Advice wanted: do you get these questions?

[JennaGlatzer]

I get a lot of e-mail from people who want me to write their life stories, and I never know how to respond, and often end up avoiding responding.

These are mostly "I overcame breast cancer," "I have an autistic son," "I survived abuse" stories that are extremely unlikely to sell to anyone at any time. I could take the cop-out approach and just tell people I'm too busy, but I feel guilty not telling them that they're off to fight a losing battle. How do you tell someone that their life story isn't interesting enough or unusual enough for publication? And that a professional writer isn't going to donate the time to write a proposal to try to sell something that's unpublishable?

I feel like a bad guy either way.

[Rolling Thunder]

I think you already have your answer, Jenna. Just tell them, as a professional writer, you can make no gaurantees any story will be published. Tell them your rates for writing, editing, etc., up front and see what they make of it. Don't be cheap either; charge plenty. If they're serious enough you should be compensated for your time. If not, they'll go elsewhere.

[WackAMole]

You seem like a tactful person, and IMO, if I asked someone if they would take on a project such as that, I would want an honest answer. You could always suggest they write their own story maybe? I dunno, thats tough, its hard when you're the kind of person who doesn't want to let other people down.

Honesty is always best. The truth hurts but its far better than wasting time on a dead project! Good luck!

[LloydBrown]

I feel like a bad guy either way.

Tell them if they weren't such ******s, it might make an interesting story.

Oh, sorry. I just watched this week's episode of House.

[expatbrat]

I think you already have your answer, Jenna. Just tell them, as a professional writer, you can make no gaurantees any story will be published. Tell them your rates for writing, editing, etc., up front and see what they make of it. Don't be cheap either; charge plenty. If they're serious enough you should be compensated for your time. If not, they'll go elsewhere.

I agree with rllgthunder - Though I do see your concerns for sending someone a fee structure for something you don’t believe you could sell.

Would it be your responsibility to shop the proposal around or would you simply write it and send it back to the “sufferer” to sell? I guess you need to decide if you see yourself as a proposal-writing-service or not.

I understand you are trying to cut back on your workload too. So perhaps my suggestion you could sell rewriting services (or a more trendy name) is not something you could be bothered getting involved with (what I mean by this is offering to fix up and humanize their attempt at writing their story – a cross between a editing and ghostwriting service).

Could you send them the maths. E.g.: fee to write the proposal, likely advance (and how that would be divided), fee to write the book, likely profit from the project?

I see how this could be a tough one. I always tell personal training clients I don’t want to take on that I can’t fit them in. No-one has ever come back and said “but you signed up Sarah on Friday after telling me on Tuesday you were too busy.” Not sure how I would deal with that if it happened?

Tough question – I take it you have one of these in your inbox right now and haven’t decided how to tell them. Good luck.

[JennaGlatzer]

I take it you have one of these in your inbox right now and haven’t decided how to tell them. Good luck.

Good guess. :D

I don't even get into fees with anyone like this, because I won't take on a project that I don't feel has solid potential, even if I'm getting paid pretty well up front. Just too much possibility of hard feelings when the person finds out the project is unpublishable (and wants someone to blame). That, and I'm not even taking on "real" assignments until after the baby is born, anyway.

So the question is more of whether to just say, "Sorry, I'm too busy" (which is true) and leave it at that, or "Sorry, I'm too busy, but I also want you to know that this is probably not going to be a story you can sell to a publisher..." along with a lesson about why memoirs are a tough sell, and what publishers are looking for, and how ghostwriting works.

I know I used to do more "teaching" about the whole process. I used to even explain about self-publishing and the pros and cons. I should have saved one of those and used it as an autoresponse! ;)

[Dawno]

You can edit your posts here and send them the link. :D

[Little Red Barn]

Jenna, I like the "sorry I'm too busy, but I also want you to know... That way they won't contact you later ( and you are just going to get busier, with the baby girl), and you have educated them as well. That way they can, maybe pursue other avenues. You're too sweet! kimmi

[expatbrat]

I'm not sure it is worth the "this story won't sell" lesson. Sometimes this is just buying yourself an arguement.

I decided long ago not to bother teaching strangers lessons. This starts with just ignoring that guy who cut you off in traffic or the person who pushed in front of you at the deli counter, and I try to extend it right through in life.

I've broken the rule and posted on a few of the health threads here and got a lot of abuse from people who have read a few articles or maybe even a whole book or two and think they know best. Sometimes I think it is just best to let people keep their illusions.

Creating the form-letter response sounds like a good solution too.

[Little Red Barn]

Expat brat, I am just thinking that if I would solicit Jenna, I would want her " sorry and this is why". Her words do not come off as mean or non-caring, but to me (my opinion only, I am a newbie) they come off as a genuine sorry but.... And I would hate to keep making the same mistake...(soliciting others)...so yes I would be diasppointed, but I think I would understand where she is coming from.

