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Bartholomew
10-21-2006, 07:48 AM
Dear Miss _______,

If have no intention of actually talking to me, or if you are actively avoiding me, please save us both trouble and merely decline any advances I make toward you. Start by not giving me your phone number. I do not like wasting time. Thank your for your assured future coorperation,

Yours,

Bartolo,

Professional Male

P.H.Delarran
10-21-2006, 07:51 AM
Ok Bart, you can't have my number.

billythrilly7th
10-21-2006, 07:51 AM
Dear Men,

Don't ask for our number if you're not going to call.

Yours,
All Women on planet earth

tiny
10-21-2006, 07:51 AM
Awwww, someone's had a bad day.

(We aren't all that bad you know.)

Ol' Fashioned Girl
10-21-2006, 07:58 AM
:D But some of us are worse.

TrainofThought
10-21-2006, 08:00 AM
Here's my number Bart, 867-5309.

Poor Bart!

tiny
10-21-2006, 08:02 AM
:D But some of us are worse.



shhhhhhh, don't tell them that

Jongfan
10-21-2006, 08:03 AM
Here's my number Bart, 867-5309.

Poor Bart!


watch out,,,it looks like a pity date;)

cree
10-21-2006, 08:05 AM
...I have a relevant question.....if you go on a pity date, and you end up marrying the guy....does that make it a pity marriage? Just wondering.

tiny
10-21-2006, 08:06 AM
and does it make all the activities there after pity also?

Jongfan
10-21-2006, 08:07 AM
A pity date never leads to marriage

TrainofThought
10-21-2006, 08:12 AM
But it CAN lead to a quickie.

Marriage? *ToT runs like hell*

veinglory
10-21-2006, 08:17 AM
You are planning on hitting on all women everywhere?

JDCrayne
10-21-2006, 08:19 AM
But it CAN lead to a quickie.

Marriage? *ToT runs like hell*

Are we talking nooners here, or a stand up in the office mop closet?
(And, no, Bart -- you may not have my phone number.)

cree
10-21-2006, 08:19 AM
A pity date never leads to marriage

Why didn't my mother tell me that before the wedding!!!! :)
Seriously, I met my husband on a pity date.
15 years ago.
LOL!!!

Jongfan
10-21-2006, 08:19 AM
You are planning on hitting on all women everywhere?

A very busy man indeed:roll:

cree
10-21-2006, 08:22 AM
You are planning on hitting on all women everywhere?

Good plan. Increases the odds.

TrainofThought
10-21-2006, 08:24 AM
Are we talking nooners here, or a stand up in the office mop closet? Wherever and however you want the quickie.

Jongfan
10-21-2006, 08:26 AM
Yes, pity dates ( with the exception of Cree) leads to pity sex any time of the day

writerterri
10-21-2006, 08:26 AM
I only give men my fake number. :D

tiny
10-21-2006, 08:27 AM
No one ever asked for my number. I think I scare them

TrainofThought
10-21-2006, 08:35 AM
Guys say Iím intimidating. Go figure.

BradyH1861
10-21-2006, 08:35 AM
Tiny,

What is your phone number?



(Now you can't say that! HA HA HA)


Brady

tiny
10-21-2006, 08:37 AM
Gonna arrest me?

BradyH1861
10-21-2006, 08:41 AM
Why? Have you done something wrong? :D





Someone said earlier that a pity date doesn't lead to marriage. Actually when my wife went on her first date with me, it was a pity date. We will celebrate five years of bondage.....I mean, marriage, in December.


B.

veinglory
10-21-2006, 08:42 AM
That's a *lot* of pity

tiny
10-21-2006, 08:43 AM
Hey, I'm not the one watering the trees. (meant for Brady)

BradyH1861
10-21-2006, 08:44 AM
It has been kind of dry in these parts. I pity the trees.


Brady

Jongfan
10-21-2006, 08:45 AM
Why? Have you done something wrong? :D





Someone said earlier that a pity date doesn't lead to marriage. Actually when my wife went on her first date with me, it was a pity date. We will celebrate five years of bondage.....I mean, marriage, in December.


B.

Then it wasn't a true pity date, she must have seen something she liked.

Serenity
10-21-2006, 08:46 AM
Here's my number Bart, 867-5309.

Poor Bart!

Ack... no... don't ... want ... to...

