialty like a pair of jeans on Britney Spears' butt. So hah! (And, I'd like to be the Cruise Director on the pirate ship.)
Hell, I don't want to work, but sign me up for the cruise! :PartySmil
Christine N.
03-22-2005, 08:19 PM
The very best promotion is bringing out another book. (People buy books when they've read and liked something else by the same author.)
Good, then I have a good marketing strategy, as soon as I get off this bloody forum and get back to work!
Now these job opportunities: Can I write the press releases? I can run a mail merge program with the best of 'em. Resonate with an audience? Hah! Before I'm done, each new book will reflect, vibrate, throb, and sound with an audience! And those books won't just fit our specialty like a glove -- they'll fit our specialty like a pair of jeans on Britney Spears' butt. So hah! (And, I'd like to be the Cruise Director on the pirate ship.)
But will they echo? I wanna see a book that will echo with an audience. And will they prance like purple pony on an Atlanta Night?
How about...
Our books will fit our specialty like purple spandex on Kevin's... !
Yeah, I got into the brownies. All hail the cruise director!
AnneMarble
03-22-2005, 08:24 PM
Plus, there are a lot of things about book design and layout that people who aren't familiar with the field simply don't think about, but which affect the reader's ability to physically read the book. Good publishers pay attention to the typeface, to the kerning of the letters and words in the books, to avoiding "rivers of white," and a bunch of other things that readers notice, but don't notice they notice, if you know what I mean. Those elements are what let you pick up a commercially published book and one printed directly from Wordperfect in Times New Roman with justified right and left margins and easily tell which is which. Trying to read a book with bad layout can be physically difficult. That doesn't change no matter how engaging the content of the book may be.
That's a really good point. Sometimes people forget that just because the typical reader can't name the thing that's wrong with the book, that means they don't notice it. But of course, that's wrong. They might not have the vocabulary to identify it, but they can look at a book and know what's wrong. (However, not everybody has the eye; don't get me started on authors who see their page proofs in the journal I edit and say they don't like they layout because there is "too much white space.")
Years ago, before the days of POD, I bought a time travel/historical novel written by a guy who lived in my county. I think it was put out by a small press, although in the same size as a mass market paperback. Even to my eyes, I could tell there was something "different" about the book. From the time I opened it, it was clear it hadn't been put out by a regular press. There was something odd about the font, and it looked as if it had come off an office printer. I wish I still had it. Now that I have more experience in printing, I could probably look at it and find more errors.
I've noticed this sort of thing with some authors. I've seen threads where authors claimed that published are better at judging books because they notice technical things such as transitions, view point, etc. Yet I know plenty of non-authors (such as reviewers, etc.) who can find those problems, too. And even readers who aren't familiar with the terms can say things like "It didn't flow right. It seemed choppy."
DaveKuzminski
03-22-2005, 08:24 PM
Poor PA, they don't know it, but they've already been stung once more and this time they published it! Sorry, but now that I know it's out, I'm not going to reveal what PA published or when, but it's sure to be embarrassing to them.
For anyone who thinks I'm condemning the author to having their book terminated, give this some thought. Either this book will instantly gain sales or PA will be throwing away a good book and it will then be picked up elsewhere and the new publisher will then gain sales.
WhisperingBard
03-22-2005, 08:36 PM
Sorry, but now that I know it's out, I'm not going to reveal what PA published or when, but it's sure to be embarrassing to them.
Holdin' out on us, huh, Dave? Cruel, very cruel.
You're such a tease. :tongue
CaoPaux
03-22-2005, 08:55 PM
That's a really good point. Sometimes people forget that just because the typical reader can't name the thing that's wrong with the book, that means they don't notice it. But of course, that's wrong. They might not have the vocabulary to identify it, but they can look at a book and know what's wrong. Hence the adage: If someone tells you something is wrong, they're probably right. If they tell you how to fix it, they're probably wrong. :D
Sorry about this folks, but KellyS. if you are reading this...clear your messages...it won't let me reply to yours because you are full girl:)
KellyS.
03-22-2005, 09:18 PM
I want to be the person who answers the phone, yet can't answer any questions you may have.
T42-I cleared it out. Sorry bout that.
Diana Hignutt
03-22-2005, 09:19 PM
A bit of a roundup:
UTC: At one time, PA also produced e-books. They used the same ISBNs as their physical books (a major no-no -- each version of a book (trade cloth, trade paper, mass market, electronic, whatever) has to have its own ISBN since (in distribution) the ISBN is the book. They dropped the e-books after this problem was brought up in this forum (and their practices were brought to the attention of Bowker).
I expect that e-books weren't selling any better for PA than they were for most anyone else, so dropping them saved them money.
Concerning editing: I wonder if Canada James would comment on the difference between being edited by PA and being edited by someone else? And has his new editor destroyed his style and voice?
Before they had the ebooks at PA, Double Dragon appraoched PA about acquiring the ebook rights to my book. PA turned them down saying that they were going to release it as an ebook themselves (a coincidence?). As, Mr. Macdonald pointed it, they did release a few PA books as ebooks, including mine for about three months under the same ISBN.
I'm not Canada James, but I can also comment on working with a real editor. Behler Publication published my second novel, Empress of Clouds. Behler's Chief Editor, Kristan Ryan is a College English professor, with a MFA from Goddard. She has done professional editing for years. We worked together for months making my book the best it could possibly be. At no time did I feel that I was hampering my artistic vision. My style and voice remained intact, but the book was far superior to what I had originally submitted.
Now, the exciting news...tomorrow afternoon, I'm doing an interview with ...on my experiences with PublishAmerica. This is going to be fun. I took a half day off work to do it. I can't wait.
diana
There will never be a new PA, without a new HB. Someone has to step up here.
First you'll have to pass the physical. Remember, one of your duties will be poster boy. Let's see you levitate over a beach.
Savannah Blue
03-22-2005, 09:26 PM
In traditional publishing, book editors don't "edit" in the sense of "rewriting the book." If the book needs massive rewriting, it's not purchased; if it needs some small changes, the editor will ask the author to fix them. In addition, a copyeditor will check for consistency, the use of the wrong word, and other errors that are going to detract from the work.
But in both cases, the purpose is to make your book the best it can be. And if the editor gives a suggestion you don't like, you're free to say so.
No traditional publisher will edit the author's voice, tone, or delivery -- if there are things they don't like in any of these, they won't buy the book.
Beginning authors are illogically afraid of what a book editor does, and PA (surprise!) feeds this fear.<snipped a few times>
I don't know about anyone else, but the above is exactly what I took PublishAmercia to mean on their website when they declared..."Line by line editing." I had worked and struggled over that manuscript off and on for years and had it the best my efforts were going to get it without professional help.
I would much have preferred a flat out rejection to the humiliation I have now at the thought of such a mess having been printed and offered to the public in my name.
Maybe because of my lack of education on the subject of book publishing, it never entered my mind that an editor would take away from my 'voice.' I was most eagerly looking forward to working with a 'real editor' on making my manuscript into a 'real' book.
