Alien Probings

[Michelson]

It is almost universally true that when we read or hear of people who claim to have been abducted by space aliens, there is mention of a “probing” incident. The accounts rarely specify the particular orifice involved in the probing, but I think we all know which one it is.

If true, this is both a puzzling and an alarming phenomenon, for it is difficult to imagine beings who have mastered the immense technical complexities associated with inter-stellar, perhaps even inter-galactic, space travel, for the primary purpose of flitting about the universe, inserting God-knows-what-all into the anal regions of the various life forms they encounter.

I often wonder… are these creatures, ostensibly benevolent and proctologically oriented, on a mission to stamp out cancer by performing random colonoscopies throughout the universe? Or has our planet developed a reputation of being the “anus of the galaxy,” and when space travelers meet and the subject of our solar system arises, some creature invariably says, “Have you been to the third planet? You won’t believe what a$$holes the dominant life form is.” Whereupon the listeners, apparently taking this statement far too literally, decide they have to investigate the matter for themselves.

And the point of all this? I’m not really sure, other than to suggest that when you travel to high abduction areas (Arkansas, for example) it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take along an emergency tube of K-Y Jelly.

[Lori Basiewicz]

Alien's First Day (http://www.bztoons.com/toons/aliensfirstday.html)

[rtilryarms]

heh,

how did I miss this?

Soon I will write about the largest conspiracy and cover up never told.

soon

[Betty W01]

Oh boy!! Gather around, boys and girls, Uncle Yarmy is going to tell us a story!!

http://pages.prodigy.net/rogerlori1/emoticons/campfire.gif

[ChunkyC]

http://pages.prodigy.net/rogerlori1/emoticons/biggrininvasion.gif

[rtilryarms]

hmm,

How about I ask you what you think was the most eye witnessed UFO sighting this century?

How many and where?

Then I will tell a story.

(remember, conspiracy's are my fortay. My stories must be true based)

[rtilryarms]

A boy smiles as he swings on the new leather seat strap.

In September of 1966 chaos erupted in a small elementary school playground. Fourteen agitated frothing steers suddenly began chasing and charging the school children. Teachers threw themselves at the huge animals in an effort to distract the bulls while the children scrambled out of harms way. Over the next 10 hours the school was locked down as the police killed three, animal control sedated 6 and farmers captured the rest. All that was left to do was to herd the surviving cattle out of the schoolyard and bring in machinery for the corpses. It would have been a simple task except for one small detail:

All of the gates were locked and no one could find the keys. The children were released late that night while everyone scratched their heads as the Firemen broke the locks.



In April of 1967…

[sugarmuffin]

C'mon...the point being?

Tell more...

PS Alien phenomenon is one of my favorite subjects.0]

[rtilryarms]

ah,

I was waiting for someone to guess the single-most-witnessed UFO sighting ever.

Kind of a trick question, google will not help.

If I told you that there was one that you cannot find you will get mad at me huh? how about 2?

The Bull story is kind of a set up but if UFO stories are of interest, you would relate to the cattle kidnappings and mutilations.

The clue was that the playground gates were locked. how did the bulls get in there?

Want more? Wait until you hear about April....
Actually This will be a wip in the future but I would like couple of people to take a look at it.

BTW, this story is true. Anyone interested? Maybe I will take it to a private spot so I don't ruin a good thing.

[Lori Basiewicz]

I haven't done any research on this, but, if I was guessing, which I am, I would say

1) Someone who had the key let the cattle in then locked the gate behind them and pocketed the key so it could not be found later.

or

2) There was an underground storm drain connecting the school yard to the pasture and the cattle had walked through it.

(I'm assuming someone had the sense to check the fence for holes and failed to find any and that the cattle weren't able to get under or over the fence or through it using another method.)

[sugarmuffin]

Mike, I thought that's where you were going with it, but you said nothing about any of the animals being mutilated, or that there were any missing from somewhere else.

People in Maine have spotted them. I know someone who swears one came down at night over his lake cottage and he was so terrified he ran an hid in a boat.

Would be interested in seeing the WIP, of course. Send it to me if you feel like it, you skinny thing, you.

0]

[rtilryarms]

Nope, the gates were locked for months.


I'll send ya something Lisa.

It's spooky

[BradyH1861]

I was once probed by an alien.....either that or it was my last proctate exam. Can't remember for sure.


Brady H.