Damn, now I'm singing it. Thanks. :e2chain:

BradyH1861
10-21-2006, 08:52 AM
Then it wasn't a true pity date, she must have seen something she liked.

It wasn't looks and it sure wasn't money. So I'm not sure exactly what it was.



Brady

cree
10-21-2006, 08:54 AM
Brady, I'm relieved I'm not the only one. :)

TsukiRyoko
10-21-2006, 08:55 AM
Oh ho ho, I see. So you ARE cheating then, Bart? ;)

cree
10-21-2006, 09:00 AM
Not me! Pity ended up being a great thing. And it's always useful for a sarcastic joke aimed at the husband. 15 years, and the joke hasn't gotten old yet. For me. :)

Everyone, embrace your pity dates!! You never know what you'll find when you stop whispering to your friends what a loser he/she is. ha!

JDCrayne
10-21-2006, 09:26 AM
Why? Have you done something wrong? :D


You should at least give her a CHANCE to do something wrong; where's your sense of chivalry?

tiny
10-21-2006, 09:30 AM
You should at least give her a CHANCE to do something wrong; where's your sense of chivalry?

Yeah. Hey wait, are you trying to get me arrested?

JDCrayne
10-21-2006, 09:34 AM
Yeah. Hey wait, are you trying to get me arrested?

Only under surveilance and maybe close custody. *snicker*

Tiger
10-21-2006, 10:58 AM
and does it make all the activities there after pity also?

Activities? Ah, a pity party

Bartholomew
10-21-2006, 12:23 PM
Here's my number Bart, 867-5309.

Poor Bart!

watch out,,,it looks like a pity date

But it CAN lead to a quickie.

Marriage? *ToT runs like hell*

I really like where this is heading. :D

Bartholomew
10-21-2006, 12:27 PM
Oh ho ho, I see. So you ARE cheating then, Bart? ;)

While the Tsuki is away, the aardvark will play. ^-^

Godfather
10-21-2006, 03:31 PM
shhhhhhh, don't tell them that

and some are even worse.

tiny
10-21-2006, 08:43 PM
Quiet you.

TrainofThought
10-21-2006, 09:06 PM
I really like where this is heading. :D Keep that imagination going. ;)
We're not all that bad, Bart. You have to collect some rotten apples in order to find the best ones.

Nicholas S.H.J.M Woodhouse
10-21-2006, 09:08 PM
We're not all that bad, Bart. You have to collect some rotten apples in order to find the best ones.

amen sister. amen

Bartholomew
10-21-2006, 10:21 PM
Keep that imagination going. ;)
We're not all that bad, Bart. You have to collect some rotten apples in order to find the best ones.


<sniffle>

TrainofThought
10-21-2006, 10:30 PM
<sniffle> Don't cry Bart I'm doing you a favor (too old).

Freckles
10-21-2006, 10:53 PM
You are planning on hitting on all women everywhere?

It looks like ol' Barth's got some confidence. We love ya, Barth! And like other women said, we're not ALL bad. ;)

DeborahM
10-21-2006, 11:17 PM
I realized the other day that I must be getting old. I can remember when the men were trying to get in my pants...now it's just everyone trying to get into my pockets or purse.

Oh, well! Hey! That's cause for a pity party!

Bartholomew
10-21-2006, 11:28 PM
I only give men my fake number. :D

I loath you and all women like you.

:)

rhymegirl
10-21-2006, 11:31 PM
So what exactly do you want from women, Bartholomew?

SpookyWriter
10-21-2006, 11:55 PM
So what exactly do you want from women, Bartholomew?Respect. :roll:

TsukiRyoko
10-22-2006, 03:09 AM
Aardvarks get killed easily.

Bartholomew
10-22-2006, 05:12 AM
Aardvarks get killed easily.

<Ears Behind Head; Whimper>

So what exactly do you want from women, Bartholomew?

Well, for starters, I'd like them to actually show up when they tell me to meet them somewhere. It physically, emotionally *hurts* when you stand in the rain waiting for someone to show up. Especially when there are six different, easily accessable ways to get ahold of me and say, "Sorry, I can't come."

I'd like for women to either not give me their phone numbers unless they actually want to talk to me. I can't think of a time when a woman has given me her number and actually answered the phone. Why is it easier to say, "sure, call me," and then never, ever return my phone call? Why is it easier to give me a fake phone number? Why can't they just say, "No," --in the case of my asking, or--you know--just not spend hours flirting all over me.