Looks like PublishAmerica may have taken away my 'voice' after all. :o
lindylou45
03-22-2005, 09:36 PM
[QUOTE=drgnlvr][QUOTE=lindylou45]
Nah! It's because it's still in black and white! :wag:
Okay, that's just mean! I'll have you know I am in full color!!! :Jump:
*drgn dives under the couch before she can get swatted with the broom*
Good idea! :guns:
lindylou45
03-22-2005, 09:44 PM
[QUOTE=Aconite] to avoiding "rivers of white," and a bunch of other things that readers notice, but don't notice they notice, if you know what I mean.
PA is particularly bad at this.
James D. Macdonald
03-22-2005, 09:47 PM
PA is particularly bad at this.
That's because it can't be automated when flowing a textfile into a .pdf conversion program.
Avoiding those problems requires hand work by a talented typesetter. That's why typesetters can earn a living -- not everyone can do it.
lindylou45
03-22-2005, 09:53 PM
[QUOTE=NancyMehl]
No. It isn't Bob Dole. In fact, I really like Bob Dole.
You like Bob Dole? :Ssh:
To tell you the truth, it's the whole Wizard of Oz thing. Ever since someone in Kansas made a comment about "monkeys flying out of my butt" - well, no one wants to come here.
I've always been afraid of munchkins myself. :faint:
From the PA boards:
"It seems that once you get your name on the board as an author, there is a general assumption made that you will write something else, and you are fair game for a number of legitimate, as well as illegitimate groups (scams) all trying to get into your pocket."
Just curious - do the successful authors here who have published with actual mainstream publishers often receive these same kind of vanity-press/scam come-ons, or are the scammers sharing/obtaining *particular* names under the thought that if they fell for it once...?
lindylou45
03-22-2005, 10:08 PM
[QUOTE=
Now, the exciting news...tomorrow afternoon, I'm doing an interview with Nydia Han, Channel 6 Action News (The Philadelphia ABC affliate) on my experiences with PublishAmerica. This is going to be fun. I took a half day off work to do it. I can't wait.
diana[/QUOTE]
Good luck with the interview. :hooray:
CaoPaux
03-22-2005, 10:08 PM
From the PA boards:
"It seems that once you get your name on the board as an author, there is a general assumption made that you will write something else, and you are fair game for a number of legitimate, as well as illegitimate groups (scams) all trying to get into your pocket."
Just curious - do the successful authors here who have published with actual mainstream publishers often receive these same kind of vanity-press/scam come-ons, or are the scammers sharing/obtaining *particular* names under the thought that if they fell for it once...?Vanity/scam operations do haunt such things as the copyright listings, since they figure anyone registering their own copyright is ripe for the picking....
Ed Williams
03-22-2005, 10:13 PM
...such an overwhelming response to our position offerings for the New PA, we are going to post the choicest plum of all as our final offering, it's this breathtaking new executive position:
"Director of 200"
Position Responsibilities: At the New PA, we believe in improving upon those things which have worked so well for us in the past. Based upon the sales that have been previously achieved by authors giving us a list of 100 names to fleece, uh, sell books to, we're going to improve upon this and hereafter require that all New PA authors submit lists of 200 friends and relatives to shill books off on. Because bringing this off will require someone with no morals, even lesser scruples, and the character of a horny Alabama rabbit, this new position has been created. Think of the professional satisfaction you'll receive when:
1. You call a new author right in the middle of dinner to advise him/her that they've only submitted 87 names thus far, and if they don't cough up the rest that the cover price of their book is increasing $2 a copy in order to offset the potential loss of earnings.
2. After a campaign of incessant harassment to get those 200 names, you vanish whenever they call seeking assistance of some sort. Better yet, you pass along word to them that you have left the employ of the company.
3. You remind them that you can ban them from the information packed New PA boards anytime you feel like it, and better yet, remind them that you can see that they are last in line for the buffet supper at our first New PA Conference! (Guest speakers will include Jamie Farr, who will speak on "Why PA Has It All Over MASH," and our very own Uncle Jim, who will discuss today's hottest new underwear fashions and who'll also debate the age old question of whether Brittney's jeans are really that tight or has she simply had her heiny and legs dyed blue).Tickets are only $6,545 (the cost of a new ICEE machine, several of us want one) per attendee, and checks/money orders should be sent directly to our new Corporate Treasurer, Jenna. Resumes should be forwarded to our new Corporate Human Resources Director, ZaZ. Any bribes or graft that applicants would like to submit along with their applications will gladly be factored into our decision making processes....
James D. Macdonald
03-22-2005, 10:14 PM
Just curious - do the successful authors here who have published with actual mainstream publishers often receive these same kind of vanity-press/scam come-ons, or are the scammers sharing/obtaining *particular* names under the thought that if they fell for it once...?
The only ones I've gotten have been from Xlibris and Bookman Marketing (who apparently spider the web for pages with the word "author" on 'em).
Oh yeah -- did get one not too long ago from someone who claimed he could get me on the radio ....
Not a lot else, though.
(If I were a fisherman, I'd go where the fish are biting....)
==============
Oh, yes... as part of my campaign for Cruise Director, here's my proposed Fun Evening Fun Entertainment on the Fun Pirate Fun Ship Fun Cruise:
7:00 pm Supper
7:10 pm Fire drill
7:30 pm Flogging
8:00 pm Keel hauling
8:30 pm Karaoke
9:00 pm More Flogging
9:30 pm Walk-the-Plank
10:00 pm Group Prance
If the majority of PA authors are unreachable :Headbang: , perhaps even Jennna's efforts will be in vain. Nothing will bring them down, short of a court order.
Hi Rob,
I think that you are correct - the majority of PA authors *are* unreachable. Not because they are less intelligent or less able than anyone else to recognise the scam that is PA, but simply because they now have so much *personally* invested in PA that the facts and the truth have become secondary. In many cases their egos hace forced them to be slaves to the illusion that PA lured them into.
That is one reason why those PA authors/ex-boosters here who have had the fortitude to come forward and work to stop others from falling into the same trap deserve some respect. It takes guts to stand up before this many people and admit that - despite how adamant they once were - they were wrong.
If the current PA authors admit that PA is a scam, then they must admit that they are not legitimately published. Despite the fact that several authors guilds and writers associations *tell* them that this is so, they have to expend the effort (with themselves and with one another on the PA boards) to maintain the illusion that they are "pirates" in the publishing industry and that their work received the same kind of scrutiny prior to being published that is given to works submitted to the mainstream houses.
The Travis Tea escapade (and the Purple Pony before it) was a *huge* blow to that illusion, and strikes at the very heart of what they must hold on to in order to keep fooling themselves.
PA will go down, one way or another. Either in a court of law or in the manner that most scams fall apart - the truth becomes so widespread that the pipeline for new victims is shut off.
It is just a matter of time.
realitychuck
03-22-2005, 10:23 PM
Just curious - do the successful authors here who have published with actual mainstream publishers often receive these same kind of vanity-press/scam come-ons, or are the scammers sharing/obtaining *particular* names under the thought that if they fell for it once...?Got one from Xlibris when they were starting out, and occasionally get some spam e-mail, but nothing from the actual vanity presses.
