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alleycat

Waiting for Godot
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Granted. Unfortunately, it's in Zimbabwe dollars . . . which mean you just about have enough for a nice lunch.

I wish I had a new suit.
 

arrowqueen

RIP, our sarky besom
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Granted. Your body aquires nutrition by osmosis. You just walked past MacDonalds and sucked in 500 hamburgers.

I wish I had a better memory.
 

arrowqueen

RIP, our sarky besom
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Bugger. Beat me to it again.

Okay. You have a nice new suit - of armour. It's so heavy you can't move.

Now I wish I had a better memory. Again.
 

MidnightMuse

Midnight Reading
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Granted, but you don't have enough power to run it and no backup.

I wish I could stop having kidney stones.

*how the heck did that happen?* too slow.

Granted, you've invented Depends, but the poster above you invented a cure for bladder control issues, so you're broke.

I still wish I could stop having kidney stones.
 

alleycat

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Granted. Both kidneys will be removed.

I wish the political TV commercials were more amusing. "I keep my promises." Hahaha.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. Now TV is All Politics, All the Time ! Welcome to 24/7 politics, on 1234 channels, completely commercial free.

I wish I could do my first draft edits in my sleep tonight.
 

alleycat

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Granted. Just wear the outfit your avatar is wearing and stop the first guy who passes by. He'll be glad to do it.

I wish someone wearing that outfit would come by my house.
 

Cath

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Granted. But you should be warned that it doesn't look so good on Cletus.....

I wish the Speed channel hadn't cut away from the fisticuffs between Paul Tracey and Alex Tagliani.
 

hjwilde

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Granted - unfortunately every last one is a size too small and pinches your feet in places you didn't know you had places.

I wish I'd gone to bed earlier
 

alleycat

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Granted. They will also blow your house to New Hampshire. Enjoy the walk home.

I wish I had more watermelon.
 

MizzVyxen

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Granted. But of course you realize your only option now - and forever more - is Caligula.

I wish chocolate, sugar and bread were important staples of a healthy weight loss program.