I'd like for women to be honest and forthright with me. Most people have disasterous dates to talk about--I have long lists of times women have asked me out and never shown up, never called to explain themselves, and when confronted about it, averted their eyes and murmured "Sorry."

I don't really think I'm asking that much, am I? Let's sum it up:

"Don't lie."

"Do what you said you'll do."

Yeah--I think that's doable. Maybe my standards are just too high.

veinglory
10-22-2006, 05:21 AM
Hmmm, you think this is a gendered experience? Or just a human one.

Bartholomew
10-22-2006, 05:23 AM
Hmmm, you think this is a gendered experience? Or just a human one.

Common sense says Human.

Perspective says gendered.

Regardless, I'll never have to deal with men standing me up on dates, so my message remains geared toward women.

tiny
10-22-2006, 05:27 AM
Men do it too, Bartho. Don't damn a whole gender for a human trait. Your message should be to people in general. The things you described are cruel, but not gender specific.

veinglory
10-22-2006, 05:30 AM
The second I hear "why do you women..." I know a date is not going to go well. It becomes a little self-fulfilling.

kikonie
10-22-2006, 06:04 AM
Yep, the war is over before it even begins.

SpookyWriter
10-22-2006, 06:04 AM
Common sense says Human.

Perspective says gendered.

Regardless, I'll never have to deal with men standing me up on dates, so my message remains geared toward women.Maybe that's your problem. Start dating men and you won't be disappointed. :D

Serenity
10-22-2006, 06:32 AM
Bart, I am most definitely female, so let me just tell you- it's *NOT* only a 'woman' thing.

I've been stood up- very publicly I might add. Public in the way of he told all of his friends and some of mine (who were no longer friends after that day) that he was going to do it.

I've been stood up privately too. Made plans to meet this guy I really liked between our classes so we could go to lunch. I stood in the middle of the Grove (a kind of central park place in the middle of the Campus I attended where just about everyone walks) for about 45 minutes. (Yes, I was an idiot for waiting that long. Silly me, I thought he'd show.)

When I saw one of his friends, he told me that the guy had decided to skip class that day and was at their apartment. I could go over if I liked. I did (Yes, also stupidly) and was pretty much ignored for another 1/2 hour while he talked on the phone with someone, chatted with his roommate then decided he really wanted to take a shower. Me: "Well, are you still hungry? I haven't eaten yet, and I can meet you there." Him (shrugging): "I had lunch about an hour ago. But you can go if you want."

Yeah, class act that guy. And he had the nerve to ask me later why I was avoiding him.

Also have given *MY* phone number to a guy recently who asked if I'd like to have dinner sometime. I said 'sure'. Waited a week then left a message just to say 'hi' and wonder if he was available on such and such a day. He hadn't made the first move, so why not me? No reply. Nothing. I invited him two weeks after that to a fourth of July thing that a bunch of us who used to work together were having. Nada, zip, zilch. Still haven't heard back from him. And I refuse to call a third time.

If your standards are high, then so are mine. I'm not saying that womone don't do these things. They do. But men can be just as ignorant and hurtful as any woman out there. And you'll never convince me otherwise.

**stepping down of the soap box now.

TsukiRyoko
10-22-2006, 08:08 AM
Men and women alike can be hutful, but that doesn't mean that they have to hurt worse than you. Whenever I'm stood up, I track that person down, ask the "Why weren't you there, tell me the truth" deal, then kick their asses very thoroughly. I have a pretty well-known reputation when it comes to dating, so they know not to lie to me when I ask them for a date/vice versa. Now that I've put most of my dating on a hold, I get asked out a lot, surprisingly.

...Perhaps they like the asswhopping?

rhymegirl
10-22-2006, 09:16 AM
I don't really think I'm asking that much, am I? Let's sum it up:

"Don't lie."

"Do what you said you'll do."

I think what you're asking for sounds very reasonable.

It's unfortunate, but I think both men and women are guilty of these things--lying and not doing what they say they'll do.

I think sometimes a woman will give a guy her phone number because she doesn't want to hurt his feelings by saying no, I'm not interested. Then maybe she figures he might not even call anyways. Then if he does, and she really isn't that interested she might lie because again, she doesn't know how to say she's not interested.