Jim is right: they know real published authors know better than to go with them, so they search elsewhere.
razzirazz
03-22-2005, 10:24 PM
Hi All,
I just found this forum by happenstance but I would like to reply to a post where my name was sullied (okay only kidding) or at least was mentioned. The post wondered why would a NY Times best selling author with over 90 juvenile books traditionally published (that's me <blush>) go with PA?
Okay, here's my answer --- It's true I was on the NY Times Best Seller List but a looong time ago and ONLY for a week. And it's true that I have had over 90 books published. But the thing is that the book I offered PA had been hanging around my place for over two years and none of my former publishers seemed to want it. I thought it was one of my "better" written books however, and I wanted to get it out there by hook or crook. And so I signed with PA. I have NO expectations for the book other than someone may come upon it by chance (slim chance of that happening!) and may think it would be perfect for a YA TV movie. (I happen to think that it would be.)
In any event the pros and cons of PA seem to be highly subjective and so far I have no opinion either way. And so I shall wait and see.
__Jim
James D. Macdonald
03-22-2005, 10:28 PM
James W. Bennett, I presume? Welcome!
I'd be more than interested in seeing how your experience with PA works out for you.
DaveKuzminski
03-22-2005, 10:28 PM
I still get some of those "come-ons" from vanity-press and such from those that are either new to the Internet or don't know yet that I operate P&E. Interestingly, I just received some information from one such that I emailed for information. They want to represent me if I'll agree to some editing and packaged illustrations. Duh, do they have a surprise in store for them very soon. ;)
By the way, I used my real name in contacting them.
Welcome Jim, so what books have you published? That's a lot of books for one person. You must be pretty well known with that many books published...
PS...Jim since you have all those books, can I have your green square? Please......:)
CaoPaux
03-22-2005, 10:33 PM
I thought it was one of my "better" written books however, and I wanted to get it out there by hook or crook. And so I signed with PA. I have NO expectations for the book other than someone may come upon it by chance (slim chance of that happening!) and may think it would be perfect for a YA TV movie. (I happen to think that it would be.)Hi, Jim! (And welcome all the new posters these past few days.) What you describe is a perfectly reasonable use of a POD operation. True, if you'd gone with a pay-up-front place you'd've received better service, but that's neither here nor there at the moment. I just hope you don't have the "PA gets 50% of movie rights" contract. Good luck with the book!
NancyMehl
03-22-2005, 10:36 PM
You like Bob Dole? [/color]:Ssh:
Hmmmmm. Along with a lot of other people, yes. I respect him as a war hero who has served his country in many different ways. And he has a pretty good sense of humor.
Of course, there's the whole erectile disfunction thing.
There really are some things I would rather not know.....:Huh:
Nancy
Kevin, where are you today? :Shrug: Can Dave and I have one of your squares? How bout you give Dave one and Sheri give me one? We might even consider working for $1.00. (Don't worry Dave, I'm lying to them, they'll never figure it out):Ssh:
razzirazz
03-22-2005, 10:52 PM
Welcome Jim, so what books have you published? That's a lot of books for one person. You must be pretty well known with that many books published...
I was well-known (at least by name) but only among the NY Publishers because I had a half-dozen different ones and of course you get to have a buzz going about your work among the various editors. But readers are a different story. I have talked to people who have read my books but never took note of who wrote them.
And so I would get remarks like, "Oh, I KNOW that book, I read it when I was twelve. And so "you" wrote it? Huh! Isn't that something!"
Yep, fame, fortune and immortality is gone in a blink of the eye.
__Jim
Christine N.
03-22-2005, 11:00 PM
Now, the exciting news...tomorrow afternoon, I'm doing an interview with Nydia Han, Channel 6 Action News (The Philadelphia ABC affliate) on my experiences with PublishAmerica. This is going to be fun. I took a half day off work to do it. I can't wait.
diana
Woo hoo! Tell me when it's going to be on, I'll be watching!
DaveKuzminski
03-22-2005, 11:07 PM
One of the few things that scammers mistakenly believe is that their victims are helpless because the authorities are reluctant to go after them for the small amounts involved. They forget that they will eventually encounter individuals with the fortitude to stand up to them and encourage others to do the same until a critical mass is achieved that forces the authorities to do something.
With that in mind, a cheer for Diana prior to her TV appearance.
Ray, rah, ree,
Kick 'em in the knee!
Ray, rah, razz,
Kick 'em in the other knee!
AC Crispin
03-22-2005, 11:11 PM
I've been contacted a number of times by scam publishers, etc., because I will often (under my own name) drop a line to a publisher or fee-charging service of some kind requesting information. I've even been know to write a paragraph long "proposal" for a non-existent book just to see what happens.
Victoria will tell you that I am an EVIL, EVIL woman if the scammer "bites." I have such fun! If they give me a phone number, I will call them back, get some poor flunky on the line, and ask probing, but disingenuous-seeming, questions until the poor flunky begins to sweat and tells me I really need to speak to her supervisor.
I had SUCH fun with Dorrance one day. <reminiscent sigh> I had written an inquiry about Whitmore, only to begin receiving Dorrance spam nearly every day for two weeks, begging me to submit my book to them...
(Enter conversation at mid-point after listening to sales pitch that never mentions paying them.)
Ann: "When I got your email, I was SO EXCITED to learn that you want to publish my book! Usually my agent has to contact publishers before we hear from them. You must be very eager to acquire this novel!"
Flunky: (blankly) "You have an agent?"
Ann: "Oh, sure! And she does a terrific job. I'm surprised that she didn't send my manuscript to Dorrance, since, from what you're telling me, they're such a top publishing house. I'll have to speak to her about this. Though I have to admit, I've never heard of Dorrance either, until y'all started sending me those warm, friendly emails.
Anyway, now that I know you're interested in bidding on the new trilogy, I will notify my agent immediately! Why, she was thinking of holding an auction if enough publishers showed interest, and now I think that will happen! I'm so THRILLED that Dorrance is so interested in my new project!"
Flunky: (sounding even blanker) "An auction? Err...what is...I mean, we never...what is that?"
Ann: "Oh, an auction is where the book or trilogy or series is sold to the highest bidder. You know, the publisher that offers the highest advance and royalty rate, plus sometimes things like accelerators, and promo budgets, etc."
Flunky: (beginning to panic) "Advance? Oh, I'm afraid you may have misunderstood me, ma'am. Ummm...Dorrance doesn't er, that is, we don't offer advances. Usually." (LIKE NEVER!)
<BEAT>
Ann: (gasping with "shock") "What? You don't offer an advance? Why NOT? How do you compete with the other publishers, then? What do you mean, no advance? How do you pay your authors, if you don't offer advances?"
Flunky: (getting more and more flustered) "Well, we don't. That is, if books sell, there's a royalty, but the authors...they uh...they pay...they pay us."
Ann: (tone of outrage) "WHAT?"
Flunky: (in full retreat) "Look, I think I should have you speak to my supervisor. He could explain all of this much better than I can."
Ann: (completely calm) "Miss, have you ever heard of Writer Beware?"
Flunky: (hesitant) "...yes, I think so."
Ann: (with an edge) "You're talking to the Head of Writer Beware. May I trust that from this day forward you will stop spamming me with your ridiculous offers to pay you money for your wretched vanity press?"
