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View Full Version : Who's the stupidest or the wickedest customer you ever had to help or wait on?


Lantern Jack
05-04-2006, 05:23 AM
I distinctly remember this 60-year-old fellow in a wheelchair who beat up a mentally-handicapped person at the K-Mart Lockport Public Diner (where I was working as a dish dog, and now am working again, as an Office Max employee:tongue ), then sprayed feces all over the men's room, and guess who it fell to to mop up:tongue

Maryn
05-04-2006, 06:16 AM
I worked for a utility company when prices for energy rose dramatically. I lost count of the number of people who called me a f---ing c--- for refusing to reduce their bills to previous levels or for failing to stop collection agents from calling on them at home. Idiots. You used it up, you have to pay for it.

Maryn, who hated that job

MadScientistMatt
05-04-2006, 04:09 PM
LJ, your customer definitely tops the worst ones I've seen working in customer service for industrial equipment. The wickedest customer I had to deal with was a guy running a contract manufacturing facility in the Midwest that shall remain nameless. He was merely tempermental and angry, not a lunatic. I was supposed to help his operators get a machine that wasn't running too well dialed in. He had bought one of our used laser machines, sold as-is but with a maintenance contract.

When I arrived shortly after lunch (that was my scheduled arrival time), he spent about fifteen minutes yelling at me because he said he was expecting me to arrive first thing in the morning. He went on to yell about how all but one of the people from my company had been incompetant, never arrived on time, how the previous technician my company had sent had messed up his machine, etc. I later found out that he had, in fact, been informed of the expected time of my arrival, and should have known that I was not going to show up first thing in the morning. I guess he thought that complaining about things was a good motivational tool.

Well, it turns out that the previous technician had screwed a few things up. So I went about making a few adjustments to the machine. We then found out that a lens in the machine was badly damaged. Replaced the bad lens and it started running just fine. I mentioned that we had come up with a kit that could reduce wear and tear on the lens. The owner flew into a rage at this, annoyed that it hadn't been installed on the machine when we sent it. Well, he had purchased it used and as-is!

Definitely the worst customer I had to deal with.

Melisande
05-04-2006, 10:46 PM
"Who's the stupidest or the wickedest customer you ever had to help or wait on?"


I am the stupidest and wickedest customer that ANYONE ever had to wait on. I LOVE giving those stupid wicked storeclerks and waiters a hard time, yelling "the customer is always right' when I dash out in a rage after having spent no money at all!
A small revenge :rant: on all the stupid wicked customers I had to wait on during many years in my youth.

The ironi of it all is that I guess that when I get old and sick, all of those stupid wicked storeclerks and waiters will have put themselves through medical school, and will treat me according to my earlier bahavior!:eek:

CaroGirl
05-04-2006, 10:55 PM
I used to sell women's lingerie at the mall. One day a guy came in, a regular looking guy, jeans, leather bomber jacket. I went up to the panty table and asked if he needed a hand.

"Well," said he, "I'll be honest with you, it's for me. My boyfriend bought me a pink bra and I want to surprise him with a pair of matching panties."

When I took my jaw off the floor (I was young and naive), I told him I'd go to the backroom and see what I could find. By the time I had composed myself and returned, he'd found what he wanted and was waiting at the cash desk. I sold him a pair of panties for himself, and gave him a lovely colour catalogue to boot. That was a first for me.

Btw, he was a very nice guy, not like some of the pervs who used to call up the store and ask me what kind of underwear I was wearing (sheesh!).

ChaosTitan
05-04-2006, 11:29 PM
"I am the stupidest and wickedest customer that ANYONE ever had to wait on. I LOVE giving those stupid wicked storeclerks and waiters a hard time, yelling "the customer is always right' when I dash out in a rage after having spent no money at all!


So you're the one I waited on last week! :box:

Melisande
05-04-2006, 11:30 PM
:flag: Sorry!
Nothing personal.

pconsidine
05-04-2006, 11:33 PM
Amazingly, I don't think I've ever had to wait on anyone who was anything worse than rude. Though there was a rumor that one customer came in, bought a bunch of junk from me, and then went and OD'd on heroin in the bathroom. That may qualify.

eldragon
05-04-2006, 11:37 PM
There's no way I could count just one - not working grunt jobs all my life ...........and being a Vegas Cocktail Server for a decade.


Let's see:

The person who pooped on the floor of the casino. A security guard (not me, thank God) had to guard it to make sure nobody stepped into it.
A stalker who chased me for a few hours - finally was thrown out of the casino by security. He showed up in my gated apartment complex the next day. Luckily I had called in sick to work .........he didn't see me coming home.
The guy who brought a gun into the casino - he eventually was arrested, but held a stand-off for hours that day.
The day a light-as-a-feather piece of foam fell off the ceiling over Keno, and several customers pretended to be "hurt" by it. That was doomsday for all mankind. What people won't do for a buck these days.

The list is endless. I should write a book about it. OH yeah! I did write a book about it!

Fern
05-04-2006, 11:46 PM
I think the stupidest one I got ahold of was the lady that stopped in town to purchase a Coke to mix drinks with. She inadvertantly got Dr. Pepper. Realized her mistake and came to my house. . .my little country convenience store was already closed for the evening. Asked me to open up and "swap" pop with her.

I mean, if I were going to have the nerve to ask someone to open up a business for a less than a $2 item, I would have at least just bought it and not asked to swap.

Actually, I don't know who was the stupidest. She was a neighbor, so I did go open up and swap pop with her. And, she wasn't even a regular customer.

Jcomp
05-05-2006, 12:41 AM
Generally, everybody I had to help when I used to work for Camelot records in '97-'98.

"Where's the country section?"

"About ten feet to your right, under the big, blue sign that says 'Country.'"

"You got the soundtrack to that movie that just came out? You know, uh... How Stella Shook Her Groove Thang?"

"Sorry sir, never even heard of that movie. When you find that one, you let me know."

"Come on, you know what I'm talking about. Just came out, uh...Stella Getcha Groove On. Whoopi Goldberg's in it."

"Actually, Whoopi's in 'How Stella Got Her Groove Back,' the title of which is prominently displayed in enormous font on the giant poster printed on the very wall presently standing behind me. If that's what your looking for, you'll probably find about 50 in stock in the soundtrack section. Soundtracks, being about ten feet to your left, under the big, blue sign that says 'Soundtracks.'"

And that display of excellent customer service is why I got out of retail...

Jcomp
05-05-2006, 12:55 AM
Oh, and one from a buddy of mine who used to work at Blockbuster... (spoiler ahead for anyone who hasn't seen "The Ring")


While the movie the Ring is out in theaters, I think in its second weekend, a lady walks up to the counter at Blockbuster, with several other people in line on a busy Friday night, and asks aloud, "Is Lord of the Rings that new movie where the girl crawls out of the TV?"

(spoilies over)

Let's trace the layers of stupid here, shall we?

A) Lord of the Rings.... The Ring? Are you serious? You actually got those two confused? Come on now...

B) New movies that have just come out in theaters do not come out at the same time at Blockbuster video. They might come out at Buster from the Block's Bootleg Videos, but not at legitimate rental places. Apparently my friend had to argue this point with people often, with various movies.

C) Lest we forget, now you've completely spoiled the climax of The Ring for anyone within earshot who might have wanted to see it that weekend, or sometime in the future.

That last offense should sentence you to a 1-5 year stint of watching nothing but Lifetime Movies, where the big twists are always "My perfect husband's actually a maniac," "My privileged daughter's a crackhead," or "Some crazy woman who at first seems friendly is actually scheming to steal my man/children/house/cake recipes."

Annabella5780
05-05-2006, 01:01 AM
Let's see. It's so hard to decide what is worse:

The customers who are certifiably insane and actually beat up other customers in my store.

The customers who come in drunk, begging other customers (mostly college students) for beer, urinate on themselves, fall down and knock over half of the freestanding displays we have up, and then "disappear!"

The customers who come to the store cut up and bleed everywhere, or the teenagers who think it's funny to sneak off to the bathroom and urinate over everything.

Or the man who came into the store wearing nothing but a baseball cap and a tshirt tied about his waist, with the backside covered, the front hanging all out, and hands the cashier his underwear.

Nope, can't decide.

badducky
05-05-2006, 01:20 AM
My first job was a traffic attendent at Six flags Over Texas, in Arlington.


I was standing in the sweltering Texas heat in the turn-around section where trams come to deposit herds of unsuspecting victims. No one was allowed to park there. My "job" was to stand there and make sure that nobody parked in this area. Six bucks an hour, when minimum wage was 4.25, if you can believe that.

Late in the afternoon, a car flew down the empty roadway, swerved up to the edge of the place you aren't supposed to park, and hurriedly staff medics and security guards loaded a child into the back seat of this automobile. The car began to rush off, but came to a screeching halt right next to me.

I noticed, in the back seat, a bleeding child in obvious pain, clutching at his leg while the child's mother kept direct pressure on the wound with bloody towels.

The driver's window rolled down. The man (and I use the term loosely) behind the steering wheel asked me a question. "I'm just taking my son to the emergency room. If I leave and come back in, do I have to pay another six bucks to park?"

I, dumbfounded, looked at the man like he'd just pooped on the pope. "Well," I said, "did you keep your parking ticket?"

He rummaged around his dashboard, telling his child to just wait a moment. Then, securing the reciept from a pile of trash on the floor, showed it to me. "This the one?" he said.

"Um," I said. I took the ticket, considered tearing it for a moment, but then comported myself enough to realize that this was definitely his wife's job. I handed the ticket back. "Yes, it is. Just show that to the attendent on the way back in."

He drove off like a bat out of hell.

I use the term "hell" because I think it definitely applied in this scenario.

English Dave
05-05-2006, 01:44 AM
.

I noticed, in the back seat, a bleeding child in obvious pain, clutching at his leg while the child's mother kept direct pressure on the wound with bloody towels.

The driver's window rolled down. The man (and I use the term loosely) behind the steering wheel asked me a question. "I'm just taking my son to the emergency room. If I leave and come back in, do I have to pay another six bucks to park?"

I, dumbfounded, looked at the man like he'd just pooped on the pope. "Well," I said, "did you keep your parking ticket?"


Would have saying 'fugget about it, do what you've gotta do' have killed you?

roach
05-05-2006, 03:04 AM
My stupid customer stories seem tame by comparison to the rest of y'all's.

I worked a stint as a manager of a warehouse that sold used books via the internet. One day a woman called, irate, wondering where her book was. I checked the orders and saw that we had received her order the day before. I told her this, that the order hadn't been processed yet, that she had paid for regular shipping and that it would be a 7 to 14 day period before her book arrived. At which point she lost it, shouting that on the site (Amazon.com) it says the books ships in "24 hours."

It took me a few seconds to understand what she was on about. But apparently she read it to mean that she'd get the book 24 hours after she had ordered it. I tried to explain to her that what it meant was that the book would leave our warehouse in 24 hours. (And who gets overnight shipping for $4.95 anyway?) She was adament that it was blatant false advertising. I pointed out that even if that were the case then her problem would be with Amazon.com. And she responded with the logic that since we are the vendors, Amazon.com's wording is making us look bad, so I should make Amazon.com change the wording. She ended up cancelling the order.

Then there was the woman who ordered a book and about three days later called, wanting us to change the credit card she had used. Apparently she had charged the book to her employers credit card and must have realized that the company would see the charge and she'd get in trouble. I had to explain that even if we credited the order and charged her card, the order would still show up on the statement. This time I got yelled at because we processed the order so quickly. Obviously I should have waited the three days knowing that she would realize how dumb it is to charge personal items to the company card and change her mind.

Then there was the lady who wanted to know if we carried the cliff notes to The Hobbit.

The lady who called about a book we had listed, thinking that it might have belonged to her late husband. She made me go through the whole book looking for various signs of ownership and then demanded that we send the book to her for free because her son had sold off her husband's library after her husband's death without her permission.

Lantern Jack
05-05-2006, 03:08 AM
There's no way I could count just one - not working grunt jobs all my life ...........and being a Vegas Cocktail Server for a decade.


Let's see:

The person who pooped on the floor of the casino. A security guard (not me, thank God) had to guard it to make sure nobody stepped into it.
A stalker who chased me for a few hours - finally was thrown out of the casino by security. He showed up in my gated apartment complex the next day. Luckily I had called in sick to work .........he didn't see me coming home.
The guy who brought a gun into the casino - he eventually was arrested, but held a stand-off for hours that day.
The day a light-as-a-feather piece of foam fell off the ceiling over Keno, and several customers pretended to be "hurt" by it. That was doomsday for all mankind. What people won't do for a buck these days.
The list is endless. I should write a book about it. OH yeah! I did write a book about it!

Where can I buy it?

pconsidine
05-05-2006, 03:20 AM
What's funny is that I've had far worse people to deal with since I've been in printing and publishing. Sure, there's much less actual feces, but the sh-t I've had to deal with over the years, especially in such a genteel industry as publishing, is insane. I can't think of a really good example right now, but there was one time when I was production manager of an international real estate glossy when a woman in Australia actually stayed up until something like 2AM her time just so she could call me as soon as I walked in the door and rip into me because the phone number was wrong in her ad. Because I was the one who designed her ad, right?

Sheesh.

arrowqueen
05-05-2006, 03:30 AM
When I was a student, I used to spend my summers working in the tea-bar on the Scotland-Ireland ferry. Since some places in Britain didn't accept Irish money, I'd give it out on the way there and give out the British money on the way back.

The system worked fine - until this eejit turned up. I gave him his change and he just looked at it.

'This is Irish!' he said.

'Er, yes, sir. It's Ireland you're going to.'

'I don't want THIS. It's Irish money.'

'Yes, sir. I know. Irish money is what they use in Ireland.'

'I don't want Irish money.'

'But you're going to Ireland and this is what they use there.'

'I don't care. I want British money.'

I gave up and let him have his bloody British money - but I always wondered what happened to him if he continued to carry on like that once he got there. I suspect his body is lying mouldering in an Irish peat bog.

badducky
05-05-2006, 04:10 AM
Would have saying 'fugget about it, do what you've gotta do' have killed you?