I think men do the same type of thing when they have a woman's phone number and say they'll call, but they don't. The guy isn't all that interested and doesn't know how to say, "I'm just not that interested." So he figures he just won't call at all and then he doesn't have to explain anything.

Where are you meeting these women to begin with? If it's at a bar, that's your first problem.

TrainofThought
10-22-2006, 11:12 AM
Well, for starters, I'd like them to actually show up when they tell me to meet them somewhere. It physically, emotionally *hurts* when you stand in the rain waiting for someone to show up.This didn't happen to me, but that is crappy. No one should do that to someone. Sorry you have to deal with this Bart.
I'd like for women to either not give me their phone numbers unless they actually want to talk to me. Like rhymegirl says, people give their numbers out because they don’t want to hurt the person’s feelings. It is harder to reject face-to-face then to ignore phone calls.
I have long lists of times women have asked me out and never shown up, never called to explain themselves, and when confronted about it, averted their eyes and murmured "Sorry." I can’t believe someone would ask you out and not show up. There are good women out there Bart they are just harder to find. One day it will happen. Who knows, you might be reaching for the same tomato at the grocery store, look into each other’s eyes and BAM all the others disappear from memory.

Men and women haven’t mastered the uneasiness of rejection and rejecting. However, with age it’s easier to sift through the bad, and you have a clearer picture of what you want. Cheer up Bart.

Nicholas S.H.J.M Woodhouse
10-22-2006, 04:54 PM
[quote=Bartholomew]
Why is it easier to give me a fake phone number?
quote]

Bartholomew, last winter i was working on a bar. my back turned to the customers, reaching for some creme de menthe and then i hear this 'oiii you! without the hair!'. i'm thinking someone is about to kill me so i might as well turn and give them my best 'sorry' face, but when i turn all i see is a woman slap a card on the bar and shout 'call me!' on her way out. so a few days later i call.
'hi'
'hi'
'who is this?'
'this is the bartender without the hair at tantra'
'what?'
'tantra, nottingham'
'errrr'
'who is this?'
'i'm dave. dave in edinburgh'
'well this is odd'
'yep'
'so, got any plans for friday night dave?'

It is an odd, odd world.

K1P1
10-22-2006, 06:30 PM
How disappointing. I though the title was:

Massage to all women....

Bartholomew
10-22-2006, 07:02 PM
Where are you meeting these women to begin with? If it's at a bar, that's your first problem.

I don't go to bars. I meet these girls on campus. :\

TeddyG
10-22-2006, 07:04 PM
How disappointing. I though the title was:

Massage to all women....

I knew Mags would come around sooner or later....
Massage table is empty Mags...Hop On! :D

veinglory
10-22-2006, 08:53 PM
Giving a phone number is non-confrontational. Refusing to give one one resulted in a guy following me down to the parking garage and shouting homophobic abuse. It only takes one of those experience to make one inclined to avoid the honesty moment. I generally do it by refusing, but lying about already having a boyfriend.

Bartholomew
10-22-2006, 11:38 PM
Giving a phone number is non-confrontational. Refusing to give one one resulted in a guy following me down to the parking garage and shouting homophobic abuse. It only takes one of those experience to make one inclined to avoid the honesty moment. I generally do it by refusing, but lying about already having a boyfriend.

The second I hear "why do you men..." I know a date is not going to go well.

It becomes a little self-fulfilling.

;)

veinglory
10-22-2006, 11:40 PM
I didn't at any point imply he was typical or use his behaviour to chastise all men. I was making a comment about why absolute honesty can be a problematical strategy--just like absolute credulity.

"I'm not giving you my number"=often a bad idea leading having to explain why (i.e you are ugly and your mother dresses you funny)
"he/she likes me because he/she gave me a phone number"=equally bad idea.

The crucial difference is that I gave a specific anecdote about one man and one woman to illustrate a point relevant to both, not a criticism of "all" men or women. I also gave a constructive, *safe* solution, the ego-saving lie that doesn't lead anyone on.

Lyra Jean
10-22-2006, 11:44 PM
I've lied about having a boyfriend. Now I just tell them I want to get married. Guys stopped asking me out. The 'M-word' gets them everytime.

Bartholomew
10-22-2006, 11:51 PM
I didn't at any point imply he was typical or use his behaviour to chastise all men. I was making a comment about why absolute honesty can be a problematical strategy--just like absolute credulity.