Flunky: (feverishly enthusiastic) "Ma'am, we'll be happy to take you off our mailing list. I assure you, you won't get any more mail from our company."
Ann: (cooing sweetly) "Thank you. You've been so kind. I've enjoyed our chat. Have a nice day!"
<click>
File this under the heading of things scam hunters do with an 800 line when they are bored. <grin>
It's funny, but it's been at least six months since I got a spam email from any sort of publishing-related venture. Perhaps the word has gotten out...
Best,
-Ann C. Crispin
www.accrispin.com (http://www.accrispin.com)
Kevin Yarbrough
03-22-2005, 11:13 PM
Secondly, none of you are evil enough, although I am.
Dave, I can pretty mean if I want to be. There are some mice in my house you can ask. I'm pretty sure they thought I was mean when I threw shoes at them and screamed like a school girl.
First, I want to be InfoCenter. You want to know what I'm wearing? InfoCenter can tell you.
If I can't be InfoCenter, can I head the Author Insult Team?
(Personal for Ed and Kevin: How come all the chicks are wondering about my skivvies, but they're sending y'all the photos of themselves in their skivvies? It ain't fair!)[QUOTE]
Jim, you can be whatever you want to be but only as long as you talk Travis Tea into letting us publishes his new book for the inaguration.
As for the skivvies? Just be glad that all the ladies want to know what you wear. They never asked me.
[QUOTE=Dolan]Sure, I'm a sad, depressed PA author who's marketing efforts get me thrown out of bookstores. I never, never should have used violence on the teenage clerks. It just didn't work like I thought it would.
I see you graduated from the HB Marcus school of promotion. Guess you didn't read the footnotes at the bottom of the page. This only works on male managers, on Indie bookstores, and on your spouse. I will not be held liable if you use this on teenage girls
Hell, I don't want to work, but sign me up for the cruise!
Bard, you are hired. Don't know what, but we will find you something. You said the magic phrase. "Hell, I don't want to work.." Nobody at PA really works.
Dolan, you can be the new HB. Me, I will be the PA employee that comes in under fake names and starts crap. When done I will sit back and watch people be torn asunder.
Our books will fit our specialty like purple spandex on Kevin's... !
Yeah, I got into the brownies. All hail the cruise director!
Christine, where the Hell did you find that picture? I thought I deleted it. But to 'splain myself I took that pic for the back photo for the purple Pony.
razzirazz, welcome. Would like to hear what you think about PA in a 6 months or so. But you are right, fame can be gone in the blink of an eye. If the readers don't remember you it doesn't matter if the editors or publishers do. Sorry that happened to you. But this is why PA is bad people. They might get your book out but without some promotion people won't know you. Do you think people will know me? No. They might know about the Purple Pony, but not me personally. We need to reach our readers, without some support from PA that will never happen on a scale it needs to.
I was well-known (at least by name) but only among the NY Publishers because I had a half-dozen different ones and of course you get to have a buzz going about your work among the various editors. But readers are a different story. I have talked to people who have read my books but never took note of who wrote them.
And so I would get remarks like, "Oh, I KNOW that book, I read it when I was twelve. And so "you" wrote it? Huh! Isn't that something!"
Yep, fame, fortune and immortality is gone in a blink of the eye.
__JimHey Jim, I think that it is great that you were known by anyone. Me not so much! Well, not really because I am getting quite the rep around here but with your help and your green square...no what I mean? It really is nice to have you and enjoy the board. It really is fun. Some people here are more serious then some, but not so much!
MacAllister
03-22-2005, 11:18 PM
It's been discussed before, but it seems time to reiterate (especially as disenfranchised exPAtriates begin to search anew for legitimate publishers.)
Making Light (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/) has a couple of extremely detailed (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/005540.html) and invaluable (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/005555.html) entries regarding what TNH (a real editor, for a real publisher) has observed regarding language that should put you right off:1. “Giving new writers a chance.” Also: “Helping new writers.” <snipped>When you hear someone talking in an indiscriminately general fashion about giving a chance to new writers, there’s something wrong.
2. “Traditional publishing.” <snipped>Publishing houses refer to what they do as “publishing.”
3. “Professionally edited manuscript.” Also, “No publisher will look twice at a manuscript that hasn’t been professionally edited.” Also, any of the numerous variations thereon. <snipped> The part about publishers automatically rejecting manuscripts that haven’t been professionally edited is a flat-out lie. Anyone who tells you that is either a scammer, a complete ignoramus, or a naif who’s been keeping bad company.
4. The terrible odds that you’ll get published. <snipped> People who really work in publishing know that the chances of any single manuscript’s being published, expressed as the proportion it represents of the total slush pile, is a completely meaningless figure.
5. Hopes and dreams. <snipped> One seldom hears real agents, editors, or publishers talk about the author’s hopes and dreams. What they talk about are the author’s books. This is all language that should make your bullsh*t detectors go off with bells, whistles and strobing lights.
I bring this up right now, because elsewhere on AW (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9226) is a spammy sort of a post, recruiting new authors. Her post trips over nearly every one of the above-quoted linguistic markers:Rain Publishing is not producing books; it is creating a mental voyage. A magic carpet ride to escape reality for a moment in time and become one with the written world of thoughtful illusion.(in a big purple font I removed)<snip> Rain Publishing has begun a new revolution of conventional publishing.Did you know that most publishing companies accept less than one percent of proposals received?<snip> together we will be able to continue to feed the dream for upcoming new authors...
It goes on with more of the same tired crap. Her website is even worse.
Now, this post has been pretty decisively deconstructed for the unaware, by some of AW's regular posters. But it's the sort of thing we all encounter over and over again. Knowledge is the first line of defense.
PA's website trips pretty much every one of those markers, as well.
DaveKuzminski
03-22-2005, 11:27 PM
Dave, I can pretty mean if I want to be. There are some mice in my house you can ask. I'm pretty sure they thought I was mean when I threw shoes at them and screamed like a school girl.
Mean is definitely not in the same class as evil. Evil is the power to convince those mice to throw your shoes up in the air and run quick to stand screaming under them as those come down.
Larry creep. Larry creep.
Kevin Yarbrough
03-22-2005, 11:44 PM
Mean is definitely not in the same class as evil. Evil is the power to convince those mice to throw your shoes up in the air and run quick to stand screaming under them as those come down.
Larry creep. Larry creep.
I don't want to kill them. I'm just strying to scare them at first and when the time is right I will have them contact all their mice buddies and send them out to bookstores and sell my book. Now, a whole crap load of mice coming running into a bookstore everyone will run out, I then will be able to run in, get on their computer and make my book "available".
Don't you see the evil of it? It will work. If it doesn't then I will try rats, snakes, and gerbils. Wait, I'm describing the big three ain't I?
WhisperingBard
03-22-2005, 11:53 PM
Bard, you are hired. Don't know what, but we will find you something. You said the magic phrase. "Hell, I don't want to work.." Nobody at PA really works.