This man stopped over six dollars. Six. Dollars. He rummaged. He asked questions. He was planning on returning to the park -- apparently -- while his child was in the emergency room.

No, I don't say "fugget about it, do what you've gotta do". I give him my best horrified look, and let him know with my body language that what he is doing is so unforgettably wrong that no human can believe he's doing it.

That's like an ambulance driver stopping to ask if he can get your phone number while he's driving someone to the hospital. Horror. Shock. Stare in horror. Act like you can't believe someone is asking this.

kikazaru
05-05-2006, 04:15 AM
Then there was the lady who wanted to know if we carried the cliff notes to The Hobbit.

Lol at your whole list. There is something about books that brings out the nuts!;)

I worked in a library for many years and the number of times people would call and ask for a book, which they didn't know the title, didn't know the author and the only information they had about it is that their neighbour read it - and it had a red cover. Surprisingly enough, sometimes we even found it.

Once I was working at the front desk when an athletic sort wandered in, wearing jogging clothes and perspiring heavily and handed me his overdue book. I told him that it would be 2 dollars, so he reached down into his SOCK and handed me his money. This was bad enough, but the title of the book was called "Foot Diseases and Their Treatment..." Gah!

Rane
05-05-2006, 04:48 AM
I get alot of stupid people in my store, and alot of disgusting stories to go along with it.

Usually it has to do with the public bathroom:

One day a guy went in there and used it, and then left. Afterwards, customers complained about the smell, so one of the employees went in there thinking the toilet was broken. But no. Apparently this guy had crapped his pants and threw his underwear in the trash can.

Someone also pooped on the floor.

Someone else threw up in the sink.

Somebody (probably the same person) has stolen the chain in the toilet 5 times now.

I wonder about the people that made the law that places HAVE to have public restrooms. I bet it wouldn't be in effect anymore if they had to clean those things after one day.

Other weirdos include:

A couple having sex in their car in the parking lot. AND they were parked right in front of the store, where everyone walking past saw them! I went out there to look (because I didn't believe any of the customers when they told me) and the guy in the car looked over and smiled at me during the process!

Customers and are so tired/clumsy in the morning that they spill their coffee all over the counter. And it's only usually when I decide to bring a book to read that day and have it sitting on the counter.

There was this guy that had this really bad coughing problem...probably from smoking too much. It was such a horrible cough that when he started up, I would start gagging. Well, he used to do this all over the coffee counter, and people's reactions to it were priceless. A few would look at him, set their cup down, and walk out of the store. Some would ask him if he needed help and if he was okay. Others would look and me and roll their eyes. So after awhile I yelled at him that he wasn't allowed to cough all over the counter because it was making people sick. At least he listened and controlled it when he came in after that.

The best was this lady that bought a cookie, because we were having some kind of special with that and a coffee, and she didn't understand how the special worked, but bought it anyway, and came back 4 hours later to tell me that she thought she should get her money back because the sign we had up didn't make sense. She made me go outside with her and read the sign. Then I gave her her $1 back and she proceeded to follow me around the store still complaining about it. I told her to stop following me, that she had her money and could leave now. But that didn't work, she said I was mouthy to her. So we argued for 10 minutes where I ended up just walking away from her and going into the back room. ..........And two days later, I was at a restaurant with my friend..and she happened to be our waitress!


Wow...I wrote so much in just a few minutes. This topic is my specialty, but I think I'll stop now. I'll try to come up with more later. :)

AlienEeeter
05-05-2006, 09:02 AM
Football players.

I work in a college cafeteria and every summer a couple weeks before school starts the football player come back to start training and we have to feed them. Football players love fried chicken, so much in fact that one day we had ordered a hundred pounds of it for about 40 guys, and we *ran out* before they all got through the line because they were taking 5 apiece. They didn't even wait for us to bring the pan to the line, but were reaching into it with their bare hands while the cook was carrying it out.

They also pull containers out of the salad bar to dump dressing and cheese onto their plates, and always leave their dirty trays on the tables, and cut in line and demand two steaks when we're only supposed to give them one...

Compared to the football players, the week of cheerleaders was a dream.

I also used to work at girl scout camp, where the sometimes the kids would poop in the shower stalls, or even worse, on the floor *next* to the toilet. One time in the kitchen the ovens broke, so I had 3 pans of half-baked brownies which I formed into turd shapes and left in the showers at the pool. The lifeguards had a fit, esp. when they discovered they were just brownie.

Alien Enigma
05-05-2006, 01:28 PM
When I was a telemarketer everyone was rude to me. I didn't like the job anyway, and I didn't like getting cursed out for doing my job.


I worked at a retail store and one customer was trying on pants in public view. He didn't go to the dressing room, he was changing in front of everybody! That was crazy.


Jeff

www.freewebs.com/jefferysmiller