Show vs. tell

Jack stamped his foot on ground, tore the wedding band off his finger and threw it at Renee as he walked out the door, leaving her there in tears.

Mark was waiting for the bus when Joanne walked over and sat beside him, smiling and flirting.

Mark looked at his watch. Where was the damn bus? He looked up to see Joanne walking over. She practically sat down in his lap.
"Hey, there," she cooed. "Do you need somewhere to go?"

Sarah was jealous of her sister's boyfriend, who treated her like a little kid.

Sitting at the bar, Frank glanced at himself in the dusty mirror and then at his watch. It was well after three. Carol was home waiting and worrying. He knew she wouldn't sleep. Tossing back his scotch and soda, he jiggled his glass for the bartender to refill it.

"It's after three, Mr. Jackson, don't you think you should be heading home to the little woman?" the bartender said, wiping a glass with a bar towel.

Frank shrugged. "You know, it's a funny thing, Joe, you must have read my mind. I was just thinking the same thing. Only I decided I shouldn't be heading home to her. What does Carol want with a punk like me? Look at me -- nothing but a lousy stinking drunk. Nah, Joe, it's over. I'm gonna have a lawyer contact her tomorrow and give her a divorce. She can do better than me. She deserves it. I'm no good for her. I'm no good for anyone!"

He finished his drink and threw a few crumpled bills onto the bar before heading out into the night, not really sure where he was going. But one thing was for sure--it wouldnt be home.



Jackie did everything she could to please her fussy boss, but he was never satisfied.

Don shook coffee off the legal briefs he had been reading, showering droplets of the black liquid over the tidy desk and his suit.
“Goddamn it! Jackie, bring me some paper towels!”
Jackie sighed, “****, like I really need this every single day. Hope this is the worst of his problems this morning.”
She grabbed the roll of towels out from under her desk and strode into his office, a false smile on her face.
"Here you are, Mr. Keefer."
"About time!" he replied, snatching the roll from her hand. "I could have cleaned this mess up twice already! I'm beginning to wonder why I even keep you on. Now, go get me something to calm my nerves."
Jackie walked to her desk outside the door, opened her pocketbook and pulled out a shiny revolver.
"This should work," she muttered.

Bob didn't like cats.

There it was, that vile, creepy, creature, ready to claw him to shreds, or so he thought. The cat stalked over and Bob felt shivers run down his spine. Slowly, he backed away, running right into the counter. The cat came closer and closer. Bob grabbed onto the counter and held his breath. It'll be okay, he thought. It'll be okay. Then it happened. The cat was only an inch away from him and brushed against Bob's leg. He let out a blood curling shriek.

Kate and Yolanda had a cat fight over the guy they both liked, Jonah.

Yolanda looked in the mirror and realized it was in fact her blood that had trickled across the carpet and not Kate's.

Damnit. She dampened a wad of toilet paper and brought it to her throbbing cheek, streaked with three red and jagged gashes. Damn *itch got her nails done. To hit up on Jonah, no doubt. Jonah had always complimented Yolanda on her delicate, feminine hands and she had no doubt he had fed the same line to Kate.




Sharon chose Maria over Marcus.

"Okay, Sharon. Maria or Marcus. Which?"
"Can't I have both?"
"Nope."
She hesitated, but only for a moment. "Sorry, Marcus."


It was very cold and Robert was freezing.

Robert's skin felt as if it was tightening, then fraying. "S-s-s-s-ooooo....." Was that his voice? This weakened whimper? He felt his muscles convulse with activity, trying desperately too generate energy and heat, to push his blood through his body. Then he began to feel nothing. "Please." he tried. His lips would no longer move.



Justin thought he was the best in the class. The other students convinced him otherwise.

Justin waved his marked paper. "Wow! I got eighty per cent. Told you I was the best."

Peter snatched it out of John's hand.

John stood, face reddening. "Give it back."

"Eight! Eight per cent, you dumbo."


The rain was falling hard. Arthur could feel it hitting his head. He looked up and saw the lightning. Then he heard the thunder and knew he should seek shelter. The rain began to fall harder and he felt the wind blowing on his face. He saw a shed with its door open and thought he would get shelter there.

Rain lashed against Arthur's face and head without mercy, tortuing him. As he looked up, a brilliant flash illuminated the sky, followed by a monstrous thunder that made the earth shake. The rain began falling harder; Arthur could feel the pain of every individual drop hitting him, pushed by the strong wind so they'd hit him harder.

