Is it generally frowned upon..

[ElizabethCollins]

I'm a newbie here, and would like to know how others have handled similar issues. Many of the books I have read, say that our experiences can provide a lot of inspiration in our writing.

Everyone has sadness in their life - my own is no different. Is it wrong to take pieces of the things that have happened to you in your life or that have happened to people you love - specific things based loosly on people you know, then twist them completely to serve the story that you are writing. My intention is not to tell their story - only to set the scene with this tragedy that I feel, then tell a completely different story.

A close member of my family died near Christmas 10 years ago, and in the years since his passing, his children have grown up with an alcoholic mother, and have had to deal with all sorts of tragedy. Even though it was not my immediate family, his passing impacted me greatly.

I have developed an outline that is well suited to my genre of interest - which is teen angst/drama, and generally dark. The similarities are only in the basics - two siblings that are extremely close dealing with the loss of their father and the alcoholism of their mother. In my story, one of the children goes down the wrong road in life, and it is basically about her choices and how they affected her life.

Is it morally wrong to loosly base your characters in a story with those people in our lives, or is this what everyone does? If I could make myself ok with this aspect of the story, it would make my life so much easier.

I appreciate any advice I may be given.

-Elizabeth Collins

[Cath]

It's very difficult to answer that. I'm not sure it's frowned upon as such - but I do think you need to consider very carefully the impact of your work on the family involved and on your relationship with them.

I suspect it's a very personal choice. If you can live with portraying them in this way - or if you're confident the family will not identify themselves in the characters in your novel - whatever you feel comfortable doing, do.

[MidnightMuse]

Well first of all, welcome to AW, Elizabeth :)

Secondly -- unless you're using everyone's real names, it seems to me you're simply writing a story. Everything everyone writes has happened, in part, to someone somewhere. What you're proposing to do -- write a story based somewhat on something you've experienced -- is simply called writing. You're having a story idea inspired by something you've seen, heard or felt.

That's normal.

In order to avoid doing anything you might feel is or could be frowned upon, don't use the real names of the real people.
Edited to add: I agree with Cath in that you need to take care that the people involved do not feel it's directly written about them. Make it fiction, based loosely, in another town/time/other names and you're fine.

[veinglory]

I would agree with Cath. How does the possible impact on your personal relationship balance against the benefits of telling this specific story? Would it matter much of you wrote something else now and allowed a little more time to pass (if this would distance them from that difficult time, or you from them). Nothing stops you from writing this story but only you know if it feels right.

[Robert Toy]

Welcome to AW.
I personally do not see a moral issue provided you protect the identities of the individuals involved. The fact that you are/have personally experienced some of the events could be beneficial in providing a real insight into the events. For example, a recovering alcoholic could describe the horrors of withdrawal much better than someone who has never had the problem.

[MidnightMuse]

I may have misunderstood. If you meant you want to write THEIR story, then think seriously about that decision before going ahead.

If you meant you're writing fiction, that can in no way be construed by the parties involved to be their life or a mirror of it, then by all means.

[Siddow]

We all take from our life experience. Go ahead, write the book. There's a blurb that will go on the copyright page that will say: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincindental.

Then publish under a pen name!

[ElizabethCollins]

Thank you all for the helpful comments. Midnight - in answer to your question, the story I am working on is completely fiction - names, places, etc. The only common thread is the two children, their bond through adolescence, the death of their father, and an alcoholic mother.

My own mind - being either creative or morbid depending on your viewpoint saw what happened to them, and took a hard left turn with the entire story until one of them ended up hooked up on heroin. This is not what happened to them in reality.

[Jamesaritchie]

I don't think there's any other way to write good, realistic fiction.

[LeftUnsaid]

Isn't that what most writing is? Taking reality and construing it to fit our vision of it?

[NightWynde]

I don't know if this helps but...

When my husband and I were still in the early stages of dating I told him that he would probably end up in more than one story. I went on to tell him that more than likely this character representative of him would end up dead, tortured, seriously mangled or a combination of the three. When he said, "Cool" I knew he was the one.

[Laurie]

All good advice.

All I can add is when I read your 'synopsis', it seemed to me to address themes universal enough to not be readily traceable.

Give it all a different setting, new names, switch genders, a few twists and write.

While distancing is good, it might be interesting to write it now, and then see what changes in the revision process. Sometimes writing has given me the ability to distance and new insights.

And I'll add, if writing about people you know isn't moral, I'm in big trouble.

[Mayor of Moronia]

Since most fiction is autobiographical I suppose writer's violate the canon all the time. But I do not include incidents and events where the dead cannot defend themselves against my accusations. No cheap shots.

[Jamesaritchie]

Since most fiction is autobiographical I suppose writer's violate the canon all the time. But I do not include incidents and events where the dead cannot defend themselves against my accusations. No cheap shots.

So what if the living die before they have the chance to defend themselves against your published writing?

We're talking fiction here, not nonfiction. There's no need to name names and point fingers, only the need to use real events and real emotions in a fictional manner.

[Soccer Mom]

Since most fiction is autobiographical I suppose writer's violate the canon all the time. But I do not include incidents and events where the dead cannot defend themselves against my accusations. No cheap shots.

Writing about someone isn't a cheap shot. All my characters are based in some way on real people I have met. Family members and even my pets all work their way into my stories. I don't think that is akin to making accusations. I'm not charging them with something. I'm just using some attributes of their characters to make the ones in my books more real.

[Akuma]

I was about to warn you that you might want enough time to pass from the tragedy, but it really sound like you have everything under control.
You're afraid of "cashing in on tradegy"--something we see more of nowadays, what with America's 9/11 and the war--but it really sounds like you just want to write a story and convey what you have felt.

There is nothing wrong with what you're doing--it sounds as if you have maturely assessed and handled the situation.

Oh, and by the way, welcomed to AW. :D

[virtue_summer]

Writers do this all the time. I've done it. Most things I write are initially inspired by events that I've heard about or experienced. My characters often share certain traits with people I know, but one thing that I always remember is that it's fiction. Once pen is put to paper, the story and the characters should no longer be bound by the reality that inspired them. They should grow and change into something unique, something new.