Of course Jenna, you may find you'll need a plain and simple, "sorry too busy" or 'sorry no" form letter. Anyways, :) I think that's a rather huge but annoying compliment to you! Good luck kimmi

[Sassenach]

I think the only way is to have a standard "Thank you, but I can't review your idea. If you're interested in pursuing this, the following books may be of interest:"

[Kudra]

Yeah, but if they do manage to sell it somehow, they're gonna go around on message boards saying, "and Jenna of AW said it would never sell!"

Best to be non-commital, I think. Maybe a link or something, nothing more. You're too popular and would only be inviting trouble.

[awatkins]

( and you are just going to get busier, with the baby girl)

Kimmi may have something here, Jenna. Mention that you're reducing your workload in order to devote more time to your growing family. Then sincerely wish them luck with their project. :)

[Cathy C]

How about a simple, "I'm sorry, but I've decided not to ghostwrite any more memoirs. Finding a publisher for them is just too difficult, no matter how good the story."

Since you haven't commented on THEIR life story (which they'll presume is one of the "good" ones,) but are stepping off from all memoirs, that'll probably be the end of it. And, you've informed them how difficult it is.

Just a thought. Good luck with it. I know it's hard to say no. :Hug2:

[Robert Toy]

Dear Jenna,

I would like for you to write my life story, I am hopelessly hooked on AW and have tried everything including attending AAAW meetings (a LAG subsidiary), smashing my computer, but I keeping coming back. I have also recent been experiencing nightmares where gophers are trying to take over the world and I see them everywhere. For added material, I am also a clinically certified sociopath and own a 1953 yellow Buick Special in excellent condition. I was thinking of a flashy title like HAW (Hooked on AW) with a picture of my Buick on the cover. I figured that Oprah would push the book as she like gopher story books. Look forward to your positive reply. :D

[JennaGlatzer]

Dear Robert,


I'm sorry I'm too busy, and


Oh, why would I deny myself? HAW is an obvious bestseller in the making. Let's do this!

Thanks for your advice, friends. I went ahead with an explanation that I think was gentle, explaining the steps he'd need to take (hiring a writer for a book proposal before writing the book) and why he'd need more of an angle than just his life story to have this sell to a commercial publisher. I guess I did okay, because he wrote back today to thank me for the help.

But expat and KitKat are both right about how sometimes it's inviting more trouble than it's worth... that's the same reason I stopped writing personal rejection letters when I worked as an editor, except for people who I was pretty sure could take it. I couldn't believe how often I got back arguments about how I just didn't know good writing, or failed to see the genius of their article idea.

You guys must get this kind of stuff too, though. When someone at a party asks you what you do, if you say you're a writer, don't half of them say, "Oh! I have a great story for you..."?

[Hidden Helper]

These are mostly "I overcame breast cancer," "I have an autistic son," "I survived abuse" stories that are extremely unlikely to sell to anyone at any time. I could take the cop-out approach and just tell people I'm too busy, but I feel guilty not telling them that they're off to fight a losing battle. How do you tell someone that their life story isn't interesting enough or unusual enough for publication? And that a professional writer isn't going to donate the time to write a proposal to try to sell something that's unpublishable? I feel like a bad guy either way.

I may have a different perspective on this, but if someone asked me to ghostwrite their life story, I would ask them some questions. For example, "What are your goals for this book?" If they want something to hand out to their family and friends, and something to pass down to their kids, it's their choice to pay someone to write their life story. However, if they say they hope to get a 6-figure advance from a major publisher, I'd try to gently burst their bubble. My standard answer is that memoirs are really tough to sell.

But if you wanted to take on the work (which is probably the bigger issue), if you get a clear idea of their expectations, and you think it's realistic, I don't think there's anything wrong with being paid to write a proposal. You're not promising a publishing contract, you're just writing the pitch for their book.

--Lauren

[JennaGlatzer]

Laura, you're right. Basically all of the people who've approached me, though, have made it clear in their letters that they think their books "could be a bestseller," "could help people all over the world," etc. I don't think any of them have said, "I'd like to have something to pass down to my grandchildren." I do know a couple of authors who specialize in that type of work, though. Nothing wrong with it as long as the person understands what he/she is paying for (in most cases, a book that'll be self-published and sell an average of 70 copies).

[MarkN]

How about something like...

Dear Reader,

Thank you for contacting me with your book idea. I'm flattered that you would like to entrust me with your story, but if you'll pardon me for saying so, I just don't feel like I'm the right person to take your story and turn it into the best-seller you are expecting. This is partly due to my particular interests and areas of writing expertise, and partly due to my sense of where the publishing market is right now. I could be wrong about the market for your story, but I'm certain that I'm not the right writer for this particular project.

