Your wish is granted...

davids

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Granted soon to be released on his show if he still has one

We wish that if he has one it is soon cancelled-perhaps there is a Caponish wall he could tear down in Tehran perhaps
 

davids

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Granted but you will have to pay for two dog walkers and some very large baggies

I wish Paris Hilton had a bad case of tits-did we say tits-we meant zits
 
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Granted - give her implants - DD's at least. In fact, get an airplane flotation device and just implant it in her chest. However you will have to give her a huge a$$ to balance the boobs off - otherwide she will tip over ...

I wish someone would send Nicole Ritchie to some third world country where she would feel right at home weighing 75 pounds. Then at least UNICEF could feed her.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted, but UNICEF goes broke trying to feed her (she keeps purging) and soon they're holding telethons on TV begging for money. Jerry Lewis is host.

I wish someone would come massage my left shoulder.
 

davids

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granted-but really Red-windows are not contingent upon us liking them-they just are

I wish that we could all meet on some high plain of intellectual debauchery-drink ale and eat sauerkraut with spam and see which one of us could fart the longest and the loudest
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted, the building's open and there's tea, but it's way too high up for you to reach and it's a good, oh, five years old and molded.

I wish the idiots I work with would vanish off the face of the earth for at least the rest of today.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. You're fired, pack up your desk right now, it's time to go home!

I wish I wasn't starting the This Is Total Crap, What Where You Thinking, panic-phase of my WIP.
 

alleycat

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Granted. Your WIP is destroyed in a fire (your hard drive as well). You're back at that exciting, "just beginning" stage.

I wish I had gotten ice cream too when I went out to pick up lunch.
 

Jaycinth

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Granted. The meat wagon has just pulled up and they are giving away free lead sprinkles with the purchase of every candy coated corpsicle. Today's special... Frosty Nazi Stormtrooper.
MMmmmmmmmm

I wish you would believe me.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. By the way, I've called 911. Those guys in white aren't to be feared, trust me.

I wish my head wasn't waffling back and forth with ridiculous ideas and low self esteem issues.
 

alleycat

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Granted. You decide once and for all that "I'm smart enough, I'm good enough . . . and doggone it, people like me!"

I wish I knew what I was talking about half the time.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. Sadly, in their zeal to drive away the heat, they also drive away your house, your car, and your city. You're living outside now, but at least it's cool :)

I wish I could pay a superhero to do all my chores this week.
 

Jaycinth

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Granted. The TICK shows up...He's mighty!!!!!

I wish someone would appreciate the ton of borderline psychotic financial advice I've unloaded here in the past 2 days.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. Trouble is, I'd already paid off all my debt and was able to sit back and drink rum while enjoying the show!

I wish more people would resist the urge to use credit cards.
 

davids

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Granted Red but it is hard to imagine that without your shark skin leotards-platform shoes-halter top-in pink of course-that you will be able to handle the Walmart pandemonium-as you are-dressed elegantly-tastefully in your leathers-well dear heart it just wont do

We wish we could done our shark skin leotards-platform shoes-halter top-in pink of course-and prance through the aisles of Walmart heaven with Perciphone