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View Full Version : What should I give my husband for his 50th birthday?


rhymegirl
07-05-2006, 11:38 PM
His birthday is next week. Should I give him a gag gift (and what kind?)
or a nice gift. (and what would that be?)

Jaycinth
07-05-2006, 11:39 PM
I suggest two red bows and a thong.

alleycat
07-05-2006, 11:39 PM
Viagra. In a two gallon bottle.

SpookyWriter
07-05-2006, 11:40 PM
I suggest two red bows and a thong.How about two red thongs and a long bow?

maestrowork
07-05-2006, 11:40 PM
50 coupons for "fun."

SpookyWriter
07-05-2006, 11:41 PM
50 coupons for "fun."What kind of coupons?

alleycat
07-05-2006, 11:41 PM
A brochure on preplanning one's funeral?

SpookyWriter
07-05-2006, 11:43 PM
A brochure on preplanning one's funeral?How about the other one? Isn't it better to die as a two'es?

Hero For Sale
07-05-2006, 11:44 PM
A nice gift.

What is he interested in?

alleycat
07-05-2006, 11:48 PM
Trap door underwear since he'll need that prostate exam more often now.

CaroGirl
07-05-2006, 11:53 PM
Depends on what he likes. Golf? A gc at a pro shop or a set of lessons with a pro. Theatre? Two tickets to a play (and you get a little gift yourself!). Cooking? A lesson in cooking exotic food. Wine? A subscription to a good wine magazine. Be creative! If you make a decision with his interests in mind, you can't go wrong.

And you can always throw in a package of Depends adult leakage protection for fun.

writerterri
07-05-2006, 11:57 PM
:e2brows:

And a new wallet with 50 bucks in it.

writerterri
07-05-2006, 11:58 PM
Some of you guys need therapy or as Reph would say, a date. :D

alleycat
07-05-2006, 11:58 PM
A stripper.

Shadow_Ferret
07-06-2006, 12:01 AM
I want a Harley. Or one of those Japanese "fast and furious" cars. Or a nice powerful home theater system with a subwoofer so powerful that it'll freak out the neighbors when I play the gun battle in the building in the "Matrix."

rhymegirl
07-06-2006, 12:55 AM
Golf?
No.
Theatre?
Nope.
Cooking?
Not really.
Wine?
I like wine; he likes beer.
Depends.
Hmm....might be a good gag gift.
A stripper.
Um, no.
I suggest two red bows and a thong.
That's a possibility.
_________

Nangleator
07-06-2006, 01:00 AM
I'm in the sex-related-gift camp.

I'm gonna be 44 soon, and I'm pretty sure I might need an ego stroke on the day.

So, to sum up, nix the Viagra, wear two pasties & a thong (with a fuzzy bunny tail,) and give some very specific, very obscene coupons.

AnnMB
07-06-2006, 01:09 AM
50 is a touchie age--a gag gift may not go over so good at this sensitive time.

If you have the cash, a trip would be nice--say, a long weekend doing something exotic and daring (i.e sky-diving or parasailing would be my husband's choice). If your low on cash, maybe set up a "spa night" at home, with lots of pampering (yes, guys like to be pampered, too!) Practice your massage technique, or maybe take a belly-dancing lesson, and treat him to a performance (sometimes the best gifts don't come in a package).

NeuroFizz
07-06-2006, 01:13 AM
Use the card to get the gag thing across. Get him something nice and useful for the gift. It doesn't have to be something expensive, just something that shows you put some thought into it--that you didn't just open it up for suggestions in an international, web-based forum.

rhymegirl
07-06-2006, 01:19 AM
Use the card to get the gag thing across. Get him something nice and useful for the gift. It doesn't have to be something expensive, just something that shows you put some thought into it--that you didn't just open it up for suggestions in an international, web-based forum.

Interesting. A funny card that jokes about his age but a nice gift.

Hey, suggestions are good. I am trying to put some thought into it.

scfirenice
07-06-2006, 01:32 AM
There is only one thing in the world a man really wants for his birthday. Truely, all can deny it, but the only thing they REALLY want is a um ah hem Blow, uh, pop. YOU KNOW. Come one guys. Complete self gratification you don;t have to reciprocate....don't lie. It would be his best b day ever.

maestrowork
07-06-2006, 01:41 AM
That's not true... at least not particularly, on my b-day. I have BJ&Steak Day in March to look forward to.