"I'm not giving you my number"=often a bad idea leading having to explain why (i.e you are ugly and your mother dresses you funny)
"he/she likes me because he/she gave me a phone number"=equally bad idea.

If you avoid being honest because you think a man might follow you to your car screaming blasphemies at you, one must assume it is because you think this of men.

In your scenario one person stepped sorely out of line. That sucks, if it really happened. But thats one person.

What I'm complaining about is an active trend. When I tried to tally the number of times I've been lied to--INITIALLY--by women (who left me standing, waiting for them in the rain, never given me a call back when they gave me their number in the first place, etc--the actual number boggled my mind.

You have one, if I'm not misunderstanding you, hypothetical case.

I have a number that is now a little over 100.

I'm not sure I'm the one generalizing here.

"he/she likes me because he/she gave me a phone number"=equally bad idea.

Sure, but I'm going to assume that, if they give me their phone number, that they have some reason for doing so and that they would like to talk to me.

And if the behavior I'm complaining about is some false premise that I'm applying to women unfairly, why do you seem to be defending it?

Edit-

AUGH! STOP EDITING! CAN'T. KEEP. UP. O_O

veinglory
10-22-2006, 11:56 PM
I know there are good men (many) and bad men (a few)--I am cautious with all strangers, including men, in the beginning because assuming the best can get you beaten or raped. And because the good ones will take a polite lie in their step, knowing it for what it is and understanding my reasons. You leap from my cautious actions to my alleged blanket dislike of men without really thinking about the risks of lone women speaking to men who are coming onto them. Think about it.

I think trying to make a romantic connection out in a public space is a low success strategy anyway. It does happen but there are risks for all players. Most of my guys met me through mutual interests or mutual friends. Perhaps the couples here can say how they met?

Bartholomew
10-23-2006, 12:08 AM
I know there are good men (many) and bad men (a few)--I am cautious with all strangers, including men, in the beginning because assuming the best can get you beaten or raped. And because the good ones will take a polite lie in there step, knowing it for what it is and understanding my reasons.

If someone is going to beat and rape you, they're going to do it whether or not you give them your phone number. You're making a disgusting assumption about men right off the bat.

"The Good Ones" --and I know I'm being an egotistical snot by assuming I fall into this catagory, since, uh, the other catagory appears to be hardened criminals and rapists-- don't take this 'in step.' I hate it and I know I'm not the only one. There are TWO really USEFUL blanket responses women COULD use, "Sure, could be fun," and "Naw, got better things to do."

You leap from my cautious actions to my alleged blanket dislike of men without really thinking about the risks of lone women speaking to men who are coming onto them. Think about it.

I think trying to make a romantic connection out in a public space is a low success strategy anyway. It does happen but there are risks for all players. Most of my guys met me through mutual interests or mutual friends. Perhaps the couples here can say how they met?


I'm also leaping to keep up with your rapid edits.

Why does being caution have to be synonimous with acting like a prick? If someone tells me they're going to do something, and they don't, I pretty much write them off as a jerk. Uh. Because they are.

If, instead, said person says, "I don't really want to," or "I don't have time," or anything along those lines---how does this endanger them?

What do you mean, "In Public?" O.o Where... where else do you meet people?

There's Public, and then there's... um... not public. Am I missing something?

veinglory
10-23-2006, 12:10 AM
As for your sheer number of bad numbers. That it high, time to change where you go or how you approach? I generally go for clubs, classes and social events. Keep an eye in the guy for a while, talk to mutal friends and feel things out. By the time somebody asks somebody (about 50% on who does it) we know there is interest. Both my male and female friends seem to hate the rejection event and sometimes avoid it when they shouldn't. A bit of prior dancing around and involving firends can make sure the interest is mutual. It's also kind of exciting while still safe. Even with a guy I don't know well I like to talk to his friends and met him several times before swapping any info, even surnames.

Tiger
10-23-2006, 12:12 AM
Safe to say men and women are both from Earth

Bartholomew
10-23-2006, 12:15 AM
Safe to say men and women are both from Earth

Really? I'm Jovian.

veinglory
10-23-2006, 12:17 AM
You aren't getting my POV at all from the assumptions you make. For a start you just inverted my point, made an irrational leap, atrributed the things about my reasons from your assumptions--then called them "digusting". I am now uncomfortable just being in this thread and will not be returning to it. And prior to this I felt quite positively about your online persona. Food for thought, perhaps (or perhaps not)

I said that *refusing* to give a number if a guys asks for it can piss guys off. The "good guy" solution is to wait for the number to be offered or suggest you "meet up again sometime" and let the girl choose how this happens--a meeting time and place, taking your number or giving hers. You can;t control how a girl (or guy) responds, so giving them the most freedom in chosing their response results in the most honesty.