Damn, Kev, you outsmarted me. :Smack:
Okay, here are my terms for not working at the new PA:
1. I want a ride on the Purple Pony (okay, guys, get your minds out of the gutter!)
2. I want an autographed picture of Jim McD. in his skivvies
3. I want some more of Christine's brownies
4. I want to know Dave's secret
Cough that up and you've got a deal. I'd be proud to not work for you. :D
Ed Williams
03-22-2005, 11:59 PM
1. I want a ride on the Purple Pony (okay, guys, get your minds out of the gutter!)Promise me, on everything that is holy and Elvis-like, that you will never put that kind of set-up line in front of me again!
DaveKuzminski
03-23-2005, 12:00 AM
For those of you who are still corresponding with PA's author support, keep this in mind:
Whenever you email the author support, use the reply button and include the email addresses of the BBB, Maryland AG, and interested media reporters so they'll see what PA stated and your response.
Address PA's reply to you in a paragraph by paragraph basis. Be brief. Whenever the paragraph you're responding to has a PA claim, ask them pointedly what that was based upon. For instance, if PA claims that a PA book was ignored by one bookstore and carried by another in the same town because of manager preferences, ask for the name of the town and the managers. Make PA validate their claims.
If PA demands an apology, point out that you have a right to ask questions of and for support from PA's author support. Point out that it is their responsibility to give you answers and support, not to demand apologies from you for asking. Then make it clear that they owe you an apology for failing to do their job properly.
When PA responds, odds are they will leave out the other addressees. When you next reply, add back those addressees so that they can see what PA stated in their reply and your new response. Don't let PA off the hook. Put their words in front of the authorities until either the authorities step down on PA or PA releases you without any strings attached.
Almost forgot. Larry creep. Larry creep.
Sher2
03-23-2005, 12:00 AM
Damn, Kev, you outsmarted me. :Smack:
Okay, here are my terms for not working at the new PA:
1. I want a ride on the Purple Pony (okay, guys, get your minds out of the gutter!)
2. I want an autographed picture of Jim McD. in his skivvies
3. I want some more of Christine's brownies
4. I want to know Dave's secret
Cough that up and you've got a deal. I'd be proud to not work for you. :D
See, this is the perfect work ethic, which makes us eminently qualified to run the New PA -- see nothing, hear nothing, do nothing. Except, Bard, my mind is in the gutter -- I'm looking forward to interviewing the cabana boys and ... Oh, never mind. Mem's going to call me a pervert again, I just know it.
KellyS.
03-23-2005, 12:01 AM
Hi, Jim! (And welcome all the new posters these past few days.) What you describe is a perfectly reasonable use of a POD operation. True, if you'd gone with a pay-up-front place you'd've received better service, but that's neither here nor there at the moment. I just hope you don't have the "PA gets 50% of movie rights" contract. Good luck with the book!
That's something that has been bugging me. On the site it says:
FACT #12: PublishAmerica is only interested in a book's publishing rights. We don't want any other rights, unless an author insists that we carry them on his/her behalf. Movie rights, audio rights, TV rights, merchandising rights, the copyright, they all remain the author's. We are a BOOK publisher, the only way we earn our money is by selling books, and we're very good at that. Everything else can be done better by others. Our contracts expire after seven years, unlike the life term that most other traditional publishers require. Maybe that's one of the reasons why our contracts seem to be particularly liked by lawyers: we count a few hundred attorneys among our authors.
Now when I signed, I'm not sure if that was there. I don't think it was. Is it still in the contract that PA gets 50% of the movie rights? If so, isn't having that on their site misleading? Maybe I'm just not getting my head around this right.
WhisperingBard
03-23-2005, 12:06 AM
Promise me, on everything that is holy and Elvis-like, that you will never put that kind of set-up line in front of me again!
Ed, you're just dying to say it, aren't you. :Ssh:
Except, Bard, my mind is in the gutter
All the best ones are, girlfriend! :roll:
DeePower
03-23-2005, 12:07 AM
According to Writers Digest there are 25 million people in the United States who consider themselves writers. Only 5% have ever been published anywhere. That is a huge market for PublishAmerica. It's a wonder that they only publish about 5000 titles a year.
Based on a survey we completed for our new book, a literary agent, on the average, receives 90 unsolicited submissions per week. And each took on an average of 11 new clients a year. They agreed to represent a little more than 2 in 1000 of the authors who contacted them.
Editors, or so they told us, reject 99% of the manuscripts received. (Which makes you kind of wonder, if the major houses do not accept unagented manuscripts then does that mean that 99% of the repped manuscripts also get rejected?)
Bowker says that 175,000 new titles are published annually. About half of those are not meant for consumers and bookstore or retail placement. That leaves 85,000 titles a year that would be appropriate for retail sales or general readers.
If 99% of manuscripts are rejected or only 1% get published, does that mean there are 8,500,000 writers trying to get their books published?
BTW the email address for anyone interested in applying for a job at Publish America is jobs@publishamerica.com
Dee
DaveKuzminski
03-23-2005, 12:09 AM
I read somewhere that it's closer to just 5 million because a lot of writers have more than one manuscript to submit. Wish I could remember where I read that.
Aconite
03-23-2005, 12:14 AM
Trapped in Amber, Sheryl, Cao Paux, thanks for the welcomes. Trapped in Amber, the canaries have formed a union and charge more than I can afford.
Hmm. I wonder if the following bears any relationship to the townhouse crew:
Lawsuit accuses HP of misclassifying employees as independent contractors (http://news.findlaw.com/ap/f/66/03-22-2005/aefd001415de97ba.html)
CaoPaux
03-23-2005, 12:21 AM
That's something that has been bugging me. On the site it says:
FACT #12: PublishAmerica is only interested in a book's publishing rights. We don't want any other rights, unless an author insists that we carry them on his/her behalf. Movie rights, audio rights, TV rights, merchandising rights, the copyright, they all remain the author's. We are a BOOK publisher, the only way we earn our money is by selling books, and we're very good at that. Everything else can be done better by others. Our contracts expire after seven years, unlike the life term that most other traditional publishers require. Maybe that's one of the reasons why our contracts seem to be particularly liked by lawyers: we count a few hundred attorneys among our authors.
Now when I signed, I'm not sure if that was there. I don't think it was. Is it still in the contract that PA gets 50% of the movie rights? If so, isn't having that on their site misleading? Maybe I'm just not getting my head around this right. As of 7/04, this was the relevant clause (bolding mine):
8. No payment shall be made to the Author for permission gratuitously given to others to publish extracts from the said literary work to benefit the sale thereof, but all compensation received by the Publisher for the publication of extraction therefrom, or for serial use after publication in book form, or for translations, or for abridgments, or as a book club selection, shall be divided in the proportion of 50% to the Author and 50% to the Publisher. All compensation received by the Publisher for the dramatic or motion picture rights, or for the first serial rights prior to book publication, or for foreign, radio, dramatic, cheap edition, television and/or all other rights in the said literary work shall be similarly divided between the Author and the Publisher, as hereabove set forth.
James D. Macdonald
03-23-2005, 12:22 AM
If 99% of manuscripts are rejected or only 1% get published, does that mean there are 8,500,000 writers trying to get their books published?
An awful lot of those manuscripts are the same manuscript. For example, __________* has been rejected by every publisher in New York. Five or six times.
The publishable manuscripts that are rejected by one house (due to lack of space in the schedule or recently published a similar work, or some such reason) will be accepted by some other place. The unpublishable ones keep circulating, from slush pile to slush pile, adding to the percentages, but not to the absolute numbers of manuscripts.