Best of luck,

Author

[ColoradoGuy]

I could take the cop-out approach and just tell people I'm too busy, but I feel guilty not telling them that they're off to fight a losing battle.
Jenna, it seems to me saying you're too busy isn't a cop-out; it's the truth. It would also be true to tell them that, in your professional opinion, they have no chance of selling their book to a commercial publisher. Although telling them that would be good advice, and maybe even a good deed, they're not asking for your advice; they're asking you to write their book. So I would wish them well but stick to the truth--you haven't got the time.

[eldragon]

I only read non-fiction, and love to read books about people who overcame abuse, or have autistic children, or survived breast cancer.

Every story is different in some way. Maybe the breast cancer case was treated the same as thousands of others, but person who lived it had their own circumstances.

I'm usually disapointed when I pick up these types of books, because they are almost always written with a religious twist to them.

Again, I love reading books like this : but then again, I'm not your average person. I don't watch TV at all. I don't drink soda or eat packaged foods. I'm a marketing person's nightmare, because if it were up to me - nothing would sell.

[Riddler]

Dear Reader,

I would like to review you work. But unfortunately, I never learned to read.

Lots of luck,
Jenna

_______________________

But seriously, there's just not enough Jenna to go around. You would be obligated to help everybody, if anybody. I like the suggestion that you mention your full schedule. In one of the forums there are some writing-mentors /partnerships. Maybe that would be more realistic for their needs.

[Scarlett_156]

"Your story should be told, but I am not the person to help you with it right now. Here are some ideas for you." (including references)

If someone is traumatized or even worse DYING, do you want to make his ordeal more severe by rejection? Of course not. Make a list of amateur and/or professional writers who might be able to critique or work on this person's MS and send them to the writer who contacts you.

I hope this was helpful!

[Ol' Fashioned Girl]

You guys must get this kind of stuff too, though. When someone at a party asks you what you do, if you say you're a writer, don't half of them say, "Oh! I have a great story for you..."?

I've gotten it at least ten times in the last two years. All someone has to say is, "This is Jenny... she's a writer!" and here come the, "Really!? I can't write but I have this great plot idea! I know you could work wonders with it and we could split the profits!"

I finally had to come up with the standard, "No, really. X is being kind... but I bet you could develop that story if you just tried. I'm backed up, m'self. It'd be years before I could get to you. I'm really sorry."

[expatbrat]

I only read non-fiction, and love to read books about people who overcame abuse, or have autistic children, or survived breast cancer.
.

I use to only read non-fiction but realised about 3 years ago I was missing out on some fantastic novels with this approach.

Also I got sick of crying on planes, buses, trains, by the pool or at the beach, it can get pretty embarrasing.

[Bubastes]

Jenna, it seems to me saying you're too busy isn't a cop-out; it's the truth. It would also be true to tell them that, in your professional opinion, they have no chance of selling their book to a commercial publisher. Although telling them that would be good advice, and maybe even a good deed, they're not asking for your advice; they're asking you to write their book. So I would wish them well but stick to the truth--you haven't got the time.

Agreed. Or if you want to soft-step the "no" a bit, say something like "I don't have enough time to give your project the attention it deserves."

[Odile]

I think this is mixed feelings here...
Part of you is trying to continue as before, part of you is in the transition to motherhood. A stage that is completely different.

Personnaly it was a very intense period of inner change and I as a thinker had a great but difficult time going through it.

Odile

[Riddler]

"I don't have enough time to give your project the attention it deserves."

This is the perfect response, and then maybe send them to the Mentor/ Partners section of the site.

[nighttimer]

You guys must get this kind of stuff too, though. When someone at a party asks you what you do, if you say you're a writer, don't half of them say, "Oh! I have a great story for you..."?

Oh heavens yes. Write a story about some people and next thing they want you to become their press agent.

I had one lovely lady who was a Miss Wheelchair America and she participated in a marathon. Great human interest story. Wrote it for a newspaper. Next thing I know I'm getting e-mails and phone calls about every appearance she makes and every time her name is mentioned. This went on for about a year before she finally got the hint I wasn't interested in being her publicist.

I felt bad for all of 30 seconds. :Shrug:

[limitedtimeauthor]

Oh heavens yes. Write a story about some people and next thing they want you to become their press agent.

...This went on for about a year before she finally got the hint I wasn't interested in being her publicist.

Goodness sakes. Don't you know how much money publicists can make??? Cha-ching! ;) Or did she want you to write for free?

I was amazed after I had gotten my first itty-bitty article published in a wee little magazine - the first person who found out told me how they wanted to be a writer! I never knew this.

After that, like almost everybody who knew me wanted to be a writer. I was really flabbergasted and didn't know what to say. Mostly, I guess I said, "Great! You should totally do it!"

ltd.