In the distance, Arthur heard a banging noise. A shed, with its door opening and closing in the wind, rocking back and forth, threatening to fall down at any moment. No other building could be seen, so Arthut made a dash for it.



Timmy was happy, but Linda always made him feel like a jerk.

A grin spread across Timmy's boyish face. He looked just like a child as he jumped up and down in glee. He clapped his hands together repeatedly, singing to himself. Yay! What a wonderful day, Timmy thought.

Linda burst through the door and once seeing Timmy, her nose crinkled and she clutched her stomach. Muttering under her breath about how selfish Timmy is, she marches past him, stopping only to shove him out of the way. Linda reaches the other door and before she steps out, says, "You are the most selfish man I've ever met! You dumped Stacy for Larissa. What a shallow moron....shallow, shallow, moron. You sicken me!" Then, Linda went to the next room.

Timmy bit his lip. He couldn't really be as bad as she said he was. He strolled over to the mirror and looked at his reflection. Quickly, he turned away.

Harry gives Sandy, his mistress, a romantic gift, when his wife, Loi-Loi, discovers them.

Sandy opened the box and gasped. The diamond tennis bracelet inside was practically blinding. She threw her arms around Harry and covered him with kisses.

"It's beautiful, Harry! Oh my God! I never expected anything like this! I mean, it's only our six month anniversary, that's all!" She pulled away from him and slumped onto the couch in tears.

"What's wrong, baby? I thought you would like it. I can take it back if you want me to."

Sandy wiped the tears from her eyes. "It isnt that, Harry. It's just that ... well I can never give you anything personal like that ... You couldnt suddenly show up at home with things like ... you know, gifts from me ... We can't risk getting caught. Loi-Loi is a friend of mine, after all. I love you, but I mean it when I say I don't want to do anything to hurt her."

Harry curled up beside her. "I know, Sandy. You have a wonderful heart. You really do care, I know you do."

On the street below the apartment, a car drove slowly down the street and stopped in front of Harry's car. Behind the wheel, Loi-Loi's best friend Andrea called out. "There it is! You were right. That's Harry's car. He must be upstairs with Sandy."

Loi-Loi nodded. "That b!tch. I knew it! Well, two can play this game, Andrea." She opened her purse and took out an extra set of keys, jingling them in front of Andrea.

"Oh my God, you wouldnt!"

Loi-Loi grinned evilly. "You bet your a$$ I would." She slid out of Andrea's car and quickly unlocked the door of Harry's car. Slipping into the driver's seat, she started the car and threw it into gear. "See you at home, Andrea. Harry is gonna blow a gasket when he finds out his car is gone. But that ain't nothing compared to what he is gonna feel when the divorce papers arrive."

Laughing, Loi-Loi drove away.

(A true story - page from my mother's life -- yes she really did it.)

Jack didnt know how to tell his parents that on his first day driving alone, he got into an accident.

Jack peered round the lounge door, plucked up courage, and entered.

Pa glanced up from the newspaper. “Hi, son. How’s things?”

“So so.” Jack bit his lip. “You’re not going to like this, Pa.”

Dad lowered the paper. “Hmm. Try me. What’s the problem?”

Jack tried to look sheepish while he held up the car keys and shook them.

“You want to borrow the car?”

“I already did.”

Pa shook his head and held out his hand. “Thanks. So you nicked it.” He hesitated then laughed. “I did the same if I remember. Jeez, I was young once, too. Okay, forget it. But in future ask, or at least tell me before you go. Just in case your mum or I need it. You lock the garage?”

“Y-yes.”

Pa half-closed one eye. “What’s with the y-yes?”

“The car isn’t in the garage.”

The newspaper rustled as Pa carefully folded it. “Go on.”

“It wasn’t my fault. The other car was parked squint—”

“Who was in the other car?”

“Nobody. But the road was wet and the corner was slippery—"

Pa raised a hand. “Hold it. Hold it right there." He gazed into space for a moment before continuing. "You nicked my car. You pranged somebody else’s. And, of course, it wasn’t your fault. Son, the first car I trashed was my dad’s. Speeding. Trying to be smart and outrun the cops who spotted me speeding. I got away. But out of their sight I overshot a corner and hit a parked car. Not a mile from here. It was empty, thank God. My dad came and collected me from the owner’s house. Know what he said to me?”

"No. What?"

“He said ‘To hell with the car. Main thing is you're unhurt.’ Then he said ‘I’ll support you, but you’ll get no sympathy. Just remember, next time there may be somebody in the car you just hit. And that’s manslaughter. And your life up the creek.’” Pa laid the keys on the arm of the chair. “That’s all he said about it. Now, what happened, son?”