One thing is true: A work that is publishable by one is publishable by many.
================
*Actual title deleted -- I don't have anything against the author, who is probably a perfectly nice fellow, and see no need to embarrass him in public.
KellyS.
03-23-2005, 12:23 AM
I've joined the bandwagon:
Dear XXXXXXX,
For now, your contract termination request is denied, and your contract
remains fully in effect. You are under a wide variety of misconceptions. If
you can provide us with coherent reasons why you want your contract
dissolved, we will reconsider it at that time. Please consult legal counsel
prior to making accusations which are simply not true.
>>I believed from your web site and the material sent to me
>>that you would place my book in brick and mortar stores
No, you could not have "believed" such a thing. No publisher guarantees
book sales to bookstores.
However, in 2004, Barnes and Noble alone purchased more than 30,000 books
from us, making it our largest customer, and Borders and Books-a-Million
were our second and third largest customers. Each day, bookstores order a
PublishAmerica book more than 300 times on average. The fact that those
particular bookstores decided not to stock your particular book does not
change this. Bookstores stock our books all the time.
For bookstores to stock all books published would mean adding 15 feet of
new shelf space every day. Therefore bookstore managers must be selective,
so they decide based on what that they think will sell. If they do think it
will sell, they will stock it, and vice versa. So, if your book is romance
and the store's shelves are overflowing with romance novels, the odds are
they won't stock it. And, if your book is a history of agriculture in
Tupelo County, Mississippi, the bookstore manager in Seattle may feel the
same way.
Every bookstore will carry a book that they think will sell, regardless of
whether it is returnable or not, regardless of whether it is printed on
digital or offset presses.
Please do not judge a bookstore's corporate policy by what one local
manager or one letter tells you. You can find stories on our website about,
for example, two Borders locations in one town: one manager insists that he
cannot carry a book, the other orders 40 copies. Bookstore managers are
human, they have strengths and weaknesses like all of us, they can make
good judgment calls and bad ones. One will like your book, the other may not.
>>You stated and still state that you are a "traditional
>>publisher" in that you pay your authors.
Yes, that is correct.
>>It was never stated that royalties would be paid on the
>>net sale price. It said sale price, but no distinction
>>between retail vs. net was ever made. I don't think a
>>lot of your statements are clear.
Yes, it was very clear. As you state, "it said sale price." Sale price
usually means something very different from retail price.
>>I also believe that many first-time authors won't notice it.
Yes, they do notice it. It has not been a problem.
>>It was never made clear that to purchase my book from brick and
>>mortar stores a customer would have to do so by special ordering it.
>>No press releases were sent out by you regarding my book as was stated.
Yes, they were.
>>To have my book in brick and mortar stores "from sea to shining sea"
>>would require bookstores to actually accept PA books on a chainwide basis.
No, it would not. Please see our testimonials.
>>I also have the belief that my book was never read before
>>being accepted. If you declare your company a traditional
>>publisher, then every book submitted should be read before
>>being published.
As above, your "beliefs" are simply, plainly, false.
>>I don't feel as if your company did as they said they would
>>according to your website and the materials sent to me at
>>the time of my signing.
Yes, we did.
If you have any reasons that are not factually untrue, for your request,
please forward them to us and we will consider them at our next review meeting.
Thank You,
Author Support
All >>'s are my quotes they chose to address.
Here is my original email so that you can see what wasn't addressed:
Hello,
I am writing to you regarding my book rights to XXXXX. You printed my book in January of 2004.
When I signed with you, I believed from your web site and the material sent to me that you would place my book in brick and mortar stores "from sea to shining sea" as you put it. It was never made clear that to purchase my book from brick and mortar stores a customer would have to do so by special ordering it. Your website, when I signed, said that the author has already done the lion's share of the work and to let the publisher (you) do the rest. I promoted my book locally and online. I had my local newspaper do a story regarding my book. No press releases were sent out by you regarding my book as was stated.
To have my book in brick and mortar stores "from sea to shining sea" would require bookstores to actually accept PA books on a chainwide basis. I've seen countless refusals by bookstores regarding this. The reasons stated have been: little to no editing, poor quality, and overpricing. My book is 108 pages and retails for $16.95. I would not pay that price for a book of that size by my favorite author.
You stated and still state that you are a "traditional publisher" in that you pay your authors. That would be great if you actually helped to promote the books in the traditional sense. In the time that my book has been available, I've made -among three royalty checks- just over $50 . I do not see how that can be construed as lucrative for either you or me. It was never stated that royalties would be paid on the net sale price. It said sale price, but no distinction between retail vs. net was ever made. I don't think a lot of your statements are clear. I also believe that many first-time authors won't notice it.
I feel as if my book was printed, not published and doesn't stand any sort of chance of being made available "from sea to shining sea". I also have the belief that my book was never read before being accepted. If you declare your company a traditional publisher, then every book submitted should be read before being published. I don't feel as if your company did as they said they would according to your website and the materials sent to me at the time of my signing.
I wish for my book rights to be given back to me and our contract terminated. I am not happy to just hold a book in my hands. I have more aspirations for it than that. Due to my marketing, I believe any "costs" to you (my two author copies) have been made up for with profit in addition to that. I will no longer market my book. I did what I could and you did nothing.
Below you will find a screenshot of a page on your site that I saw when making my decision to sign with you.
Thank you,
XXXXXX
DaveKuzminski
03-23-2005, 12:25 AM
I don't believe that PA is very good about selling books to the public. This is just a reminder to all PA authors to participate in the poll in the Take It Outside topic to let us know how many books you self-purchased. We do need this information because it can prove whether PA actually sells books.
Trapped in amber
03-23-2005, 12:25 AM
Aconite, keep low down to the ground, and if it gets difficult to breath, leg it.:scared:
Dee, thanks for posting that. It seems today I'm cursed with reading very scary stuff about publishing, but I prefer to know these things. :Thumbs:
It doesn't put me off:crazy:
DaveKuzminski
03-23-2005, 12:29 AM
No, you could not have "believed" such a thing.
As above, your "beliefs" are simply, plainly, false.
They're trying to pull Jedi mind tricks on you. Tell them they're clearly mistaken as you know what you believed better than any of them.
Then hit them again with what you believed and that their own claims led you to believe that.
Gratian Gasparri
03-23-2005, 12:29 AM
"It seems that once you get your name on the board as an author, there is a general assumption made that you will write something else, and you are fair game for a number of legitimate, as well as illegitimate groups (scams) all trying to get into your pocket."
Just curious - do the successful authors here who have published with actual mainstream publishers often receive these same kind of vanity-press/scam come-ons, or are the scammers sharing/obtaining *particular* names under the thought that if they fell for it once...?
No, I seldom receive this type of spam. Most of what I receive in relation to my books are invitations to speak to a particular church group to submit a related story to a specific Catholic magazine or newspaper. This invitations usually come with an offer of fair renumeration.
So if some third party contacts you in relation to your book, keep in mind Uncle Jim's rule: Money always flows toward the author.
Uncarved
03-23-2005, 12:30 AM
we should all apply for jobs at PA.
Seriously.
I couldn't even imagine the reaction if the majority here applied stating that as writers, editors, etc... we are duly qualified.
Sheryl Nantus
03-23-2005, 12:41 AM
we should all apply for jobs at PA.
Seriously.
I couldn't even imagine the reaction if the majority here applied stating that as writers, editors, etc... we are duly qualified.
I could NOT lobotomize myself that much.
if that even makes sense.
:tongue
See, this is the perfect work ethic, which makes us eminently qualified to run the New PA -- see nothing, hear nothing, do nothing. Except, Bard, my mind is in the gutter -- I'm looking forward to interviewing the cabana boys and ... Oh, never mind. Mem's going to call me a pervert again, I just know it.:whip: PERVERT!:horse:
Ed Williams
03-23-2005, 12:48 AM
....this week is:
84 (purple in your honor, Kev)
The information brought to you by the Director of Misinformation for the New PA....
P.S. Aconite, razzirazz, and anyone else I may have missed, welcome...
Moondancer
03-23-2005, 12:48 AM
Hmm. I wonder if the following bears any relationship to the townhouse crew:
Lawsuit accuses HP of misclassifying employees as independent contractors (http://news.findlaw.com/ap/f/66/03-22-2005/aefd001415de97ba.html)
Yeah, I'd say it bears a lot of resemblance if we could just find some of those employees... er, I mean independent contractors.
Kevin Yarbrough
03-23-2005, 01:07 AM
Kelly, cut and peice another email back to them.
>>I also have the belief that my book was never read before
>>being accepted. If you declare your company a traditional
>>publisher, then every book submitted should be read before
>>being published.
**As above, your "beliefs" are simply, plainly, false.
(Then add comment by Clopper/Meiners here that PA doesn't read all of the manuscript before accepting.)
>>I believed from your web site and the material sent to me
>>that you would place my book in brick and mortar stores
**No, you could not have "believed" such a thing. No publisher guarantees
book sales to bookstores.
(Are you qualified now to tell authors what they can and can't believe? Your website said "books will be in all brick and mortar bookstores". "All" being the keyword. And yes, you may not be able to get my book into "all" bookstores, but some would would have been nice.
>>No press releases were sent out by you regarding my book as was stated.
**Yes, they were.
(Where are they? Show me if they were.)
>>To have my book in brick and mortar stores "from sea to shining sea"
>>would require bookstores to actually accept PA books on a chainwide basis.
**No, it would not. Please see our testimonials.
(So you are saying that, according to your testimonials, that books are available from sea to shining sea? From what I read on said testimonials is that you have authors in all 50 states that have been able to get their book into their local bookstores. Name one PA book that is available from sea to shining sea.)
**If you have any reasons that are not factually untrue, for your request,
please forward them to us and we will consider them at our next review meeting.
(You forgot to add "to be held at our leisure")
(But if you want to keep a book that I have no intentions on promoting, so be it. If you want to keep a book that you have gained through false and misleading facts, so be it. I'll just make sure that during the next (number of years left on contract) that my book will be another of the thousand books that did not sell a copy.)
Kevin Yarbrough
03-23-2005, 01:12 AM
Damn, Kev, you outsmarted me. :Smack:
Okay, here are my terms for not working at the new PA:
1. I want a ride on the Purple Pony (okay, guys, get your minds out of the gutter!)
2. I want an autographed picture of Jim McD. in his skivvies
3. I want some more of Christine's brownies
4. I want to know Dave's secret
Cough that up and you've got a deal. I'd be proud to not work for you. :D
Bard, I can't resist. You do know that I own the Purple Pony right? You do know that he lives with me, right? So, for you to take a ride on him I will have to be present. I can promise I won't say anything obnoxious, but I can't promise I won't have a few cameras and a camcorder on standby. And I can't say that I won't sell said things to Ed, or put them up on Ebay.
KellyS.
03-23-2005, 01:14 AM
Hey Kevin.
I did ask them about the press releases. Here's my email:
Author Support,
I would rather address someone by name, but since
you choose not to reveal one, that is all I have. I have a question.
>>No press releases were sent out by you regarding my book as was stated.
Yes, they were.
In the above, you state that press releases were sent out. Please tell me
where you sent these and when.
Thank you,
Kelly XXXXX
Here is their response:
> Ms. XXXXX,
> No, in the face of such nonsensical accusations, we will not even bother to
> defend ourselves. It is very common knowledge that we send out press
> releases for all of our authors.
>
> It is you who should be on the defensive, not PublishAmerica. Instead of
> repeating the same incoherent nonsense, the right thing to do would be to
> apologize for saying things about us that are not true. And, to make the
> issue comical, your own "evidence" shows that what you are saying is nonsense.
>
> You sent us a screen shot to back up what you are saying. The problem is,
> of course, that the screen shot backs up exactly what we are saying, and
> neatly contradicts what you are saying:
>
> "Bookstore availability is not necessarily the same as bookstore shelf
> display. For a book to be stocked by a bookstore, someone high in the
> hierarchy must decide to order it. Typically, it's not the store manager
> who makes such decisions, unless he runs an independent store. Larger
> chains such as Waldenbooks and Borders have "buyers" who select which
> titles are to be stocked. Oftentimes, they want to see some noise happening
> before they move."
>
> Your apology and acknowledgement that we treated you fairly, is expected.
> Then, at that point, you might get some better cooperation.
>
> Author Support
HERE is the link to the screenshot:
http://web.archive.org/web/20030202143011/www.publishamerica.com/faqs.htm
Haven't sent this part and won't at the moment, but it does clarify my reasoning on the screenshot:
So, since I wrote you an email with my concerns, you are going to call me incoherent and expect an apology? My screenshot backs up my case of the way you present your company. Instead of straight out saying that you will not be of any help in getting the book in stores, you say bookstore availability doesn't necessitate shelf space. I think if you are going to help "first-time" authors that you could do it in a more straightforward manner. I'm being treated as if I were the only author to ask questions. I know, for a fact, this isn't true. I've seen several emails from you to authors who've asked. They are all the same. Why not address the issues instead of trying to sweep authors under the rug? I asked about the 30, 60, 90 day policy on the message board. What did I get? I got an answer from info center calling me negative. When I went to reply, guess what? My password no longer worked
Kevin Yarbrough
03-23-2005, 01:18 AM
....this week is:
84 (purple in your honor, Kev)
The information brought to you by the Director of Misinformation for the New PA....
P.S. Aconite, razzirazz, and anyone else I may have missed, welcome...
Ed, you are fired. You stated something that was factual and worse, it could be proven to be factual. You should have said 284 books, not 84. I will expect your resignation on my shiny, clutter free desk first thing in the morning. I will also expect an apology, in writing, so as we can use on our website as we see fit.
