Your wish is granted...

poetinahat

say it loud
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Granted. Raw tofu for everyone!

I wish janetbellinger were happier than her avatar looks.
 

Jaycinth

Your Cuddly Sociopathic
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Janet has suddenly won a special writer's jackpot prize that allows her to take her family and live somewhere for 5 years on an allowance of 92,000 Euros a year..au gratis. All she has to do is write and be happy, and she is sooo happy she moves in right next door to you and everymorning at 6 she appears in your home, waking tyour family up with coffee totell you how happy she is. She dances on your lawn at noon and she has had the pet store tie dye your pets and put happpy face stickers all over them. She has hireed people to follow you around telling you that she is still, at that momant ..happy. She visits you every evening for dinner, and when she finishes writing at night she comes over again to tell you that she is happy and will be going to sleep, ahppy and she'll come back inthe AM to tell you how happy she is.

I wish a very very large and habitually over fed elephant would copulate repeatedly with my 'ex's' car. Every day. Forever.
 

smiley10000

What do we do? We write...
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Done. But, I had to grant the "ex's" wish to. The car is permanently parked in your driveway.

I wish I could write a novel that was so adored my name would be more famous than Shakespeare.
 

threedogpeople

This is my BEST side!
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Granted but the adoring fans are Trekies and you are only more famous than Shakespere because your work isn't taken seriously by anyone else.


I wish someone else would give my dogs a bath so they would be clean and fluffy and smell sweet (especially the youngest one because she currently smells like dog sweat).
 

janetbellinger

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Pouf. A person from one of those pampered pet type services pays a house visit in order to bathe your dogs. The dogs come out sweet smelling - they should smell sweet for the dog groomer poured your $98. an ounce cologne into the bath water (your Jacuzzi) plus used all your Body Bar sponges and bubblebaths.

I wished I hadn't eaten so many Cheesies.
 

Pthom

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Sorry.
There's no fix for eating too many Cheesies.
But there is a fix for your attitude. From now on, you are as orange as your avatar, for the very reason you eat too many Cheesies. The good side of this coin is that you have your choice of wigs: chartreusse, day-glo pink or violet.
Oh, and you WILL be happy. ;)

I wish there was an extra day this week and an extra four hours in each day of it. I hate deadlines.
 

Jaycinth

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Granted! POOF!!!!
Earth and Mars have changed places in the solar system. The day is longer, the week is longer and the year is longer. And the line of rotting zombies that was trying to get into your house has vanished.

I wish people wouldn't think of me as evil.
 

janetbellinger

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Poof. You've lost your accounting job and decide to make your living as a spiritual healer. You change your name to Jade and teach people to meditate while standing on their heads. You get so spaced out from the sage brushes you ignite in order to clear the souls of your students that nobody could possibly hate you. How could they hate a person who isn't even mentally present?

I wish I wasn't afraid of june bugs.
 
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Pthom

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Have no more fears.

From now on, those alien looking things that fly into your face and tangle in your hair are called July bugs.

I wish the line of rotting zombies was back; I was in the middle of writing a cool movie script.
 

arrowqueen

RIP, our sarky besom
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They are. Unfortunately the stench is so appalling you are too nauseated to write and are throwing up in the loo instead.

I wish I could control time.
 

MidnightMuse

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You can, for ten minutes, so you keep pushing things back another ten minutes until you finally get trapped and realize that time loops are a pain in the time loops are a pain in the time loops are a pain in the . . .

I wish the computer gods hadn't lost all those posts and all my witty, intelligent words of wisdom, forcing me to try and be witty, intelligent and wise all over again.
 

alleycat

Waiting for Godot
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Granted. The posts are being kept in a hermetically sealed mayonnaise jar on the front porch of Google. No one will expect you to be witty again.

I wish it really was May 23rd again.
 

alleycat

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Granted. Where's my cattle prod?

I wish I could fly without a plane.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted, you can fly like an eagle and you don't need a plane at all. Too bad you can't land without one.

I wish I could figure out what to make for dinner tonight.
 

A. Hamilton

here for a minute...catch me?
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Granted..you fell asleep thinking about it, and dreamt the whole meal. Meanwhile, your family got fed-up with waiting and went out to eat somewhere nice, without you.

I wish we could skip July.
 

alleycat

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Granted. Just walk across a busy street with your eyes closed. After you're hit by a bus, you'll be in a coma for a month. Wake up . . . it's August! You will have a bit of a nasty headache however.

I wish July was more like May (cooler, and more flowers in bloom).
 

Jaycinth

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Granted. You've just gotten a $90K per year job. It comes with a house and a garden. The garden is in a greenhouse attached to your house. Your house is next to McMurdo Airforce base. Since that is in Antarctica, July will be as cool as May.

I wish my post about the cannibal teacher hadn't been lost.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. They're not lost, just digesting. Should be out in a few hours, since the cannibal teacher had some Metamucil last night . . .

I wish I hadn't come to work today.
 

alleycat

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Granted. You didn't come to work, only to play around and chit-chat with your friends. Use the motto, "No need to do today what can be put off until tomorrow."

I wish it would rain today (it's been hot and dry here).
 

A. Hamilton

here for a minute...catch me?
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Granted, it rains, cats and dogs. Real cats and dogs. And frogs too. Splat splat splat..messy!

I wish I had a new grill.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. What's on the menu? Frogs. Sizzle, sizzle, sizzle . . .mmm, tasty!

I wish it was lunch time.
 

alleycat

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Granted. It's lunchtime here. I'm having a sandwich. Later, ice cream.

I wish I someone would wash my car for me. While I took a nap.
 

A. Hamilton

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Granted, your friendly neighbor washes your car while you nap. Then they take it for a drive to air-dry it, unfortunately they crash it by sideswiping a cop car. Hope you had good insurance.

I wish I could take a nap.