Shadow_Ferret
07-06-2006, 01:43 AM
A blowpop? I'm more of a tootsiepop kind of guy.

And I'd still rather have the Harley. or hometheater.

threedogpeople
07-06-2006, 01:49 AM
A helicopter ride where the drop you off in a place that can't be reached by car....there's a service out there where they drop you off with a gourmet picnic basket, wine, blanket and don't come back for you for 4 hours (given that he's turning 50, it might be just enough time).

CaroGirl
07-06-2006, 01:50 AM
How about:

Season tickets to his favourite sports team's home games for next season.

A subscription to Sports Illustrated (including the swimsuit edition).

A big, fat stainless steel Weber barbecue (my husband would wet himself if he got one).

A gift certificate to Home Depot or the nearest favourite hardware store.

A saw, such as, a table saw, jigsaw, circular saw, chainsaw. Guys love to saw stuff.

Nangleator
07-06-2006, 02:10 AM
The problem with the blowpop on the birthday is that it can lead to the justification that it's only for the birthday. You know. So it's 'special.'

Frankly, one blowpop a year ain't enough for me.

Nangleator
07-06-2006, 02:11 AM
I'm sorry. I didn't mean for the thread to go in this direction.

It is on topic, though.

threedogpeople
07-06-2006, 02:18 AM
The problem with the blowpop on the birthday is that it can lead to the justification that it's only for the birthday. You know. So it's 'special.'

Frankly, one blowpop a year ain't enough for me.

Hey, she's asking for suggestions...not for something that's, "Well, duh?"

SC Harrison
07-06-2006, 02:18 AM
Drop the kids off for a sleepover, disconnect the phone, put on some relaxing music, run a hot bubble-bath (for two) with only a few candles lighting the bathroom, get dressed just long enough to pay for the pizza and then bring it to the bedroom, make love until exhaustion overtakes you, finish the pizza and do it again. Oh, during the second round with the pizza, give him the Home Depot gift certificate. :)

GPatten
07-06-2006, 02:58 AM
Some of you guys need therapy or as Reph would say, a date. :D

Two peaches would be my choice. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v67/pattengr/OldSeaCaptain.jpg

maestrowork
07-06-2006, 03:02 AM
I happen to know that your hubby is a sports fan... give him two baseball tickets to his favorite team.

An appointment for a massage is ALWAYS welcome. Especially at 50, he'll have a lot of aches and pain.

rhymegirl
07-06-2006, 03:39 AM
Season tickets to his favourite sports team's home games for next season.

A subscription to Sports Illustrated (including the swimsuit edition).

A big, fat stainless steel Weber barbecue (my husband would wet himself if he got one).

A gift certificate to Home Depot or the nearest favourite hardware store.

A saw, such as, a table saw, jigsaw, circular saw, chainsaw. Guys love to saw stuff.

I should have mentioned that I'm pretty broke right now. Freelance writers often have cash flow problems.

drevil915
07-06-2006, 04:20 AM
If he likes golf, get him one of those exploding golf balls, go with him to the green and sneak it in with the regular ones.

drevil915
07-06-2006, 04:22 AM
...and maybe take him to an Improv theater. It's not too expensive and it's a lot of fun.

rhymegirl
07-06-2006, 04:25 AM
Actually he was just ogling some naked and semi-naked pictures of Heidi Klum on the web so maybe I should get him a Heidi Klum calendar.

scfirenice
07-06-2006, 04:27 AM
A naked heidi klum calandar and a blowpop.

robeiae
07-06-2006, 05:53 AM
Borrow a pottery wheel and some clay, then hold a session of naked vase-making.

maestrowork
07-06-2006, 05:55 AM
"Oh, my love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch..."

BlackCrowesChick
07-06-2006, 06:15 AM
Get him a tape/DVD of Molly Shannon doing her SNL sketch of Sally O'Malley. You seen that? "I'm fifty! Fifty years old! And I can kick, and I can stretch, and I'm fifty, fifty years old!" That was her catch phrase. She wore these stretch pants way up high, so maybe you could buy him a pair of those too. Good fifty years old gag gift.

I don't have any real gift ideas, sorry. Gags are fun though.

deacon
07-06-2006, 06:42 AM
There is only one thing in the world a man really wants for his birthday. Truely, all can deny it, but the only thing they REALLY want is a um ah hem Blow, uh, pop. YOU KNOW. Come one guys. Complete self gratification you don;t have to reciprocate....don't lie. It would be his best b day ever.

in the famous words of George Washington, "you ain't lyin'"

robeiae
07-06-2006, 06:45 AM
Complete self gratification you don;t have to reciprocate...
Wait a tic--I thought that was...