Kevin Cloppbrough
Ceo of PublishAmigos
Kevin Yarbrough
03-23-2005, 01:24 AM
Kelly, send them an email and ask what their name is? Not the persons name, but the department they work for. When they say Author Support Team then ask how come they are not supporting you, an author? Then ask them what their job description suppose to be. Is it to answer authors qustions or not answer them? And that their refusal to show you the press release just shows that they didn't send any out. Ask them why everytime an author asks a simple question they get defensive and expect an apology? Tell them you expect and apology for being treated not like one of their happy 11,000 authors, but more like a dog that messed on the persian rug.
cwgranny
03-23-2005, 01:31 AM
Actually, there's not much point in exchanging email with PA. It's perfectly worthwhile to try to get a release -- they seem to grant them arbitrarily and you could be the lottery winner today. But once they decide to take a tone, they don't really care about anything but abusing you.
Of course you believed your books would be in bookstores -- you were supposed to believe that. It's part of the bait. Of course you believed they would send out real press releases designed to sell your book -- not the cut and paste crap they send to family and friends. You were supposed to believe in this great service they do for you. PA knows exactly what their crap causes people to believe and it's carefully worded to foster that belief as much as possible while still remaining (they hope) legal.
I'm sorry you didn't win the lottery today, Kelly. I wish every one of the sickened PA authors could get their releases. And I wish boils upon the decision-makers of PA -- boils and frogs and public flatulence that is as noisy and stinky as their business practices.
gran
Sher2
03-23-2005, 01:32 AM
:whip: PERVERT!:horse:
Why aren't you asleep yet? :wag:
Kelly, I know it's going to drive you crazy but, if I were you, I'd keep e-mailing them 'til their eyes roll back. Granted, it's an exercise in futility, but it annoys them and it makes you feel better.
CaoPaux
03-23-2005, 01:34 AM
Threads that make me go http://deephousepage.com/smilies/bangdesk.gif
http://www.publishamerica.com/cgi-bin/pamessageboard/data/general/2191.htm
http://www.publishamerica.com/cgi-bin/pamessageboard/data/lounge/8372.htm
http://www.publishamerica.com/cgi-bin/pamessageboard/data/main/11803.htm
DeePower
03-23-2005, 01:39 AM
authorsupport@publishamerica.com
support@publishamerica.com
royalties@publishamerica.com
jobs@publishamerica.com
corrections@publishamerica.com
AQ@publishamerica.com
Acquisitions@publishamerica.com
and of course
jobs@publishamerica.com
Dee
Why aren't you asleep yet? :wag:
Kelly, I know it's going to drive you crazy but, if I were you, I'd keep e-mailing them 'til their eyes roll back. Granted, it's an exercise in futility, but it annoys them and it makes you feel better.I'm trying to sleep you silly girl. You keep waking me up....give me one of those squares and I promise I'll go to bed right now! You probably took one of mine anyway!:cry:
Kevin Yarbrough
03-23-2005, 01:41 AM
I just LOVE this part.
"Your apology and acknowledgement that we treated you fairly, is expected.
> Then, at that point, you might get some better cooperation.
>
> Author Support"
So to get any kind of information you have to acknowledge that PA treats you fairly. Who the HELL do they think they are kidding?
AST: For me to do my job and answer your questions you must first say that PublishAmerica treats you fairly and apologize for thinking any bad thoughts about us. Until then, we will not give you any cooperation.
Man, just think if everybody thought like this.
lifeguard: I can't help you if you drown unless you say I am the best looking guard here.
hospital: we can't stop your heart attack unless you say we are the best hospital around.
Spouse: I can't give you sex unless you say that I'm the most sexiest person you ever seen.
Yoda: train you I can not. Unless tell me best Jedi am I.
PA is becoming a bigger joke by the day, and we aren't doing anything to show this. They are doing it all themselves.
Can you hear that? I think the water pumps went out on the pirate ship and it's taking on more water. Hope they have enough life perservers, cause the life guard won't help unless they say he is the best looking. What am I saying? They won't have enough life preservers. They didn't even have enough food for their authors. Oh, crap. It's going to be the Titanic all over again. Think maybe James Cameron will make a movie about it? There is love going on over in Poz land you know.
I'm trying to sleep you silly girl. You keep waking me up....give me one of those squares and I promise I'll go to bed right now! You probably took one of mine anyway!:cry::Clap: :banana: :hooray: :Cheers: :thankyou: I Thank you to all who contributed. I got my square.......whoohoo...boy that was the hardest begging I've ever done...my life is timed like that of a dog you know? I have finally trudged the happy road to destiny.:hi: Gotta get the brownies and tea and celebrate.
Oh poo Kelly. Tell the the three trolls to go to hell and then come and have some brownies with me:)
James D. Macdonald
03-23-2005, 01:49 AM
Threads that make me go http://deephousepage.com/smilies/bangdesk.gif
I particularly liked the advice to check with www.campusi.com to see where your book is available.
So... here's Atlanta Nights (http://www.campusi.com/price_1411622987.htm)!
Look! It's in a whole bunch of stores, in the UK and Canada as well as the good ol' USA!
Wow!
WhisperingBard
03-23-2005, 02:04 AM
Bard, I can't resist. You do know that I own the Purple Pony right? You do know that he lives with me, right? So, for you to take a ride on him I will have to be present. I can promise I won't say anything obnoxious, but I can't promise I won't have a few cameras and a camcorder on standby.
*sigh* A girl just wants to have a little innocent fun....
Okay, okay, forget the pony ride. But do I at least get the picture of Jim in his skivvies?
Kevin Yarbrough
03-23-2005, 02:09 AM
My PA book is not selling well in Japan.
Dolan, did you write it in Japanese? You know I don't know why it isn't selling well, after all, Meiners book is selling like McGriddles.
Bard, OK, have all the fun you want. I won't watch, promise. Ignore that blinking red light.
People, the best prance song ever is now up. Take a look, I expect a grammy for this one.
DeePower
03-23-2005, 02:11 AM
From the PA message board an author stated:
"I guess I understand that a little better. PA wants to see if there is truly a market for our book before they support it."
It is the publisher's responsibility to determine whether a market exists for a book, how large that market is, and how to reach it. The publisher takes the risk in that determination and does it BEFORE a contract is offered. The advance that a publisher offers is based on the potential sales of a title, and those potential sales are based in part on the market for the title. While the author can assist the publisher, the author is not responsible for the entire marketing effort.
Dee
Sher2
03-23-2005, 02:11 AM
I'm trying to sleep you silly girl. You keep waking me up....give me one of those squares and I promise I'll go to bed right now! You probably took one of mine anyway!:cry:
If you call me a thief again, Mem -- or any of the other cutsie little names you've called me today -- I'm going to send Moe-randa the worst e-mail she's ever gotten in her life and sign your name to it. Thank God, you got your box! Maybe now you can just have a nice cup of tea and a brownie and go to sleep.
That tea you sent me, by the way, sucked. It did bizarre things to my brain. I'm getting ready to write a horror novel. I'm calling it "The Resonance.";)
Kevin Yarbrough
03-23-2005, 02:17 AM
Watch the horror writer bit Sherry, my little theify poo. I'm one. Didn't you read the Purple Pony? God, that was scary. Send me some of that tea, my brain needs some bizarre. Or don't, I can just talk to Ed and get the same thing.
The Resonance would be a perfect title. Can I have it? My autobiography is now called: The Resonance: My life with the POD that ain't.
This thread has all the life of the hunk equal sugar packet thread with the topless shot of Erik Estrada. Seriously, step away from the computer.
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