My Christmas tree fell on the floor
and snow has blown in the front door
then a reindeer came in
with a turkey flamin'
I have lost my mind-- that's for sure.
I hate all the holidays crowds!
and the Christmas songs blaring so loud
I could say Bah-Humbug,
flee the country with Doug,
to where there's no snow to be plowed
My wife has been hinting for bling, bling,
But I'm doing twenty in Sing-Sing,
So if rare rocks she craves
Zero is what I've saved--
Guess on Christmas her eyes won't be twinkling.
Poor old Santa is sick with the flu,
and it's possible Rudolph is too,
The elves are all sneezing
the weather is freezing,
so there's no Christmas this year for YOU!
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