[DeborahM]

Agreed. Or if you want to soft-step the "no" a bit, say something like "I don't have enough time to give your project the attention it deserves."

I've used that one. Then I had to become rude to a man who was dogging me to write his story, by telling him, You may be interesting, but interesting isn't enough to make a memoir sell.

I have consented to help Dee Davis, step-daughter to Cullen T. Davis of Ft. Worth, when she is ready. http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/not_guilty/t_cullen_davis/index.html


And I'm taking on a true crime as my next project from a woman who's daughter was raped and murdered AFTER I explained I had all and final say so on the project, to which she consented.

[underthecity]

I've heard "You should write a book about my life. It's interesting!" too. I don't recall what I've said to this. I think I just nod politely.

I also get "suggestions" from people who've read my first books about what they think I should write next. They're all somewhat time-consuming projects with extremely limited audiences. The suggestions are not worth my time, but I just tell them I'll think about it. I have, and I don't want to do them. I'd rather write fiction now, or broader nonfiction.

allen

[SHBueche]

I don't have a similar problem with book proposals, but I get requests all of the time about article ideas, it is tough to say "No." I typically ask them is their story idea has a unique "angle," and then often they do not follow up. People with businesses often think their product/service would be excellent for me to write about (gee, free advertising!) but there needs to be a hook, otherwise I suggest they hire a publicist.

[Georganna Hancock]

Most of the people who approach me are never heard from again, once they read my rates, if they can multiply accurately. One asked about proofreading and said, "Okay, if it's a dollar a page, then that would be ten dollars for a hundred pages, right?" Only once have I heard those golden words, "Money is no object." He has a good story, too!

[Talia]

I try to avoid telling people I'm a writer - it creates far too much trouble!!!

But as to your question Jenna, I agree with the others that say educating people is too much trouble. My suggestion would be to have a page on your website that covers off all the issues such as having a platform to sell the books, a unique twist (although everyone who has been through hardship assumes their story is unique when sadly it isn't) etc

However if I had to give a short answer my response would be...
Thank you for your interest. I usually work direct with agents and publishers who commission me to ghostwrite memoirs. My recommendation is that you read xxx [link to your page outlining the realities of getting published, criteria etc]. If you believe your story has potential I suggest you contact an agent to test interest in your concept/story. Here is a list of agents (link) that I have worked with xxx [i.e. pass the buck]
Well you get the picture. But I'd have a standard webpage with info for potential customers and a standard email with list of resources to send.

Good luck with the little screaming pooing dribbling one. Oh! I guess I'm meant to send like I like babies....

[Spirit_Fire]

"I only write erotica. Did you have a lot of sex while you had breast cancer?"

Sorry, was that bad taste? If so, don't read this post.

[Sassenach]

"I only write erotica. Did you have a lot of sex while you had breast cancer?"

Sorry, was that bad taste? If so, don't read this post.

Way beyond bad taste.

[jst5150]

"I love your idea, but in thinking it over, I may not be the best person for your story. Here is a recommendation ..."

"Unfortunately, I'm swamped with projects. I'd recommend pitching your story to a publisher to see if, first, they might buy on. Then, if I am then between projects, I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks for the opportunity. I'm humbled, really. However, at this time, between time with my family and a myriad other projects, I'm unable to take on any other writing work. I might recommend contacting on of these other publishers ..."

and, finally

"Having just tossed the chicken bones from my velvet bag and consulted my Celtic Cross tarot spread, the goddess Aphromera has spoken to me. She has said that while your plight is terrible, there is a great glass wind that shall raze humaity and lift the meek into power. She's also commanded me to begin writing in glyphs, which will, indeed, make my next romantic comedy difficult, but I'm sure there's a big market with the D&D and Warhammer crowds. Yours in blood and chicken bones, Jenna of Oakenwind."

[Gray]

Honestly most people who write their life stories do it for the form of cathartic therepy and therefor should be written first hand. Perhaps seek out some prof. help when it's done or close. But don't do it because you want to capitolize off your pain, people are a blood thirsty bunch. So unless theres lots of blood, metophoricly speaking, most people won't be interested.

It's the response I've given before and the few times I've had to use it it worked. Feel for you though, I hate telling people no.

[Sassenach]

Honestly most people who write their life stories do it for the form of cathartic therepy and therefor should be written first hand. Perhaps seek out some prof. help when it's done or close. But don't do it because you want to capitolize off your pain, people are a blood thirsty bunch. So unless theres lots of blood, metophoricly speaking, most people won't be interested.

It's the response I've given before and the few times I've had to use it it worked. Feel for you though, I hate telling people no.

If the above is any reflection, you shouldn't be editing anyone.

[Gray]

good thing I'm not an editor