What kinda stinky present is that?

Jo
07-06-2006, 09:37 AM
I know this isn't too original, but you could buy him a cane or walking frame. (For cheaper alternatives, you may be able to pick one up at a second-hand store, or buy ex-hire ones from a pharmacy, etc.).

I gave my hubby a cane(ing) for his 21st (and he reciprocated with his...).

mdin
07-06-2006, 09:40 AM
Get him an Xbox 360. That's what I'd want.

tiny
07-06-2006, 09:44 AM
Borrow a pottery wheel and some clay, then hold a session of naked vase-making.

Naked vase making is not as fun as it sounds. Especially since, if your clay is aged properly, you need a tetanus shot to work with it. :D Skip the clay and go right the naked massage.

poetinahat
07-06-2006, 10:18 AM
First of all, Good luck deciding, Kathy. I bet he'll love whatever it is.

The problem with the blowpop on the birthday is that it can lead to the justification that it's only for the birthday. You know. So it's 'special.'

Frankly, one blowpop a year ain't enough for me.
I can't believe I'm commenting on this, but...

I agree with Nangle. But I'll address it in a more general sense.

Here's what I got for my 40th:

My wife invited my good friends around and decorated our house like a jazz club. Tables, cabaret seating, even made special coasters. Record album covers all over, done up with my photo and different titles ("Poetman Sings The Blues", that sort of thing.

MY music all night long, and my friends. I loved it. Nothing fancy or expensive, but just something I wouldn't have thought of... with my mates.

I would've loved a poker game and a couple of cigars as well -- or a day's surfing lessons -- but I'll have more birthdays.

The 'candy'? Hey, that's between us. And I don't want to save it for my birthday!

Chacounne
07-06-2006, 11:53 AM
Is there something he always wanted to do, but hasn't for some reason? Something that he might have told only you about. Something that speaks of his dreams for the future. If you can't make this happen financially right now, maybe you could give him a gift certificate towards it, or something that alludes to his dream.

Just a suggestion,
Chac

ATP
07-06-2006, 12:25 PM
I am amazed at some of the replies here. I guess that I spend too much time inside, in front of a computer, conducting intense, trade article related reseach and writing.And regularly watching dvds after work.
I feel myself positively dull after reading some of the replies here.

Hmmm...interesting though, no-one has suggested - ta da! - a book!!? (The man's married to a writer, and doesn't read? One doesn't always follow the other, does it...?)

RG, I truly hope that he's satisfied with what you get him.

Sarita
07-06-2006, 05:42 PM
he likes beer. The gift (http://www.beermonthclub.com/) that keeps on giving (and you don't have to pay for all at once ;) )

rhymegirl
07-06-2006, 06:10 PM
I'm sorry. I didn't mean for the thread to go in this direction.

It is on topic, though.

It's amazing how on AW ALL threads seem to go in this direction.

Nangleator
07-06-2006, 07:36 PM
Jaycinth started it.

Shadow_Ferret
07-06-2006, 08:04 PM
Actually he was just ogling some naked and semi-naked pictures of Heidi Klum on the web so maybe I should get him a Heidi Klum calendar.

A subscription to Playboy?

NeuroFizz
07-06-2006, 08:52 PM
Hey, Kathy. For a limited budget, get him a new wallet (or a new briefcase if appropriate). In that wallet (or briefcase), put in several home-made coupons, some large and easily found, others small and well-hidden. For the coupons, make a list of things he really likes to do, but can't always find the time. Also, do some simple ones. Some (possibly lame) examples, excluding the more intimate ones you may think of:

Get out of taking out the trash coupon
Get out of mowing the lawn coupon
Night out with the boys coupon
Uninterrupted day of televised sports coupon
His choice restaurant meal for two coupon (with you, of course)
Full day of no nagging coupon

This is where is can get very personal and thoughtful on your part. Some could be humorous, others serious.

oswann
07-06-2006, 09:18 PM
Have you thought of an original Monet painting? If I were you I'd look at some of the later works, he was blind as a bat so you get more paint per square yard for your money.