Jack swallowed. “I was driving too fast and lost control and hit Mr Fraser’s car. Outside number twenty-seven. Car’s still there. I couldn’t start it.”

Pa nodded, then stood. “That’s tough, son. It’s also life. Let me grab my coat and we’ll take a stroll down and see what’s up. Mr Fraser probably wants to talk to you. Ready?”

Jack’s shoulders noticeably straightened. “Yes. Thanks, Pa.”

The tunnel looked dark. It seemed empty. It was cold and wet but Carl hoped it wasn't too long. It wasn't. It was creepy. Carl was glad to see the light at the end.

No 'was', 'looked', 'heard', 'felt', 'touched' 'saw', 'thought' 'smelled' or '-ing', please.

WOW THAT WAS EXTRA HARD!!

As he walked through the tunnel, Carl tried hard to adjust his eyes to the darkness. It seemed empty, but in Central Park you can never tell when a homeless person might jump out at you. And homeless people were the best possible scenario. People got murdered in Central Park at night. Carl closed his eyes and focused on getting to the other side - one step at a time. 'Breathe, Carl, breathe," he told himself as he tugged his light jacket around his shoulders and shivered. After what seemed like hours, he could see the other side. His pace picked up as he ran toward it. New to the city, Carl learned a valuable lesson. Never walk in Central Park alone after dark.

Jodi decided to cook an impressive dinner for her date, John, but she wasnt a very good cook and everything that could go wrong did go wrong.

no fair! i was second, but i'm not changing mine. skip me and keep going.

Shadows cascaded from the walls of the tunnel. Carl trembled before he stepped into the vast, empty darkness. A few more steps, that's all it takes. Each step takes me closer to -- What the hell made him want to reach the end of the tunnel? Darkness. That's it. That's the only discovery here, Carl. You're stupid to have even taken a step into this damn thing. A cobweb brushed Carl's face and he ran. He ran like he detected light at the end. His legs pounded against the muddy ground. And then he saw it -- a faint glimmer of hope, faded, yellow light off in the distance. His heart raced and he caught his second wind. I hope this tunnel isn't too long - I don't know how long the second wind will stay with me... The light streamed in through a hole in the crumbly wall. Carl clawed at the hole until he burst through, head first. Wind ripped at his body and he fell farther and farther down to the busy highway. Carl tilted his head down and saw the semi's that raced along the highway. Oh, ****.

Lily, Kyra's only dog, is being put down and she's sad. ;D
dancingandflying.

We double posted - so why doesnt the next person choose from the two new "tell"s?? Your choice...

sounds great. the next to post chooses whoever's "tell", they want to "show".
dancingandflying.

persiphone_hellecat said:

Jodi decided to cook an impressive dinner for her date, John, but she wasnt a very good cook and everything that could go wrong did go wrong.

Click to expand...

"Damn it!" The alarm shrieked in the kitchen, and Jodi raced down the hall just as the first wisps of black smoke crept from the oven.

She swore colorfully, and kicked a cabinet hard. It just figured. John would be home from his business trip any minute, and so far she had dropped the wine bottle and put salt instead of sugar in the banana pudding. Now a giant chunk of cow was smoldering in the pan Grandma Mazursky had given her as a housewarming gift.

Jodi pulled the scorched pan from the oven and dropped it in the sink. She flung the freezer open and yanked out a boxed lasagna. After ripping the package open she stuck it in the microwave. "Okay, there's absolutely no way I can screw this up," she muttered.

As usual, Jodi was wrong.
****************************************************

Lady Emma was haughty, and everyone at the ball knew it.

Lady Emma strutted into the grand ballroom, her nose sticking in the air. She made her way toward one of the plush seats and snapped her fingers. A snivelling servant came to her side immediately.

"Do you know that I am a guest of honor?"

The servant nodded their head.

"And nobody greeted me at the door with hourderves, like I requested, did they?"

The servant bit his lip. "I can go get you-"

"Excuse, excuses! I am thoroughly unimpressed with you and you can be sure I'll be telling Lady Katrina that. She values my opinion, greatly."

The servant nodded, and Lady Emma dismissed her with the wave of the hand. When the servant didn't rush off immediately, Lady Emma gave her an icy glare. Then, she sighed. She supposed she'd have to make the rounds. What lame party, filled with a bunch of ingrates! I doubt the nobility of anyone that's friends with that hussy, Lady Katrina. I can't believe I came to this, Emma thought.

She made her way around the ballroom at a brisk pace. Lady Emma made eye contact with only a few people, but would instantly look away. Too lowly and not worth her time. When people were in her way, she didn't say excuse me. She walked right through them, pushing them to the side. How dare they get in her way!

"Someone has a stick up her butt," Lady Katrina whispered to her friend and servant, Carley.

"She thinks she's better than everyone, doesn't she?"

Lady Katrina nodded. "Why did I have to invite her?"


Sally stuck her tongue out and her husband, Pat, was offended.

If there was one thing Sally hated, it was having to entertain Pat's boring boss and his boring wife. This night was no different. Mr. and Mrs. Travers sat at the dining room table rambling on and on. Mrs. Travers was driving a new Lexus. Mr. Travers had a new SUV. They were still tanned from their recent vacation in the Caymans. Mr. Travers just got a promotion. He celebrated by buying his wife a new Rolex. Their two children were both in Ivy League schools, at the top of their classes. Was there nothing these people didn't have that was bigger and better than everyone else?

Sally couldnt have been happier when the salad course was finished and it was time to bring the pot roast to the table. Of course, Mrs. Travers would have some kind of story about how her recipe was better, but at least Sally would get a moment of peace and quiet in the kitchen. She rose from the table and excused herself.

Pat smiled proudly. "Sally's pot roast is great! She uses her mother's recipe. It's one of my favorites."

As Sally walked to the kitchen, full of confidence in her dinner, she heard Mrs. Travers whisper to Mr. Travers behind her back. "I know, dear, you had pot roast for lunch. Let's try to make the best of it, anyway."

Enraged and insulted, Sally quickly stuck out her tongue out of their view as she pushed the kitchen door open. She stood in the kitchen, fighting off the urge to walk back out there and tell them both off.

Suddenly the door swung open and Pat was standing there. "I saw that, Sally. What did you think you were doing? That's my BOSS out there, Sally! What if they saw?"

Sally shrugged. "Pat, every time they come here they insult us. Nothing we do is ever good enough for them. Everything they have is better than ours. They deserved it, Pat!"

He stood with his arms folded across his chest, staring at her sternly. "Young lady, if you choose to act like a child, you will be treated like one. As soon as they're gone, I'm going to turn you over my knee and spank you!"

Sally giggled and stuck her tongue out again. "Promises, promises."

*****

Mike really liked this girl Maggie who worked in his office. One day, he got up the nerve to ask her out.

Mike wrung his cold, sweaty hands and took in a big breath as if this were the interview of a life time, then willed his legs to move as they wiggled beneath him like jello. Fears of rejection played in his mind as her cubical came into his view and the smell of Jasmine lingered in the air.

Mike had smelled that same fragrance for 3 months when Maggie would whisk by his cubical on the way to Carrigan's office. He stopped her a few times to chat about business matters, but nothing personal, ever, though he was dieing to but couldn't come up with anything to say at the spur of the moment. He thought about asking her out to lunch last week, but lost the nerve at the last minute. This time he had actually reached her cubical and knocked on the wall.

"Maggie?" he said, peeking his head into her station.

Immediately his lungs deflated when he realized she wasn't there, but sitting on her desk next to a small plant was a picture of her and another guy encased in a plastic stand up frame. The light from the ceiling reflected off of it in such a way that he couldn't get a good enough look. He glanced behind him to make sure no one was looking and reached in swooping the picture off the desk. It was her and a man that Mike hoped was her brother and they were at a restaurant holding up margaritas, her smile as bright as the tiny pink umbrella which rested on the rim of her frosty beverage.

For a moment he imagined he was the guy in the picture and thought about how much fun they'd had that night laughing and talking, holding hands, exchanging glances and their first kiss.

"Excuse me?" came a voice from behind him. "Can I help you?"

"Oh! Um," was the only phrase that fell out of his frozen mouth. "I'm..."

"Mike?" Maggie said, holding her hand out for the picture he had stuffed behind his back.

"Huh?"

"Your name, Mike? Can I have that picture of my cousin back?"

"Oh, yes, sure, here. That's your cousin! he said, relieved yet, feeling stupid.

Maggie nodded her head then took the picture and placed it back on her desk and turned to face him. She relaxed her shoulders and softened her eyes realizing he felt embarrassed. "Did you need something?"

"No, I was just... well, yes, do you want to go to lunch with me?

**************************************************

Okay, this is my first attempt at something like this under the pretenses of something I just learned. How'd I do? How about a crit, Ray (anyone). Please!

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The tree was planted in shallow soil and when the wind came it blew away.