Bartholomew
10-23-2006, 12:19 AM
As for your sheer number of bad numbers. That it high, time to change where you go or how you approach? I generally go for clubs, classes and social events. Keep an eye in the guy for a while, talk to mutal friends and feel things out. By the time somebody asks somebody (about 50% on who does it) we know there is interest. Both my male and female friends seem to hate the rejection event and sometimes avoid it when they shouldn't. A bit of prior dancing around and involving firends can make sure the interest is mutual. It's also kind of exciting while still safe. Even with a guy I don't know well I like to talk to his friends and met him several times before swapping any info, even surnames.

I'm certainly not going to stop being on campus merely because a disproportionate number of women there are jerks. I kind of need to be there, unless I want to drive home after every single class.

Clubs-- Dancing and Booze, yes? I don't drink and I'm a crappy dancer.

Social Events-- Like the KC Chorale Concert I went to yesterday?

Classes-- pretty much where I've been getting all the bad apples as it is.

Maybe I have some sort of polar-reversed karma. Maybe I'd have a higher success rate asking a woman out while I'm in the middle of robbing her house.

:Shrug:


The "good guy" solution is to wait for the number to be offered or suggest you "meet up again sometime" and let the girl choose how this happens--a meeting time and place, taking your number or giving hers.

Tiger
10-23-2006, 12:36 AM
Really? I'm Jovian.

Say 'hi' to Bon for me...

cree
10-23-2006, 08:16 PM
I have to defend veinglory's position here.
One bad experience is definitely enough to remind a person: Protect yourself.

It's not a man/woman/gay thing..but the latter two categories have more societal data supporting the reason WHY they should be cautious. Safety.

It's also not a "every man is out for evil" thing. It's purely a "I need more info before I let you into my personal life" thing.

Which brings me to a point -- maybe you're asking for numbers prematurely? Let things evolve to at least a few random meetings with a girl before throwing out a casual - "hey, we should really meet up somewhere, sometime..."

tiny
10-23-2006, 08:25 PM
Not to be confrontational, and I'm not speaking personally of anyone here, but I've found that if I have a problem with everyone, usually it's me.

C.bronco
10-23-2006, 08:35 PM
I only give men my fake number. :D

And I only give fake men my real number.

DeborahM
10-23-2006, 10:07 PM
Bart -

Did you ever think it might just be the age group you are asking?

Or the one's you pick or are drawn to are of a superficial type?

PeeDee
10-23-2006, 10:21 PM
As with all manly-womanly issues, I completely avoid this problem by having been happily married for a few years now. It's amazing how much easier it makes life.

(how did she and I meet? A movie night. Someone gave me a box of milk duds. I do not like milk duds, so I threw the box onto the empty chair next to me, striking my future wife in the forehead. So cheer up.)

Jaycinth
10-24-2006, 12:00 AM
I only give men my fake number. :D

I'll give men my number...but they have to arm wrestle me for it first. And I cheat.

TeddyG
10-24-2006, 12:43 AM
I'll give men my number...but they have to arm wrestle me for it first. And I cheat.

That is okay. Some of us may think those odds are pretty good considering the possibility of your number....:D

JDCrayne
10-24-2006, 03:53 AM
I am reminded of an Israeli woman I once knew, years ago, who pointed out that Americans say they will phone, or agree that they should get together with someone, but never actually do it. She came to the conclusion that Americans (not just American girls) do that because they're not really interested, but don't want to hurt anyone's feelings either.

JDCrayne
10-24-2006, 03:59 AM
Whenever I'm stood up, I track that person down, ask the "Why weren't you there, tell me the truth" deal, then kick their asses very thoroughly. I have a pretty well-known reputation when it comes to dating, so they know not to lie to me when I ask them for a date/vice versa. Now that I've put most of my dating on a hold, I get asked out a lot, surprisingly.

...Perhaps they like the asswhopping?

Hmm. Maybe you should invest in some black leather, very high heels, and a riding crop. There could be a lucrative career ahead of you.