Os.

rhymegirl
07-06-2006, 10:42 PM
Hey, Kathy. For a limited budget, get him a new wallet (or a new briefcase if appropriate). In that wallet (or briefcase), put in several home-made coupons, some large and easily found, others small and well-hidden. For the coupons, make a list of things he really likes to do, but can't always find the time. Also, do some simple ones. Some (possibly lame) examples, excluding the more intimate ones you may think of:

This is where is can get very personal and thoughtful on your part. Some could be humorous, others serious.

I like this idea. :)

Stew21
07-06-2006, 11:03 PM
Kathy, I did this for valentine's day one year for my husband. A car with about 25 coupons in it. Including one for cleaning his truck out for him, one was for him to give me in a disagreement where even if I thought I was right, I would back down and say I wasn't (he never used it! LOL). And a few for a night out with the guys, a couple for "intimate favors" and a few for chores he could pawn off on me. It was great. He loved it! I highly recommend it.

maestrowork
07-06-2006, 11:07 PM
Married guys are so sad...

:D

deacon
07-06-2006, 11:12 PM
Married guys are so sad...

:D

you have on idea.
do not go gentle into that good night.
it's basically the same thing.

Stew21
07-06-2006, 11:14 PM
Married guys are so sad...

:D

some are, probably, but mine woke up happy this morning! :D

NeuroFizz
07-06-2006, 11:28 PM
Married guys are so sad...

:D
Pathetic maybe, but not sad. I'm a happy man.

maestrowork
07-06-2006, 11:29 PM
I meant pathetic.

Shadow_Ferret
07-06-2006, 11:29 PM
I'm happy too but that's because I'm in denial.

MidnightMuse
07-06-2006, 11:48 PM
Have you thought of an original Monet painting? If I were you I'd look at some of the later works, he was blind as a bat so you get more paint per square yard for your money.


Or Baroque, if you're all out of Monet.

Maryn
07-07-2006, 12:01 AM
Kathy, consider one other almost-free gift: with your kid's help if needed, burn him a CD or six, each one a mix of great music from his youth.

Fifty? There's some terrific stuff from his late teens and early twenties. Aim for each CD to have a similar mood or feel. Depending on whether you have to buy downloads or can copy from CDs in your and your friends' collections, this can cost almost nothing.

Idea two: a packed suitcase for two (minimalist-style) and a 'ticket' to your own room, to which you retreat well before tiredness overtakes either of you. There he finds beer on ice, candlelight, and clean sheets. Oddly enough, the TV doesn't seem to be working...

A picnic, a leisurely hike, a rented canoe, any place outdoors and relaxing with no one else around. It doesn't have to get romantic, as in sexual, for you both to enjoy time pleasantly spent together doing something well out of your routine. (Our rule: once out of the car, no talking about the kids or about money.)

Tickets to the nearest comedy club, even if you've never heard of whoever's appearing. Go out for drinks first and he'll be funny enough.

A certificate promising to intercept all mail from AARP for one calendar year.

Maryn, who'd stay away from Depends and Viagra jokes

robeiae
07-07-2006, 12:15 AM
some are, probably, but mine woke up happy this morning! :D
Out of town on business, is he?

:roll:

Stew21
07-07-2006, 12:17 AM
Out of town on business, is he?

:roll:

if he is then I wonder who I ....uh...hhmm....

maestrowork
07-07-2006, 12:18 AM
The milkman was very happy this morning.

Stew21
07-07-2006, 12:21 AM
The milkman was very happy this morning.

not sure where you live, but we don't have milkmen here!
:)

neighbor maybe?
I'll have to go to the grocery store and see who smiles at me funny and winks.

MidnightMuse
07-07-2006, 12:21 AM
The guy in the produce section, stacking grapes.

Stew21
07-07-2006, 12:23 AM
No, I'm pretty sure he's 15 - and that would be BAD!
That'd make me worse than Mrs. Robinson!

coo coo cachoo all over again!

rhymegirl
07-07-2006, 12:26 AM
...who'd stay away from Depends and Viagra jokes

Absolutely. I had such a hard time picking out a "50" card. All kinds of jokes about losing one's hair, gaining a big beer belly, needing products like Depends and Viagra. Boy, people turning 50 sure get picked on!

robeiae
07-07-2006, 12:42 AM
The milkman was very happy this morning.
Why? Did you leave him a bigger tip than usual?

Stew21
07-07-2006, 12:49 AM
Why? Did you leave him a bigger tip than usual?

:roll: